Self Talk with Rachel Astarte

Rachel Astarte, LMFT

Self Talk takes a conversational look at how we can show up in the world—for the world. If you're on a journey to your true self, this is your next stop.

  1. MAR 3

    Living the Foundation of Self—Meditate on This

    Send Rachel a text message. Meditation practice isn’t about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. It’s about befriending who we are already. — Pema Chödrön In this episode of Self Talk, we redefine what meditation can be—beyond rules, shame, and “shoulds.” We'll explore why so many of us resist meditating, debunk the myth that meditation is about “reaching enlightenment,” and reframe practice as a personal check‑in with Source.  You’ll learn simple, accessible ways to make meditation your own, including a 60‑second drop‑in, a daily self‑alignment practice, and turning everyday activities into a mindfulness practice.  You're also invited to join Write Your Self Open, a guided meditation and reflective writing course that supports your ongoing inner work—and invites you to be lovingly, radically gentle with yourself. EPISODE TIMELINE 00:00 – What Meditation Really Is Pema Chödrön quote, intro to the episode, and why so many of us resist meditation or feel guilty about not doing it.01:08 – Rachel’s First Meditation Attempt as a Child Story of Rachel’s early experience with meditation, boredom, shame, and how that shaped her later practice.03:18 – Common Blocks: Shame, “Shoulds,” and Comparison How meditation becomes another item on the to‑do list, the comparison trap, and the fear of “doing it wrong.”05:23 – Fear of Thoughts and the Quiet Mind A client’s fear of being alone with his thoughts, why quieting the mind can feel scary, and how self‑work helps.06:21 – Why We Don’t Meditate: Enlightenment Myths Why chasing enlightenment through meditation is problematic, non‑duality, and the limits of the ego in this pursuit.08:00 – Real Benefits of Meditation (Mind, Body, Spirit) Nervous system regulation, stress reduction, better sleep, improved focus, and meditation as a “phone call home” to Source.10:45 – No Rules: Making Meditation Your Own Letting go of shame and rigid rules; reframing meditation as a personal check‑in rather than a performance.11:19 – Simple Practices You Can Start Today The 60‑second drop‑in body scan, daily self‑alignment meditation, and “whatever you’re doing, do it” mindfulness in everyday life.15:51 – Guided Meditation & ‘Write Your Self Open’ How guided meditation and reflective writing work in Rachel’s “Write Your Self Open” course, plus details about the new Monday cohort beginning April 13.Write Your Self Open is a revolution in self-development that blends guided meditation, journaling, and supportive group discussion led by holistic psychotherapist Rachel Astarte. It's all the benefits of personal transformation + community-building without the constraints of talk therapy.Join anytime. No previous meditation or writing experience necessary.http://writeyourselfopen.com Got a question about your self? Send it to me at rachel@selftalkpodcast.com and it may be featured on a future episode.  Support the show Continue working with Rachel at foundationofself.com • Subscribe here, at youtube.com/@selftalkpodcast, or wherever you get podcasts. • Music: "Ave Marimba" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0

    19 min
  2. FEB 3

    Living the Foundation of Self—Bring Fear Closer

    Send Rachel a text message. It’s not that you must be free from fear… What is needed rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance is understanding fear; that means watch it; learn about it; come directly into contact with it. —J. Krishnamurti What if fear isn’t something to eliminate—but something asking to be seen? In this episode of Self Talk, we explore the transformative practice of bringing our fears closer rather than avoiding them. When fear is met with presence and curiosity, it loses its power to hijack our inner world and instead becomes a source of insight, integration, and self-trust. Together, we’ll look at why we avoid fear, how avoidance quietly shapes our behavior, and how welcoming even the most uncomfortable parts of ourselves creates inner transparency and resilience.  At the heart of it all is the Foundation of Self: the understanding that each of us is a unique expression of Pure Consciousness—and nothing within us is separate or unworthy of belonging. EPISODE TIMELINE [0:00:00 – 0:00:38] Opening & Theme Krishnamurti quote on understanding fear and brief introduction to the season’s focus on practicing the foundation of self. The core theme of “bringing fear closer” is introduced. [0:00:38 – 0:03:10] Fear as Protection Fear is framed as an evolutionary protection mechanism. Its role in the nervous system and its destabilizing psychological impact are outlined. [0:03:10 – 0:05:40] Underdeveloped Ego & Avoidance The underdeveloped ego is described as equating fear with danger and annihilation. Common avoidance patterns—distraction, overworking, numbing, and spiritual bypassing—are named. [0:05:40 – 0:07:50] Unnamed Fear & Anxiety Unacknowledged fear is shown to become anxiety and other symptoms like irritability and self-sabotage. A client story illustrates how vague fear can be clarified into a specific, workable concern. [0:07:50 – 0:09:40] Fear as a Frightened Child Fear is reimagined as a frightened child seeking reassurance. “Bringing it closer” is presented as turning toward fear with steadiness and curiosity, held by the larger Self. [0:09:40 – 0:12:20] Naming & Integrating Fear The importance of naming and feeling fear without judgment is highlighted. Fear is shown to carry old stories that can be updated when brought into conscious awareness. [0:12:20 – 0:15:00] Wholeness & Congruency Healing is framed as integrating, not eliminating, inner parts. The “cottage of the self” metaphor illustrates welcoming all parts to create congruency between inner and outer life. [0:15:00 – 0:18:00] Consciousness & Belonging Each person is described as a unique expression of pure consciousness. From this view, nothing within is foreign, and fear loses power to enforce a sense of isolation. [0:18:00 – 0:20:00] Daily Practice Invitation Listeners are invited to notice one moment of fear and gently bring it closer. Simple witnessing with non-judgment is offered as a daily integrative practice. Got a question about your self? Send it to me at rachel@selftalkpodcast.com and it may be featured on a future episode.  Support the show Continue working with Rachel at foundationofself.com • Subscribe here, at youtube.com/@selftalkpodcast, or wherever you get podcasts. • Music: "Ave Marimba" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0

    14 min
  3. JAN 6

    Living the Foundation of Self—Be Genuinely Curious

    Send Rachel a text message. You have built your Foundation of Self; now it's time to start living it. In this episode of Self Talk, we talk about Genuine Curiosity—the foundational tool at the heart of the Foundation of Self framework. We'll revisit the three core pillars of the work—non-judgment, awareness, and gentleness—and explain why genuine curiosity is the guide you'll return to time and again as you continue to develop your Self. Shift from self-judgment to self-understanding, using curiosity to explore thoughts, emotions, patterns, and relationships with compassion and clarity.  We'll also explore how genuine curiosity transforms our interactions with others, reduces ego-driven narratives, and helps us remember our deeper connection to one another and to Source itself. Be more curious than defensive. —Brené Brown EPISODE TIMELINE Opening Quote & Welcome (0:00–0:02) Brené Brown’s reminder to “be more curious than defensive” sets the tone as Rachel introduces this season’s focus: living the foundation of self.Foundation of Self & Genuine Curiosity (0:02–0:04) A brief recap of last season’s foundation work and an introduction to genuine curiosity as the base layer for relating to self, others, and reality without judgment.The Three Pillars Recap (0:04–0:07) Non-judgment, awareness, and gentleness are revisited as the core pillars that allow genuine curiosity to function without collapsing into criticism or control.What Genuine Curiosity Sounds Like (0:07–0:12) Rachel models how genuine curiosity sounds in inner dialogue and explains how it differs from judgment, emphasizing suspension of shaming “othering.”Curiosity in Inner Work – Examples (0:12–0:18) Through real-life examples (repeating relationship patterns, “I hate everybody,” and not progressing fast enough), she shows how to investigate the origins of thoughts and behaviors as an objective observer.Curiosity in Relationships (0:18–0:24) Genuine curiosity is applied to interactions with others, helping us not take things personally, widen our lens, and create space for compassion and connection.Deeper Truth & Sacred Curiosity (0:24–0:28) Rachel frames us as ambassadors of source—unique expressions of consciousness—and describes curiosity as a sacred way that awareness comes to know itself.Daily Practice Invitation (0:28–0:32) Listeners are invited to notice at least one moment each day when they choose curiosity over judgment and to meet their discoveries with gentleness.Closing & Offerings (0:32–0:36) Rachel shareWrite Your Self Open is a revolution in self-development that blends guided meditation, journaling, and supportive group discussion led by holistic psychotherapist Rachel Astarte. It's all the benefits of personal transformation + community-building without the constraints of talk therapy.Join anytime. No previous meditation or writing experience necessary.http://writeyourselfopen.com Got a question about your self? Send it to me at rachel@selftalkpodcast.com and it may be featured on a future episode.  Support the show Continue working with Rachel at foundationofself.com • Subscribe here, at youtube.com/@selftalkpodcast, or wherever you get podcasts. • Music: "Ave Marimba" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0

    20 min
  4. 12/02/2025

    Building Your Foundation of Self—Interoception: Listening to the Body’s Wisdom

    Send Rachel a text message. In this episode, we explore interoception—the inner sense that lets us feel and understand what’s happening inside the body. This often-overlooked skill forms the foundation of emotional intelligence, intuition, self-trust, and conscious decision-making. You’ll learn why the underdeveloped ego resists inner sensation, how interoception connects us to our Highest Self, and simple daily practices to help you strengthen this essential inner-listening skill. We'll also practice a short guided exercise to help you return to your body gently and begin building a deeper, more compassionate relationship with your inner world. This is a grounding episode for anyone seeking clarity, alignment, or a more embodied path forward. ✨ Bonus for Listeners Paid subscribers to Rachel’s Substack, Foundation of Self, will receive exclusive access to her four-session video course: Interoception: Your Body's Gift for Personal Transformation.  As a thank-you for tuning in today, Rachel is offering a free 3-month paid subscription so you can experience the work deeply and at your own pace. Claim it here: http://rachelastarte.substack.com/selftalk Timeline 00:00 – Introduction & Framing Beginning thoughts on tuning into the body, the concept of interoception, and episode intentions.01:16 – What is Interoception? Defining interoception and its distinction from exteroception and proprioception.Its role in sensing inner truth and emotional awareness.02:18 – Why Interoception Matters Interoception as the root of self-awareness.Physical signals as first messengers for emotion and intuition.04:10 – Obstacles to Interoception Stories about ignoring or distrusting the body.Client experience of "living from the neck up."The underdeveloped ego’s resistance to inner sensation.06:13 – Working with the Ego Understanding why the ego fears inner growth.Reframing the ego as something to develop rather than suppress.08:00 – Building Interoceptive Skills Everyday practices: daily check-ins, mindful movement, dialoguing with sensations, and inviting the highest self’s guidance.10:11 – Benefits of Interoception Grounding, greater confidence, better decisions, and feeling safe within oneself.11:05 – Guided Practice Brief interoceptive pause: bringing attention to sensation, breathing, movement, and asking for inner guidance.13:16 – Integration & Closing Thoughts Interoception as a bridge between body, mind, and spirit.Coming home to one’s true nature.14:14 – Community Invitation Information and invitation to join the "Write Yourself Open" course for continued group and individual work. Got a question about your self? Send it to me at rachel@selftalkpodcast.com and it may be featured on a future episode.  Support the show Continue working with Rachel at foundationofself.com • Subscribe here, at youtube.com/@selftalkpodcast, or wherever you get podcasts. • Music: "Ave Marimba" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0

    16 min
  5. 11/04/2025

    Building Your Foundation of Self—Creating Boundaries, Not Walls

    Send Rachel a text message. In this episode of Self Talk, we discuss the true purpose of healthy boundaries—and why they’re actually acts of compassion, not separation.  Beginning with the core mantra, “My boundaries benefit both of us,” we'll reframe boundaries as soulful practices that protect our inner peace while deepening authentic connection. We'll also unpack the difference between walls and boundaries, the role of the underdeveloped ego in boundary resistance, and how consulting our Highest Self can transform difficult exchanges into moments of clarity, honesty, and mutual respect. You'll walk away with a clearer understanding of what boundaries are, how to recognize when one is needed, and simple, compassionate steps for setting limits rooted in love—for self and others. ✨ Bonus for Listeners Paid subscribers to Rachel’s Substack, Foundation of Self, will receive exclusive access to her full one-hour Boundaries, Not Walls training video. And as a thank-you for tuning in today, Rachel is offering a free 3-month paid subscription so you can experience the work deeply and at your own pace. Claim it here: http://rachelastarte.substack.com/selftalk A heart-centered, grounding conversation for anyone ready to build healthier relationships through clarity, compassion, and courage. Timeline: [0:00:00] IntroductionQuote on boundaries and the value of self.[0:00:24] Applying Inner Work ExternallySetting the tone: using non-judgment, awareness, and gentleness in interactions with others.[0:01:08] Boundaries Mantra Shared“My boundaries benefit both of us.”[0:01:18] Traditional Understanding vs. True PurposeBoundaries as bridges (not walls).[0:02:02] Definition of BoundariesBoundaries as acts of self-respect and relational respect. [0:02:52] Consequences of Lack of BoundariesPeople-pleasing, burnout, building unhealthy walls vs. healthy boundaries.[0:03:25] When to Set BoundariesSignals that a boundary is needed (feeling drained, resentful, anxious, guilty).[0:04:16] Inner Resistance and the “Small s Self”Addressing fear voices, moving to listen to the Highest Self for healthier boundaries.[0:05:38] How to Build Healthy Boundaries — 3 Steps[0:07:19] When Others Don’t Honor Your BoundariesStep-by-step response[0:10:16] Personal and Relational BenefitsIncreased freedom, confidence, authenticity; deeper relationships.[0:10:58] Addressing People-PleasersImportance of boundaries for even the most compassionate individuals.[0:11:41] Example: Jesus and the Money ChangersBiblical illustration emphasizing strong and compassionate boundaries.Got a question about your self? Send it to me at rachel@selftalkpodcast.com and it may be featured on a future episode.  Support the show Continue working with Rachel at foundationofself.com • Subscribe here, at youtube.com/@selftalkpodcast, or wherever you get podcasts. • Music: "Ave Marimba" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0

    15 min
  6. 10/07/2025

    Building Your Foundation of Self—Evolving the Underdeveloped Ego

    Send Rachel a text message. In this episode, we explore the underdeveloped ego—the "small s self" that keeps us playing small, doubting our worth, and resisting change. You’ll learn what the underdeveloped ego is, how it shows up as negative self-talk and impostor syndrome, and why it fears your awakening. We'll talk about how the ego’s resistance isn’t the enemy—it’s a sign that growth is happening. Through understanding, compassion, and conscious evolution, the underdeveloped ego can mature into a developed one: a balanced, integrated self that serves your Highest purpose rather than fighting against it. Transformation isn’t about killing the ego—it’s about teaching it to grow with you. Join us for Write Yourself Open every second and fourth Tuesday at 1pm Eastern to use meditation, writing, and community discussion to reconnect with your highest self. Learn more and register at writeyourselfopen.com or find it on foundationofself.com or rachelestartetherapy.com. • • • Timeline: 0:00:00 – Introduction Rachel Astarte opens the episode, introduces the season’s theme of building a foundation of self, and presents the topic: the underdeveloped ego.0:01:00 – What is the Underdeveloped Ego? Explanation of the ego’s role, referencing Carol S. Pearson.Introduction of the “small s self” or primitive ego and its need for validation and safety.0:03:00 – How the Underdeveloped Ego Manifests Discussion of negative self-talk, imposter syndrome, anxiety, and depression as signs of the underdeveloped ego.Examples of how the ego tries to protect us but keeps us small.0:06:23 – The Ego’s Deepest Fear The primitive ego’s fear of “obliteration” or ego death.How this fear leads to resistance against personal growth and awakening.0:08:00 – Differentiating the Small Self and Highest Self How to recognize the voice of the underdeveloped ego versus the higher self.Physical and emotional cues for each.0:09:39 – Transforming the Ego The goal is not to destroy the ego but to help it evolve into a balanced, developed ego.The developed ego as a bridge between human identity and pure consciousness.0:10:30 – Practical Steps for Ego Development Awareness: noticing when the small self is speaking.Dialog: compassionate conversation with the ego.Compassionate reframing: sWrite Your Self Open is a revolution in self-development that blends guided meditation, journaling, and supportive group discussion led by holistic psychotherapist Rachel Astarte. It's all the benefits of personal transformation + community-building without the constraints of talk therapy.Join anytime. No previous meditation or writing experience necessary.http://writeyourselfopen.com Got a question about your self? Send it to me at rachel@selftalkpodcast.com and it may be featured on a future episode.  Support the show Continue working with Rachel at foundationofself.com • Subscribe here, at youtube.com/@selftalkpodcast, or wherever you get podcasts. • Music: "Ave Marimba" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0

    19 min
  7. 09/02/2025

    Building Your Foundation of Self—You Are Your Highest Self

    Send Rachel a text message. The highest self isn't an idealized version of ourselves to strive for, but rather our preconditioned consciousness that has always been present within us. • Our highest self is like a blank sheet of paper upon which our life experiences are written • Reconnecting with our highest self shifts inner work from fixing ourselves to remembering who we truly are • When connected to our highest self, we respond rather than react in relationships • Four practices to reconnect: stillness, writing as dialogue, self-compassion, and presence in daily life • Notice moments when you feel merged with your highest self—during calm moments, while in nature, or engaged in activities you love • Inner work isn't about becoming someone else but remembering who you already are Join us for Write Yourself Open every second and fourth Tuesday at 1pm Eastern to use meditation, writing, and community discussion to reconnect with your highest self. Learn more and register at writeyourselfopen.com or find it on foundationofself.com or rachelestartetherapy.com. • • • Timeline: 0:00:00 Rachel introduces the concept that there is no "higher self" to search for; you are already your highest self, and the task is to let go of false ideas about yourself, a reference to Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, a spiritual teacher. 0:00:28 Host Rachel Astarte welcomes listeners and explains the ongoing "Building Your Foundation of Self" series, focusing today on the "highest self." [0:01:00–0:05:27] Rachel defines the "highest self" as the pure, original consciousness within everyone—not an ideal to strive for, but the essence that is always present. She explains why reconnecting with the highest self is important for authentic inner work and avoiding burnout from constant self-improvement. 0:05:27 Transition to practical advice. [0:05:28–0:08:01] Rachel shares four practical ways to reconnect with the highest self: stillness/meditation, writing as dialogue, self-compassion, and presence in daily life. She provides tips for each method. [0:08:01–0:08:05] Encouragement to listen quietly for the answer from your highest self. [0:08:05–0:11:50] Rachel gives examples of how listeners may have already experienced their highest self and invites them to notice and journal these moments. She emphasizes that inner work is about remembering who you are, not becoming someone else, and previews the topic of the next episode, the underdeveloped ego. 0:11:50 Rachel invites listeners to join th Got a question about your self? Send it to me at rachel@selftalkpodcast.com and it may be featured on a future episode.  Support the show Continue working with Rachel at foundationofself.com • Subscribe here, at youtube.com/@selftalkpodcast, or wherever you get podcasts. • Music: "Ave Marimba" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0

    13 min
  8. 07/08/2025

    Building Your Foundation of Self—Mastering Self-talk

    Send Rachel a text message. Be mindful of your self-talk, it’s a conversation with the Universe. —David James Lees This podcast episode focuses on negative self-talk, exploring how destructive internal dialogues are learned, not inherent.  Rachel provides a four-step process to transform negative self-talk: 1.        Awareness without judgment: Notice the critical inner voice without self-criticism 2.        Identify the source: Recognize that negative thoughts often come from external influences, not your true self 3.        Call in the Highest Self: Connect with your inner wisdom and eternal consciousness 4.        Rewrite the script: Replace negative thoughts with compassionate, validating statements The episode emphasizes that the inner critic is not bad, but scared, and should be met with curiosity and compassion.  Rachel uses the Cherokee tale of two wolves to illustrate how we choose which internal voice to "feed"—the one of fear or the one of love. Key Message You are not your negative thoughts. Your highest self is wise, loving, and connected to collective consciousness.   Link to Rachel's Substack, Foundation of Self Link to 3-month free paid subscription. "The Story of Two Wolves" courtesy of Lakota Circles of Hope  Music: "Journey Circle Song" written and performed by Rachel Astarte   • • • Timeline: 0:00:00 - Introduction begins, quote about self-talk 0:00:21 - Rachel Astarte welcomes listeners to the episode 0:01:21 - Explanation of how negative self-talk is learned 0:02:34 - Step one: Awareness without judgment 0:03:31 - Transition to step two 0:03:37 - Step two: Identify the source of negative self-talk 0:04:51 - Step three: Calling in the foundation of self 0:05:16 - Detailed explanation of the highest self 0:07:09 - Step four: Rewriting the script 0:08:38 - Cherokee tale of two wolves begins 0:10:29 - Conclusion of the two wolves story 0:11:05 - Wrapping up the main discussion 0:11:14 - Mention of August break 0:12:28 - Final closing remarks 0:12:30 - End of podcast Write Your Self Open is a revolution in self-development that blends guided meditation, journaling, and supportive group discussion led by holistic psychotherapist Rachel Astarte. It's all the benefits of personal transformation + community-building without the constraints of talk therapy.Join anytime. No previous meditation or writing experience necessary.http://writeyourselfopen.com Got a question about your self? Send it to me at rachel@selftalkpodcast.com and it may be featured on a future episode.  Support the show Continue working with Rachel at foundationofself.com • Subscribe here, at youtube.com/@selftalkpodcast, or wherever you get podcasts. • Music: "Ave Marimba" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0

    15 min
5
out of 5
15 Ratings

About

Self Talk takes a conversational look at how we can show up in the world—for the world. If you're on a journey to your true self, this is your next stop.