40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk.

Rick Clemons
  • 4.6 (101)
  • SEXUALITY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Welcome to the only podcast exploring the messiness, awesomeness, of masculinity of being a gay man over 40. Each episode is about sparking idea, addressing challenges, and diving deep into what it looks like to be a vulnerable gay guy. We talk about the stuff us gay guys have a hard time talking about, man-to-man: masculinity, sex, careers, our bodies, parenting, sexuality, failures, success, and aging, relationships, coming out - nothing is off limits. 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk is the revamped version of 40 Plus: Real Men. Real Talk podcast and is a short format podcast that's easy to digest. We take deep dives - one topic at a time - digging up the truth of what it’s like to be a gay man, instead of some contrived expectation of masculinity. We’re reclaiming manhood and our masculinity by facing our fears, making bold moves, and living life without apologies. Join us, but you've got to drop your BS, forget posturing, and be ready to explore the comical dysfunctions of our lives as gay men 40+ years of age!

  1. 5D AGO

    Rich Burns Says the Quiet Part Out Loud That Gay Men Over 40 Have Been Thinking for Years

    Gay men over 40 have been watching themselves disappear from screens, from conversations, and from their own community's narrative for decades. Rich Burns got fed up and built the antidote. The Humanitas Prize-winning creator and star of "The Disappointments" turned personal professional failure, romantic wreckage, and the specific ache of gay male invisibility into a series with over 4 million views and a global audience that stretches far beyond the LGBTQ+ community. Rich and Rick go deep on why older gay men are still being erased, what it actually costs to tell the truth on screen, and why humor is not a coping mechanism but a weapon. Key Takeaways: Why gay men over 40 are still invisible in media and what one man did about itHow Rich used personal humiliation and career setbacks as creative rocket fuelThe financial reality most gay men live with that Hollywood keeps airbrushing outWhat 4 million views taught Rich about the universal power of gay male experienceWhy humor is not softening the blow but telling the whole truth About Rich Rich Burns is the writer, star and creator of the Humanitas Prize-winning digital series The Disappointments. He also created and serves as the head writer for the Netflix original series Mermaid Magic which debuted August 2024 at #1 on Netflix Kids, with a second season coming. He developed and wrote on the Netflix reboot of the animated series Winx Club - The Magic Is Back. He served as head writer on two other recent Netflix chart toppers: DreamWorks’ Spirit Riding Free and She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. Additionally, Rich was a staff writer at Walt Disney Feature Animation, scripting successful sequels to Brother Bear (Annie Award-nominated for Best Feature - Screenplay), The Fox and The Hound and The Little Mermaid, among others. His screenplay The Dunes of Overveen, based on a true story about a gay artist in Amsterdam who led a resistance raid against the Nazis during WWII, won an Outfest Award. Connect With Rich & Watch The Disappointments Website Instgram - The Disappointments Instagram - Rich Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

    39 min

  2. MAR 20

    Kit Roughhouse on Gay Erotica, Reinvention, and Telling the Truth After 40

    Many gay men over 40 are reinventing themselves after layoffs, burnout, or careers that no longer fit. Creativity becomes survival, not a hobby. In this candid conversation, Kit Roughhouse shares how a job loss, a Los Angeles gay bar, and a long-suppressed creative voice gave rise to his alter ego and career as a gay erotica writer. his episode explores why erotic storytelling matters, how gay men use fantasy to explore identity and confidence, and what it means to create meaningful work later in life. It strips away shame around desire and reframes erotica as honest storytelling rooted in lived experience. Key takeaways: Why creative reinvention often begins after loss or disruptionHow gay erotica reflects identity, confidence, and belongingWhat it takes to claim your voice later in life without apology About Kit Kit Roughhouse is a writer of M/M erotica who was born in a gay bar in East Hollywood sometime in his late 20s. The bar closed years ago, but Kit keeps its spirit alive through his gleefully sexy smut, shot through with humor and humanity. Follow Kit Roughhouse on BlueSky for frequent updates on his writing and various gay obsessions. He's also active on Instagram. Connect With Kit Website Instagram   Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

    36 min

  3. MAR 13

    Belonging, Safety, and the Body: Reclaiming Authenticity as Gay Men with Devin Scott

    Why do so many gay men spend their lives trying to belong, and still feel unsafe being themselves? This episode explores the deeper layers of belonging, authenticity, and self-trust through the lens of body-based wisdom. Devin Scott, a licensed social worker and body wisdom coach, shares his journey beyond traditional therapy into somatic practices, mindfulness, and Eastern philosophy. The conversation unpacks how high-performing gay men often learn to abandon themselves in order to fit in, and how true belonging begins with feeling safe inside one’s own body. With honesty and vulnerability, Devin also reflects on a recent breakup and what it revealed about self-worth, safety, and pleasure. This is an invitation to stop performing belonging and start living it. Key takeaways: Belonging without self-trust creates exhaustion, not connection.The body often knows the truth long before the mind is ready to admit it.Safety with yourself is the foundation for authentic relationships and pleasure. About Devin Devin Scott, NBC-HWC, LMSW, helps people reconnect with their inner wisdom and move through life with greater authenticity. As the founder of Find Your Meaning, he blends body-based coaching, mindfulness, and psychological insight to support clients who feel disillusioned by traditional systems of healing. His work often draws people who have carried the weight of trauma or grown tired of “playing the game” of societal expectations, and who are now searching for something deeper, more sustainable, and more whole. With training in social work, nutrition, somatic practices, and energy healing, Devin’s approach reflects both rigor and breadth. He combines elements of psychotherapy, bodywork, and fitness with the grounding philosophies of Buddhism and yoga—without requiring clients to adopt a fixed belief system. His sessions emphasize integration: mind and body, science and spirituality, personal history and present possibility. A particular passion is his study of Leela, a thousand-year-old Indian board game that encodes spiritual teachings about human life. Devin is co-authoring a modern translation of its Sanskrit guide, bridging ancient wisdom with modern psychology and anatomy so Western audiences can explore life’s challenges as opportunities for growth. This work mirrors his philosophy with clients: emotions and struggles are not pathologies to erase but messages with purpose, pointing toward new directions of meaning. Connect With Devin Website Facebook Instagram LinkedIn   Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

    50 min

  4. MAR 6

    Living Without an Esophagus: Cancer, Community, and LGBTQ Resilience with Dallas Oliver

    What happens when your body is permanently changed—and you still choose to show up fully alive? This episode features Dallas Oliver, a gay man and esophageal cancer survivor diagnosed at just 39. Dallas shares his journey through chemotherapy, radiation, major surgery, and life without an esophagus, along with the realities most people never talk about: intimacy, identity, food, energy, and grief. Out of that experience, he created a weekly LGBTQ cancer support group to offer the kind of space he couldn’t find when he needed it most. This conversation is raw, honest, and deeply human-centered on survival, chosen family, and the power of community in healing. Key takeaways: Cancer doesn’t just change the body: it reshapes identity, intimacy, and daily life.LGBTQ cancer survivors face unique challenges that deserve affirming, honest spaces.Community is not optional...it’s a critical part of healing and survival. About Dallas He was born and raised in South Georgia and left at age 23 after coming out in Piedmont Park, boarding a plane soon after for Portland, Oregon. He spent the next 14 years there living more fully as himself, with some of my most meaningful time spent in rural southern Oregon, on and around the Wolf Creek Radical Faerie Sanctuary. In 2018, he felt a strong pull to return to Atlanta, where he launched his career in massage therapy. It was also here that he faced and survived stage 3 esophageal cancer. Each chapter of his journey—geographical, professional, and deeply personal—has shaped who he is today: a 43-year-old gay man living without an esophagus, grounded in resilience, authenticity, and lived experience. Connect With Dallas Website Facebook Instagram   Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

    43 min

  5. FEB 27

    Prostate Cancer Is Silent, and Why Gay Men Over 40 Must Pay Attention – Dr. Arthur L. Burnett II

    Prostate cancer rarely announces itself. For many men, especially gay men over 40, the first sign comes too late. PSA testing can catch prostate cancer early, yet most men avoid the conversation or assume no symptoms means no problem. World renowned urologist Dr. Arthur L. Burnett II breaks down what every man needs to know about prostate and urological health, PSA testing, and why waiting for symptoms is a dangerous mistake. The conversation tackles cultural shame, medical avoidance, and how masculinity myths keep men from advocating for their health. This episode is a wake up call for gay men who want more years, better sex, and control over their bodies as they age. Key Takeaways from the Podcast: Why prostate cancer often shows no symptoms until it is advancedWhen gay men over 40 should ask for PSA testing and why it mattersHow health literacy and early action change long term outcomes About Dr. Bennett Arthur L. “Bud” Burnett II, M.D., MBA, FACS, is a trail-blazing and globally recognized urologist, educator, and researcher at Johns Hopkins University, where he has worked for more than 40 years. He serves as the Patrick C. Walsh Professor of Urology, Director of the Male Consultation Clinic. As a barrier-breaking leader, he is recognized as the first Black person to have achieved milestones in the urology profession as professor of urology at Johns Hopkins University, President of the Sexual Medicine Society of North America (SMSNA), and Board Member of the American Urological Association. Dr. Burnett has devoted his professional life to advancing patient care, performing thousands of prostate and urologic surgeries and pioneering minimally invasive, nerve-sparing techniques that help patients recover faster and maintain quality of life. His groundbreaking research on erectile function helped make oral therapies like Viagra possible, and he continues to innovate treatments that improve outcomes for men and women alike. Connect With Dr. Burnett Website Facebook Instagram LinkedIn Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

    41 min

  6. FEB 20

    The Truth About Bulimia, Divorce, and the Secrets Gay Men Keep – Kyle Ridley

    Many gay men over 40 struggle with eating disorders, addiction, and shame while appearing successful and in control. Bulimia, compulsive behaviors, and secrecy often go unnoticed until a breaking point like divorce forces the truth into the open. In this unfiltered conversation, Kyle shares his personal experience with bulimia, recovery, and rebuilding identity after divorce as a gay man over 40. This episode confronts body image, food control, sex addiction, and emotional isolation in the gay male community. It exposes why secrecy keeps men stuck and how recovery begins with honesty, support, and connection later in life. Key takeaways: Why eating disorders and addiction remain hidden among gay men over 40 How bulimia, shame, and control are deeply connected What recovery and reinvention actually require after divorce About Kyle Kyle is an Emmy Award winning journalist with more than two decades in print and television. He started freelancing for his local paper in high school, specializing in arts and entertainment reporting. After interning at “The Dr. Phil Show” and NBC Los Angeles in college, he returned home to the DC area and worked in government procurement. Kyle has become a vocal advocate for men facing eating disorders. Kyle’s perspective is unique: it’s shaped by his decades-long journalism career and by his personal journey through recovery, which he’s shared, with remarkable candor on his own podcast and in community forums. His stories connect deeply because so many in our LGBTQ+ circles struggle in silence, wrongly believing these issues are rare among men. Kyle’s podcast - The Tangle With Kyle Ridley - helps men realize they aren’t alone in what they’re experiencing. With his steady social following, Kyle is making it easier for men to talk about challenging stories and find support. Connect With Kyle Website Instagram LinkedIn Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

    36 min

  7. FEB 13

    Heated Rivalry: The Love War You Keep Fighting With Yourself – Rick Clemons

    Negotiating love feels responsible until you realize it is costing you your self-respect. For many gay men over 40, relationships quietly turn into endurance tests disguised as commitment. You tolerate distance. You excuse confusion. You call chemistry connection and safety love. In this eve before Valnetines Day episode, Rick Clemons exposes the heated rivalry (with cheeky, but wise observations from the HBO Max series by the same name) playing out beneath your dating patterns. The fight between choosing comfort or choosing truth. This conversation cuts through avoidance, people-pleasing, and half-choices that keep men stuck repeating the same emotional loop. You will walk away clearer about where you are negotiating, why honesty feels risky, and what changes when you stop disappearing in the name of love. It’s about seeing your own b******t clearly enough to stop flirting with half-choices. This is the Perfect Detour moment where you stop negotiating and start living like you mean it. Key takeaways: Endurance is not devotion.If love requires you to disappear, you’re not committed — you’re negotiating.Chemistry opens the door. Capacity determines whether love stays.Most men keep choosing heat over honesty.Truth builds intimacy faster than approval ever will.Being lovable keeps you safe. Being honest makes you alive. About Rick Rick Clemons is a kick-ass coach, captivating speaker, and tell-it-like-it-is podcast host bringing a no-nonsense approach for gay men over 40 to see their own b******t, stop flirting with decisions, hook up with life, and never go back. If you’re still explaining your life, you’re not ready for Rick. His line in the sand is simple: stop negotiating, or stop pretending you want more. Stop Negotiating Your Gay Life After 40. Live like you mean it — no fears, no excuses, no apologies. Connect With Rick Website Facebook Instagram Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

    39 min

  8. FEB 6

    Can You Still Get Hard After 40? Shay Doran on Performance Anxiety for Gay Men

    Many gay men over 40 quietly panic when sex stops working the way it used to. Erections feel unpredictable. Anxiety creeps in. Porn, media, and aging myths make it worse. Men’s coach Shay Doran brings a grounded, no nonsense perspective to performance anxiety, erectile dysfunction, stress, medication side effects, and the emotional pressure gay men carry into the bedroom. This conversation reframes sexual performance as a whole life issue, not a broken body problem. When stress, self worth, and identity are addressed, desire and connection often follow. The episode challenges shame based thinking and replaces it with curiosity, honesty, and a better understanding of sex after 40. Key Takeaways from the Podcast: Why performance anxiety is often a stress response, not a sexual failureHow porn and cultural expectations distort confidence for gay men over 40What actually helps rebuild intimacy, trust, and desire without shame About Shay Shay Doran is a men’s coach, specializing in helping men fix erection problems & performance anxiety. After experiencing this himself, Shay has now helped men around the world overcome erection problems & feel normal again. Connect With Shay Website YouTube Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

    46 min
See All (300)

4.6
out of 5
101 Ratings

About

Welcome to the only podcast exploring the messiness, awesomeness, of masculinity of being a gay man over 40. Each episode is about sparking idea, addressing challenges, and diving deep into what it looks like to be a vulnerable gay guy. We talk about the stuff us gay guys have a hard time talking about, man-to-man: masculinity, sex, careers, our bodies, parenting, sexuality, failures, success, and aging, relationships, coming out - nothing is off limits. 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk is the revamped version of 40 Plus: Real Men. Real Talk podcast and is a short format podcast that's easy to digest. We take deep dives - one topic at a time - digging up the truth of what it’s like to be a gay man, instead of some contrived expectation of masculinity. We’re reclaiming manhood and our masculinity by facing our fears, making bold moves, and living life without apologies. Join us, but you've got to drop your BS, forget posturing, and be ready to explore the comical dysfunctions of our lives as gay men 40+ years of age!

Information

  • Creator
    Rick Clemons
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2026
  • Episodes
    300
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2023 Rick Clemons
  • Show Website
    40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk.

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