Good Grief: The painful loss of my mother

I recently lost my mom to complications due to multiple myeloma. She was diagnosed in June 2021 and lost her on August 13, 2021. I miss her every day and struggle with all these emotions. I found your podcast and it was like my mom was talking to me. Thank you

My mother passed away from cancer August 19, 2017. It’s been a little over four years. My grandmother, my mother’s mother, passed away August 19, 2020. I was the caregiver for both of them and was with them both When they took their last breath. Even after four years and a few months have passed , I still every day miss my mother so much that it takes my breath away! She was my best friend she was my hero and my mama! I’ve struggled every day without her. Then when my grandma passed away I just shut down. And I’m stuck in this complicated grief. Everyone is gone.I don’t feel joy, or true happiness, ever. I try but it’s fake.I am not the same person anyway. I don’t even recognize the woman in the mirror anymore. I haven’t since my mother had to leave. Lost