Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom

Marcy Larson, MD
  • 4.9 (141)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

When pediatrician mom of three, Marcy Larson's 14 yo son, Andy, was killed in a car accident in 2018, she felt like her life was over. In many ways, that life was over, and a new one forced to begin in its place. Come alongside her as she works through this journey of healing. She discusses grief and child loss with other grieving parents and those who work to help them in their grief. This podcast is for grieving parents and well as those who support them.

  1. 5D AGO

    Episode 335: What Shapes Our Grief - Gwen

    In this episode of Always Andy's Mom, grief educator Gwen Kapcia of grief-guide.com continues her four-part educational series on grief. In Part 2, Gwen focuses on the many factors that influence grief and the way individuals experience loss. Grief does not follow a single path. Personality, life history, coping styles, cultural background, belief systems, support networks, and the circumstances of the death all shape how grief shows up. Gwen explains why people grieve differently and why comparison can be harmful during the grieving process. This episode offers both education and reassurance, especially for bereaved parents who may feel pressure to grieve a certain way or on a specific timeline. By understanding the factors that influence grief, listeners are encouraged to approach themselves—and others—with greater compassion and patience. This is Part 2 of a 4-part educational series with Gwen Kapcia, created to help listeners better understand grief and support healing without judgment.

    54 min

  2. FEB 5

    Episode 334: Why Grief Is So Hard - Gwen

    Why does grief feel so overwhelming—physically, emotionally, and mentally? And why does it so often feel lonelier than we expected? This episode is Part 1 of a four-part educational series with grief educator Gwen Kapcia (grief-guide.com). Together, we explore why grief is so hard, particularly in modern culture, and why so many grieving people feel isolated, misunderstood, or unsure of what is "normal." Gwen explains how grief often shows up in the body through panic, exhaustion, numbness, brain fog, and anxiety—and why these responses are not signs of weakness or failure. We also talk about how shortened bereavement leave, lack of grief education, and societal pressure to "move on" complicate the grieving process. This conversation offers grounding insight for anyone navigating loss, as well as for those who want to better support grieving people in their lives. If you have ever questioned your grief or wondered why it feels so heavy and confusing, this episode offers clarity, validation, and compassion.

    1 hr

  3. JAN 29

    Episode 333: What is the Color of Your Heart? Addy's Mom

    What color is your heart today? In this episode, I sit down with Rachael, Addy's mom, to talk about grief, healing, and the unexpected ways art can help us survive unimaginable loss. After 12 year-old, Addy's death, Rachael's grief showed up not only emotionally, but physically—through panic, sleeplessness, and a constant sense of overwhelm. Words often felt insufficient. Months later, painting entered her life without intention or expectation. Through color and movement, Rachael found a new way to release what grief held inside. Art became a language when words were unreachable—and a way to gently check in with herself each day. We also talk about how this simple question—What color is your heart today?—creates space for honesty without pressure, allowing grief to be messy, changing, and deeply personal. Rachael shares how this mindset now informs her work with young people in suicide prevention, reminding them that while life brings hard things, they are capable of moving through them. This conversation is a tender reflection on grief, creativity, and learning how to carry love and loss together—one day, one color at a time.

    1h 13m

  4. JAN 22

    Episode 332: What Remains, What Grows - Hunter's Mama

    In this episode of Always Andy's Mom, Luna returns for a new conversation—one shaped by time, lived experience, and the quiet ways grief continues to unfold. Years ago, Luna signed a letter to her son Hunter with words that have stayed with me since reading her book, Look Mom, I Can Fly. She signed it: Love, Your devastated, aching, flailing, vulnerable, wrecked, and resilient Mama. Those words hold so much of what it means to live after the loss of a child. When Luna first joined the podcast, she was only weeks into her grief after Hunter died suddenly while he was sleeping. Even then, she carried a rare clarity—an understanding that grief does not need to be fixed, rushed, or hidden. Now, five years later, we talk about how grief lives in the body, how healing asks us to listen differently, and how moments of peace sometimes arrive quietly, without explanation. Luna shares how she honors her emotions as they come and how love continues to show itself through small signs and deep presence. Luna closes the episode by reading her poem "Signs," from her book Look Mom, I Can Fly, written from Hunter's perspective. It is tender, powerful, and filled with the kind of love that does not end. This episode is a reminder that grief is full of contradictions—that we can be devastated and resilient, wrecked and still growing. Some things remain. Some things grow. Both can be true.

    1h 6m

  5. JAN 15

    Episode 331: The Quiet Work of Grief - Cody's Mom

    In this episode of Always Andy's Mom, Marcy is joined by Melinda, a mother whose love for her son, Cody, continues to quietly shape the way she lives, grieves, and remembers. Melinda reflects on how Cody's life changed her family for the better—how his presence deepened their compassion, softened their hearts, and continues to guide them forward even after his death. Melinda shares the story of the day her world changed, the confusion and shock that followed, and the unexpected moments of peace that met her in the midst of profound grief. She speaks honestly about how grief looks different for each member of a family, especially as her husband wrestled with guilt and trauma, and how love—patient, steady love—became the thing that carried them through. Seven years into her grief journey, Melinda describes learning how to live in the love rather than the pain, allowing space for sorrow without being consumed by it. She talks about journaling as a way to stay connected to Cody, the meaning she found in small signs and moments, and the comfort that arrived exactly when it was needed most. Rather than grand gestures, Melinda honors her son in quiet, intentional ways—anonymous acts of kindness, simple remembrances, and choices rooted in who he was and what he would have wanted. Her story is a reminder that there is no timeline for grief, no right way to carry loss, and no measure for how deeply love can continue after death. This conversation offers a tender look at how grief evolves, how peace can arrive unexpectedly, and how love—when held gently—can still make us better.

    1h 2m

  6. JAN 8

    Episode 330: A Father's Grief, Stitched with Love - Ray's Dad

    In this episode of the Always Andy's Mom Podcast, I'm joined by Taylor, a grieving father who shares the story of his son, Ray, who was stillborn late in pregnancy. Taylor talks about the moment fatherhood became real for him — feeling Ray kick for the first time — and the joy and anticipation that followed a healthy 20-week scan. Then, at 27 weeks, everything changed. Ray's heartbeat was gone. Taylor and his wife went through labor and delivery knowing there would be no living baby at the end, followed by precious time holding their son and saying goodbye. Taylor speaks openly about the emotions that came next: the anger that surprised him, the fear that the world no longer felt safe, and the weight of realizing that some things cannot be fixed. As a father, he felt the pressure to stay strong, even while grieving deeply himself. One of the most moving parts of this conversation is how Taylor found healing through an unexpected outlet. At the suggestion of his wife, he taught himself how to crochet using yarn that had been purchased for Ray. What started as a simple way to stay busy became a form of connection and comfort. With each stitch, Taylor found a way to honor his son, quiet his thoughts, and give his grief somewhere to go. Today, Taylor continues to crochet — creating hats, keepsakes, and donations — each piece carrying love, remembrance, and Ray's presence forward. This episode is a powerful reminder that grief doesn't disappear, but it can transform. Healing sometimes comes not through words, but through the work of our hands.

    46 min

  7. JAN 1

    Episode 329: What Is a Miracle? - Patrick's Mom

    What comes to mind when you hear the word miracle? For so many of us who have lost a child, that word can feel complicated. We prayed. We begged. We hoped with everything in us—and the miracle we were asking for did not come. This week's episode gently asks us to reconsider what a miracle might look like after unimaginable loss. I knew the day Andy was killed in a car accident that I was praying for a miracle. I begged as the paramedics worked, believing with everything in me that he could be saved. But Andy could not be revived, and the miracle I was asking for did not come. Today's guest, Renee, knows that place of longing well. She is the mother of Patrick, who died at the age of 29 after a fall while hiking in the mountains of Colorado. When Patrick went missing, Renee prayed for a miracle too, holding onto hope until he was found. Now, four and a half years later, Renee offers a powerful and unexpected reflection: she believes the grief journey itself is a miracle. As bereaved parents, continuing to live after the death of a child can feel impossible. And yet, somehow, we do. We wake up. We breathe. We carry our children with us in new ways. We persevere. This episode is a gentle, thoughtful conversation about grief, resilience, faith, and the quiet miracles that can emerge even after devastating loss. It is an offering of companionship for anyone navigating life after child loss—and a reminder that survival itself is something extraordinary.

    56 min

  8. 12/25/2025

    Episode 328: Christmas Memories: Holding Love, Grief, and Hope Together

    This episode of Always Andy's Mom is a replay of a Christmas Memories Livestream—created as a place of reflection, remembrance, and gentle presence during the holiday season. In this episode, Gwen and I read Christmas memories shared by parents from around the world within the Always Andy's Mom community. These stories speak to the deep love that remains after loss and the complicated emotions that often surface during Christmas—joy intertwined with longing, tradition mingled with grief. Together, we paused often. We spoke children's names. We honored moments both ordinary and sacred: gifts unwrapped, traditions remembered, laughter recalled, and absences deeply felt. This is not an episode about fixing grief or finding silver linings, but about allowing memory and love to coexist with sorrow. Christmas after loss is rarely simple. This episode offers a place to slow down, to breathe, and to remember that grief is not something to overcome, but love continuing to move through our lives. As always, the episode closes with Andy's voice—a steady reminder that love endures.

    1h 7m
See All (334)

4.9
out of 5
141 Ratings

About

When pediatrician mom of three, Marcy Larson's 14 yo son, Andy, was killed in a car accident in 2018, she felt like her life was over. In many ways, that life was over, and a new one forced to begin in its place. Come alongside her as she works through this journey of healing. She discusses grief and child loss with other grieving parents and those who work to help them in their grief. This podcast is for grieving parents and well as those who support them.

Information

You Might Also Like