The Saga of the European King Tom McNally

The King has been missing for a long time. All of his friends who are not time-travellers are worried sick.
His friends who are time-travellers, however, have more pressing mysteries on their mind - what is the best way to keep the wild gods of the Arctic from knocking down his rad castle? What really went down at the Sack of Rome, which is hands-down the coolest part of history? And why is Ba'al Hadad, god of thunder and fertility, such a useless layabout?
But don't worry friends, there's a Magic Telephone on the hall table and everything will be all right when he calls back.
--
Written and edited by Tom McNally
--
Performed by Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards with special guest star Peter Markiner.
 
Peter Marinker played Caesar
Amy Sutton played Saint Francis
Joshua Crisp played Ba'al
Tom McNally did the narration and played The King's Great-Great Grandfather, Mechanicus and General Magnificent
 
Theme tune and musical stings by Nicolai Roos
 
Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:
 
SACK OF ROME
00853 distant demolition by Robinhood76
War Drum Single Hits by Matt Namer
BurlingtonIndustriesImplosion by the_toilet_guy
Cardboard burning 1 by raremess
Bonfire Flames by Electroviolence
Riot Crowd Immersed in 5.1 Take 2 by MrProfDrDickweed
 
CHILLINOUS PLAINS
Wind Houling 1 by Bosk1
wind3 by eliasheuninck
svalbard_ny_aalesund_20060807 by jeo
Feedback Soundscape by Thalamus_Lab
Station central hall 2 by Sandermotions
bronze object in wind 140816_0376 by klankbeeld
 
KITCHEN
Kitchen ambiance by Hourofmidnight
Cutlery dropping into drawer by kitschead
Cutlery_2 by coldwellw
Glass dishes by bolcol

The King's friends have been patiently waiting for his return at the Kasteel van Laken in Brussels.
But when a souring love, several heart attacks and the increasing desperation of arch-villain Terrorthaw overcome them they prepare for a long and hazardous sea voyage to the United States.
Will they and their ship be eaten by a gigantic dugong? Signs point to 'yes.'
--
Written and edited by Tom McNally
--
PERFORMED BY
Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards
 
Amy Sutton played Prince Prince, Queen Medb, Sally Minefield, Pineycone, Page
Joshua Crisp played Colonel Glowfist, Father Figaro, Little Louie Duke of Portugal, Jen the Necroninja
Tom McNally did the narration and played Terrorthaw and Chuckwalla
--
 
MUSIC
 
Theme tune music and interstitials by Nicolai Roos
Terrorthaw's sting - Dark Synth and
Glowfist's sting - Guitar Flair by John Bartmann
Pineycone's theme by Mano Camatsos
 
--
SFX
 
Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:
 
A NICE MORNING
brussels-bells-3 by everythingsounds
amb-birds-in-a-garden-in-brussels-2014-03-30-5am by davidmenke
lying-on-bed by avakas
walk-on-bed by gyzhor
 
NECRONINJA DOJO
kalium-arsenicum-5-min-version-binaural by the-very-real-horst
gong-25-144 by the-very-real-horst
walking-into-studio-and-tapping-mics by mickmon.com
01-23-footsteps-tile-slippers-jumping-scuffs by Splicesound
whoosh02 by kingsrow
steps-big-hall-2 by ninafoletti
quarry-blasting by juskiddink
heavy-impacts by richerlandertv
barrage-firework-with-finale-of-powerful-shells-5th-nov-2013 by crosbychris
 
GRAND HALL
wood-burning-stove by nebulousflynn
fire-in-woodburning-stove by benboncan
fire-burning-in-stove by jagadamba
chair-scapes by taxmanforever
cathedral-ambience-01 by klankbeeld
swedish-library by jonnytheponny
cathedraldoor_L by wim
creaking-door_L by wim
footstepsonadock by mmaruska
 
PINEYCONE
bird-flapping-wings by elfman-rox
 
PORTUGUESE DOCK
bi71-corne-de-brume-r by revoyre
caissodre-montijodocks by amabok
matosinhos-beach-in-between-bar-and-waterline by digitopia

The King is trapped in a foreign prison. While his sword entertains his father's greatest enemy, the King meditates on his past adventures, previous episodes and spin-offs.  Which ghost of the past can save him?
--
Written and edited by Tom McNally
--
PERFORMED BY:
 
Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards
 
Amy Sutton played Fighty Fran, Ms. Miller and Bitey the Lion.
Joshua Crisp played Erik Rage-Eater!, Horrible Harry Glowfist, Father Figaro, Axe Axewound and GoGoGorilla.
Tom McNally did the narration and played The King, Terrorthaw and Chuckwalla.
Ben Edwards was Cutty.
--
 
MUSIC
 
Theme tune music by Nicolai Roos
'Domestic Harmony' by John Bartmann
'The Bitey Bop' by Nicolai Roos
--
SFX
Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:
 
ERIK RAGE-EATER!'S THRONE ROOM
cathedral-ambience-01 by klankbeeld
 
FLASHBACK TO KASTEEL VAN LAEKEN
cathedraldoor by wim
empty-corridor-of-a-spacecraft by vospi
ambience-hockeyrink-empty by mikeonfire99
bottlesmarblefloor by herbertboland
running-in-a-hall by taira-komori
 
ART CLASS IN THE LIBRARY
library-children by barcelonetasonora
classroom-ambiance by joedeshon
children2 by yacou
little-girls-screaming by robinhood76
small-girls-screams by robinhood76
two-chairs-crash by issalcake
 
ORIGIN OF BITEY
lacambre by pcaeldries
grass1 by freefire66
lions-two by bidone
lions-roar-at-lincoln-park-zoo by terwelp
footstep-drag-indoors by abbahoot
lagunita-foot-dragging by xserra
swoosh by pasdepoisson
baseball-bat-hit-3 by ctcollab
hitting-baseball-w-wooden-bat by cgeffex
close-combat-baseball-bat-head-hits-multiple by CJ Johnson
 
DEATH OF BITEY
vet-clinic-operating-room-ward by jay6waza
 
JAILBREAK
clatter-wood-11 by adam-n
atlas3-2x-16bit by pixelmasseuse
cellar-atmo-large-building by claudius
metal-screwing by nicstage
rubble-walk-rocky-grit-cave-footsteps by martian
station-central-hall-2 by sandermotions
--
ART
Track art and logo by Tom McNally
Original character designs by Bruno Stahl

How did the King wind up in Viking prison? When did he last speak to his friends? Who becomes Europe's champion while he is away? And what happens when you keep playing Tower Defense after you've built all of the towers and bought all of the upgrades?
> listen to chapter 19_
--
Written and edited by Tom McNally
--
PERFORMED BY:
Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards
 
Amy Sutton played Dogie
Joshua Crisp played Auroch-Man
Tom McNally did the narration and played The King, General Magnificent, Mechanicus and Terrorthaw.
Ben Edwards was Cutty.
--
MUSIC
 
Theme tune music and interstitials by Nicolai Roos
'Medieval Battle' by John Bartmann and John Yarnold
'RPG Battle loop' by sirkoto51 of freesound.org
 
--
SFX
Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:
 
BELIZE BEACH LANDING
cathedral-echo by reinsamba
electricity-crackling-close-to-an-electrical-post-in-the-desert-of-atacama-chile by felix-blume
sea-lines-screaming-on-a-rock-in-the-pacific-ocean-chile by felix-blume
easter-island-5-minute-md-recording-of-waves-crashing-against-volcanic-ro-1 by cybergenic
roaring-house-fire-wall-fall-in by 7778
fire-from-a-nettle by urupin
wood-hit-01 by dheming
fireworks4 by andy-gardner
bottlesmarblefloor by herbertboland
 
SIEGE OF CASTLE MAGNIFICENT
cathedraldoor by wim
empty-corridor-of-a-spacecraft by vospi
ambience-hockeyrink-empty by mikeonfire99
bottlesmarblefloor by herbertboland
running-in-a-hall by taira-komori
01-21-footsteps-tile-slippers-medium-pace by splicesound
atlas3-2x-16bit by pixelmasseuse
cat-running-stairs by philllchabbb
 
CHILLINOUS PLAINS
Wind Houling 1 by Bosk1
wind3 by eliasheuninck
svalbard_ny_aalesund_20060807 by jeo
Feedback Soundscape by Thalamus_Lab
 
ROOF OF THE DARK SPAIN PLAZA
calm-wind by equality-x12
oneeronderhorreo by herbertboland
building-rooftops-ambient by batman6661
phone-vibrate by cabeeno-rossley
going-up-stairs-in-a-hurry by taira-komori
walking-by-in-the-rain-short by roofdog
--
ART
Track art and logo by Tom McNally
Original character designs by Bruno Stahl

Life goes on even inside of a gigantic dugong. Everyone has settled down and found new roles and purpose except for Colonel Glowfist. He has found Gappy the reindeer and has a baffling plan to glitch their way back to the questing life.
Will the master of magic ruin their completed character arcs? Just what is magic anyway? Whatever became of the Colonel's powerful slacks? What does it mean when NPCs name themselves and declare agency?
--
Written and edited by Tom McNally
--
PERFORMED BY
Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Ben Edwards and Tom McNally
 
Amy Sutton played Sally Minefield, Prince Prince, Pineycone, Sofia Cólera and Joanna Cólera.
Joshua Crisp played Colonel Glowfist, Father Figaro, Little Louie and Will Smith.
Tom McNally did the narration and played The King.
--
MUSIC
Theme tune and musical stings by Nicolai Roos
Glowfist's sting by John Bartmann
Sofia Cólera's accompaniment by Beth Gibson
Beach party music was 'Casanova Beach Club Pre-Party Summer 2010' by XaviPinos from archive.org
--
SFX
Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org  community. This episode included the following:
 
INSIDE THE GIGANTIC DUGONG
fat-wet-footsteps-in-small-shower-cabin by rugermuller
mudsquelch by ahill86
footsteps-muddy-e by inspectorj
glossy-magazine-sounds-fieldtapes by fieldtapes
magazine2 by tiptoe84
 
PINEYCONE
bird-flapping-wings by elfman-rox
 
MAGIC
atlas3-2x-16bit by pixelmasseuse
atlas3q-1-fm-16bit by pixelmasseuse
 
ON THE OCEAN
ocean-waves-surround-me by Tamás Bohács
 
BOSS FIGHT
Dugong vocalizations came from the research of Kotaro Ichikawa
 
MIAMI BEACH
 
The following sound effects came from the public domain library at archive.org:
Ocean1 by Sakurasky 2010
Pebble beach near Palaiokastrite Greece by radio aproree available from archive.org
--
ART
Track art and logo by Tom McNally
Original character designs by Bruno Stahl

The King is out of jail and he has a bone to pick with an old enemy of his house and a treacherous friend.
He is never alone in bone-picking and this case he is joined by GoGoGorilla, a private detective but also an ape, and Astrid Gimmerleck, who is putting far more effort into dating Axe Axewound than Axe Axewound is putting into dating Astrid Gimmerleck. She's already aware that he is a violent drunk but how will she react when she learns he can't commit to anything at all.
--
Written and edited by Tom McNally
--
PERFORMED BY:
Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards
 
Amy Sutton played Astrid Gimmerleck
Joshua Crisp played GoGoGorilla, Axe Axewound and Erik Rage-Eater!
Tom McNally did the narration and played The King.
Bed Edwards was Cutty.
--
MUSIC
Theme tune music, interstitials and 'The Bitey Bop' composed by Nicolai Roos
'GoGoGorilla's theme' and 'Work It Out' composed by John Bartmann 
--
SFX
Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:
 
GOGOGORILLA'S OFFICE
foley-footsteps-carpet-001 by conleec
 
JAILBREAK AFTERMATH
station-central-hall-2 by sandermotions
h000-haunted-mine by tec-studios
 
ERIK RAGE-EATER!'S THRONE ROOM
run-basement-01 by lg
industrial-ambience-l by adough1
--
ART
Track art and logo by Tom McNally
Original character designs by Bruno Stahl