Conversations About Everyday Pain

Dr. Ya-Ling Liou
  • 5.0 (6)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

These are frank and sometimes raw discussions with regular people just like you - sharing genuine experiences with aches and pains. Each episode is a uniquely crafted tapestry of pain, life and learning. Let these conversations about everyday pain shed light on your own situation. Let them entertain you and inspire you to see something lighthearted or poignant in the face of pain. Notice the thread of human connection and see that you are far from alone. Relief and resolution often starts with connection, understanding and validation. These people's stories will not only give you insight into the wide variety of solutions to pain. You'll also hear about the pitfalls along the way that, in some cases, led to larger life insights, realizations and nuggets of unassuming wisdom.

  1. Jun 23

    The Critic Pain Personality: when your self-awareness works against you

    Episode summary: Every pain personality carries an unspoken pattern into the clinical encounter — one that shapes how pain gets interpreted and whether anything in treatment actually leads to relief. In this episode, Dr. Ya-Ling focuses on the Critic: the self-punishing narrative that operates underneath the description, why it disrupts the Five S's of Better Pain Coping™ at the very first step, and what the Critic actually needs to redirect their awareness from judgment toward curiosity.   In this episode: ·        The three invisible patterns — Achiever, Protector, Critic — and how each one shapes a clinical encounter before a word is spoken ·        How the Critic's self-punishing narrative operates underneath an otherwise accurate pain description — and why orthopedic testing results can be misleading as a result ·        Why self-critical mode and problem-solving mode are two different biological states — and how stress biology can be the determining factor between inflammation flare-up or cool-down ·        The difference between accountability and self-blame — and why the Critic often can't tell them apart ·        A practical perspective shift for separating the observation from the judgment ·        Why the Critic's awareness is a strength — and how redirecting it from judgment toward curiosity changes everything about what they can do next ·        The Five S's of Better Pain Coping™ as emotional intelligence for your body: See It, Support It, Specify, Study It, Strategize   Resources mentioned: ·        What's Your Pain Personality? Why some people push through while others pull back — and the Five S's that can prevent persistent pain — e-book + quiz ·        Quiz: ya-ling.com/quiz ·        Full book: ya-ling.com ·        Coming soon to Audible ·        Fix the Fire Damage: Your go-to guide when pain first strikes — Vol. 2, The Everyday Pain Guide series — over 100 images, drawings, photos and diagrams ·        Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Indiebound ·        Free app coming soon — all action plans, accessible on your phone   Connect: Find Dr. Ya-Ling at ya-ling.com. Subscribe, share, or leave a rating or review — it'll help more people find the show who need it.

    10 min

  2. Jun 16

    The one thing I'd teach every kid this summer — and why it works for adults too

    Episode summary: Researchers call summer the "skill-installation window" — and Dr. Ya-Ling makes the case for what's worth installing in it. In this episode, she introduces the Five S's of Better Pain Coping™ as emotional intelligence for your body, walks through See It (the foundational first S) for kids and adults alike, and explains why each pain personality type — Achiever, Protector, and Critic — comes at noticing differently. She also introduces sportscasting as a practical technique for parents and names why generic advice like "just listen to your body" tends to miss the mark entirely.   In this episode: ·        The skill-installation window — what researchers at UVA found about summer and skill formation, and why that window is open right now ·        The Five S's of Better Pain Coping™ as EQ for the body: how the same principles that gave us a language for our emotions in the 1990s can now be applied to physical sensations ·        See It — the first of the Five S's: five minutes of noticing without analyzing, stressing, or asking Dr. Google ·        Why "just listen to your body" doesn't work — and what the culture of pain denial has to do with it ·        Sportscasting as a parenting technique for pain moments: what it is, where it comes from, and how to use it for yourself too ·        How the Achiever, Protector, and Critic pain personalities each experience See It differently — and why the Protector needs reassurance and objective information, not less noticing ·        Why See It is not generic mindfulness — what it actually is, and why it matters before pain hijacks your life   Resources mentioned: ·        What's Your Pain Personality? Why some people push through while others pull back — and the Five S's that can prevent persistent pain — e-book + quiz — ya-ling.com/quiz ·        Fix the Fire Damage: Your go-to guide when pain first strikes — Vol. 2, The Everyday Pain Guide series — Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Indiebound ·        Frontiers in Psychology (2026) — coping skills acquired during lower-pressure periods and executive function ·        University of Virginia — research on the summer skill-installation window ·        Janet Lansbury — childhood educator, author, and host of the podcast Unruffled (sportscasting technique, originally developed by infant specialist Magda Gerber)   Connect: Find Dr. Ya-Ling at ya-ling.com. Subscribe, share, or leave a rating or review — it genuinely helps more people find the show.

    13 min

  3. Jun 9

    When your situation needs a different lens

    EPISODE SUMMARY Sometimes the most important clinical decision isn't what treatment to try next — it's recognizing when the current approach has reached its limit. In this episode, Dr. Ya-Ling shares the story of a 70-year-old patient whose shoulder pain wasn't feeling or moving as expected, and what happened when she brought in a different perspective. The lesson extends well beyond the clinic: how do you read a signal that something isn't working — and what do you do with that information?   IN THIS EPISODE • The 70-year-old patient: rotator cuff-consistent pain, didn't respond at expected rate, referred, calcific deposit found, 80-90% pain relief after removal • Why 'something not feeling or moving the way it should' is information, not failure • How we reach for nearby, familiar explanations — our pet diagnoses — without considering what isn't yet on our radar • Pain literacy as a skill: receiving a body signal before labeling it • Why referring out is sometimes the most valuable thing a clinician can offer   RESOURCES MENTIONED Fix the Fire Damage (Vol. 2, The Everyday Pain Guide) What's Your Pain Personality? — e-book and quiz at ya-ling.com/quiz https://ya-ling.com/   CONNECT Find Dr. Ya-Ling at ya-ling.com. Subscribe, share, or leave a review — it helps more people decide if this show is for them.

    9 min

  4. Jun 2

    When your body is keeping score — and you don't even know it

    Episode summary: Most people assume pain arrives suddenly. But for a certain type of person, pain has often been accumulating quietly for weeks — or longer — before it crosses the threshold they know how to feel. In this episode, Dr. Ya-Ling shares the story of a current patient whose significant motor vehicle collision went largely unfelt until one morning she crumpled to the floor, and connects it to a landmark JAMA study that just confirmed what clinicians have been watching for decades: whole-person attention changes pain outcomes. In this episode: Why athletic backgrounds can quietly shift your pain threshold — and what that costs you after an injury The reason post-trauma symptoms often emerge weeks later, not immediately What the VA wHOPE trial (JAMA, April 2026) actually found — and what "whole-person care" means in practice The difference between the body part that hurts and the full picture behind it How understanding your pain personality is the starting point for making any strategy specific to you Resources mentioned: What's Your Pain Personality? (e-book + quiz) — ya-ling.com/quiz Fix the Fire Damage, The Everyday Pain Guide Vol 2 — ya-ling.com/books VA wHOPE Trial — published in JAMA, April 2026 ya-ling.com Connect: Find Dr. Ya-Ling at ya-ling.com. Subscribe, share, or leave a review — it helps more people find the show.

    9 min

  5. May 26

    My knee, my readers, and the "now what?" question

    Episode summary: The week What's Your Pain Personality? launched, Dr. Ya-Ling sprained her knee mid-treatment — and found herself living out exactly what the book is about. In this episode, she shares what grumpy compliance actually looks like in practice, what early readers are saying about the quiz and e-book, and what the "now what?" question really means for each pain personality. In this episode: The irony of a pain coping expert managing a pain flare-up during launch week — and what it actually looked like (spoiler: it wasn't zen) What readers are saying after taking the What's Your Pain Personality? quiz — including the reaction that mattered most What it looks like when the Protector personality works for you rather than against you The one question shift that changes everything: from "why does this keep happening?" to "what is my body specifically asking for right now?" What pain coaching is — and what it isn't Resources mentioned: What's Your Pain Personality? — e-book on Amazon: https://amzn.to/4a9RhFh Fix the Fire Damage (Vol. 2, The Everyday Pain Guide): https://amzn.to/4dGsCJl Pain Personality Quiz: https://ya-ling.com/quiz/ This week's Substack (the back tweak + the counterintuitive first response): https://dryalingliou.substack.com/p/when-my-back-went-out-this-week-i Coaching page + free 15-minute discovery call: https://ya-ling.com/pain-coaching/ Connect: Find Dr. Ya-Ling at ya-ling.com. Subscribe, share, or leave a review — it helps more people find the show.

    9 min

  6. May 19

    The voice in your head when pain shows up

    Episode summary: When pain arrives, almost nobody experiences it cleanly. There's an inner narrator that starts up at the same time — and what that narrator says shapes everything that happens next. In this episode, Dr. Ya-Ling walks through three patients she's working with right now whose inner voices fall along the three pain personalities: the Achiever, the Protector, and the Critic. The through-line: that voice isn't really yours to begin with, and once you can hear it as a pattern, it can change. In this episode: The fifteen-year-old athlete whose serious concussion and whiplash almost slipped past everyone because his complaints were filed under "he's joking again" The patient whose hip pain and frozen shoulder were being kept alive by how carefully she was holding herself — and how she found the line between productive discomfort and re-injury Dr. Ya-Ling's own three-week Achenbach syndrome bruise, and which voice was weighing in about it The long-time patient who realized her rehab exercises had quietly become a form of self-punishment The reframe: patterns we didn't choose, once we can hear them as patterns, can change Resources mentioned: This week's Substack — the full walkthrough of all three pain personalities, with what each one looks like, where it usually comes from, and what recognition makes possible: https://dryalingliou.substack.com/meet-the-three-pain-personalities The Pain Personality Quiz — now live: ya-ling.com/quiz What's Your Pain Personality? — Dr. Ya-Ling's new e-book, launching Sunday May 24, 2026 on Amazon. (Audiobook forthcoming.) Fix the Fire Damage (The Everyday Pain Guide Vol 2) — available on Amazon. Connect: Find Dr. Ya-Ling at ya-ling.com. Subscribe, share, or leave a review — it helps more people find the show.

    12 min

  7. May 12

    Why anxiety lives between your shoulder blades

    Episode summary: If your pain doesn't have an obvious structural cause, you might be asking the wrong question. In this episode, Dr. Ya-Ling draws on two patient stories from this week — both about what happens when the body holds a pattern the nervous system never had a chance to release. For anyone who has noticed their pain showing up in the same place, in the same kind of week, in the same kind of way. In this episode: Why tension between the shoulder blades often has less to do with structure and more to do with what the nervous system is holding A patient whose inherited idea of "good posture" was making things worse — and the three-part correction that actually helped The four fear postures (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) from Fix the Fire Damage, and what contrasting safety postures look like Why "what is my body doing wrong?" is the wrong question — and what to ask instead A beta quiz to help you start recognizing your own pattern Resources mentioned: Fix the Fire Damage — The Everyday Pain Guide, Vol 2. Section 3: "Fix Your Stress Biology" — the four fear postures and contrasting safety postures. Available on Amazon. Quiz (beta) — quiz.ya-ling.com. Take it and share your feedback before launch. ya-ling.com Connect: Find Dr. Ya-Ling at ya-ling.com. Subscribe, share, or leave a review — it helps more people dealing with pain find the show.

    7 min

  8. May 5

    The first hours after pain shows up — what most of us get wrong

    About this episode The moment right after a surprise injury is one of the worst moments to make decisions about your own care — and most of us don't know that until we're already in it. Dr. Ya-Ling walks through what actually happens in the first hours after a collision or sudden injury, why the biology works against us, and what to do before the window closes. In this episode Why stress chemistry from a collision makes it genuinely harder to think clearly — and why that's not a character flaw, it's biology The whiplash simmer: why acceleration-deceleration injuries can feel minor on the day and significantly worse by day twelve Why documenting what you're experiencing right after an injury is a nervous system tool, not just a legal one New research from Stanford and CU Boulder confirming that acute and chronic pain run on different brain circuits — and what that means for the early hours after pain strikes Resources mentioned Fix the Fire Damage — Volume 2 of The Everyday Pain Guide, the go-to reference for what to do the moment pain strikes: https://amzn.to/4n4mvD0 This week's Substack — "What new pain science is telling us about the moment pain strikes": https://dryalingliou.substack.com/p/what-new-pain-science-is-telling Elizabeth Lindquist, personal injury attorney: lindquistlaw.net Stanford study: Nature, April 2026 — chronic vs. acute pain brain circuits CU Boulder study: Journal of Neuroscience, April 2026 — chronic vs. acute pain brain circuits Connect with Dr. Ya-Ling Find everything at ya-ling.com — that's ya dash ling dot com. If today's episode was useful, subscribe, share it with someone who might need it, or leave a rating and review. It genuinely helps more people find the show.

    6 min
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5
out of 5
6 Ratings

About

These are frank and sometimes raw discussions with regular people just like you - sharing genuine experiences with aches and pains. Each episode is a uniquely crafted tapestry of pain, life and learning. Let these conversations about everyday pain shed light on your own situation. Let them entertain you and inspire you to see something lighthearted or poignant in the face of pain. Notice the thread of human connection and see that you are far from alone. Relief and resolution often starts with connection, understanding and validation. These people's stories will not only give you insight into the wide variety of solutions to pain. You'll also hear about the pitfalls along the way that, in some cases, led to larger life insights, realizations and nuggets of unassuming wisdom.

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Ya-Ling Liou
  • Years Active
    2018 - 2026
  • Episodes
    85
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Return to Health Press 2018-2025 | Return to Health, P.S.
  • Show Website
    Conversations About Everyday Pain