So Shameless

So Shameless Podcast

Tahoe, Ms. DajahBelle and Dj Trauma talk relationships, friendships, life issues, finance, sex, and everything about men that annoys women.

  1. 5d ago

    Putting The Medicine In The Candy

    Part Two of So Shameless featuring Kizzle of @expressyourselfblackman and life coach Coach Bellamy (@mrsbellamy.callmecoach) gets personal as we talk about insecurity, fatherhood, relationships, responsibility and some uncomfortable truths about ourselves. We start with something almost everybody experiences but doesn’t always admit: feelings of inadequacy. What do you do when you don’t feel like you’re enough? And how much of overcoming those feelings comes from changing your circumstances versus changing the way you see yourself? Then we get into fatherhood and discipline. What happens when Dad constantly feels like the bad guy because he’s the parent enforcing the rules? Are fathers sometimes sacrificing their relationship with their children in order to prepare them for the real world? From there, Tahoe asks a question that’s guaranteed to start an argument: When your woman is pregnant, should she still have to work — or is it a man’s responsibility to put himself in a position where she doesn’t HAVE to? And does providing that option make it her choice, or should that simply be the expectation? Then things get even more complicated.  Does being in a relationship mean you belong to your partner in some way? Are you your partner’s “possession,” or does that language cross a line between commitment and control? We also talk about preparing your children for what happens after you’re gone. Should your kids know what they’re inheriting while you’re still alive, or should they find out when the will is read? And can knowing what’s coming change the way family members behave? Finally, we ask one of the most uncomfortable relationship questions of the episode:  Can you be partially responsible for your partner cheating on you? The person who cheats is responsible for the decision they make — but can problems inside a relationship help create the circumstances that lead someone to step outside of it? And is understanding what went wrong the same thing as excusing the betrayal?  Insecurity. Fatherhood. Pregnancy. Providing. Possession. Inheritance. Infidelity.  Yeah…Part Two went there. Welcome back to So Shameless. Socials Mrs Bellamy  @MrsBellamy.CallMeCoach on Instagram Kizzle @ExpressYourselfBlackMan on Instagram

  2. Sep 29

    The New Noose Around Our Necks Featuring Coach Bellamy and Kizzle

    This week on So Shameless, we’re joined by Kizzle of @expressyourselfblackman and life coach Coach Bellamy (@mrsbellamy.callmecoach) for a conversation that goes from astrology and self-awareness to war, politics, the media and how we talk about the Black community. First, we have to figure out why so many of us believe our zodiac signs explain the way we move through life. How much of our personality is really connected to our sign — and how much are we just using astrology to explain behavior we already wanted to justify? 😂 Then the conversation gets much more serious as we discuss the war involving the United States, why America is involved, what Americans are being told about it, and whether the upcoming midterm elections can meaningfully affect the direction of the country. We also get into the growing fight over press access and freedom of the press. With journalists facing new restrictions on access to government institutions, what does limiting the media’s ability to question and observe those in power remind us of — and how concerned should Americans be about the precedent it creates? Finally, we bring the conversation home with a phrase we’ve all heard: “Black people don’t support Black people.” Is there truth behind that criticism, or has repeating it become harmful rhetoric that ignores all of the ways Black people DO support one another? And when we constantly tell ourselves that our own community won’t show up for us, are we identifying a real problem — or helping perpetuate the very perception we’re complaining about?  Kizzle (Express Yourself Black Man) and Coach Bellamy join us for a conversation about identity, accountability, politics, community and the stories we tell ourselves about who we are. Welcome back to So Shameless. Socials; Coach Bellamy @MrsBellamy.CallMeCoach on Instagram Kizzle @ExpressYourselfBlackMan on Instagram and Youtube

  3. Sep 25

    The Male Experience Vs The Female Experience

    Part Two of So Shameless gets into the battle between the male and female experience — and whether we’re so busy proving who has it harder that we’ve stopped actually listening to each other. We start with men living in survival mode and whether conversations about men’s struggles are too often dismissed by immediately comparing them to what women experience. Are men genuinely not being heard — or do men sometimes do the exact same thing when women talk about their problems? Then we take that argument to social media. Do some women go online specifically looking for opportunities to tear men down? Do men do the same thing to women? And how much of what we believe about the opposite sex is actually OUR opinion versus us falling victim to internet mob mentality? From there, we get into the mental load at home. Women often describe feeling like their brains NEVER get to turn off — remembering what needs to be bought, cleaned, scheduled, handled and taken care of. Are men contributing enough inside the home? And even when women say they’re overwhelmed, is it sometimes difficult for them to actually relinquish control and allow someone else to handle things?  Then comes the money conversation:  Should men ALWAYS pay for everything? Who actually benefits from that arrangement? Does paying make a man a provider, or can traditional financial expectations create unhealthy dynamics for BOTH people in a relationship?  Speaking of financial trauma, Tahoe made the mistake of taking his daughter to Sephora and discovered that apparently looking pretty costs approximately the same amount as a small mortgage. 😂 We also ask why sleeping with someone else after being cheated on is sometimes treated like a flex. If somebody hurt you by cheating, does revenge sex actually make YOU feel better — or are you still allowing their actions to dictate yours?  And finally, we get into emotional intelligence, adversity and what happens when men allow hurt, ego and emotion to control how they respond when life doesn’t go their way.  Men vs. women. Money. Relationships. Household responsibilities. Revenge sex. Social media.  …and Tahoe discovering the price of makeup.  Socials Chrys Childs @ChrysChilds on Instagram Visit NewMusicWednesdaysLive.com Preme @PremeDaPrez on Instagram Follow @RichFlex for more info about Rich Flex weekend Welcome back to So Shameless.

  4. Sep 22

    Did Macklemore Totally Wreck Ed Sheerans Tour? / Is Lil Durk Really Not Guilty??

    This week on So Shameless, Tahoe tries to do a good deed by buying a stranger some food — only to realize afterward that what HE thought was kindness might have made another man feel emasculated. Can helping somebody cross the line into disrespecting their pride? Then we get into Lil Durk being found NOT GUILTY in his federal murder-for-hire trial and a much bigger conversation about Black culture, street life and accountability. Regardless of the verdict, should we be more critical of the way we celebrate rappers, drug dealers, scammers and other people associated with street culture? And why do we continue glorifying lifestyles when we’ve seen how often they end? On a completely different note, we introduce something we’re extremely proud of: the new So Shameless Scholarship Fund, created to help young people pursue a college education. Then Tahoe brings the problems back home. 😂 His fiancée requires her daughter, who’s a freshman in college, to call when she goes out and text when she makes it safely back to her dorm. Is that responsible parenting when your child is away from home for the first time — or is Mom having trouble letting an adult daughter grow up?  We also get into Papoose and “Jezebel,” and debate whether publicly addressing alleged infidelity through music is fair game. Is expressing your pain through a record different from publicly embarrassing your partner? Finally, we discuss Macklemore being removed from the U.S. leg of Ed Sheeran’s tour following his pro-Palestinian remarks. Was a shared concert stage an appropriate place for Macklemore to advocate for Palestinians? What responsibility does an artist have when they’re performing on someone else’s tour — and where is the line between respecting someone else’s platform and using your own voice? Accountability, parenting, hip-hop, relationships, politics, charity and one good deed that somehow turned into an argument about masculinity.  Socials Chrys Childs @ChrysChilds on Instagram Visit NewMusicWednesdaysLive.com Preme @PremeDaPrez on Instagram Follow @RichFlex for more info about Rich Flex weekend Welcome back to So Shameless.

  5. Sep 18

    One Last Pod feat DajahBell

    Welcome Back to Part two! Part Two starts with the important questions…like WHO THE HELL IS STILL EATING MOUSSE?! 😂 But once we get past that, things get a lot more serious.  This week on So Shameless, we ask what friendship really means when life gets difficult. If you have a friend you would do absolutely anything for, should you expect that person to stand beside you through your trials and tribulations — or are there circumstances where even your closest friends have the right to step away? Then we get into Donald Trump’s proposed $5,000 “Trump dividend” for American adults if Republicans maintain control of Congress in the midterm elections, and the crew debates what they think about tying a proposed payment to an election outcome. We also ask a question people may THINK but don’t always admit out loud: Is it ever okay to believe you’re better than certain people, places or situations? From there, we debate whether the Labor Day parade should be canceled, and Tahoe wants to know where the line is when it comes to Fat Joe and the N-word. Does being Puerto Rican and growing up immersed in Black and hip-hop culture give him a pass to use it — and who actually gets to decide? We also revisit the Lindsay Clancy case following the mistrial and discuss why the case has generated such intense sympathy from some women while others strongly disagree with the support she’s received. And finally, Tahoe has a problem that’s MUCH closer to home: Why would his daughter rather have her boyfriend take her to Bath & Body Works than go with her father?! 😂 Friendship, politics, race, relationships, family — and apparently mousse.  It’s Part Two.  Welcome back to So Shameless.

  6. Sep 11

    Can Women Hate Patriarchy And Still Want Men To Provide? Modern Dating & Double Standards

    Welcome Back To Part Two Feat Tasia, Rell and Alexa Leighton. We get even more shameless as Alexa Leighton, Rell Easy and Tasia stay on the couch for a conversation about patriarchy, gender roles, double standards, motherhood, fatherhood and what men and women REALLY expect from each other. First, why have some women started using “gay” as an insult toward straight men they disagree with or aren’t attracted to? Then we get into the story of Daejon Love, the alleged football scammer, and debate a controversial question: when the red flags are right in front of you, do the people who get fooled deserve any of the blame? And if we’re calling that deception, Rell asks another dangerous question: are makeup, wigs and fake hair women’s version of a scam — or is that comparison completely ridiculous? Tahoe admits that he holds women to a higher standard than he holds men, and Alexa and Tasia aren’t letting him get away with that one easily. The conversation gets much more serious as we discuss the lack of resources helping fathers understand the hormonal, emotional and physical changes women can experience during pregnancy and postpartum. Could better education and support for BOTH parents help couples navigate that period and keep more families together? We also discuss the Lindsay Clancy case, why some women have expressed sympathy for her, and why some Black women have strongly criticized the support and compassion she has received. Finally, Alexa breaks down her perspective on patriarchy, leading to one of the biggest debates of the episode: if the traditional expectation that a man should provide comes from a patriarchal system, can we reject patriarchy while still expecting men to be providers? And would women truly be comfortable with a man who rejects traditional gender roles and allows his woman to financially provide for him? Alexa Leighton, Rell Easy and Tasia join us for Part Two — and nobody is leaving this couch without being challenged. Socials: Alexa @AlexaLeighton on Instagram Tasia @TasiaJanine on Instagram Rell @ConversationsWithRellEasy @RellEasy

  7. Sep 8

    Why Does The Black Community Still Glorify The Streets??? Lil Durk, Keefe D and Why Women Love Simps

    This week on So Shameless, the crew gets into money, masculinity, street culture and everything the internet thinks a man is supposed to be. Tahoe explains why he has absolutely NO interest in spending his money at the strip club when he’s there with his woman and her friends — but does that make him cheap, smart…or a simp? That leads us into the internet’s favorite insult: what actually makes a man a simp, and why are people calling Tahoe one? We also debate Zoe Saldaña vs. Halle Berry and where Zoe belongs in the conversation among Hollywood’s top Black actresses. Then things get more serious as we discuss Keefe D and the Tupac Shakur murder case, the conversation surrounding Lil Durk, and whether saying “Free Durk” is another example of our culture glorifying street life even when we repeatedly see where that lifestyle can lead. And somehow, we have to explain how Mo3’s killer and a pair of blue underwear ended up in the same conversation. Finally, we get into masculinity and male friendships: Is there anything wrong with men being homosocial? Why are close relationships between men sometimes viewed suspiciously? And we tackle the provocative question: are Black men actually more gay than straight — or does that entire conversation reveal something bigger about how we view Black masculinity, sexuality and male friendship? It’s another uncomfortable, hilarious and completely shameless conversation.  Press play and tell us where you stand. Socials: Alexa @AlexaLeighton on Instagram Tasia @TasiaJanine on Instagram Rell  @ConversationsWithRellEasy @RellEasy

4.7
out of 5
1,374 Ratings

About

Tahoe, Ms. DajahBelle and Dj Trauma talk relationships, friendships, life issues, finance, sex, and everything about men that annoys women.

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