Father and Joe

Father Boniface Hicks and Joseph Rockey Jr
  • 4.9 (50)
  • Christianity
  • Updated Weekly

Father and Joe is a podcast series of a continuing conversation about struggles and successes of being close to God. Father Boniface provides spiritual direction through problems of daily life. According to statistics of the average American's church habits - We went to church when we were forced to but somewhere along the way, we drifted away. The ultimate goal of this podcast is to help us get back to church, regardless of what faith you hold, and create a stronger union with God.

  1. 5d ago

    Father and Joe E481: Don’t Give Away Your Peace — Breaking the Cycle of Anger Before It Spreads

    A frustrating interaction can last for seconds, but the anger it creates can follow us for hours. Joe Rockey opens this episode with a very modern example: getting increasingly angry at AI when it gives an obviously wrong answer. The deeper issue, though, has nothing to do with technology. It is what happens when frustration becomes a story—“nothing is going my way,” “everything is going wrong,” or “this always happens to me”—and that story begins shaping the rest of the day. Father Boniface Hicks connects the experience to road rage and other situations where we attribute intentionality or injustice to something that cannot actually intend to harm us. His practical advice is simple: don’t give away your peace. Feelings can arise spontaneously, so we should not shame ourselves for having them. But we can create space between the feeling and the reaction—take a breath, step back, clarify what is actually happening, and choose what happens next. The episode then goes deeper into the mechanics of anger. Before the feeling becomes a reaction, there is often an expectation that was not met and a story we are telling ourselves about what that means. Maybe the AI did not “fail” so much as misunderstand an underspecified request. Maybe being two minutes late is not actually a crisis. Maybe the person in front of us at the grocery store is simply having a human interaction that takes a little longer. Once we identify the expectation and the story underneath the anger, we have something we can actually examine and change. The practical homework is straightforward: find your triggers, identify your story, and check whether that story is true. With greater self-awareness—and with trusted people willing to hold up a mirror—we can catch the “smoke alarm” earlier. That creates room for surrender, perspective, and a return to peace before one frustrating moment spills into our relationships, work, and relationship with God. Key Ideas Don’t give away your peace: frustration may be unavoidable, but escalating it is not. Anger can create a false background narrative—“nothing is going my way”—that causes us to search for evidence supporting the mood. Put space between the feeling and the reaction: breathe, step back, clarify, and reset. Look for the unmet expectation beneath the anger, then examine the story you are telling yourself about it. Self-awareness grows through practice and through trusted people who can help us notice our warning signs before we spiral. Links & References None explicitly referenced with a clear official/source link in this episode. CTA: If this helped, please leave a review or share this episode with a friend. Questions or thoughts? Email FatherAndJoe@gmail.com. Tags Father and Joe, Joe Rockey, Father Boniface Hicks, anger, frustration, anger management, emotional regulation, self awareness, triggers, road rage, AI frustration, artificial intelligence, AI, ChatGPT, Claude, peace, don’t give away your peace, surrender, perspective, unmet expectations, expectations, negative stories, background narrative, cognitive habits, self reflection, emotional awareness, stress, resentment, frustration tolerance, patience, breathing, reset, spiritual growth, prayer, God’s sovereignty, trust in God, surrender to God, relationship with God, relationship with others, relationship with self, business life, work stress, communication, conflict, anger triggers, habits, discernment, Catholic spirituality, Catholic podcast

  2. Sep 22

    Father and Joe E480: Small Offenses, Clear Boundaries, and the Work of Repairing Relationships

    Forgiveness is not only tested in major betrayals. Often, relationships are strained by smaller offenses: the grass clippings blown onto the wrong lawn, the gas tank left empty, the repeated household habit that quietly becomes a source of resentment. In this episode, Joe Rockey and Father Boniface Hicks continue the conversation on forgiveness by focusing on the practical middle ground: what do we do when a boundary has been crossed, but the situation is not catastrophic? Father explains that the first step is recognizing the violation without immediately assuming the other person’s intention. A boundary may be crossed through malice, carelessness, forgetfulness, misunderstanding, or even by someone else entirely. If we rush straight to accusation, anger can distort the situation and damage the relationship further. But avoiding confrontation entirely also fails. Love requires enough courage to say, kindly and clearly, “This bothered me,” and then see whether apology, forgiveness, and reconciliation can begin. Joe highlights the importance of proportion and consistency. If every small offense is treated like a “nine or ten,” people eventually tune out—or stop trusting the emotional scale altogether. But if the “twos and threes” are never addressed, they build into larger wounds. Healthy relationships need a reliable way to name smaller harms, repair them, and move forward before resentment hardens. The episode also connects this pattern to our relationship with God. Venial sins matter because small compromises can accumulate when we stop confessing, repairing, and returning. The same is true in human relationships. Repair is not a sign that love failed; often, it is where love becomes stronger. Children, spouses, neighbors, friends, and communities all need room for failure, forgiveness, and reconciliation—because resilient relationships are built not by never breaking, but by learning how to repair. Key Ideas Small offenses matter because they can either be repaired early or build into deeper resentment.A crossed boundary does not automatically reveal the other person’s intention; avoid rushing to accusation.Confrontation can be loving when it is proportionate, clear, and rooted in the desire for reconciliation.Treating every issue like a crisis weakens trust; ignoring every issue also weakens trust.Repair can make relationships stronger, especially when apology, forgiveness, and consistency rebuild communion.Scripture Mentioned Venial sin and confession are discussed by theme; no specific passage is named.Links & References None explicitly referenced with a clear official/source link in this episode. CTA: If this helped, please leave a review or share this episode with a friend. Questions or thoughts? Email FatherAndJoe@gmail.com. Tags Father and Joe, Joe Rockey, Father Boniface Hicks, forgiveness, reconciliation, boundaries, small offenses, repairing relationships, relationship repair, healthy confrontation, proportionate response, consistency, trust, rebuilding trust, apology, asking forgiveness, offering forgiveness, resentment, anger, frustration, household conflict, marriage, married couples, parenting, children, neighbors, community life, grass clippings, snow shoveling, gas tank, toilet seat, communication, conflict resolution, venial sin, confession, sacrament of reconciliation, spiritual growth, humility, emotional self awareness, relationship with God, relationship with others, relationship with self, Catholic podcast, Catholic spirituality, mercy, love, communion, resilience, room for failure, unconditional love

  3. Sep 15

    Father and Joe E479: Forgiveness, Reconciliation, and Boundaries — How Love Rebuilds What Sin Breaks

    Forgiveness is one of the most important parts of Christian life—and one of the easiest to misunderstand. Joe Rockey and Father Boniface Hicks begin with the big picture: Jesus’ mission is a mission of forgiveness, and the whole Christian life is built around receiving that mercy and learning to extend it to others. But forgiveness does not mean pretending nothing happened, removing every boundary, or forcing reconciliation where trust has not been rebuilt. Father makes a crucial distinction: **forgiveness can be one-sided; reconciliation requires both parties.** God is already turned toward us in mercy. He remains faithful, opens the door, and offers forgiveness—but reconciliation happens when we respond and return to Him. The same pattern matters in human relationships. Forgiveness is a personal decision toward another person; reconciliation is mutual repair, rebuilt trust, and a relationship that can move forward in truth. The conversation then connects forgiveness to boundaries. God gives the universal moral law—the Ten Commandments and the call to love—as the broad foundation. Communities, families, marriages, monasteries, neighborhoods, and friendships also develop particular boundaries that help people live together well. When those boundaries are violated, whether gravely or in smaller daily ways, love requires honesty: acknowledge the harm, ask forgiveness, offer forgiveness, and rebuild trust with consistency. Joe brings the episode into daily life with a practical challenge: examine your boundaries. Are they rooted in holiness, love, and the good of others—or only in personal preference, frustration, or convenience? Healthy boundaries are not opposed to forgiveness. They help create the conditions where forgiveness can become reconciliation, where relationships with self, others, and God can be repaired, strengthened, and made more whole. **Key Ideas** * Jesus’ mission is centered on forgiveness, and the Eucharist and confession keep that mystery at the heart of the Church. * Forgiveness and reconciliation are related but not identical: forgiveness can be one-sided; reconciliation requires both parties. * God’s forgiveness is already offered; reconciliation with Him requires our response, repentance, and return. * Boundaries begin with God’s moral law, then extend into agreed community, family, and personal expectations. * Consistency matters: trust is rebuilt when people understand the boundary, respect it, and repair what has been broken. **Scripture Mentioned** * The Our Father / “forgive us our trespasses…” * Matthew 6 — forgiving others and receiving forgiveness * Parable of the unforgiving servant * “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” * The Last Supper / chalice poured out “for the forgiveness of sins” * The Ten Commandments **Links & References** None explicitly referenced with a clear official/source link in this episode. **CTA:** If this helped, please leave a review or share this episode with a friend. Questions or thoughts? Email [FatherAndJoe@gmail.com](mailto:FatherAndJoe@gmail.com). ### Tags Father and Joe, Joe Rockey, Father Boniface Hicks, forgiveness, reconciliation, boundaries, healthy boundaries, Catholic forgiveness, sacrament of reconciliation, confession, penance, mercy, God’s mercy, Jesus’ mission, Eucharist, Last Supper, forgiveness of sins, Our Father, Matthew 6, unforgiving servant, Father forgive them, Ten Commandments, moral law, natural law, holiness, perfection of love, sin, missing the mark, trust, rebuilding trust, repentance, apology, human relationships, marriage, family life, friendship, community life, monastic life, grand silence, consistency, love, common good, relationship with God, relationship with others, relationship with self, spiritual growth, Catholic podcast

  4. Sep 8

    Father and Joe E478: Where God Meets You — Miracles, Personality, and the Challenge You Keep Avoiding

    God reaches people in different ways: miracles, Scripture, prayer, relationships, suffering, responsibility, and the ordinary events of life. But Joe Rockey and Father Boniface Hicks caution against turning those different encounters into a ranking system—as if one person’s miracle is automatically “better” than another person’s quiet conversion. The goal is not comparison. The goal is relationship with God. Father explains that everything is equally easy for God, so our human scale of “harder” and “more impressive” does not apply cleanly to divine action. Raising Lazarus, healing a blind man, teaching through a parable, speaking through prayer, or working through a friendship can all serve the same purpose: inviting the person into trust, surrender, vulnerability, and love. The external event matters, but the deeper question is what happens inside the person who receives it. The conversation then turns toward personality and holiness. Each person has a different point of resistance—surrender, trust, vulnerability, receiving love, giving love, letting go of control, or facing a weakness that has been quietly avoided for years. Joe reflects on how this applies in business, marriage, family, and friendship: some tasks can be delegated, but personal self-gift cannot. No one else can love your wife for you, surrender your will for you, or receive God’s love in your place. The practical invitation is to stop driving “three miles around” the very place where God may be trying to meet you. Look honestly at the recurring challenge in your life, especially the one your personality most wants to avoid. That may be the place where Jesus is inviting you into the next stage of healing, courage, and deeper relationship. Key Ideas God reaches different people in different ways; the point is not comparison but relationship.Miracles, words, prayer, events, and relationships can all become invitations into trust and surrender.The same external event can produce very different interior responses depending on the person.Personality often reveals the specific place where holiness will be hardest—and most necessary.Some responsibilities can be delegated, but love, surrender, vulnerability, and receiving love cannot.Scripture Mentioned Lazarus raised from the deadJesus healing the blindJesus teaching through parablesJesus cleansing the TempleLinks & References None explicitly referenced with a clear official/source link in this episode. CTA: If this helped, please leave a review or share this episode with a friend. Questions or thoughts? Email FatherAndJoe@gmail.com. Tags Father and Joe, Joe Rockey, Father Boniface Hicks, God meets you, miracles, relationship with God, relationship with others, relationship with self, surrender, trust, vulnerability, receiving love, giving love, holiness, personality, personality types, spiritual growth, self knowledge, interior life, conversion, ongoing conversion, discernment, prayer, Scripture, Lazarus, healing miracles, parables, cleansing of the Temple, Saint Therese, trust in Jesus, avoiding weakness, control, letting go, delegation, business, marriage, family life, friendship, teamwork, community, human relationships, Catholic spirituality, Catholic podcast, courage, humility, self gift, love, God’s invitation, grace, sanctification

  5. Sep 1

    Father and Joe E477: Did Jesus “Grow” in His Mission? — Fully God, Fully Man, and the Universal Call of Salvation

    Sometimes the Gospels raise questions that feel dangerous to ask: if Jesus is fully God and fully man, how can Scripture also show Him growing, developing, responding, and acting within a specific mission? Joe Rockey brings that tension directly to Father Boniface Hicks through examples like the wedding at Cana, the Canaanite woman, the cleansing of the Temple, and Jesus’ outreach beyond Israel. The result is a careful conversation about Christ’s humanity, His divinity, and how God’s universal plan unfolds through particular people, places, and relationships. Father explains that Jesus’ mission is universal in its final purpose—He desires the salvation of the whole world—but proximate in its historical method. Jesus ministers first to the lost sheep of the house of Israel, forms the apostles, fulfills the covenant, and then sends the Church outward to the Gentiles. The apostles themselves had to grow into that understanding, especially through Peter, Cornelius, the Holy Spirit, and the early Church’s discernment. The conversation also turns practical: every Christian has a mission field. The whole world matters, but most of us serve the whole by loving, teaching, witnessing, and evangelizing the people directly entrusted to us—family, parish, workplace, friends, and the communities God places before us. Father’s own mission field as a parish priest becomes one example of how a specific assignment participates in the broader mission of Christ. Finally, Joe and Father discuss how to read Scripture faithfully. The Gospels are not distortions of Jesus; they are true witness, written by human authors under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes the Holy Spirit preserves details whose full meaning becomes clearer later, like “Easter eggs” in salvation history. Jesus truly grows in His humanity, while His divine mission remains ordered by the Father from the beginning. **Key Ideas** * Jesus is fully God and fully man; His humanity truly develops without His divine mission being confused or incomplete. * Jesus’ mission is universal in purpose, but historically begins with Israel and then extends through the Church to the Gentiles. * The Canaanite woman reveals faith and order: the children first, then the household pets—not rejection, but mission unfolding. * Every Christian has a mission field: not everyone all at once, but the people God actually places before us. * Scripture is written through real human authors, but the Holy Spirit is the primary author guiding the deeper unity of salvation history. **Scripture Mentioned** * Wedding at Cana * The Canaanite woman / “lost sheep of the house of Israel” * Cleansing of the Temple / courtyard of the Gentiles * Peter and Cornelius * Council of Jerusalem * The centurion / “Lord, I am not worthy” * Luke 2:51–52 — Jesus growing in wisdom and grace * Moses’ staff and the hyssop branch at the Crucifixion **Links & References** None explicitly referenced with a clear official/source link in this episode. **CTA:** If this helped, please leave a review or share this episode with a friend. Questions or thoughts? Email [FatherAndJoe@gmail.com](mailto:FatherAndJoe@gmail.com). ### Tags Father and Joe, Joe Rockey, Father Boniface Hicks, Jesus Christ, fully God fully man, Incarnation, humanity of Jesus, divinity of Jesus, mission of Jesus, universal salvation, Israel, Gentiles, Canaanite woman, lost sheep of Israel, wedding at Cana, Mary, do whatever he tells you, cleansing of the Temple, courtyard of the Gentiles, Peter and Cornelius, Council of Jerusalem, centurion, Lord I am not worthy, Luke 2, Jesus grew in wisdom, Holy Spirit, inspiration of Scripture, Gospel writers, salvation history, Old Testament, New Testament, Moses, Moses’ staff, hyssop, covenant, chosen people, evangelization, mission field, parish mission, family mission, Catholic faith, relationship with God, relationship with others, relationship with self, discernment, Scripture study, Catholic podcast, Christology, faith questions, asking hard questions

  6. Aug 25

    Father and Joe E476: Spiritual Desolation — Don’t Make Permanent Decisions in Spiritual Darkness

    Most episodes of Father and Joe assume that we are either in a good spiritual place or at least trying to move toward one. But what happens when we are not? What happens when prayer feels empty, hope feels thin, God feels distant, and the temptation is to quit, change everything, or decide that we have failed? Joe Rockey and Father Boniface Hicks use the wisdom of **Saint Ignatius of Loyola** to explore spiritual desolation: the heaviness of spirit that can bring darkness, sadness, tepidity, lack of faith, lack of hope, lack of love, and the feeling of being separated from God. Father is careful to distinguish spiritual desolation from an ordinary low mood. Desolation is spiritual in character, and it affects how we interpret God, ourselves, and the decisions in front of us. The central warning is practical: do not make major spiritual changes while in desolation. Just as it is unwise to hire or fire someone from a place of panic or heaviness, it is dangerous to make permanent spiritual decisions when our interior state is clouded. In consolation, we see more clearly. In desolation, the enemy can distort our thoughts and make discouragement feel like truth. But desolation is not proof that we are failing. It may reveal a bad choice or a neglected habit, but it is also a normal part of the spiritual life. God can allow it to purify us, humble us, increase our dependence on Him, and teach us that we cannot manufacture grace by ourselves. The response is not shame. The response is awareness, perseverance, prayer, examination, and small acts of resistance: stay in prayer a little longer, return to the habits you know are good, take care of the body, and remember that consolation is often closer than it feels. **Key Ideas** * Spiritual desolation is a real part of the spiritual life; it is not automatically a sign that you are failing. * Do not make major spiritual changes or permanent decisions while in darkness, discouragement, or heaviness. * Desolation can include lack of faith, hope, love, joy, energy, or a false feeling of separation from God. * God may allow desolation to increase humility, dependence, perseverance, and deeper trust. * Practical resistance matters: pray, examine what happened, care for your body, and hold on with sufficient grace. **Links & References** None explicitly referenced with a clear official/source link in this episode. **CTA:** If this helped, please leave a review or share this episode with a friend. Questions or thoughts? Email [FatherAndJoe@gmail.com](mailto:FatherAndJoe@gmail.com). ### Tags Father and Joe, Joe Rockey, Father Boniface Hicks, spiritual desolation, spiritual consolation, Saint Ignatius of Loyola, Ignatian spirituality, discernment, discernment of spirits, prayer, perseverance, hope, faith, love, discouragement, spiritual darkness, feeling separated from God, consolation is around the corner, sufficient grace, abiding grace, humility, dependence on God, examination, examen, interior life, self awareness, spiritual habits, daily prayer, temptation, enemy, trust in God, low mood, spiritual heaviness, do not give up, Catholic spirituality, Catholic podcast, relationship with God, relationship with self, relationship with others, fear, sadness, tepidity, spiritual growth, prudence, decision making, grace, endurance, God’s will

  7. Aug 18

    Father and Joe E475: When Things Line Up — Meaning, Providence, and Seeing God’s Hand Without Becoming Superstitious

    Sometimes life feels fragmented, random, and exhausting. Other times, after months or years of effort, things suddenly begin to line up in a way that feels meaningful. In this episode, Joe Rockey and Father Boniface Hicks explore that experience through the lens of faith: how to notice meaning in our lives without falling into superstition, oversimplification, or the false idea that good behavior always produces easy outcomes. Father explains that seeing meaning in the sequence of events already sets the believer apart. If everything is random, there is no deeper story to discover. But Christianity begins with the Logos—the Word, reason, meaning, and order through whom all things were made. That does not mean every faithful choice immediately produces health, wealth, success, or comfort. It means that God is good, that creation has meaning, and that even difficulty can play a role in our purification, humility, surrender, and growth. Joe connects this to work, leadership, marriage, family, and group dynamics. Success is not measured the same way for every person, and motivations change throughout life. That makes discernment difficult, especially when leading people with different desires and definitions of “doing well.” But one through-line remains: choices that build relationship, love, service, and human flourishing tend to reinforce the story God is forming in us. Choices rooted in selfishness, control, or tearing down relationships tend to move us away from that story. The practical takeaway is not “keep doing the exact same tactic forever.” It is deeper than that: stick with God, stick with the faith, and keep discerning the next right shift. When something is not working, the Christian response is not panic or desperation. It is to step back and ask: *Where is God drawing me? What direction is He pointing me toward now?* **Key Ideas** * Seeing meaning in life’s events is an act of faith, not automatically superstition. * Christianity rejects a simplistic “health and wealth” equation where good behavior always produces easy outcomes. * God’s providence includes both blessings and hardships; both can serve our growth and flourishing. * Success looks different for different people, but love, relationship, and human flourishing remain central measures. * “Sticking with it” means staying faithful to God—not refusing to adjust tactics, decisions, or direction. **Scripture Mentioned** * John 1:1–3 — the Word/Logos through whom all things were made * Romans 8:28 — God working all things for good * The parable of the wicked tenants * Faith and the mountain / faith that moves mountains **Links & References** None explicitly referenced with a clear official/source link in this episode. **CTA:** If this helped, please leave a review or share this episode with a friend. Questions or thoughts? Email [FatherAndJoe@gmail.com](mailto:FatherAndJoe@gmail.com). ### Tags Father and Joe, Joe Rockey, Father Boniface Hicks, providence, meaning, God’s hand, discernment, faith and meaning, Logos, Word of God, John 1, Romans 8:28, faith moves mountains, parable of the wicked tenants, health and wealth gospel, prosperity gospel, superstition, hope, human flourishing, relationship with God, relationship with others, relationship with self, purpose, vocation, work, business, leadership, marriage, fatherhood, family life, decision making, prayerful decisions, trust in God, surrender, humility, purification, spiritual growth, staying faithful, changing tactics, God’s will, Catholic podcast, Christian life, perseverance, hope in difficulty, meaning in suffering

  8. Aug 11

    Father and Joe E474: Loaves, Fishes, and the Eucharist — Receiving All of Jesus Without Fear

    The miracle of the loaves and fishes is often heard as a story of abundance: Jesus takes what is limited, blesses it, and feeds the crowd. But Joe Rockey asks a more personal question: What if I were actually there with my family? Would I trust enough to receive, or would I hold back because I could see how many people were still waiting behind me? That question opens a deeper reflection on faith, fear, scarcity, and the way we receive God’s gifts. Father Boniface Hicks connects the miracle directly to the Eucharist. At Mass, Jesus does not give some people “more Jesus” and others “less Jesus.” Even when Father tells a parish story about running low on hosts and needing to divide them, the reality remains the same: each person receives the whole Christ. The limitation is not in Jesus’ gift, but in the capacity of our hearts to receive Him. The conversation also connects the loaves and fishes to manna in the desert. God provided enough each day, yet the Israelites still struggled with trust, routine, and weariness. The same can happen to us. Even the greatest miracle can become ordinary if we stop paying attention. The Christian life asks us to keep opening our hearts: not taking God for granted, not shrinking back from fear, and not limiting what Jesus wants to do in our lives. The invitation is simple but demanding: give God permission to be more present. Let go of the narrow spaces we protect for comfort, control, and self-preservation. Whether in parish life, family life, work, or prayer, the path of faith is learning to receive more fully, surrender more honestly, and love more perfectly through Christ. Key Ideas The loaves and fishes invite us to examine whether we receive God’s abundance with trust or hesitation.The Eucharist is not divided by amount: every communicant receives the whole Christ.The miracle of manna shows that even daily miracles can become routine when gratitude fades.Our fear, comfort, and need for control can limit how fully we receive what God offers.Giving Jesus more permission in our lives opens the path to deeper love, mission, and interior freedom.Scripture Mentioned The miracle of the loaves and fishesManna in the desertBook of WisdomLinks & References None explicitly referenced with a clear official/source link in this episode. CTA: If this helped, please leave a review or share this episode with a friend. Questions or thoughts? Email FatherAndJoe@gmail.com. Tags Father and Joe, Joe Rockey, Father Boniface Hicks, loaves and fishes, multiplication of loaves, Eucharist, Mass, Holy Communion, real presence, receiving Jesus, abundance, scarcity mindset, trust in God, manna in the desert, Book of Wisdom, gratitude, routine, spiritual complacency, daily miracles, first Mass, last Mass, only Mass, parish life, Catholic faith, Catholic podcast, surrender, permission to God, dying to self, comfort, fear, generosity, love, perfect love, family life, mission, discipleship, relationship with God, relationship with others, relationship with self, spiritual growth, interior freedom, Jesus gives himself fully

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About

Father and Joe is a podcast series of a continuing conversation about struggles and successes of being close to God. Father Boniface provides spiritual direction through problems of daily life. According to statistics of the average American's church habits - We went to church when we were forced to but somewhere along the way, we drifted away. The ultimate goal of this podcast is to help us get back to church, regardless of what faith you hold, and create a stronger union with God.

Information

  • Creator
    Father Boniface Hicks and Joseph Rockey Jr
  • Years Active
    2017 - 2026
  • Episodes
    483
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Father and Joe
  • Show Website
    Father and Joe

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