Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

Christian Parenting
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As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Each day brings wins, losses and valuable lessons. Pardon the Mess is a place where we discuss parenting and faith in a biblical, approachable and relatable way. We may cry and laugh while we learn and grow together in our beautiful mess. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

  1. My Virtual Mentor: Leaving a legacy with Jeff Henderson

    3D AGO

    My Virtual Mentor: Leaving a legacy with Jeff Henderson

    Legacy is something every family is building, whether intentionally or not. But in the middle of busy schedules and full lives, it can be easy to lose sight of what we’re actually passing down. In this month’s My Virtual Mentor episode, Jeff Henderson, author, pastor, and leader, shares wisdom on what it means to live and lead with legacy in mind. The conversation explores what truly matters at the end of our lives, the values we want to instill in our children, and how to be more intentional with the time we’ve been given. We talk about the tension between work and family, why choosing your family matters more than you think, and how everyday decisions shape the kind of legacy you leave behind. This episode is designed to not only encourage personal growth, but also spark meaningful conversations, with a mentor, spouse, or trusted friend, about the kind of life and family you want to build. If you’re just getting started - don’t miss the previous episodes: My Virtual Mentor: Why Mentorship MattersMy Virtual Mentor: Intimacy with GodMy Virtual Mentor: Personalities and TemperamentsMy Virtual Mentor: Stewardship & Generosity My Virtual Mentor: Time Management & Creating MarginMy Virtual Mentor: Identity in Christ (Part 1 and Part 2)My Virtual Mentor: Prioritizing Your Marriage  Chapters: 00:00 Reconnecting at Chick-fil-A Headquarters 05:01 Lessons on Leadership and Legacy from Truett Cathy 12:50 End-of-Life Perspectives: What Truly Matters 17:04 Navigating Parenting with Encouragement and Wisdom 18:20 The Weight of Words 22:14 Preparing for Impact 23:35 Defining Legacy and Values 28:01 Carrying on Family Traditions 34:20 Leadership and Influence in Parenting 37:43 A Prayer for Parents MY VIRTUAL MENTOR GUIDE (MARRIAGE) Scripture to memorize: Deuteronomy 6:5-7 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Scriptures for prayer and study: Psalm 78:4, Matthew 6:20-21, Psalm 103:17, Proverbs 29:18 Books for further study: Eat Mor Chikin: Inspire More People by Truett CathyChoosing to Cheat by Andy StanleyThe Legacy Life by David GreenDivine Disruption by Tony Evans and children Discussion questions: What do you want to pass down from your parents? What do you want your kids to say about you when your life is over?  What values matter most to you?  Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeo Resources from today’s show: Connect with Jeff HendersonWhat To Do Next by Jeff HendersonFOR by Jeff HendersonResources from Titus 2 MentoringOpen a LearningRX center Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube! Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    40 min
  2. Week 30: Salvation - the thief on the cross

    6D AGO

    Week 30: Salvation - the thief on the cross

    Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” (Luke 23:42–43) As Jesus was led to his crucifixion, he was surrounded by two men on crosses next to him, all three of them facing death. One man was mocking and doubting Jesus, but the other man turned to Jesus in his final moments and was promised eternity with Jesus. Although not much was shared in this interaction, the thief did proclaim Jesus was Lord. It’s a powerful reminder that it’s never too late to repent and accept Jesus. There is always hope; in fact, the Bible says that everyone who calls on his name will be saved (Romans 10:13). This story also reminds us that doing good works or earning our way to heaven is not what Jesus offered us; it is a free gift. As believing parents, our hope is that there is more distance between our kids’ salvation and their death than there was for the thief on the cross. We know that true peace, joy, and hope is found in following Jesus, and we want our kids to have that for a lifetime; we want them to experience a full life of faith. We want them to spend many years drawing others to faith. However, we must never count out a child that is full of sin and far from God. God is still reaching for them up until their last breath. This week, let’s pray that our kids accept the free gift of salvation and spend their lives following Jesus. Jesus, thank you for the gift of salvation. Lord, please draw __________ to you. Help them to understand what following you means, that there is nothing they can do to make you love them less or more, and that you give them the gift of peace on earth now and eternal life with you later. Amen. If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes.  Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses today Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    9 min
  3. Marriage reconciliation and restoration with Cheryl Scruggs

    MAR 26

    Marriage reconciliation and restoration with Cheryl Scruggs

    Marriage can be both deeply challenging and incredibly beautiful, and many couples experience seasons of disconnection along the way. In this episode, Cheryl Scruggs shares her powerful story of reconciliation after walking through divorce and finding her way back to her husband years later. Together, the conversation explores the realities of marriage, the slow drift that can happen over time, and the hope that restoration is possible, even after deep hurt. We talk about the importance of communication, the danger of letting resentment grow in silence, and the role of community in helping marriages stay healthy. There is also practical encouragement for women who want to be more intentional in their relationships and create space for honesty and healing. This episode is a reminder that while marriage takes work, it is also a place where God can bring growth, redemption, and renewed connection. Here are the verses she shared! Matthew 19:26 With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. Deuteronomy 8:2 (read full chapter too) Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. Chapters: 00:00 Navigating Life's Challenges 03:02 The Journey of Marriage Ministry 06:02 Crisis in Marriage: Recognizing the Signs 09:09 Building a Stronger Connection 11:59 The Importance of Vulnerability in Relationships 19:20 Navigating the Transition to Empty Nesting 22:02 The Importance of Nurturing Intimacy 24:34 Overcoming Disconnection in Marriage 27:32 The Role of Counseling in Strengthening Relationships 29:59 Practical Steps to Show Love and Respect 31:54 Finding Hope and Redemption in Marriage Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess  Courtney DeFeo Resources from today’s show: Connect with Cheryl and Jeff Thriving Beyond Belief - Cheryl’s podcast Thriving Beyond Belief - Cheryl’s newest book I Do Again - Jeff and Cheryl’s book Open a LearningRX center Sign up for Morning Minute Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    37 min
  4. Week 29: Let go of perfection - Martha

    MAR 23

    Week 29: Let go of perfection - Martha

    “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:41–42) Martha kind of gets a bad rap. In her story, Jesus and the disciples were staying at her home. Martha spent her time making food and busying herself to make her home hospitable, while her sister Mary sat at the feet of Jesus and listened to him. We all want to be Mary, choosing time with the Lord over the busyness of life (more on that in two weeks), but it’s important to remember that as disciples of Jesus we are called to sit and serve. In Martha’s case, it was all about priorities. Creating a hospitable home and serving others is important. In fact, Martha served Jesus and his disciples again at a dinner given in Jesus’s honor before Passover. But when it comes to serving others are we focused on Pinterest perfection or on making people feel comfortable and pointing to Jesus with our actions? It’s more about our attitude than our actions. Taking care of Jesus and his disciples was a good thing—but it seems as though Martha was seeking perfection. The truth is, seeking perfection is setting ourselves up for failure because it means we are depending more on ourselves than on Jesus. We can’t be perfect, only God is perfect. Today’s world looks like perfection and our kids are growing up right in the middle of it. But we can encourage them to keep their eyes on Jesus and serve him and others because it’s what’s in their hearts, not what makes them look best. This week, let’s pray that our kids can let go of any pressure for perfection and learn to rest in Jesus and his perfection. Let’s pray that when they are overwhelmed by the things of life they redirect their hearts toward the most important thing. Jesus, when __________ feels overwhelmed by the busyness of the world, help them to focus their heart back to you. Give them the peace to let go of perfection and expectation, and to rely on you instead. May they serve others out of a response to your love, not out of obligation, pride, or image. Amen. If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes.  Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses today Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    8 min
  5. Navigating Foster Care with Meredith Brock

    MAR 19

    Navigating Foster Care with Meredith Brock

    Foster care is a journey that holds both deep brokenness and incredible beauty. For many families, it can also feel overwhelming to know how to step in and support children from hard places. In this episode, Meredith Brock, CEO of Proverbs 31 Ministries and a foster and adoptive mom, shares insights from her family’s experience with foster care and how the journey has shaped her faith and motherhood. The conversation explores the realities of caring for vulnerable children, the tension of holding both joy and heartbreak, and the ways God often meets families in their most difficult moments. Together they talk about what it looks like to support children with hard stories, how foster care can refine and stretch a family’s faith, and why the church has such an important role in caring for these kids. It’s also a reminder that supporting the foster care system isn’t limited to becoming a foster parent. Whether through respite care, advocacy, or supporting families already in the system, there are meaningful ways we can all step in and help. 00:00 Introduction and Personal Background 05:53 The Call to Foster Care 11:57 The Importance of Community Support 17:58 Respite Care and Community Involvement 24:07 Personal Growth Through Foster Care Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess  Courtney DeFeo ORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOW Resources from today’s show: Connect with Meredith Connect with Proverbs 31 on Instagram Proverbs 31 Ministries Foster the Family  Open a LearningRX center Sign up for Morning Minute Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    36 min
  6. Week 28: Believe in miracles - Jairus

    MAR 16

    Week 28: Believe in miracles - Jairus

    But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26 ESV) Jairus was a synagogue leader and a man of status and faith. When his young daughter became deathly ill, he desperately fell at Jesus’s feet and pleaded for him to come and heal her. Jesus agreed, but on the way news reached them that Jairus’s daughter had died. The fellow leaders looked at Jairus and said, “Why bother the teacher anymore?” because she was already dead (Mark 5:35). But Jairus refused to believe death had the final word, and he put his hope in Jesus. When they arrived at the house, Jesus commanded the little girl to get up, and she did! “Why bother?” is a question filled with doubt, finality, and despair. Our world is hard and that makes people question the goodness of God. Why bother? How could God let bad things happen to good people? Where is God when things are this bad? Our kids will face those questions their entire lives. But Jesus does, indeed, have the final word. He told Jairus, “Don’t be afraid; just believe” (Mark 5:36), and he repeatedly tells us the same. We can show our kids how to put their whole faith in Jesus and how to trust him even when others say it’s too late, or too silly, or too difficult. God’s ability to perform miracles in our life has not changed, because he is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). We should find great hope in that! This week, let’s pray that our kids believe that God can do the impossible and have a faith that they hold onto even when the world says to them, “Why bother?” Jesus, I pray that __________ puts their hope in you. Give them a faith that believes in your possibilities. When things are hard, and the rest of the world says to give up or that faith is pointless, may they remember your promises and call on you for help. Help them to recall the miracles you have performed before and give them hope to see those miracles again. Amen. From blindness to healing with Kylie White If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes.  Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses today Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    15 min
  7. ADHD 101 - Tips to better support neurodivergent children with Dr. Kelly Cagle

    MAR 12

    ADHD 101 - Tips to better support neurodivergent children with Dr. Kelly Cagle

    Many families today are navigating life with neurodivergent children, from ADHD to dyslexia to autism, and it can feel overwhelming to know how to best support them. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Kelly Cagle, host of Parenting IQ, who has a passion for helping moms create refreshing rhythms at home. She shares personal stories, research-backed insight, and practical ways parents can better support kids with ADHD. One of my favorite parts of this conversation was her encouragement for parents to truly understand their kids, to see the unique and beautiful way their brains process the world. It can be tempting to try to force neurodivergent kids into more typical patterns of behavior, but when we learn how their brains work, we can lead with empathy and help set them up to thrive. I learned so much from this conversation, and I think it will really encourage parents walking this road. 00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Hosts 01:12 Personal and Professional Background of Dr. Kelly Cagle 03:05 Understanding ADHD: Definitions and Personal Experiences 05:30 Challenges in Traditional Education for ADHD Children 10:59 The Impact of Society and Genetics on ADHD 15:52 Navigating Parenting with ADHD: Systems and Support 19:06 Understanding Neurodiversity in Parenting 21:42 Homeschooling vs. Traditional Education 25:04 Navigating Diagnoses and Labels 30:43 Practical Strategies for Parents 32:00 The Journey of Writing a Book Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess  Courtney DeFeo ORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOW Resources from today’s show: Connect with Kelly Parenting IQ Podcast 7 Personal Systems to Lower Stress ADHD is awesome by Penn Holderness Sign up for Morning Minute Open a LearningRX center The Hunt for the Kraken Lives of Faith and Grace series Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    37 min
  8. Week 27: Generous - the boy with the fish

    MAR 9

    Week 27: Generous - the boy with the fish

    Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:20–31) One of the most talked about miracles of Jesus is his feeding five thousand people from five loaves of bread and two fish. Imagine being there, listening to Jesus powerfully preach with thousands of other people. It was lunchtime and everyone was hungry and cranky (hangry, if you will); the people needed to eat! But all there was to eat was a small basket of five loaves of bread and two fish from a little boy. That boy willingly offered up his small lunch to Jesus. He didn’t have enough, but what he had he gave to Jesus, trusting that he would use it for good. We don’t know what resources our kids will have when they grow up. No matter what they have, God calls them to be generous with it. God is in the business of multiplying. Whatever we have to offer God, he will multiply it. Whether that’s our financial resources, serving others, encouraging others, or spreading the gospel, he will take what we have capacity to give, and he will make it even more. This work requires trust and sacrifice from us; we have to give it away for God to use it. But it is not dependent on our efforts. It’s not our efforts or resources that will change lives and bring people to Jesus; it is God working through our efforts and resources. Let’s pray that our kids are generous with their resources and giftings so that God can work through them to expand his kingdom. Jesus, thank you for taking care of us. I pray that __________ will view their resources and gifts as a blessing from you and hold them loosely, knowing that if they offer them up to you, you will multiply them and bring more people to you. May they always remember that there are no small parts in God’s kingdom. Amen. If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes.  Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses today Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    9 min
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As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Each day brings wins, losses and valuable lessons. Pardon the Mess is a place where we discuss parenting and faith in a biblical, approachable and relatable way. We may cry and laugh while we learn and grow together in our beautiful mess. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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