Episode 4 - Meet Tyler & Teachers Welcome Before we even get started today, I want to make sure you’ve signed up to get the schedule and links for the free coaching that I offer. I’m a Certified Life Coach through The Life Coach School, and I have a lot to offer by way of coaching. And group coaching specifically has been a wonderful tool that I’ve used to listen to a coach and an individual walk through the model, and if you don’t know what the model is, keep listening. I will teach you! When you first start this work, it’s very important that you get some help becoming aware of the cycles of life that aren’t serving you. If you don’t understand what cycles I’m talking about, keep listening. I will teach you! This work has changed my life and I want to share it with the world. And I want to introduce you to my teachers and I also want to tell you a little bit about myself so you know who you’re learning from. GO OVER FUNDAMENTALS So today, we’re going to go over some fundamentals. I’m going to introduce you to three of my most recent teachers and coaches. SECONDARY SOURCES I want you to know where you can go to get secondary sources, especially if you’ve joined this podcast in its infancy, but I’m sure at this point you’re listening because I keep telling everyone that they need to get started with Episode 4. That’s where things start to get good. And thank goodness it only took until Episode 4 And I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “How can you consider this “getting good”. I just listened to Episode 480 and it’s STILL not good. And that’s totally cool. I’ll hold space for your disdain, friend. I’m totally good with that. BONUS EPISODE Have been since the Bonus Episode which is a cringy trainwreck. But I’m not ashamed. I’m ok with you listening to the bonus episode because what you’re telling me is that you’re a real fan. Like, you’re a fan boy or a fan girl. And that’s fine with me, because I know that you’re being aware when you attach yourself to this cycle I’ve created. And I trust that you’re still thinking for yourself. That you haven’t gone zombie on me and start repeating the shit I say like it’s something that someone else didn’t already think. But I’ll admit, it’s pretty great to hear it the way I say it, so I also hold space for you going zombie on me. No more than 3 rotations on this train wreck cycle, please! For your own safety. Keep hold of that paddle and be the captain of your kayak. If you still haven’t watched my River of Life video, stick around. I will teach you! I love this analogy. It makes sense in every way, and I just know it’s going to get better as more people get a hold of it and continue to decipher the code. CHRONOLOGY There are different ways to tell a story. Chronological is one of them, but I’m not going to do that to you today. I’m actually going to start with the spoilers. My daughter loves to know the ending of books and movies before she watches. So I know there are others of you out there like my daughter that will appreciate this. TEACHERS The spoilers in this story are the amazing teachers and coaches that I’ve had, especially recently. They include individuals and businesses and social groups and authors and the list goes on. So let me step into right towards the middle of this story and let you know…. WIFE AND I NOT IN GOOD PLACE My wife and I were not in a good place together. In following my heart, I had made some decisions that deeply hurt my wife. She had reacted in a way that deeply hurt me. Both of our pain was valid, but we were still beholden to the cycles of life that didn’t serve us. So we fought. And we threatened. And it was just basically hell in our home for a while there as I continued to follow my heart on the journey it was leading me on. Thank Love for the heart, because my mind was still nowhere near awake, so my heart is all I really had, but I was floating down that river with no kayak, thinking that my thoughts were circumstances. Go watch the video if you don’t know what I’m talking about. River of Life & Cycles - Slack Assist WIFE FOUND JODY MOORE So amidst this chaos and turmoil, each of us basically reacting to the others reactions (what a vicious cycle that is), it was very notable to me the week my wife found a podcast that seemed to instantly fix everything. She was suddenly not reacting to all of my actions. It was so noticeable that I had to know what was happening. So I asked her, and she said she’d been listening to a new podcast. It was called “Bold New Mom” (That was over 2 years ago, so you can find it now under the name “Better Than Happy”). Her behavior was so extremely different that I had to hear what this podcast was saying. So I start listening and I’m completely intrigued! Imagine hearing for the first time that your thoughts are not your circumstances. Maybe for some of you, you’ve always known that. I sure as hell didn’t. My thoughts were as good as facts in my mind. But when I began to learn about “The Model” and started to realize that there is so much power in thinking the thoughts that serve you, that help you feel happy, and accomplished and joyful and all the good emotions. And to find out that when I was feeling all the negative emotions, it was many, many times a result of a thought that I could have changed to something that served me, had I only known that it was within my power to do so. Unbelievable! I have to be gentle with myself because it makes me feel a little silly to think it took me to the age of 42 to finally start thinking on purpose. And I am gentle with myself, in part because I’m aware of the shame cycle, and that ain’t nothin I want anything to do with. WHO JODY IS So Jody Moore was my first coach. I had been reading some great books that started to prepare me for Jody, and I’ll get to those here after I introduce my other teacher. But first, let me pay tribute to Jody. She’s an amazing member of my former church. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Having just recently left, I could have rejected her message. But, as the story goes, “by their fruits ye shall know them”. My wife was proof, and now I was becoming proof. So I knew Jody was good fruit. You can check out her amazing Be Bold coaching program. Link to her website, jodymoore.com is in the show notes. Definitely listen to her podcast. Again, it’s now called Better Than Happy. She’s absolutely amazing! She was trained by the Life Coach School, as well. It really is a great school! I’m so glad I went, because let me tell you one of the best things I learned how to do! Stay tuned and I’ll tell you! But first, here is one of the wonderful things that my coach, Jody Moore, taught me through her podcast. https://jodymoore.com/29-loving-and-being-loved/ 7:54 to 18:45 If you’re here listening to this podcast having left a religion behind, and perhaps having deconstructed, but maybe just in a place of not knowing, you might have cringed when Jody started talking religious. She knows her audience, and she believes the story she has, and it serves her. I quickly learned how to hold space for a difference of beliefs as I continued listening to her podcast. And that was extremely beneficial for my marriage. I later joined her Be Bold program and she’s still my coach to this day. I tune in with hundreds, if not thousands, of other individuals, mostly LDS women, who get coached live by Jody in a group situation, just like the ones we do, which I hope you’re signed up for! In the early days, these were attended by sometimes just one person. So guess what! They got an hour of free coaching! If you schedule one-on-one coaching, the price is steep for one hour! You better believe I’m going to be charging a premium for a dedicated hour of my time, one-on-one with you. And I’m happy to do it! I just know that if I’m taking an hour to help one of you, it’s one hour less that I’m able to help hundreds of you! But what a bargain they used to get! The other coach that taught me so much was Brooke Castillo. She actually trained Jody and me. We’re both certified through the Life Coach School, and Brooke has done an amazing job taking a lot of information from many, many wonderful teachers (she talks about many of them on her podcast in episode #299, Great Teachers. https://thelifecoachschool.com/podcast/299/ But the clip I want to quote for you is actually part of a music mix I made. And yes, if you didn’t already know, now you do. I’m a DJ, which is part of my story that I’ll get to here in a minute. But feel free to follow me on Soundcloud. I go by TK Sirmize and it’s funky spelling of surmise, so just follow the link in the show notes. But I make music mixes and I heal hearts through music, which is another service I offer. Hit me up if you’re interested. I’m booked solid on this, so you just need to reach out to me and I’ll get you on the calendar and we’ll make it happen. The further away from my home state of Utah, the trickier it gets since I’m still not full time with this gig. It’s a work of passion and pure love and unless you’re working with me one-on-one, I only take donations based on the value you think I’ve brought to your life. I’ll talk about all the ways I make a living here in a bit, so stay tuned! RANT ABOUT FREE LIFE COACHING And speaking of changing your life for free, let me go on a rant here for 2 seconds. And yes, I realize that this is a thought I could change, but I’ve always liked to bump up against the edges of common opinion and challenge thought, because, as you’ve learned or are learning, staying curious and questioning and being aware of the cycles (and yes, The Life Coach School is also a cycle with “the way”, etc and
