Mental State: Straight talk about all things mental health and more

Mary Barbour, LMFT
  • 4.7 (27)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Bimonthly

Welcome to a podcast all about real conversations on mental health. Each episode dives into the messy, meaningful, and often misunderstood world of emotional well-being—with expert insights, personal stories, and practical tools for everyday life. Hosted by Mary Barbour, a therapist in Los Angeles, this show features guest interviews with therapists, healers, advocates, and everyday people navigating topics like anxiety, trauma, relationships, identity, burnout, and more. Whether you’re a mental health professional, someone in the thick of healing, or just curious about what makes us tick—you’re in the right place. https://www.marybtherapy.com Disclaimer: This information is for educational purposes only; it solely provides self-help tools for your use. This podcast is not providing health care or psychological therapy services and is not diagnosing or treating any physical or mental ailment of the mind or body. The content is not a substitute for therapy or any advice given by a licensed psychologist or other licensed or registered professionals.

  1. Jul 14

    Rediscovering Your Self Worth Part 3

    Mary Barbour hosts Dawna Daigneult on the final episode of a three-part series on Daigneult’s worth conscious theory, reviewing birthright self-worth, false selves, and how therapy can nurture disowned “parts” with permission, compassion, and integrative approaches like transactional analysis and overlaps with IFS. Dawna explains worth-affirming “building blocks” that honor lived truth across development, including respecting a child’s voice while providing structure, illustrated by a parenting example about eating peas. She introduces the “yes and no knot,” formed when a child’s internal yes meets contradictory caregiver no’s (e.g., being told feelings are allowed but punished for expressing them), leading to impaired relationships and sometimes personality disorder dynamics. They discuss untangling knots without villainizing parents by recognizing intergenerational limits and universal worth, and suggest a practice of recalling an early felt memory of worth, such as Dawna's grandmother brushing her hair, ending with a reflection on where one still tries to earn conditional worth.   Learn more about Mary and her therapy practice here: https://marybtherapy.com   Learn more about Dawna here: https://zestoflife.com/   Buy Dawna's Book here: https://www.amazon.com/Understanding-Self-Worth-Worth-Conscious-Psychotherapeutic-Practice-ebook/dp/B0F9TR71FS?ref_=ast_author_mpb   This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, medical care, mental health treatment, legal advice, or individualized professional support. The conversations shared here are intended to explore ideas related to mental health, trauma, relationships, healing, and personal growth. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship with me, my guests, or any clinician mentioned on the show. If you are experiencing emotional distress, a mental health crisis, or thoughts of harming yourself or someone else, please call 988 in the United States, go to your nearest emergency room, or contact a licensed mental health professional in your area. Please use your own judgment and consult with an appropriate professional before applying anything discussed on this podcast to your personal life, health, relationships, or treatment decisions.

  2. Jul 7

    Rediscovering your Self Worth Part 2

    Mary Barbour continues a conversation with Dawna Daigneult about Worth Conscious Theory, focusing on how birthright self-worth becomes buried under layered family conditions and injunctions, leading some people to build fragile false selves and pursue “counterfeit” goals that serve family values rather than personal truth (e.g., a child pressured to stay in TaeKwonDo to be a “winner”). Donna explains how clients often feel humiliation and relief when realizing they built on the wrong foundation, and she uses imagery, somatic awareness, and reframing to replace heavy, conditional beliefs (e.g., “I have to be thin to be beautiful”) with lighter, worth-based alternatives. She introduces the “conscious moment technique,” adapted from Russ Harris’ ACT “choice point,” to help clients notice moments they default to self-consciousness and practice worth-conscious internal dialogue, including empowering the “inner child” to talk back to an internalized critical voice.   Learn more about Mary and her therapy practice here: https://marybtherapy.com   Learn more about Dawna here: https://zestoflife.com/   Buy Dawna's Book here: https://www.amazon.com/Understanding-Self-Worth-Worth-Conscious-Psychotherapeutic-Practice-ebook/dp/B0F9TR71FS?ref_=ast_author_mpb   This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, medical care, mental health treatment, legal advice, or individualized professional support. The conversations shared here are intended to explore ideas related to mental health, trauma, relationships, healing, and personal growth. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship with me, my guests, or any clinician mentioned on the show. If you are experiencing emotional distress, a mental health crisis, or thoughts of harming yourself or someone else, please call 988 in the United States, go to your nearest emergency room, or contact a licensed mental health professional in your area. Please use your own judgment and consult with an appropriate professional before applying anything discussed on this podcast to your personal life, health, relationships, or treatment decisions.

  3. Jul 1

    Rediscovering Your Self Worth Part 1

    Part one of a three-part conversation features author and therapist Dawna Daigneault discussing her book, Understanding Self-Worth: A Guide to Worth-Conscious Theory and Psychotherapeutic Practice, and introducing “birthright self-worth,” the idea that worth is inherent from birth rather than earned. Dawna distinguishes self-worth from self-esteem, explains how family systems can condition worth through transactional acceptance, and connects self-worth needs to early survival needs, emphasizing that the “how” of meeting needs (e.g., attunement vs. apathy or anger) shapes worth. She expands Eric Berne’s parental injunctions into intrusive versus abusive forms (e.g., “Be someone I like”) and describes how children prioritize attachment over authenticity, influencing adult relationships. Dawna outlines four rebuildable pillars—awareness, self-respect, self-esteem, and self-confidence—and describes therapeutic strategies for gently identifying conditions, protecting worth, and reducing shame and self-loathing.   Learn more about Mary and her therapy practice here: https://marybtherapy.com   Learn more about Dawna here: https://zestoflife.com/   Buy Dawna's Book here: https://www.amazon.com/Understanding-Self-Worth-Worth-Conscious-Psychotherapeutic-Practice-ebook/dp/B0F9TR71FS?ref_=ast_author_mpb   This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, medical care, mental health treatment, legal advice, or individualized professional support. The conversations shared here are intended to explore ideas related to mental health, trauma, relationships, healing, and personal growth. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship with me, my guests, or any clinician mentioned on the show. If you are experiencing emotional distress, a mental health crisis, or thoughts of harming yourself or someone else, please call 988 in the United States, go to your nearest emergency room, or contact a licensed mental health professional in your area. Please use your own judgment and consult with an appropriate professional before applying anything discussed on this podcast to your personal life, health, relationships, or treatment decisions.

  4. May 16

    Exploring Toxic Relationships Part 3

    Breaking Toxic Relationship Cycles: Gabrielle Tattersall on Anxiety, Self-Worth, and Healing on the Mental State podcast. Mental health expert Mary Barbour interviews love and relationship coach Gabrielle Tattersall about her journey from chronic anxiety, depression, self-sabotage, and toxic relationships to building self-worth and healthy love. Gabrielle describes feeling “lost” in her twenties, believing at 28 it was too late to change and hoping a “Prince Charming” would rescue her. She traces her low self-worth to age 11 after classmates criticized her appearance, leading to obsession with external validation, an eating disorder, and later a boob job. She recounts early relationship abandonment at 17 and repeated short, intense relationships marked by disrespect, ghosting, and anxious-avoidant dynamics. A turning point came after discovering a partner’s messages to a prostitute, prompting radical responsibility, therapy and CBT, and a commitment to daily healing, emotional regulation, and choosing secure partners.  Find Gabrielle on all of her socials at @gabrielletattersall

  5. Apr 1

    Exploring Toxic Relationships Part 2

    Mary Barbour hosts Mental State with guest Gabrielle Tattersall, a love and relationship coach who shares how she broke decades of anxiety, self-sabotage, and toxic relationships. Gabrielle says she currently coaches women and describes her first major boundary: cutting off men quickly when she noticed inconsistency, game-playing, or disrespect. She explains that healing doesn’t stop toxic people from appearing, but helps you recognize misalignment, trust intuition, and choose peace over desperation. Gabrielle contrasts past relationships—exhausting, anxious, and performative—with her current partner’s calm consistency, acceptance, and support during hard times. They discuss generational messaging about women needing men and how increased awareness around mental health, narcissism, and gaslighting helps. For women stuck in cycles, Gabrielle advises seeking therapy or coaching and redirecting obsessive energy into self-focus through journaling, meditation, breathwork, organization, hobbies, and building a life they love. They also caution against obsessively consuming social media about toxic relationships and instead creating new neural pathways through inspiring interests. The episode teases a next installment with practical strategies, supportive networks, and steps to reclaim your life.

  6. Mar 24

    Exploring Toxic Relationships Part 1

    Breaking Toxic Relationship Cycles: Gabrielle Tattersall on Anxiety, Self-Worth, and Healing on the Mental State podcast. Mental health expert Mary Barbour interviews love and relationship coach Gabrielle Tattersall about her journey from chronic anxiety, depression, self-sabotage, and toxic relationships to building self-worth and healthy love. Gabrielle describes feeling “lost” in her twenties, believing at 28 it was too late to change and hoping a “Prince Charming” would rescue her. She traces her low self-worth to age 11 after classmates criticized her appearance, leading to obsession with external validation, an eating disorder, and later a boob job. She recounts early relationship abandonment at 17 and repeated short, intense relationships marked by disrespect, ghosting, and anxious-avoidant dynamics. A turning point came after discovering a partner’s messages to a prostitute, prompting radical responsibility, therapy and CBT, and a commitment to daily healing, emotional regulation, and choosing secure partners.  Find Gabrielle on all of her socials at @gabrielletattersall

  7. 11/22/2024

    Embracing the Holidays: Strategies for Surviving and Thriving

    Hosts Adam and Mary, both therapists, provide advice on setting realistic expectations, managing reactions, and creating exit strategies during family gatherings, especially when facing challenging relatives. They also suggest embracing solitude with self-care practices and forming new traditions, such as Friendsgiving, if one is unable to be with family. Additionally, tips for those working through the holidays or feeling lonely are shared, emphasizing proactive mental health care and community connection. The episode aims to offer practical guidance to enjoy the holidays while maintaining mental well-being.   DM or reach out for more info about working with us or media opportunities.  Visit Mary at marybtherapy and  @marybtherapy    and Adam at adamboardmanmft.com and @adamboardmanmft   Disclaimer: This information is for educational purposes only; it solely provides self-help tools for your use. This podcast does not provide health care or psychological therapy services and does not diagnose or treat any physical or mental ailment of the mind or body. The content is not a substitute for therapy or any advice given by a licensed psychologist or other licensed or registered professionals.

  8. 11/19/2024

    Book Report: The Mindful Athlete

    Mary Barbour and Adam Boardman discuss George Mumford's book 'The Mindful Athlete,' which connects mindfulness techniques with peak sports performance and personal growth. Mumford, a mindfulness coach for elite athletes like Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant, shares how mindfulness can manage stress, improve focus, and unlock full potential in sports and life. Adam, specializing in athlete mental health, finds the book a valuable, accessible resource for athletes. Both hosts share personal experiences with mindfulness and its practical applications, highlighting the book's relevance to broader aspects of life beyond sports. They recommend the book for its insights into performance psychology and mindfulness. DM or reach out for more info about working with us or media opportunities.  Visit Mary at marybtherapy and  @marybtherapy    and Adam at adamboardmanmft.com and @adamboardmanmft   Disclaimer: This information is for educational purposes only; it solely provides self-help tools for your use. This podcast does not provide health care or psychological therapy services and does not diagnose or treat any physical or mental ailment of the mind or body. The content is not a substitute for therapy or any advice given by a licensed psychologist or other licensed or registered professionals.

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4.7
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About

Welcome to a podcast all about real conversations on mental health. Each episode dives into the messy, meaningful, and often misunderstood world of emotional well-being—with expert insights, personal stories, and practical tools for everyday life. Hosted by Mary Barbour, a therapist in Los Angeles, this show features guest interviews with therapists, healers, advocates, and everyday people navigating topics like anxiety, trauma, relationships, identity, burnout, and more. Whether you’re a mental health professional, someone in the thick of healing, or just curious about what makes us tick—you’re in the right place. https://www.marybtherapy.com Disclaimer: This information is for educational purposes only; it solely provides self-help tools for your use. This podcast is not providing health care or psychological therapy services and is not diagnosing or treating any physical or mental ailment of the mind or body. The content is not a substitute for therapy or any advice given by a licensed psychologist or other licensed or registered professionals.

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