Heart & Soul

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Real conversations about love and relationships, guided by God.

  1. 10/10/2024

    A Good Relationship Between Adult Children And Parents

    Keziah Gutierrez: And I also knew in the back of my mind that my dad is getting older, my mom is getting older. McGill Onate: Once that kind of clicked to me, I was like they know so much more why am I trying to do everything myself? Hannah Limon: I’m strong now because of you two. Katrina Nicole Espiritu: Wait, I’m not crying. I’m just— Taylor Joy Lagpacan: Why am I getting so emotional right now?!  [Show intro]  Kez: Welcome to the Heart and Soul podcast, where we have honest conversations that nurture our souls. Today we’re talking about relationships with our parents as adults. As we enter adulthood, entering college or getting a first job, first apartment, our first bills, we begin to build a life for our own one that becomes a blueprint of how our lives should be. We decide who we spend our time with and what we spend our time on. But the question is, as an adult, what about our relationship with our parents? So let’s talk about it. I’m Kez G, your host for today’s episode. Let’s have a Heart and Soul conversation. [Music]  Kez: I am also joined by my co-hosts today from all over the world. McGill, from Canada, Katrina from the Philippines, Hannah from California, and Taylor from San Diego.  Co-Hosts: Hello. Hi.  Kez: And of course, we’d like to welcome Brother Donald Pinnock, a Minister of the Gospel in the Church Of Christ. Hello, Brother Donald!  Brother Donald Pinnock: Hi. This is going to be a very, very interesting and insightful conversation for sure. Kez: So today we’re talking about our parents, our relationship with our parents. Especially now as we’re all living in our 20s. We’re all 20 years old and above, and all of us, all your co-hosts are in different stages.  And, you know, in movies, once you graduate high school, we hear about, or the movies show people our age packing our things, moving out to colleges or leaving the nest and then going out there in the world and doing our own thing. So here’s a question I’d like to ask us to start us off: Thinking about your own relationship with your parents, how involved are your parents in the decisions that you make as a young adult? I’m actually going to start off with Taylor, how [is] your relationship with your parents? And when you started, you know, start making your own decisions? you know, buying your first car and everything. How involved were they? Taylor: Very involved is the quick answer. I would…I feel like it’s safe to say that my parents have been very involved with my decisions, you know, forever, my entire life. And, you know, I feel like I’ve just continued as I grew into adulthood. But right now, at this point in my life, you know, I’m working, I’m trying to become more financially stable on my own. And at this point, I feel like my parents are definitely not as involved as they were, let’s say 2 or 3 years ago, but they are still involved in the sense that they ask me, every now and then, like how I’m doing with work, how I’m doing in terms of reaching my financial goals, other goals in my life. So, they’re still very involved in the sense that they show me that they’re still interested in what’s going on in my life, but they’re not going to pry for answers from me.  Kez: I’m similar as well. They just ask me how I’m going with my adult life. When I was younger, I would ask, you know, can I, can we eat out at a restaurant and my mom would say, you have food at home and now as an adult. I mean, the other day I was pretty much driving back home from work, and I saw, like, a fast food joint, and I’m like, I’m kind of hungry right now. Like, you know, Should I get some junk-Should I get some, like, you know, some food on the way? Because it is just on the way home. And I just thought to myself, do I want to spend $12 on a large meal when I, when at home, I can just literally cook the same thing? Taylor: So relatable. I feel that every single day, Kez!  Kez: Yeah! And then I told and I found myself going, oh, I have food at home I like. And I just drove. I was like, no, I didn’t stop for the fast food restaurant. And then I just think, oh, I owe my mom a huge apology for all the times I like, begged her and she and I would go “You never treat me out. Why? I don’t want food at home.” I understand now. I’m like, I’m not wasting 12 bucks like that. $12 can go for something else, you know. Taylor: I love how my conversations with my parents like it clearly shifted. I could feel a clear shift. As I started entering adulthood. Specifically, I noticed this shift once I started working, you know, like making my own money and start, building a financial foundation for myself. That is the time my conversations with my parents started feeling so adult. That’s the best way I can describe it. My mom and I, we just started talking, prior to me working, my mom never really delved into her work life with me. Like telling me things that are going on in her work or goals that she has in her career. But then when I started working, that’s something we would bond over, us talking about what’s going on in our offices. Like she would tell me what’s going on and I would tell her, of course. Yeah, I’m experiencing something similar at my work. So it was cool that…I could there was something else my mom and I could talk about and with my dad. Oh, definitely. My dad is actually, he is an accountant in terms of his work, and he specializes in taxes. So you can imagine we started having lots of tax conversations. So, I appreciate how my parents have recognized that I am at that much more mature stage in my life. You know, where I don’t necessarily rely on them for everything I can provide for myself for certain things. And, in response to that, they understand that they can talk to me, much more maturely.  Kez: And I know Hannah, you actually live away from your parents. Am I still correct on that?  Hannah: You’re correct! So actually, I am…well, I’m still living in my family home here in San Diego. And, like you’ve mentioned, Kez, my parents, they’re actually, in another country for my dad’s line of work. So actually, when the time came, when I moved away for college, I went to another city, in Irvine, which is an hour away. they were still involved here and there where they would visit me. They would already, provide, you know, any groceries and such, even though I don’t ask. But when it does come to big decisions such as finances, employment, past relationships, challenges or decisions, I would always defer to my parents. But for them, it’s more of, they know I’m independent enough to make my own decisions, but they always reassure that they’re there for support and to, you know, guide me. They’re not as forceful or like what Taylor said to pry, like, you know, what do you need? What do you need? Help? What are you struggling with? So, you know, I appreciate that independence because of course, you know, as dire as it sounds, of course, they may not be around as long Kez: And what about you, Kat?  Kat: My parents are pretty involved as well, so I’m always consulting my decisions when it comes to work and the Church. So I’m always consulting them and they’re likely to give me such advice that I need too, so that I can decide not only on my own, but also depending on what they advise to me. That’s our relationship with my parents. Kez: And McGill, what about you? Did you have something similar where you had to make choices or and your parents stepped in to help out? McGill: Yes, actually, in terms of like, career paths, and everything, God bless my parents, they are like, honestly couldn’t ask for anything, like, more, because what they really did and helping me choosing my career path for me, as I’m, you know, as we all are, I’m sure there’s been a point where, you know, we’re trying to figure out what we want to do with our career path, what we want to have as a future job.  And for me, I really didn’t know what I wanted to be. I had completely no clue in school. I was just doing my academics, and whatnot, I didn’t really have something that sparked interest.  And so, when choosing a college or university, I asked my mom, “What should I do? I really don’t know what I want to do” My mom, but she said, she said to me, “Oh, how about try IT, Information Technology. You like computers right?” And I really didn’t have anything against that, because I had no idea what I wanted to do.  So I went ahead into go into IT, and I absolutely did not like it. And I studied for like a month, a month! And then I got out of there!  God bless my parents, they were super supportive of me. They’re like: “Hey, if you don’t like it, you don’t like it and then you just find something else.”  So over the course of maybe a couple of months, trying to find myself, I was just working, I was talking to a sister in the Church. And they, they mentioned to me like: “Hey, don’t you like video games? Why don’t you get into video games and video game development?”  And I’m just like I never really thought of that. Yes, I enjoy video games. I never really thought about creating them. And so I did some research and then I brought I’d have to my parents, like, hey, what if I actually get into video game development?  And they’re just like, hey, if you find that there’s something that you like more than IT, go ahead.  Kez: Well actually, McGill, I wanted to ask a follow up question for that. And you’re, you know, like those more creative fields, like video games, and animation, those are, you know, they’re quite competitive in the field from what I know. And I’m sure you know as well. How did you feel when you first approached your parents going, ‘I want to change to like a career in video games?’  McGill: Yeah, that’s actually a really great question. Bec

    1h 1m

  2. 09/26/2024

    The Value Of Having Patience

    Kiara Rabara: Okay, maybe this is not what God wants for me yet. Maybe He has another plan for me McGill Onate: So knowing all of that, it’s like I have a safety net and I could freely fall. God will catch me  Marco Mangada: That’s extra time for you to become worthy, or at least be prepared to receive such a blessing. Bernadette Fernandez: And God will show you your way out to a better and happier life. You just got to trust him. [Show intro]  Marco: Hello, everyone. Welcome to the new season of Heart And Soul podcast, where we have honest conversations that nurture our souls. Today we’re asking about how to have patience. Patience in knowing what major to study. Then fast forward in life so we can finally finish school. Then patience in landing the right job. The list goes on and on.  So how can we be patient? While waiting for answers to our prayers. Let’s talk about it. I’m Marco, your host for today’s episode. Let’s have a Heart And Soul conversation. [Music] Marco: And with me today, are co-hosts coming from different parts of the world. Beautiful people coming from Canada, California and Florida. We have McGill, Bernadette and Kiara. Hello, guys!  McGill: What’s up everyone?  Kiara: Hey.  Bernadette: Hi. What’s up?  Marco: Pleasure having you guys right here. Let’s go! Let’s keep this energy going. So, yeah, before we start, I would like for you guys to take a quick moment to breathe in and breathe it out. Can we do it all together, guys? Yeah, let’s do it. Cool. So. Breathe in. Hold it in and breathe out.  So, take it slow. Everything’s going to be okay. We’re here for you. And the reason why we’re saying that is because we know how fast everything is at the moment. And what better way to remind us of the value of patience is having more patience other than to have a conversation with good people. And for spiritual guidance, since this is Heart And Soul, where we always aspire to stay grounded with the teachings from the Bible. We have a Minister of the Gospel, Brother Donald Pinnock. Hi, Brother Donald.  Brother Donald Pinnock: Hey, Brother Marco and everybody else. It’s a great pleasure to be with you in our discussion.  Marco: I am so starstruck at the moment, so let’s keep this going. So there have been a lot of talks about how to achieve certain things in life, be it finding the perfect person to be in a relationship with, getting the perfect job that actually pays well, and maybe graduating in a course that leads you to your ideal career. But the thing that ties all of those together is how you can be patient for all those things to eventually happen. So kind of like an icebreaker to keep the conversation going. What specific event or thing made you be in a situation to be patient or be tested in patience? Let’s start with Kiara.  Kiara: Hello, everyone. So actually very recently, this past year, I found out I was supposed to graduate in December. And, just because of a couple of things, I came up some some issues with school, ended up being pushed to an extra semester, which is like an extra couple, 6, 4 to 6 months and it’s really difficult to try and kind of keep up with that because when you know, you’re super, super close to the goal, like, we’re already in April and I was counting down the months to December. And then another four months got added and it just felt like another year. So like my reaction to having to wait a little bit longer. It was just very, very difficult for me to process. Marco: A follow up question, though, you think people are more impatient when they know what they want, when it’s closely approaching? Kiara: 100%. I do think that people are impatient and speaking from personal experience, being really, really close to the finish line, and then if it gets pushed further away, I think it it adds a lot of feelings that it also kind of discourages you from even wanting to reach that goal anymore, because it’s like if it’s going to take this long, it’s going to take longer. Again, what if this happens again? We’re just extended time. There’s more and more time that’s added to it. And it just kind of built up the impatience.   Marco: And how about you, Bernadette?  Bernadette: I feel like my whole life is patient, randomly, everywhere. I can just. I just can’t even decide what specific situation where my patience was tested. I was looking for a different job; I was originally studying music, and then I switched to media because that was the only way I could graduate on time and not be fined for staying too long in school. And somehow I ended up in the medical field with no background in biology or any health care whatsoever. But there I was, going upstairs to all of these other cancer patients, taking their blood, processing their information, and scurrying down to a fluorescent basement where I just typed all of their results and then sent them off to different companies. And then now I’m at this random job where I somehow ended up in HR, and I’ve never even studied business or anything that has to do with HR. But somehow I ended up there without realising I was applying for that.  Marco: Yeah, that is truly tough. How about you, McGill? You seem to have something in mind.  McGill: I think maybe for this moment right now, I am in a situation where I am going to be patient about something, which is, I’m sure, which is on a lot of other people’s plate is, finding their career job. Currently, I want to look for something in the animation field, in the art field. And right now, I don’t have anything going for me right now. So, constantly, working on my skills in the field and, you know, looking for different places, maybe going on social media, within all of that. Just got to wait for that one day where something amazing will happen and a career job will show itself. But, yeah, that’s kind of what I could think about for me, being patient for something. Marco: So the reason for the question was because of this article that I read relating to people’s behaviour when it comes to patience. So this is an Open Access Research. And you can actually access through journals.sagepub.com. It is a research project called “Impatience Over Time”. It’s by Annabelle R. Roberts. And if you boil down the entire research, there are three factors that can contribute to how someone’s patients could be affected. So, before we go into those three factors where we try to digest everything that could contribute to someone’s impatience, let’s ask what the Bible says. So, Brother Donald Pinnock, what is patience and why is God’s timing something that we should also consider when waiting for the result of a prayer or a full plan?  Brother Donald: Well, if we were to consult the dictionary when it comes to the meaning of patience, we may read the following. The ability to wait or to continue doing something despite difficulties, or to suffer without complaining or becoming annoyed. We know that the Bible often makes mention of the importance of possessing and developing or nurturing the characteristic of patience. Ultimately, when it comes to attaining salvation and as we make our way through this world, patiently waiting for God to answer our many, many prayers, whether it be our prayers for a new occupation, our prayers when it comes to our studies, the list goes on and on. And if anyone would ask why a person should wait patiently for God to answer their prayers, well, He states the following here through the prophet Jeremiah in Jer. 29:11. We can read the following: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” [Jeremiah 29:11] Brother Donald: Please notice that God has the best in mind for His people. Yes, plans for our bright future. Those plans of God are for every aspect of our life. So when it was mentioned earlier about how we were tested, when it comes to patience, let us always remember that the Lord our God does have an answer. All the more we should place our hope and trust in him, and also why we should wait patiently on him for our prayers to be answered”. Marco: Thank you, Brother Donald. So when we go back to actually writing this episode, it actually came from something that Sister Aliw Pablo from Making Changes, you should go check out that podcast, as well. When we were talking about generational differences, one of the major differences was how it seems like the latest generation seems to be more impatient than ever. They change from one career to another, jumping from one need to another. It seems like with all that is convenient in this world, be it getting anything in an instant, ordering food, ordering stuff online, what movie you want to watch. No one really stands in any lines these days; so maybe except going to the grocery store. So I just want to ask you guys, do you agree that people will allow themselves to do more just to achieve what they want as soon as possible? Or will they submit themselves to this whole waiting, doing what they usually do? What do you think, Bernadette? Bernadette: I think it’s very split. It really depends on one’s lifestyle. I notice that a lot of people who are really into social media or, into digesting fast content in general; they have a hard time waiting. And you could definitely see that in the Bay Area in California, where people will drive insanely fast or will cut people off just to reach their exit, when they could have just simply waited a little longer, to reach their exit. But then other people who have other hobbies tend to slow down a little bit more when it comes to daily tasks or tasks at work, or if they’re trying to learn a new skill, they take everything step by step. But yeah, that’s what I’ve noticed. McGill: I actually agree with Bernadette here. But I can say from personal

    50 min

  3. 09/12/2024

    Spiritual Care is Self Care

    Katrina Nicole Espiritu: Spiritual care is the best self care that they can make in their every day lives. Hannah P. Limon: You know, not being stuck so much with what I feel I can try to do, but more so on what God can do for me. Nikki Custodio: You know, I think God takes great care of us in a way that we are still able to manage our day to day lives. Keziah Gutierrez: I think put God first and everything will follow.   [Show intro]  Hannah: Welcome to the Heart and Soul podcast, where we have honest conversations that nurture our souls. And this is the start of our brand new season. So excited to have Heart and Soul back. And today we’re talking about something a lot of us think about doing, but maybe can’t find time to do that. We’re talking about self-care, how it can help us, calm us, soothe us. But is there such a thing as too much self-care? And how can spiritual care be self-care? So let’s talk about it. I’m Hannah, your host for today’s episode, let’s have a Heart and Soul conversation. [Music]  Hannah: I’m so excited to kick off this new season. I’m not going to lie, it’s crazy because for most of us, we’ve been listeners of Heart and Soul, and here we are. It’s quite a journey, and with me are also my fellow co-hosts Kat from the Philippines, Kez from Australia and Nikki here in the States, actually in California. Hi, ladies. Nikki: Hello, hi! Kez: Hello, good morning! Kat: Hello.  Hannah: So self-care, what do you all do for your form of self-care in your everyday lives? Just to let you all think about it real quick. Here’s a source according to Psychology Today: [Source: psychologytoday.com] “Self care in essence is the mindful taking of time to pay attention to you, not in a narcissistic way, but in a way that ensures that you are being cared for by you.”  Hannah: So now we got a fair sense of what self-care is defined as by various sources around the world. So for us four here, how strongly would you all say that self-care has been integrated into our feeds? So let me start off with Kez from Australia, hi! Kez: Okay, so for me, my self-care is actually quite different I think from everybody, my self-care is silence. That’s because of my line of work. I’m a teacher, and Hannah I know you’re a teacher too.  Hannah: Oh yes. In elementary, though. You’re in high school, right? Kez: Yes, I’m a high school teacher. But it’s still the same. It’s a lot of noise. You do get over-stimulated noise. So my form of self-care is just to sit down somewhere and just be quiet. Hannah:  Relax. Be in the presence.  Kez: Yeah, but, you know, doing that as well kind of helps me kind of just, like, calm down everything. Because I’ve got a lot of things to think about at work. And just gives me time to just kind of just take a break. So just take a brain break, as we say in the classroom. And so sometimes I just let my mind wander on just things: What am I going to cook for dinner tonight? Or what show should I watch at the end of the day? Hannah: Yes, I know it. And same here. It’s also, it’s my dream job to just be in the classroom and teach. For younger students, they’re still understanding the world, and there’s just so much that they need to develop in their, you know, in their minds. But I get what you mean. There’s so many decisions we make in our jobs and for people in our age, there’s also many decisions we make as well, even in our studies. So of course, there’s just times when we just need to relax, take a breather. So, of course, I know there’s others who do, more active ways to take care of themselves through self-care. So let me ask Kat, hello from the Philippines. So what is it that you do to take care of your needs just for yourself?  Kat: Oh Hannah, here in the Philippines the usual thing in the work is five days work in a week, eight hours each day. So it’s really stressful. But self-care, my form of self-care: taking time for myself, I probably strive to jog every week and catch up with my friends, and of course, I love journaling. That’s how I take time for myself.  Hannah: Yeah, like self-reflection. You know, some common ways others have, practice self-care is, you know, journaling. Just reflecting on how the day goes. I’d say even what you said, Kat reflecting with friends. You know, sometimes we, you know, we vent or we talk to our friends just to give updates in our lives, you know, like, how often do you see your friends when it’s after work? You know, you’re still tired, but you just want to see your friends, Kat.  Kat: Actually, my friends are always asking “When will you be available? You’re always busy Kat.” You’re going to relate to me, like, I was at work on weekdays and Church duties at weekends. So probably the other time around is for home chores, so I don’t have any time to catch up with friends. So when [I’m] catching up with friends they will message me that “Kat, are [you] available at this time. Oh no. How about this time?” So we’ll be conversing about our availability. So we’re going to talk about anything about us. About everything, especially about Church, about our Church duties. Because most of my friends are Church members. Hannah: Yes, I agree. And it’s just I feel we can all relate. Adulting, right? But it’s so hard! We literally have to take the time to schedule with our friends because of our clashing schedules. But, you know, that’s part of self-care, right? You’re setting aside the time. You’re dedicating all that effort to be with your friends, not only for them, but even for yourself. You know, it’s just, how do you say it’s just a breath of fresh air when you get to just, not be with yourself so much, even though that’s not bad, but even be with good company. So, yes, I, I get what you mean. Kat. Especially from, you know, different sides of the world. It’s all the same challenges that we face as young adults. Now how about you, Nikki? So, whether your work hours have changed or it’s still the same with trying to find the time. How have you managed with self-care, whether for yourself or even just reaching out to others and the like?  Nikki: Oh man, this is such a great topic. I think self-care is extremely important. I kind of draw from, from everyone here. So, I know Kez said silence, right? So for me, I like reflecting, I like reflecting, sometimes deep in my thoughts and I like to tie it back to the blessings God has given me. So, I want to constantly be in a state of gratitude. So there’s that. And I know Kat mentioned journaling, which is funny because I actually love to journal. I love writing down my thoughts after I think about it. So yes, I love journaling. also reflecting back and reading on those journal entries, and it also shows me how much I’ve grown throughout the past couple of months or even years. I’ve been journaling for a couple of years now. But personally, for me, I’ve been doing this new thing for self-care. I’ve been going on more walks. So yes. Yeah. So before I used to go to the gym, here and there, but there’s just something I prefer about going on outdoor walks. The sun is just beaming on my face, and I go to this park, I put on a podcast, you know, and I listen to music, and I just walk. And next thing you know, I’m just walking for three, four miles just— Hannah: Oh wow, got carried away. Nikki: I just got carried away. Yes. So, you know, integrating everyone’s answers, yes, self-care. That’s how I’ve been practicing it recently. Hannah: I relate to that. I feel I need to be more accountable with, just physical activity overall. I feel I make excuses like, well, I walk around a lot at work when I pick up my groups of students, but, even then I would relate to, like, walking, just being outside, even at my school site. It’s such a nice place, especially now that it’s getting warmer, the sun’s out. But I get what you mean. Just dedicating that time to be out and about, being active. But now back to the main question. I did ask, and I feel that we’ve touched upon it here and there in our responses. So we’re focusing on the correlation between self-care and spiritual care for most of us here. We’ve mentioned, you know, most of our friends, we see them at church, whether in our multiple responsibilities. We talk about our spiritual beliefs with our friends. And even, something that I can share, when I meditate or pray, whether my devotional prayer or even in the service, there’s times when, of course, I’m always in a state of gratitude. But there’s times when I also reflect too, with, you know, whether I need to find guidance in something or just think out my thoughts, you know, while in a dedicated place of worship. And, you know, we hear the hymns playing and it’s just that moment of peace where I can deeply reflect. So actually, just holding on to that thought, let’s open up our Hearts and Souls by asking what the Bible says with our guest here, Brother Donald, a Minister of the Gospel. So hello, Brother Donald, how are you?  Brother Donald Pinnock: Hi, sisters. How’re you doing? I’m really enjoying your conversation so far. I want to point to Sister Nikki, who mentioned about when it comes to, you know, her exercise regimen because when it comes to self-care and spiritual care, there is a connection. There’s a correlation. I think you asked that a little earlier. And to prove this, let’s read I Timothy 4:8. This is a declaration of the Apostle Paul when he says this:  Physical exercise has some value, but spiritual exercise is valuable in every way, because it promises life both for the present and for the future. [I Timothy 4:8 Today’s English Version] Brother Donald: So the Bible clearly teaches about physical exercise and spiritual exercise. Both forms of exercise are very, very important. But of course, when it comes

    1 hr

  4. 06/15/2023

    What is a Wellness Journal

    What Is A Wellness Journal  [Cold Open] Bernadette: I always try to end one of my entries with love. Why do I care about them so much and what has made me so angry? And then why do I still love this person so much?  McGill: With every writing session let me write something that actually matters to me. Let me write something that I will actually benefit from. Brother Donald: Keeping a record of what we go through in our daily life and trying to, not only assess, but work to improve. Well, all the more when it comes to our service to God and utilizing his teachings wisely. [Heart and Soul Introduction]  Gretchen: You’re listening to Heart and Soul, a podcast from the Iglesia Ni Cristo (Church Of Christ). I’m one of your hosts, Gretchen Asuncion. And it’s here where we have real conversations with friends who are helping each other reach the best Christian version of themselves. This is Heart and Soul. Gretchen: Hey, everyone! It’s Gretchen. With me today are our hosts, Bernadette. Hey, Bernadette.  Bernadette: Hi Gretchen! How are you?  Gretchen: I am good. Staying warm or trying to at least. How are you? Bernadette: I’m alright. Gretchen: Also we have McGill. Hi, McGill. How are you today? McGill: I am pretty good. I feel good. I hope you feel good as well Gretchen.  Gretchen: I do. Thank you. Thank you. McGill: Awesome. Awesome. Gretchen: And of course, we have a minister of the Gospel. Brother Donald Pinnock. Hello, Brother Donald, thank you so much for joining us.  Brother Donald: Hi, Gretchen, Bernadette and McGill. I’m very very happy to be with you right now. Gretchen: Awesome. Now, before I start here, I know many of us take notes during worship service. So why do we take notes during worship service? Is it something that inspires us, especially with the verses? You know, how is it that we give importance as we take notes during the worship service? McGill: Personally, what I think the the nice benefits of taking notes during worship service is that it’s a nice reminder, right? With notes, it’s a nice reminder about everything that really happened during the worship service. And then you could reflect on your day-to-day if it if there’s anything that you can learn from or to improve yourself as a person. Bernadette: For myself, when I take notes for the worship service, I take the overall idea and the verses that I could remember, and I put it on paper, and then I compare it to my week. And then I try to look for what is God trying to tell me in the lesson. Gretchen: Awesome. Well, I do take notes as well. So kind of helps me,  kind of conclude exactly what the worship service is. And they really do inspire me. So today we’re going to talk about wellness journals and their value in keeping track of and giving importance to the words of God we regularly receive. What is a wellness journal? And how do we start? And is it in line with what God wants for us? So with that, do you guys know what a wellness journal is? I guess, like how could you when you hear the term wellness journal? What is your definition of it? McGill: Oh, well, this is the first time I’ve really heard that a wellness journal is actually a thing. But based on what it sounds like, it sounds like a diary or a journal that you probably just write down your feelings or stuff to keep track of how your day is going or just to keep track of like how are you doing in your life? And so you can look back on the days that you’ve written and just see how you’ve grown. Bernadette: I really like McGill’s definition of a wellness journal! It’s pretty close to mine. I think for me, I kind of split it up to not just like the emotions, but also the cause and effect of what would happen in a singular day, and then, and I can also split it up to not just emotions, but a physical journal or a spiritual journal. Gretchen: Okay. So we have similar definitions as far as what a wellness journal is. So, a regular journal is usually intended for writing out events and emotions, which I sometimes gravitate to. But then a wellness journal helps keep track of our well-being and goals along with emotions and events, which I feel like I have a mix of both. So when it comes to our wellness, the first thing I think of is the words of God. We attend worship service twice a week, and while life can get pretty busy for us, I think our worship service notes are part of our wellness journals. You know, when it comes to maintaining our wellness, journals do an amazing job at tracking our growth. So why would anyone want to create a wellness journal?  “Ultimately, a wellness journal reduces anxiety and the panicky feeling associated with keeping all those crazy to-do lists in your head.  You get it all organized on paper and create solid, doable wellness goals”, guided by God’s word’s we received. [Source: https://sophieuliano.com/wellness-bullet-journal/] Gretchen: So from my understanding of wellness Journal is meant to help you look at all areas of your life. So movement, sleep, relationships and it helps you reflect on where you are and where you want to be. But it’s understandable if the Wellness Journal looks different for everyone! It’s supposed to cater to your goals. So I want to emphasize on how these journals are ways to help us reduce anxiety and overwhelming emotions and worship service has given us that outlet. I know that remembering these lessons are vital for me to get through life. So, how do you start your wellness journal? Do you guys have any techniques that you use for journaling? I know, Bernadette, you mentioned that you do have journals. Bernadette: Yes! So what I do after the worship service, once I get home, I write what I remember from the lesson, and then at the bottom kind of compare what I’ve been going through throughout the week and kind of figure out what exactly God is trying to show me through the lesson, comparing it with my own life. Gretchen: Okay, nice. So, Brother Donald, what does the Bible say about having a wellness journal? Brother Donald: Well, I’m glad you asked that, Sister Gretchen, because when it comes to a wellness journal per say, there’s nothing wrong with it. It can definitely help when it comes to all aspects of our life to make sure that we are doing well. I’m going to relate the phrase wellness and wellness journal when it comes to actually self-reflection, because when it comes to us, members of the Church Of Christ, that self-reflection and also that introspective look of our, most especially, relationship with the Lord our God, and not just our personal goals or ambitions in life is very, very important. Because we know, as members of the Church, our ultimate wellness level is to be worthy of attaining salvation. This is why we are admonished to do the following as we can read in Romans chapter 12, verse 2: Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. [Romans 12:2 The Message]  Brother Donald: So keeping track of how we are doing in the many aspects of our life can of course be very, very beneficial. Keeping track on how we are doing when it comes to our relationship with God is of far greater importance since the success that we yearn for will ultimately come from Him and not just ourselves. Gretchen: I really like that. How you started from wellness into that self-reflection. So our well-being, right, we have to take care of ourselves. Brother Donald: That’s right. Gretchen: So of course we have to reflect on how we are. Brother Donald: How we’re doing. Exactly. Gretchen: Exactly. And then how our Almighty God does guide us in our well-being. So hopefully we can get you in starting a wellness journal. Maybe this is that outlet, that new thing where it’s like it it opens up your mind, if you will. McGill: Yeah, for sure! God, God puts things in the way of me and to show me something and I think this is what He wants me to try is maybe try a wellness journal.  Gretchen: This is true. So we’re going to help you and those who are listening on how to start a wellness journal.  Step 1: Find a Journal Gretchen: Yes, a journal. That’s one way to start, right? McGill: Find a journal. Yeah, for sure. Pen and paper. You’ve got to start somewhere. Gretchen: Exactly! So, when you find a journal—for me, I gravitate towards something that either fits my style or even if it has, like, the pages that are that have little quotes. McGill: It’s got to look cute. It’s definitely got to look cute. Gretchen: Cute, but minimalist would be my style. Bernadette: I’m all about the pastel colors and for my adventure books all about green. Gretchen: I like it!  McGill: Nice.  Gretchen: They’re very positive and bright colors and… mellow. Kind of keeping a chill, so that if you need to, you know, calm yourself, it’s like, okay, let me… let me open up my journal here. So, when you do start and find that journal, that’s when you’ll conduct your self-reflection. So being honest with yourself and determining where you are and where you want to be in life. So, tomorrow in a week, month, even a year or two from now, maybe that three-year plan is going to be in process. So, Bernadette, what kind of wellness journal do you have? Bernadette: I have actually a lot! It’s kind of it’s kind of silly. So, I mean, I do I did talk about the spiritual journal that I have. I do have a physical journal where I include my workouts and how those make me feel afterwards. But my favorite journal that I have and I haven’t really gotten to fill it up this year is my adventure

    37 min

  5. 11/03/2022

    Friendships [REWIND]

    Martin Zerrudo: Hey everyone, we’re back with a REWIND episode. And this conversation is a real treat because I’m joined by our Former Co-Host, Lois Paula, and Brother Jojo Bayani, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ. We asked Brother Jojo all sorts of questions about navigating our friendships. You know, this episode was recorded a few years back, but there’s a lot of useful advice here—I definitely learned a lot from this conversation—and of course, got some spiritual guidance on how to be a good friend, and the kind of friendships that we should have in our life. Here’s that conversation. [Music] Martin Zerrudo: Question number one: when it comes to courting, do we put guys before our potential one that we’re going to go for? Or do we put our girls before the one that we’re going to go for? Krystal, what are your thoughts? If you were going to go for somebody and you knew that a friend of yours had feelings for them, is that ok? How do you navigate that situation? Krystal Quarles: I would personally talk to my friend and ask ‘Hey, is this ok?’ But I’ve been on the other side and I’ve seen some of my friends really, really happy and that’s ok too. That’s totally fine. Lois: I mean, Martin and Lenner, we asked about like, you know I’m talking about you’re in a relationship and your friends need you. Your boys need you, or you want to have a guys’ night… Martin: Oh, man. I’ve had this conversation with Erica many times, where it’s just like, for me, the time that I’ve devoted to my friends, that’s time for them. And then the time that I’ve devoted to you, as my girlfriend, that’s time for you. And I don’t want to mix and match and make the other person or make you feel like that time is… is negotiable, you know? If there has to be adjustments, then that’s fine, you have to adapt. But if I’ve given this time to Erica, then that’s my time with her. Like, I’m going to give you 110% of my attention. But then if it’s a guy’s night and we needed to chill, then it’s like, that’s my time with them. Like, they also deserve my 110% affection as my friends and attention as well. I don’t know Lenner, am I crazy? Lenner Sese: No, no. Not crazy at all. At the same time, on my part, I’m understanding as well. Out of our group of friends I’m the only single guy. So I know you guys have obligations to your girlfriends. Lois: Is there anything, any guidance in the Bible about who or what we should choose over what? If we are wrong in choosing one or the other? Is there anything — any guidance that you can give unto us, so that we can make the right decisions if we are presented with that challenge in the future? Brother Jojo Bayani: Sure, Sister LP. As we mentioned in part one, I’ll use the same verse. It’s 1 Corinthians 15:33 of the Expanded version of the Bible, it’s: Do not be ·fooled [deceived; misled]: “Bad·friends [company] will ruin good ·habits [or character; morals; [1 Corinthians 15:33 Expanded Bible] Brother Jojo: I think the one of the best and one of the main guidelines that we should have in choosing our friends is to make sure that kind of friendship is based on how we should be living our lives, in accordance to the teachings of God. And how do you know when one is either a bad friend or a good friend? Well, the Bible says bad friends will indeed ruin good character, morals, [and] good habits. And we can translate – simply translate – habits or character or morals to what we’ve learned. Let that be our measurement stick in basing the kind of friendships that we have with members of the Church Of Christ and even those who are not members of the Church Of Christ. I remember when I was younger I had wonderful friends who didn’t share the same beliefs. They were not in the same religion, not in the Church Of Christ. But I knew they were good friends because they respected my beliefs. And they didn’t try to steer me in the wrong direction. Martin: It really just boils down to that, that verse. If they’re good friends, then they’re not going to make you do bad things. And if they’re bad friends, then you probably shouldn’t be friends with them. Lois: So, what if we have a good friend – what if we love them and they have great intentions – we also have been blessed with a relationship in our lives, we have a great boyfriend or girlfriend, but they don’t get along. Or there’s something of one party who doesn’t like something of the other party. Martin: Yeah. Sometimes your friends don’t like the one you’re with. Lois: Or sometimes the one you’re with don’t like your friends. Martin: What should we do? Brother Jojo: Colossians 3:12, perhaps, Brother Martin, would give us an insight with regard to trying to [answer]. That’s a difficult question to answer, but Colossians 3:12 of the Living Bible goes like this, the first part goes like this: Since you have been chosen by God … [Colossians 3:12 Living Bible] Brother Jojo: That’s our faith. We are the chosen people of God in these last days. Since you have been chosen by God who has given you this new kind of life, and because of his deep love and concern for you, … [Colossians 3:12 Living Bible] Brother Jojo: Here we go… … you should practice tenderhearted mercy and kindness to others. [Colossians 3:12 Living Bible] Brother Jojo: You know what? Based on – I’ve been married nearly 25 years now, brethren, so it’s been a while since I’ve dated – but as far as I can remember, when it comes to love, you’re pretty much going to love who you want to love. It doesn’t matter what your friend or your best friend says. I believe we have to keep in mind that if we have a true friend, if we have a best friend, and if they are practicing what the Bible says – being tender hearted, being merciful, being kind – they won’t mislead us based on what they see. Because sometimes when we’re in love, we can’t really see. Reality is distorted pretty much, you know?  The heart is in control and the brain goes nuts sometimes, when we’re in love. But, if you have a true friend, and you’ve had that friend for years and years, and you’ve had a wonderful experience with that friend, knowing that he or she has been there and has consistently given you good advice, of course, based on our teachings, then, when you’re in love, I think you should still listen to that friend. Because that friend, if that friend really cares about you, and that friend says something like, “well, you know, this and that,” I think, in as much as we’re in love, at the same time, I think we should be open to those advice that that our friends – our true friends – are giving us because they are our friends. This is the way that they manifest their kindness. This is how they practice their mercy by trying to tell us, based on the commandments of God, the advice that we should be receiving at that given point.  I’ve had experiences like that in the past where a good buddy says, “Well, I don’t think she’s the right person for you.” And, you know. I’m just speaking from experience. When you’re in love, you are in love. You know, even if that’s your best friend, you know, you’ll probably say something like, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Martin: Yeah. Or, “That’s not what I want to hear.” Brother Jojo: “This is the perfect woman for me,” you know? But then, in the end, when the relationship doesn’t go as you expect and you go back to your buddy and you say, “You know, thank you. Thank you for that advice that you gave me… a year ago.” Martin: Yeah. Brother Jojo: You know, they turn out to be right, especially if they are true friends basing their advice when it comes to our teachings. Martin: Thank you, Brother Jojo. Like, that’s not always something that people want to hear. They want to hear, “Well, the Bible said, you know, 1 Corinthians, love, love, love. And this is the one who I think is for me, so if God blessed me with this person, then I’m going all the way! And if you don’t support it, then you don’t support the love that God gave me!” But, like you said, it’s not always cut and dry like that. Like, sometimes you do have the rose-colored glasses on and we don’t see what’s in front of us, but our friends do. And the reminder for us to have tender hearts, that they care about us, they just want us to do well in relationships. I think that’s so important. Why do you think sometimes, Brother Jojo, that that’s hard to accept? Or that there’s some resentment? Like, oh, you’re just jealous of what we have, or you don’t understand what we have. Why do you think sometimes we have that feeling, though? Brother Jojo: Throughout my life, leading [up] to being married to Sister Vernie, prior to that, I had three serious relationships. And for relationship number one, I thought that she was the one. Relationship number two, I thought that she was the one, again. And when it came to relationship number three, when we were actually already engaged to be married, I absolutely thought that she was the one, but it turned out that she wasn’t. It’s just a difficult thing when you’re in love. As a minister, I’d like to admit that, learning from my past experiences, when you’re in love with someone, it really can – if you’re not careful –  take over just about every aspect of your life. Because when you’re in love, you’re in love! I mean, with probably the exception of religion, there comes a time when you’re deeply, deeply, madly in love, that it just takes over your whole life. And, you know, sometimes we can be blinded by that love, and in no longer believing what’s true, or in no longer accepting what would be right or appropriate or applicable for us because we’re head over heels in love with that

    26 min

  6. 08/18/2021

    Is God Leading You Into a Relationship?

    [Lead In] Martin Zerrudo: So let’s set the stage. You like them. They like you. You’re both members of the Church Of Christ and are of age to start the courting process. What do you do? Are things moving too fast? Too slow? Do things feel easy? And is the relationship progressing naturally? Or does it feel a little forced? What do your friends think? What does your family think? Is God leading you into a relationship? Or is He trying to show you some red flags?  Let’s have a Heart & Soul conversation. [Show open] Martin: Hello, everyone, hope we’re finding you well, and that you and your family continue to be safe and healthy at this time. Today, we’ll be talking about whether God is leading you into a relationship or if you’re seeing something that maybe isn’t there. A lot of our listeners in the past have reached out and asked us to talk about the one. And we definitely have, but today we’ll be focusing more on being aware of whether or not they aren’t the one. Joining us today is Brother Donald Pinnock, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ. Hi, Brother Donald, how are you today? Brother Donald Pinnock: Not too bad, Brother Martin. And thank you for having me on the program. Martin: We always love having you. So we went online and found a couple things people point to as red flags for when you may be forcing a relationship with someone. And here they are. The first one is you talk about them like they’re already your boyfriend or girlfriend, even though you aren’t. Number two, you bend over backwards for them and they never reciprocate. Number three, you defend your relationship to your friends who express concerns. Number four, you make up excuses for why they never call you or text you back right away. And lastly, you tell yourself that they’re going to want a relationship eventually, and that they will change even though they show no signs of it. So Brother Donald, why are so many youth today finding themselves in this predicament where they may be forcing a relationship that isn’t there? Brother Donald: Well, Brother Martin, there’s so many reasons. For example, there are those who, due to peer pressure, they feel compelled to have a relationship, whether it be an actual one, or, as you mentioned an imagined one, since most of their friends already have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Others may really want to have a meaningful relationship with someone. However, they’re just too fearful of approaching that individual. Of course, they’re afraid of rejection. Thus, they imagine or just assume that the other person has the same feelings for them. And they leave it at that. On the part of the females or as we call sisters in the Church, they may feel attracted to a brother, but in fear of being labeled as too forthcoming or just too aggressive, they resort to telling themselves that the individual they have a crush on has the same feelings or sentiment for them. In order to avoid creating such a scenario, however, it is very important that members of the Church keep in mind the following tenet or teaching of the Bible. And we can read the following in Proverbs 19:14: Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD. [Proverbs 19:14 New International Version]  Church Of Christ members then are taught to ask God for everything that they need, including when it comes to a suitable or prudent wife, and in fact, husband for that matter. So in order to avoid creating an awkward circumstance, due to a perceived interest of a brother or sister of the faith, and of course, vice versa, they should conduct what is called a devotional prayer, by which they can ask God to clearly show unto them who would eventually be an appropriate spouse. Martin: Is it different for men than it is for women? You know, of course, times are changing, expectations in society are shifting and certain traditions may have changed, but as members of the Church Of Christ, who should take charge in asserting feelings and making intentions known, and what happens if things don’t work out? Brother Donald: That’s a very good series of questions, Brother Martin. As we know in society, normally, it would be the male who would approach the female to express his intent. However, we can see shifting social norms. And that is why now if a female is attracted to a male, she may take the initiative to express her feelings to him. In the Church it is most likely that the male or the brother would express his intent to the sister to establish a relationship. But even during those initial stages, the following Bible teaching is taken into account. In Ephesians 6:2-3 it states:  “Respect your father and mother” is the first commandment that has a promise added: “so that all may go well with you, and you may live a long time in the land.” [Ephesians 6:2-3 Today’s English Version] To show proper respect to the parents, then, male and female members of the Church, who feel mutually compelled to get to know each other better, would approach their respective parents to ask permission first. Considering that the husband is the head of the wife, and we can read that in Ephesians 5:23,  it would be the brother who would first approach the parents of the sister, whom he intends to court, to ask permission. But he, along with the sister, they should have a righteous purpose, Brother Martin, when it comes to courting one another, as we can glean from the following citation: 2 Timothy 2:22:  Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. [2 Timothy 2:22 New King James Version] This is why Church members are not supposed to date just for the sake of dating, or to pursue satisfying youthful lust. That is why, especially on the part of the brother, he should conduct himself in the following manner. Psalm 119:9: How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. [Psalm 119:9 New International Version] The brothers should have a pure intent when it comes to courting a sister and not intend to take any undue advantage of her. The couple should treat each other respectfully, by both of them heeding the teachings of God when it comes to their relationship. Now, if I can add, Brother Martin, if in spite of the best and the purest intentions, that the brother and the sister find that they are incompatible, well, they should mutually agree to stop seeing each other and inform the respective parents of their decision. Now, of course, depending on the amount of time invested during courting, there will be a certain level of sadness and even heartbreak may be experienced at least by one, if not both the male and female or the brother and the sister. Of course, conversing with family and friends would definitely aid in mending a broken heart. All the more, however, we should pray to God, because He’s more than capable, of course, of doing the following for us. As we can read here in Psalm 34:15,17-19 New International Version: The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry; … The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all; [Psalms 34:15, 17-19 New International Version] So it is very clear, Brother Martin, that the Lord our God is more than capable to help one heal after experiencing the emotional pain of a romantic breakup. Martin: So ultimately, Brother Donald, how can we determine if God doesn’t want us to be with someone? Brother Donald: Well, we mentioned earlier the importance of conducting that devotional prayer, asking God to guide us to who would be a suitable spouse for us. It is possible that we could meet a brother or sister in the Church, but if during their getting to know each other, or their courting, there are repeated issues, arguments, misunderstandings, and a general disharmony, then it should be fairly obvious that the couple are incompatible. Again, it would be best for both parties to mutually part ways and continue to do their part in preserving what we call as the love of the brotherhood in spite of not being connected romantically. Martin: Right. I remember, Brother Donald, you know, when I was younger, I was in a relationship and it didn’t work out and of course I was broken-hearted, was very sad and you know, you feel like oh man the world’s coming to an end because this person who I cared about so much who, you know, cared about me—I guess we don’t have a future together. And in my mindset at that time in my late teens, it felt so final, it felt like this is it. Never gonna find love again. I’m gonna be alone forever because it didn’t work out with this one person. And then you know, fast forward to today. That person is happily married. I’m happily married, very cordial when we see each other at the chapel. And it just goes to show exactly what you’re talking about that the focus is on, you know, really trying to pray and read about what God is showing you. And if it doesn’t work out, to maintain that love for the brotherhood that’s so important. And I’m happy to be able to see that it, you know, it truly does pan out so long as you put your faith and trust in God, even if the relationship doesn’t end up moving forward. Brother Donald: Well, you know, when it comes to, especially experiencing what we imagine as love in our teenage years or young adulthood, and it doesn’t work out? Well, we can really say that the emotional impact is very hurting for many people.  It takes quite some time in order to recover. It feels as if, in the midst of that breakup, as if the world is just imploding upon oneself. And it really takes some time to emotionally heal, and get on wit

    19 min

  7. 08/18/2021

    Always Trust God (Especially After A Breakup)

    Always Trust God (Especially After a Breakup) [Lead In] Martin Zerrudo: Getting over a breakup isn’t easy. It can be a painful, sad and prolonged period of self-reflection. Many turn to friends, family and social media to find solace in their grief. Now when someone we care about, someone we love leaves, we’re left with so many questions. What if the answer to these questions—and about how to heal after a breakup, how to overcome a broken heart—what if they could be found in Bible verses? Let’s have a Heart & Soul conversation. [Show open] Martin Zerrudo: Last year, I was able to talk to a listener, let’s call her Jaya. Jaya is in her late 20s and lives in Anaheim, California. And at the time of our conversation, Jaya and her boyfriend, we’ll call him Blake, were very much in love. [Heart & Soul Listener] He was always someone that I was able to talk to really well, because we had a lot of common interests at the same time. We didn’t really have any problems like butting heads about things. We were always able to talk about anything. Martin: While some might find this rare, it’s because they’ve known each other for years and shared a common interest. [Heart & Soul Listener] We’ve actually known each other for a really long time. We’ve known each other for maybe like over a decade. We’ve always been really, really good friends. Yeah, we were really good friends. We fed off of each other really well. Simple things like you know, playing video games together. That was something we always did. That was something we always enjoyed. Martin: Jaya actually had feelings for Blake, but he didn’t feel the same at the time. Fast forward to now, when Blake confessed his feelings for Jaya, she had a funny way of responding. [Heart & Soul Listener] Yeah, 10 years ago, he rejected me. I remember exactly what he said to me 10 years ago. I kinda remember word for word, what he said to me. He said, like, “Oh, well, this is awkward.” I was like I said, and so, you know, when it happened again, like when he came around, and he was saying [he had feelings for me] Yeah, I jokingly, like [replied] well, this is awkward. Martin: Like the rest of the world, when the pandemic happened, their relationship would hit a brick wall, as their ability to spend time with each other was severely impacted.  [Heart & Soul Listener] We had ended up not seeing each other, but we were definitely a lot more sensitive. When we weren’t communicating, it was hurting us more. Things got really messy. Martin: They would have a big fight, their first in their relationship. And then Blake would send a text message that changed everything. [Heart & Soul Listener] Just had like our first I don’t know if I call it a fight, but it was really the moment things really fell apart. Martin: They wouldn’t talk for three months.  [Heart & Soul Listener] Yeah, I think we’re done. That’s all that was said.  Martin: Joining us now is Brother Donald Pinnock, a minister of the gospel of the Church Of Christ. Brother Donald, thank you so much for joining us today. How are you? Brother Donald Pinnock: Oh, I’m not too bad. Thank you, Brother Martin, for having me. Martin: Thank you for joining us again, trusting God after a breakup, Brother Donald, is what we all should do. But help our listeners put that into context. What does the Bible exactly say about dealing with a broken heart? Brother Donald: Well, first of all, Brother Martin, as we know, having one’s heart emotionally broken, is of course very, very painful. The time it takes to mend a broken heart varies from person to person. But if there is a common experience, it is that a feeling even physically ill at the deepest point of exasperation. In order to aid in the healing of a broken heart, Church Of Christ members are reminded of the following in Psalms 34:18 it states: The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.  [Psalm 34:18 New King James Version] So members of the Church Of Christ are reminded to turn to God at all times. But most especially when they feel down, despondent or brokenhearted, because as the Bible teaches, God is near to His servants, whether it is because of their disappointment in failed aspirations, or even when it comes to a relationship, that in spite of their best efforts, it just didn’t work out. And of course, the most ideal way of turning to God is through prayer. And those who do so with a contrite or sincere spirit, the Bible teaches that God will hear and God will save them. Just how God will save those who are downtrodden and hurting emotionally is explained here in I Peter 5:6-7:  Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.  [I Peter 5:6-7: New International Version] Now, when it comes to our Almighty God, He may utilize instruments in uplifting us from the doldrums we find ourselves in. But He is the ultimate reason why we will be able to emerge from such a precipice and be able to get on with our lives with optimism. And that’s important. Martin: So while we are not immune to heartbreak, what do members of the INC or Iglesia Ni Cristo, have that can help them during such a period of pain and sadness? Brother Donald:  Brother Martin it’s none other than our faith in God. And when we say faith meaning to say we place all our hope, and also our confidence in what He can do for us, because we trust that God will never abandon His chosen people, as we can read in Isaiah 63:8-9. All the more this gives us confidence. And allow me to quote: The LORD said, “They are my people; they will not deceive me.” And so he saved them from all their suffering. It was not an angel, but the LORD himself who saved them. In his love and compassion he rescued them. He had always taken care of them in the past, [Isaiah 63:8-9 Today’s English Version] That saving grace of God has been experienced many times by Church Of Christ members throughout their life, not just from physical dangers or perils. But even when it comes to having one’s spirit uplifted, after experiencing emotional upheavals, including heartbreak because of a failed relationship. Martin: When it comes to those failed relationships, you know, sometimes you just can’t avoid them, no matter how hard we hope that they’re going to work out. So what advice do you have, Brother Donald, for those who have recently gotten their heart broken? Why should they hold on to hope when, at this point in their life, they feel kind of hopeless? Brother Donald: There’s no doubt whatsoever that God cares so much for those who are recognized as His people or His children. And of course, He wants the very best for them in their life. That is why for those who may have experienced heartbreak, it could be that God is actually saving them from the more severe heartbreak of, for example, getting married to someone who in the initial stages of courting may have appeared to be that ideal partner, but through the passage of time and getting to know them, actually, they are not truly compatible.  We may feel emotional pain for a period of time, but not the prolonged pain of being married to someone whom we eventually find to be unbearable or impossible to live with. And of course, we would have God to thank for that. On the other hand, perhaps the parting of ways of those who were courting was just a test, it was just a trial to determine the level of their love and affection for one another, that if both parties truly love one another, well, they would reconcile, they could move on and their bond would be even stronger.  But still, we can’t gamble when it comes to our married future, but rather, we should follow what the Bible teaches here in Proverbs 19:14: Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.  [Proverbs 19:14 New International Version] Brother Martin, you know, physical and emotional compatibility, it’s important to a successful relationship. I mean, you have to feel some kind of attraction to another, is it not? But we should not base our decision when it comes to choosing a spouse on our personal assessment or not just when it comes to the physical appearance. Because love itself is not just skin deep. That is the reason why we should ask God perhaps through a devotional prayer, to grant us a prudent or suitable spouse. This is what so many Church Of Christ members have done and that is why it’s no surprise that marriages in the Church, they last until the proverbial words death do they part. May those who are not yet married, but are endeavoring to do so eventually experience the joy of a lasting marriage, a marriage that was sanctioned by God, a marriage between a man and a woman, members of the  Church who truly adhere to the teachings of our Father in heaven, and they can feel that they are being matched by the Lord our God, and because of this, their marriage would indeed be a joyful and lasting one. Of course, once they are married the importance of living in accordance with the tenets or the statutes of our Father in Heaven, the responsibilities of the husband to the wife, vice versa, the wife to the husband, and if they’re going to be blessed with children, how they should rear those children. If we are going to utilize wisely, the teachings of the Lord our God in every aspect of our life, including when it comes to married life, then we are going to be blessed. Martin: Thank you so much for those wonderful verses. Whatever stage you may be in looking for love, praying for love, being in love, may be falling out of love and being heartbroken. It’s refreshing, inspiring, and it does fill us with hope to know that regardless of whatever stage you may be in romantically, that God is with you every step of the way. Now, just to close

    15 min

  8. 08/18/2021

    How To Prepare For A Successful Marriage

    How To Prepare For a Successful Marriage [Lead In] Martin Zerrudo: Is the next step for you and your significant other marriage? Is it something you’ve already talked about planning for? Is that a topic you’re currently avoiding? What should you know before popping the question and how can you make sure that you end up having a successful marriage?  Let’s have a Heart & Soul conversation. [Show open] Martin: Hello, everyone, hope you’re doing well and are safe at home. Today, our topic is focused on helping our listeners gain a better understanding on what to expect when getting married and what to do to make sure their marriage can be happy and successful. At the end of the day, we want to give you as much information and guidance before you commit to one of the most important decisions of your lives. And joining me today to help us with that is Brother Felmar Serreno, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ. Brother Felmar is a husband and father of two and is also the minister on the brand new Happy Life podcast, a podcast where newlyweds can get some tips on having a successful marriage. Hi, Brother Felmar, how are you today? Brother Felmar: Hello, Martin, and to the Heart & Soul team and to everyone who’s tuning in. I’m doing well, Martin, thank you for asking. And I just like to say it’s a great pleasure for me to be here on Heart & Soul. Martin: Thank you so much, Brother Felmar. And thank you for taking the time to help us with such an important topic that is pivotal and is an important topic for many of our young adult listeners. So, when it comes to deciding when a couple in the Church Of Christ should marry, what are some of the questions that they should be asking themselves? Brother Felmar: To answer that, let’s first be reminded that a true spouse is from God. This is proven to us by the Bible in Proverbs 19: 14 we’ll quote from the New Revised Standard Version:  Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD. [Proverbs 19:14 New Revised Standard Version]  So based on this, one of the very important questions to ask oneself prior to getting married is, is this person that I am courting, or is courting me the answer to my prayers? Is this person the blessing to me from God?  Another important question to ask oneself prior to getting married is, am I ready for the blessing like what we heard from the Holy Scriptures, house and wealth are inherited from parents, but house and wealth or other possessions are not just things you just receive? Right? You need to take care of them. There are responsibilities that need to be fulfilled. So, so much more when it comes to marriage.  According to the Bible, in God’s design of marriage, which is the true and right design, there are responsibilities for the husband, and there are responsibilities for the wife, and there are also shared responsibilities. That’s why on the Happy Life podcast, we discuss things like making adjustments, expectations, communication as a married couple for members in the Church Of Christ who are at the courtship stage. Be sure to ask yourselves even before getting engaged. Are you ready for the blessing and the responsibilities that come with marriage? It’s important to consider that you have feelings for each other. But it’s also important to consider how compatible you are with one another, especially when it comes to working together and shouldering and fulfilling the responsibilities that come with marriage.  It’s important to ask too, if you are ready, financially, mentally and above all, are you ready spiritually? So I hope, Martin, that answers your question regarding some of the things that others ought to be asking themselves before getting married. Martin: Of course, we want to be able to ask those questions so that it helps us prepare, like you mentioned financially, mentally, and above all spiritually. But some might say, Well, I know some successful couples who weren’t 100% ready financially, and they worked out. Maybe they rushed into it too quickly, but it worked out. What would be our answer to those kinds of scenarios? Brother Felmar: Well, going back to the Holy Scriptures, to the verse that we just read in Proverbs 19:14, the truth is clear. A prudent wife is from the Lord. So a true spouse will come from the Lord God. So if it is the will of God that He will grant to an individual the true spouse, the answer to that individual’s prayer, and maybe it would not necessarily fit the timeline, so to say, when it comes to the norm, right, on how others have gotten married, but that is the will of God for that particular couple. So by God’s grace and mercy, things will fall into place.  However, that doesn’t mean that we should rush into marriage. Based on the Holy Scriptures, marriage is sacred, so we ought to be careful, and we ought to make the necessary preparations so that we will be able not only to receive the blessing, but to continue to take care of the blessing of marriage that comes from the Lord God, Martin: Very true, Brother Felmar, and I guess it just all the more indicates why the decision to get married in the INC is not one we take lightly. So how does one know when they’re ready to make an important decision? What if they feel like okay I may have all my ducks in a row, financially ready, I think God is answering my prayer. How do they know it’s time to make that important decision? Brother Felmar: Well, I think if those who are currently in courtship can say, “Yes, we care for each other.” So those feelings are there. But they can also say “Yes, we have proven ourselves to be compatible with one another.” Because even though emotionally, you know, they care for each other, they feel deeply about each other. But there are moments that arise where the compatibility is in question, a lot of times they’re fighting. Well, that can’t be a good sign. So that’s something that should be considered. What else? Again, we should also be able to say, “Yes, we are ready financially.” That is something that is important, because according to the Holy Scriptures, we ought to be able to provide for our household. What else should be considered? That we can say “Yes, we are also mentally ready. We are capable of making mature and responsible decisions. But above all, we are ready spiritually.” A man and woman who are about to make that decision to go into marriage must make sure that they are ready spiritually, both are spiritually mature.  So if we can say yes to all of these questions, then I’d say you’re pretty ready. I’d say, What are you waiting for? Assuming of course, you’re both of legal age. In addition to that, Martin, here’s a Bible verse, a teaching from the Holy Scriptures, that should also be considered here in the book of Proverbs 3:5-6 in the New King James Version:  Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. [Proverbs 3:5-6 New King James Version] If you trust in the Lord with all your heart, if you acknowledge God, if you pray to Him regularly, the Bible says, “He shall direct your paths.” And that has been the experience of many members in the Church Of Christ, when we were not yet ready for marriage, although maybe we wanted to get married, but God, who knows us better than we know ourselves, He knew that we were not yet ready. God directed us. And when the time was right, God directed us again. But to avail of this wonderful and precise direction from God, it is crucial that we do trust in God with all of our heart, and that we are prayerful. Martin: Thank you so much for that, Brother Felmar. As someone who has been married for a couple of years now, can you describe to our listeners, maybe for those who are not members of the Iglesia Ni Cristo, Church Of Christ, the beauty and the splendor that is a blessed marriage within the Church Of Christ. Can you describe to our audience what that is like? Brother Felmar: You know, it’s very hard to put into words. It’s very hard to put into words. The Bible teaches us that when we put God first, when we make God our happiness, He will give us our heart’s desire. And that’s why I mentioned earlier, how wonderful it is to have that direction, that precise direction from God, because only the Almighty God knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows exactly who the right match will be for us. There are many things we cannot foresee going into marriage. Although you know, with what we can see things may look like they align. But there are also things we cannot see, because we are human beings, we are limited with what we know and what we can foresee. We don’t know what will happen five years from now, 10 years from now. Maybe in courtship, the chemistry is there. But will the chemistry still be there when challenges come, when you may lose your livelihood, or when your spouse is ill? But God knows those things. So again, only the Almighty God knows who the exact match will be for us, who will be our true partner in life and will compliment us on all levels, and above all, will be with us in our services to God. In worshipping Him and putting our faith in Him and in praying to Him, you know, until we make it to our salvation.  So having said that, to all of our listeners and, and to our friends who are not members of the Iglesia Ni Cristo or the Church Of Christ, the priority would be God. Know God first, make the Almighty God our happiness, understand His teachings and all of his commandments that we must fulfill so that we prove to God He is our happiness. And that’s why we always invite our friends and loved ones to know more about the Church Of Christ. Of course, we’re so happy when we have our friends and loved ones who are with us in the Church Of Christ, but really that invitati

    15 min
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About

Real conversations about love and relationships, guided by God.

Information

  • Creator
    incmedia.org
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2024
  • Episodes
    17
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyrighted by the Iglesia Ni Cristo (Church Of Christ)
  • Show Website
    Heart & Soul

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