The Imperfects

Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
  • 4.6 (52)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

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  1. 2d ago • Subscribers Only

    Phone Odyssey: Homecoming

    Changing one behaviour can get back four hours of your day. Our little Odysseus’ have completed their journey to find that ‘home’ feels a little bit different … and that might be a good thing. Sans phone, Hugh’s interactions with random people reach a whole new level of pandemonium (and wholesomeness). Josh retrains his brain to produce its own dopamine again, and talks about a really tough few days. The guys discuss whether we are romanticising the past, and how going phone-free might be negatively impacting your partner and their mental load. Good luck to everyone who is still odyssey-ing (or trying to get ticket to The Odyssey). 🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode - How (and Why) Ryan Dumped His iPhone - https://bit.ly/4caj5KK - Our Phone Odyssey Begins - https://bit.ly/4wT6bcy - Is Hugh’s Phone Odyssey Over Already? - https://bit.ly/4ctcUBy - The Nature of Being Alone - https://bit.ly/4bGiXCz 📱Things to help your odyssey - Brick - getbrick.com 📺Things to watch - The Odyssey - https://bit.ly/4g0o01Q

    Phone Odyssey: Homecoming

  2. 3d ago

    The Nature of Being Alone

    Can nature help us to feel less alone? 💌Join 9,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/  Psychologist on the incredible, Alone Australia series (remember our seminal episode with Gina Chick?), Mark Mathieson is in the Academy of Imperfection to help us understand how nature regulates our body, and how we can reconnect to it in this digital age. Mark talks about how to uncover the person behind the persona, the science behind gardening, and why Hugh had the best sleep of his life in a tent, with no pillow. According to Mark, human are immensely capable of change, and this episode provides a few things we can do to ensure nature is incorporated into our routines, without cramming the schedule more. Mark, it was great to be alone . . . with you. If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIMSSRJg2vQ 0:00 – Ice breaker: where have we gone wrong? 6:58 – The segmentation of exercise 11:46 – Evolution of Mark 18:53 – Person behind the persona 24:10 – Our virtual reality future 27:22 – Let’s learn to adapt 36:00 – Building relationships with nature 42:28 – The science of gardening and sunshine 48:53 – Eventually, reality TV gets us all 53:08 – Big city blues 🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Gina Chick - Don’t Fight Life - https://bit.ly/4xj0kga Sean Turnell - A Prisoner’s Guide to Life - https://bit.ly/4btNKCu Sex for Normal People with Ita O’Brien - https://bit.ly/4btNNya Dr Emily - The (pesky) Hedonistic Treadmill - https://bit.ly/4yXxx2B Dr Paul Callaghan - How To Follow The Dreaming Path - https://bit.ly/457l9PY 📚Things to read Comfort Crisis, by Michael Easter - https://bit.ly/4pV10Ga The Dreaming Path, by Dr Paul Callaghan and Uncle Paul Gordon - https://bit.ly/4gctqrZ 📺 Things to watch Alone Australia (new season out now) - https://bit.ly/4yWVW8n 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects All views expressed in this podcast are Mark Mathieson’s and not representative of the Department of Defence, Australia. The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    The Nature of Being Alone

  3. Aug 2

    Briggs - What Racism Feels Like (feat. Nazeem Hussain)

    What is racism, really? 💌Join 9,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/  Adam Briggs, rapper, writer, actor, senator and Yorta-Yorta man, joins Hugh, Josh and guest host Nazeem Hussain, to have an honest conversation about racism in Australia. We explore the impact of The Voice Referendum vote, how culture and community impacts identity, and why Briggs has never, ever felt the need to people please (yep, that’s the sound of us frantically scribbling down notes). Briggs also chats about the highs and lows of bipolar II.0:00 – No boundaries Briggs5:26 –Big Shep’ Washing Machine12:25 – This is racism21:27 – A hyper-vigilante28:06 – Perfect storm for art36:09 – Copping it Australia Wide43:22 – The Yes Vote53:08 – Australian Culture57:02 – Never just about music1:04:50 – Make Aboriginal Cool1:09:19 – Bipolar, therapy, training 🫖 Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Ben Shewry (Pt 1) - The Other Side of Excellence - https://bit.ly/4fErGpQ Ben Shewry (Pt 2) - How The Chef Was Made - https://bit.ly/45sPsR7 Ben Shewry - Making It Right (And Delicious) - https://bit.ly/4gXyDEZ Nazeem Hussain - Losing a Parent - https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-imperfects/id1476501557?i=1000589981824  🎧Things to listen to Big Noter - https://www.thebignoter.com The Children Came Back by Briggs & Gurrumul - https://bit.ly/4fGaxMH 📺Things to watch Briggs’s Voice Referendum ad - https://bit.ly/4bkiTs2 📚Things to read Our Home, Our Heartbeat by Adam Briggs - https://bit.ly/4yQKbjW 💻Things to check out Rumbalara Football Netball Club - https://www.rfnc.com.au/ Bad Apples Music - https://bit.ly/4x8Rdi3 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link -  https://www.patreon.com/c/TheImperfects  🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcast http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Briggs - What Racism Feels Like (feat. Nazeem Hussain)

  4. Jul 27 • Subscribers Only

    Is Hugh's Phone Odyssey Over Already?

    Does Josh FINALLY believe in the supernatural?! Before we get into that, we are at the halfway point of our Phone Odyssey, and it’s time to check in on Hugh, Ryan and Josh’s phone-free pledges: - Josh is perhaps becoming an enlightened being. - Ryan is still addicted to the checking. - And Hugh lets his kids decide. And then, for all (one) of you who asked for Hugh to share his infamous ‘jasmine bush’ live show letter, we do just that, and discuss what was really behind the Blockbuster Video curtain, as well as our collective grief for the slowness and mindfulness of our childhoods. And finally, a Geraint story which nudges Josh towards the dark side. And nudges Vance (Hugh’s dog) towards the reincarnation of Frankenstein. And nudges Hugh towards bankruptcy. Byeeeeee, Things mentioned in this episode; - Our Phone Odyssey Begins - https://bit.ly/4gVvCVH - Sex for Normal People with Ita O’brien - https://bit.ly/4fHv6sc - Othership App - https://bit.ly/4vOYVNl - Barnaby Joyce and his dog - https://bit.ly/4x7Mdug - A Chat With Hugh’s Psychic (and the dead) - https://bit.ly/44P11C3

    Is Hugh's Phone Odyssey Over Already?

  5. Jul 26

    Sex for Normal People with Ita O'Brien

    Sex is sometimes a taboo topic. Not today! Intimacy expert Ita O’Brien tells us all about the new normal in the bedroom, and how she’s introduced it to Hollywood. 💌Join 9,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy In 2017, Ita O’Brien changed how Hollywood approached sex scenes when she pioneered intimacy co-ordination on the hit Netflix show, Sex Education, by introducing the framework, “Intimacy On Set Guidelines”. She went on to on productions for Netflix, BBC, HBO, Hulu, Amazon, including Sex Education and Normal People, founding her own company Intimacy on Set. And now she’s here. Ita chats with the guys about what sex scenes were like before Intimacy Co-ordination, and all the lies movies taught us about sex. She explains the mysterious orgasm gap, why consent is the foundation of all intimacy, and maybe most importantly of all… the male and female anatomy of arousal! That bit’s at the 16min mark if you’re really in a hurry. 😉00:00 – Meet Ita O'Brien, the World's First Intimacy Coordinator 01:32 – Inside Her Work on Normal People, I May Destroy You & Sex Education 04:17 – What Intimacy Actually Means (It's Not Just Sex) 07:34 – The Untold Story of the First-Ever Intimacy Coordinator Job 09:35 – What Sex Scenes Were Like Before Consent Guidelines Existed 12:27 – Why On-Screen Intimacy Shapes How We See Ourselves 14:33 – The Hidden Lie Movies Taught Us About Sex 16:00 – The Male Anatomy of Arousal, Explained 18:33 – The Female Anatomy of Arousal, Explained 23:17 – Why Desire Fades in Long-Term Relationships 25:59 – The Power of Touch (and Why We're Losing It) 30:39 – How Screens Are Rewiring Kids' Ability to Connect 34:08 – The Truth About the Orgasm Gap 40:30 – Why Consent Is the Foundation of All Intimacy 43:10 – Filming the Iconic Birth Scene in We Live in Time 49:52 – How to Talk to Kids About Consent and Bodies 52:24 – "Consent Is Sexy": A Call to Writers and Filmmakers 54:33 – Sex, Menopause and Intimacy at Every Life Stage 📖Things to read Intimacy: A Field Guide to Finding Connection and Feeling Your Deep Desires by Ita O’Brien - https://www.penguin.com.au/books/intimacy-9781529954043 📺 Things to watch Sex Education (Netflix) - https://www.netflix.com/title/80197526Normal People (BBC/Hulu) - https://www.hulu.com/series/normal-peopleI May Destroy You (BBC/HBO) - https://www.hbo.com/i-may-destroy-youCatastrophe - https://www.amazon.com/Catastrophe-Season-1/dp/B00YGB8UYKWe Live in Time (Film4/A24) - https://www.a24films.com/films/we-live-in-time 🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Esther Perel — Let's Be Better Lovers - https://open.spotify.com/episode/1BantQso5Ef3xPn4PWNG2I 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcast http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Sex for Normal People with Ita O'Brien

  6. Jul 20 • Subscribers Only

    One For The Highly Sensitive People Out There (with Psychologist Janelle Booker)

    Do highly sensitive people have what it takes to be parents? Welcoming back psychologist Janelle Booker (ADHD and Highly Sensitive Person specialist) for A Little More Questions, Bridge and Josh discuss how you may prepare to become a parent if you identify as a highly sensitive person, OR how you can support your highly sensitive partner. Kids are gross. And loud. And overwhelming. All. The. Time. But, this isn’t the end of the world for highly sensitive people wanting to become parents. Answering your questions, Janelle talks through how HSP parents can put in boundaries with their kids without being “the worst in the whole world,” and why people pleasing is much more akin to self-abandonment. There is SO MUCH in this episode. 🫖Things we mentioned Janelle Hamish episode - NEED LINK Janelle Booker - Living With ADHD - https://bit.ly/4oD0yfe Janelle’s website - https://bit.ly/3BZimwO How do you know you’re in a thinking trap? - https://bit.ly/44fvIjk Elaine Aron - https://bit.ly/4eYlO9H Spot the difference study - https://bit.ly/4oFABf0 Lael Stone - Parent Yourself First - https://bit.ly/4oIohe8 Dr Emily - Compassion of The Self - https://bit.ly/3SPuEjC Maggie Dent - “Good Enough” Parenting is Good Enough - https://bit.ly/4vfwngw The Orchid and The Dandelion, by Thomas Boyce - https://bit.ly/4escA6s Quiet, by Susan Cain - https://bit.ly/3SRjQBx

    One For The Highly Sensitive People Out There (with Psychologist Janelle Booker)

  7. Jul 19

    Our Phone Odyssey Begins

    Could you live without your phone for a month? 🩵To hear more episodes like this, join A Little More Imperfects!Patreon - www.patreon.com/theimperfects Apple - http://apple.co/theimperfectsThis week it's just the three of us. And like Odysseus before us, we embark on a life changing epic. Where he fought the trojans, monsters, cannibals, sirens, the oceans, a cyclops and ACTUAL GODS!! We will do something even ‘EPIC…ER’. We’re tackling our phones. Each of us take on a month-long challenge to fix our worst phone habits, inspired by the ‘god of no phones’ - Christopher Nolan and the release of THE ODYSSEY (if that wasn’t obvious already, but we promise this episode isn't an ad). We then share some of our favourite bits from behind the pay wall, from our Patreon/Subscriber community. Ryan has an unplanned, very generous on-air hair donation; Josh shares a bit from a book which changed his life a bit; which leads to one of the most honest conversations he and Hugh have ever had on (or off) the show, about comparison, self-esteem, and growing up idolising your older brother. This is one epic journey. 00:00 — The Phone Odyssey Begins08:54 — Our Phone-Free Pledges19:11 — Modelling Better Habits at Home25:29 — Hairing is Caring37:57 — A Bit From a Book That Changed Josh’s Life a Bit48:18 — The Conversation Between Brothers That Needed to Be Had 🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Bronte Campbell - Comparison, The thief of joy ****https://bit.ly/49S1S7C Joe Brumm & Hamish Blake - A Bluey Print for Dads https://bit.ly/4w4ohI8 How (and why) Ryan Dumped his iPhone https://bit.ly/3T3xdyM Sam Willoughby - The tragic injury that changed his life (and Ryan’s Finnastride admission) https://bit.ly/4fa5u8p 📖 Things to read The midnight library - Matt Haigh https://bit.ly/4vGgnE0 How Proust can change your life - Alain de Botton https://bit.ly/4dYfCkd In search of lost time - Marcel Proust https://bit.ly/4vt3lJG 📺Things to watch The Odyssey https://bit.ly/4vY8nij Christopher Nolan on 60minutes https://bit.ly/4yjfZgX 💌Join 8,300+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/  🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/shop/  🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/shop/  The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Our Phone Odyssey Begins

  8. Jul 13 • Subscribers Only

    Why Hugh Was Naked At The Office

    What shenanigans did Hugh get up to this week? Hint: it involves the work shower and a missing towel. Also in this episode, we hold another semi-regular book club to talk about a bit from a book that changed Producer Bell’s life a bit. We pull a reflection from the pond, and ponder (let it be known that George came up with this pun first) about what lights us up that we’re no longer doing. And FINALLY Ryan gets a chance to talk about his mixed netball talents. And then Hugh brings a quote, and promises to drive more engagement in patreon. 🎧 Things we talked about on this episode - A Place of Greater Safety, by Hilary Mantel - https://bit.ly/4oJT1ex - To send in a reflection to the pond - www.theimperfects.com.au/contact

    Why Hugh Was Naked At The Office
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4.6
out of 5
52 Ratings

About

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

Information

  • Creator
    Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2026
  • Episodes
    338
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
  • Show Website
    The Imperfects
  • Provider
    The Imperfects Podcast Pty Ltd

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