Normalizing Non-Monogamy - Personal Stories of Polyamory, Swinging, and Beyond

Emma and Fin
  • 4.6 (286)
  • Sexuality
  • Updated Weekly

Hi! We’re your hosts Emma and Fin! We’re a married couple in our late thirties and we’ve been exploring non-monogamy in different ways since nearly the beginning of our relationship more than twenty years ago. But, this podcast isn’t about us… We strongly believe there isn’t a “right way” to be non-monogamous or even that non-monogamy is better or more evolved than monogamy or any other relationship style. Every week we interview people from across the spectrums of gender, sexuality, and relationship style to learn from their incredible and powerful personal stories.  Each episode is a unique perspective and personal story… Pick one that sounds interesting and give it a listen! We hope that by sharing the amazing journeys of those who are redefining and pushing the limits of what’s possible in relationships that we can show people that they’re not alone and inspire us all to embrace our true selves so that, together, we can open minds and live authentically without shame.

  1. 9h ago

    Ep 463 - Kiki

    We’re thrilled to share this conversation with Kiki! She’s an Australian sexologist who’s spent more than a decade helping people explore sexuality, relationships, and pleasure while also breaking down stigma and shame. Join us as she shares her own journey of untangling shame and confusion around her desires, particularly her complicated relationship with arousal and cheating, and how discovering ethical non-monogamy helped her find a path toward greater honesty and understanding. Kiki also talks about the evolving relationship with her husband and how they’ve navigated opening and closing their relationship multiple times, renegotiating agreements, and finding a balance between meeting each other’s needs and honoring their individuality. Along the way, we explore the messy realities of honesty, boundaries, jealousy, and the difficult question of when full transparency helps—and when a little softening might be kinder. We hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we do. Kiki Maree is a queer-inclusive somatic sexologist and intimacy educator with over 14 years of experience, specializing in trauma-informed, somatic and science-backed approaches to desire, boundaries, kink and relationships. She is the author of four children's sex education books and founded an international training school in 2016, where she has trained aspiring sex coaches from around the world. She also spent a year in China teaching thousands of women about pleasure, desire and consent. Known for her engaging stage presence, critical thinking and compassionate approach, Kiki creates shame- and judgement-free spaces where people feel safe to explore sexuality, ask honest questions and have meaningful conversations. Learn more about all of Kiki's work on her website: www.yonilicious.com.au Check out the full show notes here. Come Join us at Relationship Recess April 9-11, 2027! Check out the Relationship Recess hype video! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt!   $10 Off - Online STI Testing

  2. Oct 21

    Ep 462 - Liz

    We’ve known Dr. Liz for nearly a decade, and we’re so excited to finally have them on the podcast! We have a powerful conversation about their lifelong journey of navigating the tension between who they were expected to be and what felt truly authentic to them. From following the conventional path of marriage to embracing solo polyamory, Liz shares how they’ve learned to honor their own needs and build deep, meaningful relationships outside traditional relationship scripts. Along the way, they share so much wisdom about accepting people as they are, recognizing when a connection isn’t the right fit, and navigating relationships within community with care and compassion. It’s a beautiful conversation about creating a life rich with connection, friendship, and joy while approaching ourselves and others with greater kindness, respect, and grace. Dr. Liz believes that great sex can change the world. They are the author of Building Open Relationships, a sex educator, podcast host, and licensed psychologist (CA 27871, OR 3068) specializing in queer, kinky, and non-monogamous relationships. Dr. Liz has helped folks of all kinds become more confident in who they are and communicate more effectively with their partners. You can learn more about Dr. Liz and all of their work on their website: drlizpowell.com Check out the full show notes here. Come Join us at Relationship Recess April 9-11, 2027! Check out the Relationship Recess hype video! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt!   $10 Off - Online STI Testing

  3. Oct 14

    Ep 461 - Rainy + Paco: Round 2

    It’s been four years since we first talked with Rainy and Paco way back on Episode 262. They’re back today with an update about how their relationship and approach to non-monogamy has evolved and what it’s meant to more fully embrace who they are. They talk about finding freedom in being fully themselves, building chosen family through deep friendships and shared experiences, and embracing their version of non-monogamy which doesn’t fit neatly under any one label. We also explore how ADHD, Autism, C-PTSD, OCD, and their different approaches to sexuality all shape the way they navigate non-monogamy and how they embrace explicit agreements and rules to approach everything as a team. These two are such a delight and this conversation is a beautiful and heartfelt look at the freedom that comes from knowing yourself, communicating openly, and creating relationships on your own terms. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

  4. Oct 7

    Ep 460 - Trixie

    In this episode, we talk with Trixie, a non-binary genderqueer sex educator, coach, and activist, about their journey to embracing polyamory and overcoming the shame and societal expectations that once made it difficult to express who they were. We explore their expansive approach to love and relationships, where partners, metamours, and deep friendships all have a place, and why honest communication and finding community have been so transformative along the way. We also talk about their gender liberation work, the importance of building inclusive spaces, and what it means to embrace all the ways we can love, connect, and show up authentically. Trixie Lamonte (Ariel) is a professional coach with an expertise in poly, sex, relationships, communication, desire, gender, sexuality, confidence, self-love, BDSM, transformation work, and radical expression. Trixie is a professional workshop facilitator, educator, writer, consultant, performer, public speaker, and ritualist. Trixie is also the founder of Gender Blender, a community dedicated to trans and nonbinary liberation and is proud to be poly, kinky, queer, and a gender rebel. Trixie is well known for hosting hot play parties, gogo dancing, MCing, and poly joy! For more information about all of Trixie's work check out www.polyexcellent.com. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

  5. Sep 30

    Ep 459 - Steve

    In this episode, we speak with Steve about life after a 25-year marriage and how seven years of dating and exploring relationships have changed the way he thinks about connection. He shares stories of friendships that became romantic and then returned to friendship, relationships that moved between exclusivity and openness, and the lessons he’s learned about being clear and intentional about what he wants. We talk about the possibilities, and challenges, of fluid relationships, including his current long-distance, non-monogamous relationship and his experience of briefly trying monogamy again before realizing how much pressure it placed on the relationship to become “everything.” Steve also reflects on his belief that relationships are kind of a “final frontier” for learning about ourselves, and his desire to explore that possibility without feeling bound by the societal scripts and expectations of the relationship escalator. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

  6. Sep 23

    Ep 458 - Victoria

    This week we talk with Victoria about her relationship history and the different paths that led her to non-monogamy, from early experiences with infidelity to exploring swinging and an open marriage with her ex-husband. She takes us through the complicated evolution of that relationship, including the challenges of secrecy, boundary-setting, and discovering her needs for affection, desire, and connection that weren’t being met. Since her marriage ended two years ago, Victoria has been on a journey of figuring out what kind of polyamory works best for her, learning new communication tools, and becoming more comfortable exploring relationships without feeling the need to seek permission. We also talk about her current solo poly life, non-hierarchical polyamory, anchor partners, jealousy, and the many things she continues to learn about herself along the way. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

  7. Sep 16

    Ep 457 - Forrest

    Forrest has been together with his wife, Joanne, for over 25 years, and about six years ago they decided to open their relationship after navigating mismatched libidos for much of their partnership. Throughout our conversation Forrest discusses how they’ve maintained a deep connection and intimacy throughout their relationship regardless of this mismatch. He also shares the impact of menopause on Joanne’s mental and physical health, along with the changes it brought to their sexual relationship, and the vulnerability and shame they both experienced as they explored non-monogamy while remaining deeply committed to their marriage. We also talk about how Forrest’s partners, Kathy and Annie, have grown to become an important part of their shared life and sources of love and support, particularly following Joanne’s diagnosis with a progressive neurodegenerative disease. This is a beautiful and incredibly moving conversation about love, commitment, chosen family, and what it means to keep showing up for each other through life’s biggest challenges. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

  8. Sep 9

    Ep 456 - Amanda (The Kink Consultant)

    This fascinating interview with Amanda is a bit kinkier than usual and it comes with a twist… Amanda and her partner are actually monogamous at the moment. Gasp! We have a wonderful conversation about her current 24/7 D/s relationship, how she and her partner practice bringing jealousy and possessiveness into the light, and their ongoing conversations about possibly opening their relationship. She also takes us through her journey of slowly and intentionally opening up previous relationships, how shame and secrecy around her kink shaped these early relationships, and she reflects on how our relationships can be exactly what we need at a certain point in our lives—and how even painful endings can create room for something new. Amanda Dames, aka The Kink Consultant, is a sexologist, Somatica® Certified Sex and Relationship Coach, podcast host, and former NYC Dominatrix specializing in kink, intimacy, and communication. Through coaching, education, media appearances, and her podcast The Kink Consultant, Amanda helps people explore desire without shame while making kink feel approachable, empowering, and rooted in consent, confidence, and connection. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

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About

Hi! We’re your hosts Emma and Fin! We’re a married couple in our late thirties and we’ve been exploring non-monogamy in different ways since nearly the beginning of our relationship more than twenty years ago. But, this podcast isn’t about us… We strongly believe there isn’t a “right way” to be non-monogamous or even that non-monogamy is better or more evolved than monogamy or any other relationship style. Every week we interview people from across the spectrums of gender, sexuality, and relationship style to learn from their incredible and powerful personal stories.  Each episode is a unique perspective and personal story… Pick one that sounds interesting and give it a listen! We hope that by sharing the amazing journeys of those who are redefining and pushing the limits of what’s possible in relationships that we can show people that they’re not alone and inspire us all to embrace our true selves so that, together, we can open minds and live authentically without shame.

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