Click to expand transcript Growing Up CODA: Transition to Adulthood Brother Ronnie David: How do you tell your mom and dad you’re not going to be with them anymore? We both moved up closer to the chapel in Atlanta, but now, it’s not a two hour drive. It’s a 20 hour flight now, if you want to see us. Aliw Pablo: It’s part 2 of our episode with Brother Ronnie and Rowel David, who are CODA, or also known as Child of Deaf Adults. In this episode, we’ll be talking about growing up CODA and how that prepared them to be later called into the holy ministry. We’ll find out how they came to the difficult decision of leaving their parents, who are both deaf, behind. Brother Ronnie David: I was shaking. What I said was, you know, we’re going to be leaving, because we’re gonna go study in the ministry now. And I braced myself because, you know, I know this was a shock for her. We never talked to her about it. She didn’t even talk to us about it. It was never discussed it, we’re going to do this. Aliw Pablo: You’re listening to Making Changes, a show about the changes we go through and the life lessons we learn along the way, but always with God by your side. I’m your host, Aliw Garcia Pablo. Today’s episode is perhaps one of the biggest life changes we’ve ever talked about. Brother Ronnie David: Her words will be etched in my mind forever, I will never forget. Right, Rowell? Aliw Pablo: Two young men who have been their parents interpreters all their lives—at the bank, in school, in the workplace, at Church. Brother Ronnie and Brother Rowel have been their parents’ advocates and liaison to the world. But despite their deep love for their parents, they decided to answer God’s call to enter the holy ministry. The stories they will share may shock us but certainly inspire us, on what happens when we have a change in perspective. What happens when we put our fears away, when we replace fear with confidence and trust in God instead, so that we can make room in our lives for His plans? Let’s listen in. [Show open] Aliw Pablo: When would you say that you both started to feel the calling into the ministry? Brother Ronnie David: There was one worship service I do remember. And the minister did say one thing that really stuck out to me, which was, “Even if you’re thinking about it, that’s already a sign.” And I remember after the worship service saying, “I’m thinking about it right now. But does that mean it’s a sign, like, should I join now? There [were] three other brothers in the local [congregation] who are talking about it. And our resident minister announced it after the worship service: “If there are any brothers who would like to join, please meet us in the sanctuary this afternoon at three o’clock,” something like that. But I do remember that three o’clock though. All I remember is when I entered that door, I saw my brother on the other side. And you know what? At that point, I wasn’t surprised he wanted to join. But there’s a reason why when the minister mentioned years before, that if you’re thinking about the ministry, it’s a sign already, until now, until that point, why I didn’t join right away, it was because I was kind of worried about my parents. I mean, they are good and faithful, but like we mentioned earlier, they didn’t have the best kind of jobs, I’ll admit. It was very labor intensive. They spent a lot of hours just to be able to make ends meet. We didn’t have the best life. I’m not going to sugarcoat that; it was really rough. There were hard times. In my mind, I was like, “Okay, me and my brother, this is where we[‘ve] got to have the comeback story. We’re going to get great jobs, you’re going to provide them a great life, and, and we’re all going to have big houses. And we’re going to tell them, “Mom and dad, we did this for you. We love you, you know.” But that Sunday at 3 p.m., that was kind of a different idea at that point. “Okay, now who’s going to take care of mom and dad?” I remember looking at my brother. We didn’t say anything, though. We joined. The minister had us sign a form, or we all prayed after. And I just remember, me and my brother already discussing, “We’re not going to tell Mom and Dad yet.” I don’t know. Why didn’t you want to tell them, Rowell? Brother Rowel David: I think for me, personally, I think it was because who knows if this is even going to go through. And who knows if we would even get approved? You know, this is just a pre-application. And so because, just like what he said, we were worried [about] who’s going to take care of mom and dad. I’m sure you know, in a regular person’s (way of) thinking they would—as parents who are deaf, who depend on their children, they would probably think the same thing. And so for us, it’s like, why would I want to put them through the worry? this may not even go through. So it’s like, you know, I guess it was one of those times where it’s like, we’ll cross that bridge when it comes. Aliw Pablo: But you both hadn’t talked to each other at all about the ministry until you saw each other at the chapel that day? Brother Ronnie David: Oh, yeah, no way. We never spoke about it at all. Aliw Pablo: So, tell us about how your parents found out that you’re both joining the ministry. Brother Ronnie David: Because they announced it after the worship service one day. They said, “Okay, through the guidance of the Church Administration, these brothers were accepted to join the holy ministry.” And they mentioned all the names. And you know what, for a local of less, a little less than 100 people at that time, a little less than 100 brethren, to send five brothers at one time. I was pretty…it was a lot. You could look around, their parents crying, you know, aunties, uncles, friends, cousins. It was super emotional. The only ones who didn’t feel it were probably my parents. Because they’re looking around wondering, why is everybody crying? Did something bad happen? I remember telling, like, the others, please do not say anything to our parents. Because it was still in my mind, who was going to take care of them? I don’t want to… I didn’t even want to think about what we’re going to say to them. They eventually (found) out. I remember we were in the car, and my mother did bring it up. She said, “Is it true what I heard guys? Is it true you both went to join the ministry?” And, honestly, I think we were both speechless. We didn’t know what to say. Brother Rowel David: If you remember I turned around, I looked at you and I said, “Did you tell her?” And then you turned around, you looked at me, and you said, “No. Did you tell her?” You know, and I don’t know for me, because (she’s) deaf, of course, she didn’t hear us say that. But we were trying to have a conversation, we’re trying to get our stories straight so that we can figure out how we can tell her. Brother Ronnie David: Then there was a mom on the side, “I know you guys are talking to each other. I see you.” Aliw: I see you talking about me. Brother Ronnie David: But I’ll tell you what though, it was just kind of… it was quiet. Because how do you tell your mom and dad you’re not going to be with them anymore? How do you do that? Especially when we’re young, I mean, I think I was still young. I was like, 21, my brother was 19. And I do remember, like, I was shaking. I did tell her. I said, “Mom, Dad, so…” I didn’t apologize, what I said was, “You know, we’re going to be leaving, because we’re gonna go study in the ministry now.” And I braced myself because, you know, I know this was a shock for her. We didn’t…we never talked to her about it. She never even talked to us about it. It was never discussed that we were going to do this. But her words will be etched in my mind forever. I will never forget, right, Rowell? She said, “You know, I always prayed for this. I always hoped you guys would join.” Brother Rowel David: I think at that point, it really, I’m sure I can say this on behalf of both of us that—that was the moment for us where it’s like, “If this is what they want, what’s going to stop us?” You know, what… there should be nothing that would stop us, you know. I remember we had a conversarsation. We were sitting there in the sanctuary and we were talking to ourselves and we were saying, you know, “Why did we even think that we could take care of them better than God?” Like, we were so worried about who would take care of mom and dad, you know. We’re trying to go to the ministry, and we forgot what they have been teaching us our entire life, which is that God is always watching you, and God will always take care of you. And so if they were taking care of them, if God was taking care of them, before we even came into the picture, what makes us think that they won’t be able to do it without us? Brother Ronniel David: You have to keep in mind, because the situation at the time was, we were both working not only to take care of ourselves, but we’re also still taking care of our parents. I mean, I even quit school, because I couldn’t afford going to school and taking care of the family, as well. So I took off time from school just to focus on working and saving a little bit more money. And at that age, too, you can only imagine how it’s unfortunate, but I (didn’t) remember this simple thing that our parents have been teaching us all our lives, which is that God is there, and God will take care of you, and trust in God. Brother Rowel David: And that and that was always our answer. That was always our answer when people would say that, you know, who’s going to take care of your parents when you guys leave? We would always say, “God will. God will take care of them.” Because that’s what they taught us. That’s what they ta
