Encouragementology

Kendell Boysen

Weekly topics covering life‘s challenges with a positive spin and a new perspective. It‘s time to connect, learn, and grow!

  1. Flip the Record: Finding the B-Side Perspective

    2D AGO

    Flip the Record: Finding the B-Side Perspective

    SHOW NOTES Sometimes the biggest shift in understanding comes from simply looking at something from another angle. In this episode of Encouragementology, we explore the idea of the “B-side” — the perspective that often goes unheard when we become too certain about our first explanation. Like an old record with two sides, our thinking can get stuck replaying the same story. This conversation invites you to pause, question your assumptions, and discover how curiosity can open the door to deeper understanding in both personal and professional situations. Here is what we unpack together: Why our brains naturally settle on the first explanation we create How confirmation bias keeps us replaying the same mental “track” The difference between defending a perspective and expanding it Why disagreements often happen when people are standing on different sides of the same mountain How curiosity can turn conflict into discovery The power of asking the simple question, “What might I be missing?” How challenging long-held beliefs about ourselves can unlock new possibilities Why listening to another viewpoint does not weaken your position How flipping the record can reveal insights you might never have considered The role perspective plays in growth, relationships, and better decision-making CHALLENGE: This week, flip the record once before locking in your conclusion. When you catch yourself certain about a situation, pause and ask, “What might the B-side be?” Give yourself permission to consider another angle, not to abandon your perspective, but to expand it.   I Know YOU Can Do It! 🎶 Music that Moves the Message All original music featured in this episode—including the Encouragementology intro, outro, and interludes—was written and performed by Matt Martino. His work brings warmth and emotion to every episode.   Find more of Matt’s music here: MATT MARTINO Spotify iTunes Youtube

    30 min
  2. Stepping Forward or Staying Safe: The Psychology of Visibility

    FEB 28

    Stepping Forward or Staying Safe: The Psychology of Visibility

    SHOW NOTES: In this episode of Encouragementology, we explore the psychology of visibility and what drives some of us to step forward while others instinctively stay in the background. This is not about deciding which personality is better. It is about understanding your wiring, questioning your defaults, and learning how to stretch your range so your contribution aligns with who you are becoming. Here is what we unpack together: Why stepping forward and staying quiet are both strengths The difference between boldness driven by purpose and boldness driven by approval How quiet contribution can reflect wisdom, not weakness Whether you are choosing your role in a room or defaulting to it Signs you may be over-speaking or unintentionally holding back How to stretch your natural wiring without changing your personality The power of leaning in when you usually lean back The importance of leaning back when you usually rush forward Why visibility is not the goal, but meaningful contribution is How intentional flexibility creates growth and confidence CHALLENGE: This week, stretch your natural wiring by one intentional step. If you usually stay in the background, raise your hand once and let your voice be heard. If you usually step forward, pause once and create space for someone else to shine. Notice how it feels, not to judge it, but to learn from it. Small stretches build confidence, compassion, and clarity. I Know YOU Can Do It! 🎶 Music that Moves the Message All original music featured in this episode—including the Encouragementology intro, outro, and interludes—was written and performed by Matt Martino. His work brings warmth and emotion to every episode.   Find more of Matt’s music here: MATT MARTINO Spotify iTunes Youtube

    30 min
  3. The Four Agreements: Untangling the Stories You’ve Been Living By

    FEB 19

    The Four Agreements: Untangling the Stories You’ve Been Living By

    On this show… we’re taking a deep dive into The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and exploring how the quiet agreements you’ve made with yourself might be shaping your entire life. Have you ever reacted to something and later thought, “Why did that hit me so hard?” Or found yourself apologizing for something that wasn’t really yours to carry? Or maybe you’ve replayed a conversation in your mind for hours, dissecting tone, word choice, facial expressions, wondering what you did wrong. Sometimes it feels like we’re walking through life carrying invisible contracts. Rules we never consciously signed. Expectations we didn’t knowingly agree to. Promises we made somewhere along the way to be smaller, quieter, more agreeable… or maybe tougher, less emotional, more perfect. And the wild part? Most of these agreements weren’t even chosen by us. They were absorbed. Picked up in childhood. Handed down in classrooms. Reinforced in relationships. Whispered in moments when we were too young to question them. The Four Agreements sounds simple. Almost too simple. But simplicity has a way of cutting through noise. It has a way of revealing where we’ve complicated our lives by trying to manage everyone else’s thoughts, reactions, and expectations. Today, I want us to gently test the agreements we’re living by. The spoken ones. The unspoken ones. The ones that keep us over-apologizing, overthinking, over-functioning. Because here’s the truth: you are responsible for your thinking. But you are not responsible for someone else’s. CHALLENGE: When you feel the urge to take something personally, make an assumption, or blame yourself automatically, pause and ask, “Is this truly mine to carry?” Replace just one old belief with something kinder and more accurate. You don’t have to rewrite your entire story overnight. Just loosen one thread. I Know YOU Can Do It!   🎶 Music that Moves the Message All original music featured in this episode—including the Encouragementology intro, outro, and interludes—was written and performed by Matt Martino. His work brings warmth and emotion to every episode.   Find more of Matt’s music here: MATT MARTINO Spotify iTunes Youtube

    30 min
  4. Air and Light: Clearing Stagnation Without Forcing a Fix

    FEB 12

    Air and Light: Clearing Stagnation Without Forcing a Fix

    On this show…we’re exploring Air and Light: Clearing Stagnation Without Forcing a Fix, and why sometimes the spaces in our lives that feel overwhelming, forgotten, or beyond repair may not need a dramatic overhaul… they may just need a little air and light. Have you ever walked into a room that’s been closed up for years? The air feels thick. The smell is stale. The silence almost hums. You hesitate before stepping in, not because it’s dangerous, but because it feels untouched. Undisturbed. Like time stopped there. That’s exactly what we were facing with the basement of an old building we own. It hadn’t seen the light of day in more than fifty years. Fifty years of stillness. Dust layered like history. Corners that held who-knows-what. And as we stood there talking about what it would take to fix it, clean it, repair it… my father-in-law said something so simple it almost felt too easy. “It just needs a little air and light.” Air and light. Not a demolition plan. Not a complicated formula. Not a weekend of intense problem-solving. Just open the windows. Let it breathe. Let the sun in. And that sentence has stayed with me. Because how many areas of our lives feel like that basement? An old belief about ourselves. A past mistake. A relationship dynamic. A dream we shelved. Something that hasn’t seen the light of day in a long time. We assume if it feels heavy, we must attack it. Fix it. Force change. But what if the first step isn’t force? What if it’s exposure? CHALLENGE: This week, choose one area of your life that has felt stagnant and give it just a little air and light. Don’t fix it. Don’t overhaul it. Simply expose it. Say it out loud, write it down, or look at it honestly with fresh eyes. Open the window and let it breathe. I Know YOU Can Do It!   🎶 Music that Moves the Message All original music featured in this episode—including the Encouragementology intro, outro, and interludes—was written and performed by Matt Martino. His work brings warmth and emotion to every episode. Find more of Matt’s music here: MATT MARTINO Spotify iTunes Youtube

    30 min
  5. Reclaiming the Middle: Life Between Milestones

    FEB 5

    Reclaiming the Middle: Life Between Milestones

    SHOW NOTES: On this show… we’re talking about reclaiming the middle by exploring life between the milestones. What it means to stay engaged, motivated, and grounded when you’re no longer at the beginning but not yet at the finish. Have you ever noticed how much energy surrounds the start of something, and how much celebration shows up at the end, but how quiet it gets in between? KEY TAKEAWAYS: The middle is not a sign that something is wrong. It’s not proof that you’ve lost motivation, made a bad decision, or failed to follow through. It’s simply the part of the journey where effort becomes quieter and growth becomes less visible. We talked about how the middle drains us because feedback drops off. Because excitement fades. Because the work becomes repetitive. And because many of us try to carry this part with willpower alone. But we also talked about something more hopeful. The middle is where self-awareness matters more than intensity. Where support matters more than pressure. Where understanding how you are motivated can make all the difference. You don’t need to rush through the middle to prove your commitment. You don’t need to pretend it’s easy. And you don’t need to criticize yourself for feeling tired here. What you can do is check in instead of checking out. You can notice what feels heavy without assuming it means you should quit. You can adjust how you support yourself without abandoning the goal. You can stay engaged without demanding perfection. And maybe the most important thing to remember is this. Most of life is lived between milestones. Learning how to live well here doesn’t just help you finish things. It helps you trust yourself through the process. So if you’re in the middle right now, let that be okay. You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’re right where the deeper work happens. CHALLENGE: Stop treating the middle like something to survive and start treating it like something to understand. Take one honest check-in this week and ask yourself what you’re missing, what truly motivates you, and how you can support yourself instead of pushing harder. Stay engaged, stay curious, and trust that this part of the journey is shaping you in ways you can’t even see yet. I Know YOU Can Do It!   🎶 Music that Moves the Message All original music featured in this episode—including the Encouragementology intro, outro, and interludes—was written and performed by Matt Martino. His work brings warmth and emotion to every episode. Find more of Matt’s music here: MATT MARTINO Spotify iTunes Youtube

    30 min
  6. From Surface Chat to Soul Talk: How to Have Conversations That Matter

    JAN 29

    From Surface Chat to Soul Talk: How to Have Conversations That Matter

    SHOW NOTES: On this show… we’re talking about how to have conversations that matter by taking surface chat to soul talk:, and why so many of us are craving deeper connection in a world that talks constantly but listens very little. Have you ever walked away from a conversation that technically went fine… but somehow left you feeling empty? Like you exchanged words, updates, maybe even laughs, but nothing really landed? Picture this. You’re standing in line somewhere. Or sitting across from someone you know well. The conversation starts the way it always does. “How are you?” “Good. Busy.” “You?” “Same.” And just like that, the moment passes. We’re surrounded by conversation. Messages. Posts. Voice notes. Podcasts. Hot takes. Opinions flying everywhere. We know what people ate for lunch, where they went on vacation, and how they feel about the latest headline. Social media gives us the illusion that we already know everything about everyone, so why ask more? But our souls know better. Because knowing about someone isn’t the same as knowing someone. There’s a quiet ache that shows up when conversations skim the surface too long. It’s not dramatic. It’s subtle. A sense that something meaningful was possible, but was never quite invited into the room. And here’s the thing. This isn’t about forcing depth. It’s not about cornering someone with heavy questions or turning every interaction into a therapy session. It’s about learning how to notice moments where a conversation could go one layer deeper… and having the courage and curiosity to gently open that door. CHALLENGE: Take one ordinary conversation this week and choose presence over pace. Ask one question that invites reflection, stay with the pause instead of rushing past it, and leave the chair open for something real to emerge.    I Know YOU Can Do It!   🎶 Music that Moves the Message All original music featured in this episode—including the Encouragementology intro, outro, and interludes—was written and performed by Matt Martino. His work brings warmth and emotion to every episode.   Find more of Matt’s music here: MATT MARTINO Spotify iTunes Youtube

    30 min
  7. Building Resilience When Life Feels Hard

    JAN 23

    Building Resilience When Life Feels Hard

    SHOW NOTES: On this show… we’re talking about building resilience when life feels hard, not as a mindset shift or a motivational push, but as the quiet practice of continuing on when you don’t feel especially strong or inspired. Have you ever found yourself in a season where everything feels heavier than it should? Not necessarily falling apart… just harder than normal. Where getting through the day takes more energy than it used to, and the future feels a little harder to picture clearly? A while back, my father-in-law shared an image that’s stayed with me. He said getting through a tough situation is a lot like driving at night. You can’t see the whole road. You can only see as far as your headlights reach. And sometimes that’s frustrating. Sometimes it’s tiring. Sometimes it’s enough to make you wonder how much farther you really want to go. On long drives like that, you don’t just push endlessly. You stop. You stretch your legs. You grab a snack. Maybe some hot coffee. You check in with yourself and decide how many more miles you can reasonably make before the next pause. And you keep going, not because you’re motivated, but because you’re disciplined enough to trust that morning will come. Resilience often looks like that. It’s not dramatic. It’s not loud. It’s not about powering through with a positive attitude. It’s about staying present long enough for the sun to rise so you can rub your eyes and realize just how far you’ve already come. Some seasons don’t require more motivation. They require more honesty. An honest look at what you’re working with, what you can change, and what you might need to approach differently. And that kind of honesty is where resilience actually begins. So today, I want to slow this conversation down. Not to fix anything, but to notice it. To explore what resilience really looks like when life feels hard, and why discipline, not motivation, is often what carries us forward. CHALLENGE: Stop waiting for motivation and start honoring the discipline that’s already carrying you forward. Take an honest inventory of where you are, choose one small step you can take with integrity, and allow yourself to pause without quitting. Remember, just because the road feels dark doesn’t mean you’re off course. I Know YOU Can Do It!   🎶 Music that Moves the Message All original music featured in this episode—including the Encouragementology intro, outro, and interludes—was written and performed by Matt Martino. His work brings warmth and emotion to every episode. Find more of Matt’s music here: MATT MARTINO Spotify iTunes Youtube

    30 min
  8. Giving In vs Giving Up: Finding Momentum in the In-Between

    JAN 14

    Giving In vs Giving Up: Finding Momentum in the In-Between

    SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are exploring the difference between giving in and giving up, and why learning to tell the difference might be the very thing that keeps you moving forward instead of quietly walking away. Have you ever been at that moment where you’re exhausted, frustrated, maybe even embarrassed to admit how much effort you’ve put in, and you’re asking yourself, “Do I keep going… or do I stop?” Not because you don’t care. But because you care so much, you don’t want to waste any more energy if this isn’t going to work. I think this is one of the hardest decisions we face, and it’s not because we lack grit or discipline. It’s because most of us were taught to think about effort in very black-and-white terms. You either push through or you quit. You either succeed or you fail. You either stay the course or you give up. There’s not much space in that thinking for nuance. Not much room for learning. And definitely not much room for the messy middle where most real growth actually happens. What often gets lost is the idea that modifying your approach is not the same thing as abandoning your goal. That giving in to reality is not the same thing as giving up on yourself. Self-talk commitments you can carry with you this week: “This does not have to work perfectly for it to be worth my effort.” “I am allowed to change my approach without changing my commitment.” “I do not need to decide everything today.” “I am learning how I work, not proving what I am worth.” CHALLENGE: Notice where you’re forcing an all-or-nothing decision in your life right now. Instead of pushing harder or walking away, try giving in just enough to adjust your approach and gather information. Stay engaged, stay curious, and let progress, not perfection, guide your next step.      I Know YOU Can Do It!   🎶 Music that Moves the Message All original music featured in this episode—including the Encouragementology intro, outro, and interludes—was written and performed by Matt Martino. His work brings warmth and emotion to every episode.   Find more of Matt’s music here: MATT MARTINO Spotify iTunes Youtube

    30 min
4.9
out of 5
7 Ratings

About

Weekly topics covering life‘s challenges with a positive spin and a new perspective. It‘s time to connect, learn, and grow!