Paleo Bites

Matthew Donald
  • 4.7 (15)
  • COMEDY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY
Paleo Bites

Welcome to Paleo Bites, the weekly podcast hosted by Matthew Donald where we make dumb jokes, reference pop culture, derail like crazy, and oh yeah, discuss and rate dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. Each episode Matthew and a rotating set of guest co-hosts talk about a different genus of primeval critter, explain basic stats, exchange plenty of banter, barely fact-check, and at the end, rate the creature one out of 65 million for any reason, including but not limited to sexiness, mana, and dexterity. So join Matthew and his friends as we embark on this prehistoric odyssey and review the dinosaurs from Aardonyx to Zuul as well as many other extinct beasts, entertaining folks while undoubtedly making serious paleontologists weep. Musical sting by Magnus Ringblom from Epidemic Sound. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  1. A. anax, the Usurper of Saurophaganax

    4 DAYS AGO

    A. anax, the Usurper of Saurophaganax

    (image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Saurophaganax-Paul-Heaston1_2121.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Allosaurus anax, the new lord of the lizard eaters after supplanting the great and now dubious Saurophaganax after a hard-fought duel. There is truly no mercy sometimes in the battlefield of science. From the Late Jurassic, this 38-foot theropod was still basically everything we assumed Saurophaganax to be and therefore just as cool in a practical sense, it just now lacks the kickass name and the individuality of its own genus, which ruins everything. Damn you, A. anax! This is officially my Pluto. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    27 min
  2. Temnodontosaurus, the Cutting-Tooth Lizard

    FEB 18

    Temnodontosaurus, the Cutting-Tooth Lizard

    (image source: https://artpictures.club/autumn-2023.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Michele C. Hollow discuss Temnodontosaurus, a rather large marine reptile with potentially the largest eyes of any animal ever at 10 inches wide. Sheesh, my most impressive body part in terms of size is only half that length! From the Early Jurassic, this 30-foot ichthyosaur was discovered by Mary Anning back in the 1810s and was the first ichthyosaur to be scientifically described, which is a neat piece of history. Sometimes this show can be educational! I know, it surprises me too. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. You can find more from Michele at https://www.michelechollow.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    35 min
  3. Hippodraco, the Horse Dragon

    FEB 11

    Hippodraco, the Horse Dragon

    (image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Hippodraco-pictures)  Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Hippodraco, a dinosaur with a funny name that makes me think of hippos, horses, dragons, and a shipping portmanteau between Draco Malfoy and the hippogriff he tried to get killed. What a cacophony of emotions this guy brings out, especially for such a boring dinosaur. From the Early Cretaceous, this 15-foot iguanodontid was closely related to that one guy Proa we like to bang-on about, which also has a funny name. To think we’re reducing these fascinating paleontological finds with jokes about similar-sounding words and bully wizards banging lion-birds. Paleo Bites has been a real journey, folks. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    24 min
  4. Magnolia, of Great Excellence

    FEB 4

    Magnolia, of Great Excellence

    (image source: https://fineartamerica.com/featured/styracosaurus-eating-magnolias-with-lambeosaurus-phil-wilson.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Magnolia, another wonderful example of a prehistoric animal we cover on this show in that it is not an animal and is also still around today. It’s okay to break rules if you’re the one who makes them, kids. From the Mid Cretaceous to the Holocene onward, this plant of variable sizes has big paleontological significance, okay? That’s why we’re covering it! It’s important, I swear! Eh, who am I kidding, you’ve already hit “skip” on your playlist. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    22 min
  5. Atlasaurus, the Lizard of the Titan Atlas

    JAN 28

    Atlasaurus, the Lizard of the Titan Atlas

    (image source: https://www.minizoo.com.au/eofauna-atlasaurus/)  Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Jaymes Buckman discuss Atlasaurus, a lanky and wonky longneck that looks just wrong and quite frankly disgusts me. Look at its proportions, look at it! It’s like if A.I. made a dinosaur. From the Mid Jurassic, this 49 foot sauropod had a shorter neck and more elongated limbs than its cousins like Brachiosaurus, turning it into this abomination. Seriously, I can’t get over how this thing looks. It’s the uncanny valley of longnecks. I want to squeeze and stretch it like play-doh until it’s fixed. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Check out Jaymes at https://www.hotapollo.rocks/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    27 min
  6. Lokiceratops, the Horned Face of Loki

    JAN 21

    Lokiceratops, the Horned Face of Loki

    (image source: https://allthatsinteresting.com/lokiceratops-rangiformis) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Lokiceratops, a dinosaur with asymmetrical horns, much like my relationship with my girlfriend where we’re asymmetrical in our horniness for each other. From the Late Cretaceous, this 22-foot centrosaurine ceratopsid is an example of how bilateral symmetry can be varied among different creatures. I relate, as my left butt cheek is far more swole than my right. I tend to clench more with that one when I’m nervous, you see. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    24 min
  7. Austroraptor, the Southern Thief

    JAN 14

    Austroraptor, the Southern Thief

    (image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Austroraptor by Fred Wierum) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Austroraptor, a dromaeosaurid theropod masquerading as a spinosaurid theropod, because that sentence is comprehensible to more than hardcore dino nerds. From the Late Cretaceous, this 18-foot meat-eating dinosaur snapped up fish in the prehistoric jungles of Argentina, as opposed to Australia like I previously assumed. That’s why I got Ben here to host for me, I thought this was an Aussie! Even though Ben is not an Aussie, but a Kiwi. Eh, they’re all the same to dumb Yanks like me. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    32 min
  8. Heterodontosaurus, the Different-Toothed Lizard

    JAN 7

    Heterodontosaurus, the Different-Toothed Lizard

    (image source: https://paleontologyworld.com/dinosaurs-%E2%80%93-species-encycolpedia/heterodontosaurus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Heterodontosaurus, a very heteronormative dinosaur in that it had heterodont (or “differently-shaped”) teeth. Canceled! You’re canceled by the woke police, Heterodontosaurus! Love is love! Just ask Caihong, our rainbow-feathered dinosaur ally. From the Early Jurassic, this 6-foot ornithischian dinosaur lived in South Africa before its later descendants made their way to North America… kind of like another creature that is currently shadow-puppeting our presidency here in the States. Double-canceled, Heterodontosaurus! Go back to X along with your fellow elongated muskrat! No one else wants you! Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    23 min
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4.7
out of 5
15 Ratings

About

Welcome to Paleo Bites, the weekly podcast hosted by Matthew Donald where we make dumb jokes, reference pop culture, derail like crazy, and oh yeah, discuss and rate dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. Each episode Matthew and a rotating set of guest co-hosts talk about a different genus of primeval critter, explain basic stats, exchange plenty of banter, barely fact-check, and at the end, rate the creature one out of 65 million for any reason, including but not limited to sexiness, mana, and dexterity. So join Matthew and his friends as we embark on this prehistoric odyssey and review the dinosaurs from Aardonyx to Zuul as well as many other extinct beasts, entertaining folks while undoubtedly making serious paleontologists weep. Musical sting by Magnus Ringblom from Epidemic Sound. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Information

  • Creator
    Matthew Donald
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2025
  • Episodes
    279
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Matthew Donald
  • Show Website
    Paleo Bites

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