Restored: Helping Children of Divorce

Restored
  • 5.0 (66)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Biweekly

Children of divorce are 2–3 times more likely to get divorced themselves, and are more likely to struggle with emotional problems, relationship issues, and bad habits. But those stats don't get to write your story. If your parents' divorce or family dysfunction left wounds you can't always put into words, this show is for you.Restored shares real stories and expert interviews to help adult children of divorce heal childhood trauma, break generational cycles, and build the healthy marriage or relationships you've always wanted.  Each week we go straight at the questions other shows won't touch: how to set boundaries with a narcissistic or unsafe parent, how co-parenting and blended families shape kids into adulthood, what the Catholic Church actually teaches about annulment, why affairs happen and how to affair-proof a marriage, and how to stop repeating your parents' relationship patterns without meaning to.Ranked in the top 10% of all podcasts and #18 in the divorce category — the only show dedicated specifically to children of divorce — listeners say it's "more effective than 30 years of counseling." You're not doomed to repeat your family's past. You can break the cycle, and we're here to help you do it.

  1. Sep 22

    How Confident People Handle Fear Differently | Trevor Ragan: #184

    Confident people still feel fear. The difference is how they respond to it. In this episode, Trevor Ragan explains why fear, anxiety, and discomfort don’t necessarily mean you’re weak, unprepared, or on the wrong path. In fact, trying to suppress those emotions can make them even stronger. Trevor is the founder of The Learner Lab and has spent nearly a decade studying learning, performance, resilience, and difficult emotions. He’s worked with professional and Olympic athletes, Major League Baseball teams, and leaders at the United Nations. In this episode, you’ll learn: How confident people handle fear differentlyWhy trying to eliminate fear can backfireHow to move forward even when you don’t feel readyWhy confidence isn’t the absence of difficult emotionsHow to build skills you may not have learned growing up If fear keeps you from taking risks, having difficult conversations, pursuing relationships, or building the life you want, this episode is for you. More resources: Join our 6-week healing program  https://restoredministry.com/program Free guide: 10 Tips to Help Someone Whose Parents Are Separating or Divorcing https://restoredministry.com/10tips Learn more about Trevor: https://thelearnerlab.com Shownotes https://restoredministry.com/blog/184

  2. Sep 7

    Why Avoiding Conflict Can Destroy a Relationship | Adam Lane Smith: #183

    If you grew up in a broken or dysfunctional family, you may have entered adulthood without ever seeing what healthy conflict looks like. But avoiding conflict isn’t the answer. In fact, healthy conflict can be one of the main ways couples build trust, deepen intimacy, and discover whether they can actually build a life together. Our guest, Adam Lane Smith, is a former licensed marriage and family therapist, bestselling author, and attachment specialist whose work has attracted more than 1.3 million followers across social media. In this conversation, Adam breaks down the practical relationship skills many people never learned growing up. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why people from broken families often struggle in relationshipsHow healthy couples handle conflict differentlyWhy avoiding conflict can actually weaken trustWhat conflict reveals about whether someone is marriage materialHow to communicate, repair, and build trust after things go wrongIf conflict makes you shut down, blow up, people-please, or wonder whether you’re capable of building the healthy marriage you never saw growing up, this episode is for you. Resources mentioned in this episode: 👉 Join the waitlist for our new healing program for young adults impacted by their parents’ divorce or family dysfunction: RestoredMinistry.com/program 👉 Get the free guide: 10 Tips to Help Someone Whose Parents Are Separating or Divorcing: RestoredMinistry.com/10Tips 👉 Learn more from Adam Lane Smith, including his Secure Circle, relationship resources, programs, and coaching: AdamLaneSmith.com 👉 Shownotes https://restoredministry.com/blog/183

  3. Aug 25

    How to Feel Safe Again After Family Dysfunction | Annie Sarlo: #182

    What if you’ve understood your wounds intellectually—but your body is still carrying them? After her parents’ divorce, Annie Sarlo spent years hiding her family’s dysfunction, struggling with anger, anxiety, perfectionism, and difficulty receiving love. Her healing eventually taught her something surprising: we’re wounded in relationship, and we often heal in relationship—but talking alone isn’t always enough. In this episode, Annie shares: Why safe relationships can heal wounds caused by broken relationshipsHow family dysfunction can make receiving love difficultWhy movement, martial arts, breathing, and nature became part of her healingThe path from self-knowledge → self-possession → self-giftHow to find a person or place where you finally feel safe enough to exhaleIf you’ve done a lot of thinking or talking about your past but still feel anxious, guarded, or stuck, this episode is for you. Resources: 👉 Learn more about Annie Sarlo and her whole-person coaching: anniesarlo.org https://sandamianocoaching.com 👉 Join the waitlist for our new healing program for young adults impacted by their parents’ divorce or family dysfunction: https://restoredministry.com/program  👉 Get the free guide: 10 Tips to Help Someone Whose Parents Are Separating or Divorcing: https://restoredministry.com/10tips  Shownotes

  4. Aug 12

    Narcissistic Parent: How to Heal When Dysfunction Felt Normal | Mickela : #181

    When dysfunction is all you know, it can feel normal. For Michaela, growing up with a narcissistic father meant fear, control, walking on eggshells, protecting her younger siblings, and even parenting her own parents. For years, she didn’t realize how unhealthy her family dynamics were. It wasn’t until she encountered healthy families that she began to see how different love could look. In this episode, Michaela shares how those relationships helped reshape her understanding of family, love, boundaries, and healing. We talk about: Why unhealthy family dynamics can feel normal when you grow up inside themWhat it’s like growing up with a narcissistic and controlling parentHow healthy families and mentors can show you a different way to loveHow to stop carrying responsibility for everyone around youWhy forgiveness doesn’t always require reconciliationIf you grew up with a narcissistic, abusive, or deeply dysfunctional parent and want to build something healthier, this episode is for you. Resources Mentioned Free Guide: 7 Ways to Work Through the Pain of Your Parents’ Divorce Book: It’s Not Your Fault Share Your Story with Restored

  5. Jul 28

    The Divorce Mistakes That Hurt Children Most | Erica Komisar : #180

    Divorce is traumatic for children at every age—but parents can either deepen that wound or help their children heal. In this conversation, licensed clinical social worker and psychoanalyst Erica Komisar explains why a “good divorce” requires parents to stop focusing on what feels fair to them and start prioritizing what their children actually need. She shares practical ways to create stability, reduce emotional damage, and protect children from being pulled into adult conflict. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why frequent transitions between homes can destabilize childrenHow to tell children about a divorce without overwhelming themWhy parents must avoid oversharing, badmouthing, and using children as messengersHow a parent’s emotional regulation affects a child’s ability to copeWhy flexibility, sacrifice, and stability matter more than rigid ideas of fairnessIf you’re divorced, considering divorce, or trying to help your child adjust to a family breakup, this episode is for you. Learn more about Erica Komisar, her books, and her work Get the free guide, “7 Ways to Work Through the Pain of Your Parents’ Divorce” Get the free guide, “10 Tips to Help Someone Whose Parents Are Separating or Divorcing”

  6. Jul 14

    Catholic Annulments: Questions Children of Divorce Are Afraid to Ask: Anthony St. Louis-Sanchez, JCL #179

    If your parents are divorced and seeking a Catholic annulment, it can feel confusing — and even scary. What is an annulment? Is it just “Catholic divorce”? Does it erase your parents’ marriage? And the question many children of divorce are afraid to ask: Does this mean I’m illegitimate? In this episode, I’m joined by Anthony St. Louis-Sanchez, JCL, Director of the Metropolitan Tribunal of Denver, to explain what annulments are, how the process works, and what they do — and do not — mean for the children of divorced parents. In this episode, we discuss: What a Catholic annulment actually isWhy an annulment is not the same thing as divorceWhether an annulment makes children “illegitimate”How the annulment process worksHow to cling to Christ when your family story feels confusing or painfulIf you’re a child of divorce who has ever wondered what your parents’ annulment means about your family, your identity, or your worth — this episode is for you. Free guide: 7 Ways to Work Through the Pain of Your Parents’ Divorce Book: It’s Not Your Fault Restored resources Book Anthony recommended: When Is Marriage Null? by Paolo Bianchi Shownotes

  7. Jul 2

    If God Loves Me, Why Did He Allow This Pain? | Dr. Daniel Meola: #178

    When your parents’ divorce or separation hurts deeply, it can raise painful questions about God: Where was He when my family fell apart? Why didn’t He stop it? And if faith matters so much, why didn’t it save my family? In this episode, Joey talks with Dr. Daniel Meola, co-founder of Life-Giving Wounds, about suffering, anger, grief, spiritual bypassing, and the struggle many adult children of divorce face in their relationship with God. They discuss: Why divorce can feel like abandonment by GodWhat to do when faith was used to minimize your painWhy anger and grief aren’t signs of weak faithHow to avoid getting stuck in victimhood or spiritual bypassingWhy acknowledging your pain may be the first step toward healingHow God can transform wounds into strength, love, and purposeIf you’re an adult child of divorce or separation who has ever asked, “God, where were You when my family fell apart?” this episode is for you. Learn more about Life-Giving Wounds Get the book Life-Giving Wounds: A Catholic Guide to Healing for Adult Children of Divorce or Separation Get Joey’s free guide, 7 Ways to Work Through the Pain of Your Parents’ Divorce: Get Joey’s book, It’s Not Your Fault Subscribe to the Restored podcast: Get the Book: Searching for and Maintaining Peace: A Small Treatise on Peace of Heart Get the Book: Interior Freedom Show notes

  8. Jun 16

    You Can’t Heal Without Safe People or Boundaries | Billy: #177

    When your family breaks apart, especially through years of fighting, manipulation, or emotional chaos, you can learn to survive by staying busy, shutting down, or pretending it didn’t affect you. But what happens when that pain starts showing up in your marriage, your parenting, your confidence, or the way you handle conflict? In this episode, Billy shares how her parents’ long, painful divorce began after years of intense conflict, manipulation, and isolation. She opens up about coping through overachievement, the safe adults who helped her heal, and the boundaries she’s had to learn with an unsafe parent. We discuss: Why Billy expected her parents to divorce, even as a childHow she coped by becoming highly involved, successful, and busyThe loneliness of growing up without safe adults nearbyHow one pastor’s wife helped her feel truly loved for the first timeWhy journaling helped her process, remember, and healHow her husband helped her learn to handle conflict without fearWhat boundaries with a parent can look like as an adultHow Billy is building a healthy family, even though she didn’t come from oneIf you’ve ever wondered how to honor your parents without letting them control you, or how to build something healthier than what you came from, this episode is for you. Resources Mentioned: Share Your Story with Restored:  https://restoredministry.com/story 7 Ways to Work Through the Pain of Your Parents’ Divorce or Separation: https://restoredministry.com/7ways The Gottman Institute:  https://www.gottman.com/ Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts by Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott: https://amzn.to/3PPRy9J The Anatomy of Peace by The Arbinger Institute: https://amzn.to/4aEsBVE Show notes: https://restoredministry.com/blog/177

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About

Children of divorce are 2–3 times more likely to get divorced themselves, and are more likely to struggle with emotional problems, relationship issues, and bad habits. But those stats don't get to write your story. If your parents' divorce or family dysfunction left wounds you can't always put into words, this show is for you.Restored shares real stories and expert interviews to help adult children of divorce heal childhood trauma, break generational cycles, and build the healthy marriage or relationships you've always wanted.  Each week we go straight at the questions other shows won't touch: how to set boundaries with a narcissistic or unsafe parent, how co-parenting and blended families shape kids into adulthood, what the Catholic Church actually teaches about annulment, why affairs happen and how to affair-proof a marriage, and how to stop repeating your parents' relationship patterns without meaning to.Ranked in the top 10% of all podcasts and #18 in the divorce category — the only show dedicated specifically to children of divorce — listeners say it's "more effective than 30 years of counseling." You're not doomed to repeat your family's past. You can break the cycle, and we're here to help you do it.

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