What if some of the things you've spent your life believing were wrong with you are actually just evidence that your brain works differently? In this episode, Leanne Peterson introduces Victoria, the newest clinician at Upgrade Therapy Group, and the two have a wide-ranging conversation about trauma, EMDR, neurodivergence, self-understanding, and what it means to reclaim your sense of self. Victoria shares what drew her to therapy, why she specializes in trauma and EMDR, and what clients can expect when they begin EMDR treatment. They discuss how EMDR can help people process both major traumatic experiences and the smaller, cumulative experiences that can quietly shape the way we see ourselves. The conversation also explores the difference between understanding something intellectually and actually healing it. We can know exactly why we feel a certain way and still struggle to change how it feels. Sometimes healing requires less analyzing and more willingness to experience, acknowledge, and move through what is actually there. Leanne and Victoria also dive into neurodivergence and the ways that living in a world that isn't designed for your particular brain can create years of painful messages: I'm not good enough. I'm incapable. I'm too much. I'm doing something wrong. But what if the problem isn't that you're broken? What if you've simply been trying to use the wrong tools? From ADHD and autism assessments to dyslexia, masking, accommodations, and learning to understand your own needs, this conversation is ultimately about moving away from shame and toward self-knowledge, self-acceptance, and greater personal power. In this episode, you'll hear: Victoria's journey into therapy and her passion for trauma work What to expect during your first EMDR sessions Why EMDR often begins with preparation, resources, and building trust How quickly people may begin noticing shifts through EMDR The difference between single-incident trauma and complex trauma How "big T" and "little T" trauma can affect the way we see ourselves Why seemingly small experiences can accumulate and reinforce painful beliefs How trauma can become connected to beliefs like "I'm not good enough," "I'm helpless," or "I'm a loser" Why intellectualizing your emotions isn't the same thing as healing them The power of simply acknowledging that something hurt you Why minimizing your own experiences can keep you stuck What it means to increase your ability to tolerate discomfort How people-pleasing can cause us to abandon our own needs to keep other people comfortable Why reclaiming your power often begins with being willing to tell the truth about your experience How neurodivergent people can accumulate trauma from living in environments that aren't designed for their brains Why understanding your brain can replace shame with self-compassion The value of adult ADHD and autism assessments How a strengths-based approach to neurodivergence can change the way you see yourself Why accommodations aren't special treatment—they can be tools for helping you function in a way that works for your brain The connection between understanding our children and learning to reparent ourselves Why sometimes the goal isn't to fit yourself into the box, but to question whether the box was necessary in the first place At the heart of this conversation is a powerful idea: you may not need to become someone different. You may need to understand yourself better. When we stop judging ourselves for how we're wired, acknowledge what we've experienced, and learn what we actually need, we create room to live with more freedom—and to reclaim parts of ourselves that may have been buried under years of shame, masking, and trying to fit in.
