The question comes up in almost every divorce: what happens to the house? It is usually one of the biggest assets of the marriage, one of the biggest debts, and one of the most emotionally loaded decisions people face. Wanting to keep the house and actually being able to keep the house are two very different things. This week Susan is bringing back one of the most downloaded archived conversations from the Divorce and Beyond library, a conversation with Tami Wollensak, licensed mortgage loan originator and Certified Divorce Lending Professional, walking through the real financial realities of keeping the marital home. Together, Susan and Tami unpack what it actually takes to keep the house in a divorce, from refinancing challenges and equity buyouts to qualifying for a mortgage on a single income, the hidden costs of homeownership, and why making this decision without proper financial planning can create serious problems long after the ink is dry. Covered in this episode: Why wanting to keep the house and being able to keep the house are two very different things, and what a Certified Divorce Lending Professional can do to help close that gap How equity is calculated, why the purchase price is not the value, and what it means to buy out your spouse's share as part of the refinance Why maintenance, alimony, and child support do not automatically count as qualifying income and what lenders actually need to see How a missed mortgage payment can drop credit scores by hundreds of points and why "it was their responsibility" has never once removed a negative mark from a credit report Why getting a home inspection before finalizing your divorce agreement is one of the most overlooked and important steps you can take KEEPING THE HOUSE: WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE YOU SIGN Almost everyone walks into divorce negotiations with the same instinct: I want to keep the house. It is understandable. It is the family home. It is where the children have put their heads on pillows for years. But signing a settlement agreement without knowing whether you can actually execute it is not a successful negotiation. Some of the most important things to understand before you commit, are discussed in this episode: Know the fair market value of your home today, not the purchase price, and understand what the actual equity is and how it will be divided Understand that keeping the house means refinancing into your name alone, which means qualifying on your income alone, and your payment will be based on current market rates, not what you are paying today Work with a divorce mortgage professional early in the process, before the settlement agreement is signed, so you can generate real options rather than make decisions based on guesses Get a home inspection before finalizing the agreement, just as you would when buying a new home, so you know exactly what you are signing up for If your spouse agrees to stay on the mortgage temporarily, set up protections: require advance notice if a payment may be missed, and request a duplicate mortgage statement so you can monitor it yourself The goal is not to win the house. The goal is to make the decision that sets you up for the strongest future. Get the answers, both good and bad, and then decide. Referenced Episodes from the Archive: How to Get Your Act Together So that You Can Tackle Your Divorce with Alex Beattie of Divide & Thrive The Solution for Tackling the Divorce Detour with Storey Jones, Creator of dtour.life It's All About the House: What You Need to Think About Before You Decide to Keep It with Tami Wollensak ______________________________________________________________________ This Week's Sponsors: Hello Divorce - Hello Divorce is a modern platform designed to support people before, during, and beyond divorce, providing legal information, tools, and access to professionals who help individuals navigate the process more thoughtfully. Resources created specifically for Divorce & Beyond listeners are available at HelloDivorce.com/Susan. Yumiyu - YUMIYU Jewelry is Susan’s favorite source for meaningful, handcrafted jewelry designed to empower women and celebrate individuality. Each piece is made with care, using high-quality materials like real gold and vermeil, and is water-resistant, non-tarnish, and hypoallergenic. Explore their stunning collection at yumiyujewelry.com and find your perfect piece today! Be sure to use Code: “BEYOND” for 20% off! ______________________________________________________________________ This week's guest: Tami Wollensak Tami Wollensak is a Divorce Mortgage Specialist and VP Loan Consultant with New American Funding (NMLS #1963450), bringing over 30 years of experience in the mortgage industry. She specializes in helping individuals navigate one of the most overlooked and misunderstood aspects of divorce: what happens to the marital home. After going through her own divorce, Tami saw firsthand how financial decisions made during this time can have long lasting consequences. Today, she works closely with individuals, attorneys, and mediators to bridge the gap between divorce agreements and mortgage lending, ensuring that what is decided on paper can actually be executed in real life. Tami’s approach is calm, strategic, and solution focused. She helps her clients understand their options clearly so they can move forward with confidence, whether that means keeping the home, selling it, or buying again in the future. She is the founder of Empowered Uncoupling, a platform dedicated to helping people transition from endings into new beginnings with clarity, confidence, and financial empowerment. For those navigating this decision now, Tami offers a simple starting point with her guide, Can I Keep the House?, along with a complimentary 15 minute consultation to help bring clarity to the next steps. Website https://www.empowereduncoupling.com Book a 15-Minute Consultation https://calendly.com/tamiwollensak/15min Ebook: Can I Keep the House? https://iwantthehouse.com YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@empowereduncoupling Instagram https://www.instagram.com/tamiwollensak LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/tamiwollensak ______________________________________________________________________ If This Episode Helped You Subscribe to Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, leaving a five-star review makes a real difference in helping this show reach the people who need it most. Follow Divorce & Beyond Website: divorceandbeyondpod.com Instagram: instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod ______________________________________________________________________ About Our Host: Susan E. Guthrie, Esq. Susan E. Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping individuals navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer. Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others. As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with millions of downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together top legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next. Learn more at https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/about Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.
