The Grace Fueled Wife | Communication, Intimacy, Restoration, Marriage

Beatriz Vargas | Marriage & Family Therapist
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Are you sitting in a marriage that feels empty? Struggling to connect with your husband? Maybe you’re telling yourself you’re just sticking it out for the kids, and what really keeps you in the marriage is God. If this is you, I’ve been there. My story is your story. I want to help you reconnect in marriage and feel cherished again. Hey, I’m Beatriz, a Jesus loving wife and mom I’ve been married for 15 years, but for the past 10, I’ve actually had the affectionate and connected marriage I’ve always dreamed of! What happened the first five years? Well, I was busy telling my husband all the things he was doing wrong, like how he needed Jesus and he needed to do to make me happy. We tried marriage counseling, small groups, and all the things we were told would make our marriage better. Nothing worked and we separated. How did I turn it around? That’s what you’ll learn in this podcast - proven to communicate better, create more intimacy, and feel reconnected in your marriage again.  So if you’re ready to finally communicate effectively with your husband, so you can stop fighting and be on the same team again, this podcast is for you. Now grab that journal and let’s jump right in.

  1. 1D AGO

    E201// Why does my marriage feel lonely even when we're not fighting?

    In this anniversary episode, I’m reflecting on how this podcast began — and why so many women resonate with episode one: loneliness inside a marriage that looks “fine” on the outside. Before my separation nearly 15 years ago, the fighting had stopped. But instead of feeling better, we became quiet roommates. The chaos was gone… but so was the connection. If you’re not fighting but still feel distant, disconnected, or emotionally alone, this episode is for you. I unpack the real root of that loneliness — attachment longing — and walk you through the five core questions underneath conflict and disconnection: Are you there for me? Do I matter? Will you come when I call? Do you need me? Will you be there when I’m vulnerable? You’ll learn why loneliness isn’t proof your marriage is broken — and how to move toward deeper attunement without rushing to fix everything. If you’ve ever felt married but emotionally single, you are not alone. Resources:  The Every Woman’s Bible is a study Bible for the heart and mind with over one hundred scholars, writers, and contributors - all women - from around the world. It is packed with study notes and devotionals that address topics relevant to women with cultural, historical, and literary clarity and context to gain greater understanding.    Discover God’s heart for you through deep study and reflection. Learn more at EveryWomansBible.com.   Wait!!! Before you go!  Here are some ways you can work with me or become a part of my community! Work with me: Schedule a 45 min 1:1 coaching call: https://thegracefueledwife.com/coaching Not ready to work with me yet? These are some ways to learn about me for free.  Join my community on Facebook - The Grace Fueled Wives Club https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraceFueledWifeCommunity Become an Insider and get updates on all the podcast news: https://thegracefueledwife.com/insider

    16 min

  2. FEB 3

    E200// When good intentions are hurting your marriage. Intent vs. Impact in communication

    In this very special 200th episode of The Grace Fueled Wife Podcast, I’m sitting with you in a conversation that feels both tender and necessary—the difference between intent and impact in marriage. Because so often, we mean well. We’re not trying to hurt our husbands or create distance. And yet, our words can land in ways we never intended, leaving both of us feeling misunderstood, defensive, or shut down. If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “That’s not what I meant,” or “I was just trying to help” I want you to know - you’re not alone! In this episode, I talk about why good intentions aren’t always enough, and how emotional attunement is what actually creates safety and connection. I’ll walk you through why impact matters more than intent during moments of tension, and how learning to repair—rather than retreat—can become one of the most powerful tools in your marriage. We’ll talk about how to: Slow down defensiveness (yours and his) Take responsibility for impact without drowning in shame Repair moments of disconnection instead of avoiding them Rebuild emotional safety, even when conversations feel vulnerable This isn’t about blaming yourself or fixing your husband. It’s about learning how to show up with wisdom, humility, and grace—so reconnection becomes possible again.   Wait!!! Before you go!  Here are some ways you can work with me or become a part of my community!   Work with me: Schedule a 45 min 1:1 coaching call: https://thegracefueledwife.com/coaching Not ready to work with me yet? These are some ways to learn about me for free.  Join my community on Facebook - The Grace Fueled Wives Club https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraceFueledWifeCommunity Become an Insider and get updates on all the podcast news: https://thegracefueledwife.com/insider

    12 min

  3. JAN 28

    E199// Stuck in the same fight? 3 steps to break your cycle of disconnection.

    Have you ever found yourself and your husband stuck in recurring arguments that never seem to resolve? I've been there too. Today, we're piecing together everything we've learned about the negative communication cycle and how it’s responsible for your disconnection. We're diving into practical steps to recognize, regulate, and change these patterns in real-time. We'll talk about how to move from frustration back to connection, and I'll share personal anecdotes and clients' stories that highlight the importance of breaking these cycles. By the end, you'll know how to step out of reactivity with awareness, humility, and grace, fostering a deeper, more empathetic connection in your marriage. This isn't about forcing change, but about gentle, mindful shifts that make all the difference. Join me, take a deep breath, and let's work on breaking those negative cycles together. Wait!!! Before you go!  Here are some ways you can work with me or become a part of my community!   Work with me: Schedule a 45 min 1:1 coaching call: https://thegracefueledwife.com/coaching Not ready to work with me yet? These are some ways to learn about me for free.  Join my community on Facebook - The Grace Fueled Wives Club https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraceFueledWifeCommunity Become an Insider and get updates on all the podcast news: https://thegracefueledwife.com/insider

    14 min

  4. JAN 21

    E198// How to stop getting defensive, even when you feel attacked! How neuroscience and scripture align on communication

    Have you ever found yourself in a full-blown argument over something small, wondering how it got so big? In this episode, I share how understanding your nervous system can help you stop getting defensive, even when you feel attacked! You’ll learn what the “stoplight” model of emotions looks like, how Scripture affirms what neuroscience teaches about safety, and a simple breathing exercise to calm your body and reconnect with your spouse. Join me as we explore how to move from protection mode to grace-filled connection, because even your nervous system is fearfully and wonderfully made. Wait!!! Before you go!  Here are some ways you can work with me or become a part of my community! Work with me: Schedule a 45 min 1:1 coaching call: https://thegracefueledwife.com/coaching Not ready to work with me yet? These are some ways to learn about me for free.  Join my community on Facebook - The Grace Fueled Wives Club https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraceFueledWifeCommunity Become an Insider and get updates on all the podcast news: https://thegracefueledwife.com/insider

    12 min

  5. 12/16/2025

    E197// Tried everything to connect and feel like your getting nowhere?

    In this episode, I dive deep into the world of emotional pursuers—something I know all too well from personal experience. I'll share my story of how years of tiny rejections and a relentless drive for validation shaped my adult relationships, leading to constant anxiety and a desperate need for connection. We'll explore how these anxiously attached styles develop and the exhausting cycle they create. But don't worry, it's not all doom and gloom! I'll tell you how I began to heal by leaning into my faith and re-identifying myself through God's eyes, rather than seeking my husband's validation. This episode is all about finding strength in your identity and embracing grace in your relationships. I hope my journey can offer you some guidance and hope if you're facing similar challenges. So, if you're an emotional pursuer longing for connection but often finding yourself in a cycle of blame and resentment, you're in the right place. Let's work on becoming the grace-fueled wives we aspire to be, together.    00:00 Introduction: The Weight of Tiny Rejections 01:03 Understanding Emotional Pursuers 01:48 A Personal Story of Perfectionism 04:00 The Impact of Inconsistent Caregivers 04:40 The Exhausting Cycle of Pursuers 08:12 Finding Strength in Faith 09:42 A Path to Healing and Connection 10:22 Conclusion and Support Wait!!! Before you go!  Here are some ways you can work with me or become a part of my community!   Work with me: Schedule a 45 min 1:1 coaching call: https://thegracefueledwife.com/coaching  Not ready to work with me yet? These are some ways to learn about me for free.  Join my community on Facebook - The Grace Fueled Wives Club https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraceFueledWifeCommunity Become an Insider and get updates on all the podcast news: https://thegracefueledwife.com/insider

    12 min

  6. 12/03/2025

    E196// It doesn't matter what I do, I'm never going to get it right

    In this episode I continue the discussion from last week about negative communication cycles, focusing specifically on emotional withdrawers. I'll share a personal story and explore why some people withdraw emotionally in relationships. We delve into how childhood experiences and societal expectations shape this behavior. I highlight the struggles that withdrawers face, such as feeling unsafe expressing emotions and the pressure of perceived failure. By understanding their experiences, we aim to foster empathy, and improve communication. Join me to learn more about how to offer grace and nurture a healthier relationship.    03:06 Understanding Withdrawers 04:07 The Impact of Upbringing on Withdrawers 05:07 Withdrawers in Professional Life 06:51 The Emotional Struggles of Withdrawers 10:40 Empathy for Withdrawers   Wait!!! Before you go!  Here are some ways you can work with me or become a part of my community! Work with me: Schedule a 45 min 1:1 coaching call: https://thegracefueledwife.com/coaching Not ready to work with me yet? These are some ways to learn about me for free.  Join my community on Facebook - The Grace Fueled Wives Club https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraceFueledWifeCommunity Become an Insider and get updates on all the podcast news: https://thegracefueledwife.com/insider

    15 min

  7. 11/25/2025

    E195// THIS is the REAL reason you struggle with communication.

    In this episode, we dive into the root causes of disconnection in marriages focusing on unmet emotional needs and negative communication cycles. I share a personal story showcasing how recognizing these cycles and responding differently can transform interactions. Using a practical exercise, I explain the mechanics of negative communication and how it perpetuates disconnection. Tune in to understand how you can stop these cycles and start feeling connected again. Don't forget to check out the free video training and our community resources - If you’re already on my insider list, I’ve included it with this week’s email.   00:23 Understanding Communication Issues in Relationships 01:19 Personal Story: Handling a Partner's Mood 04:09 The Negative Communication Cycle Explained 04:38 Visualizing the Communication Cycle 13:14 Impact of Negative Cycles on Emotional Needs 14:29 Conclusion and Resources Wait!!! Before you go!  Here are some ways you can work with me or become a part of my community! Work with me: Schedule a 45 min 1:1 coaching call: https://thegracefueledwife.com/coaching Not ready to work with me yet? These are some ways to learn about me for free.  Join my community on Facebook - The Grace Fueled Wives Club https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraceFueledWifeCommunity Become an Insider and get updates on all the podcast news: https://thegracefueledwife.com/insider Download the visual aid from this episode (If you’re already on my insider list it will be included with this week’s email): https://thegracefueledwife.com/cycle

    16 min

  8. 11/18/2025

    E194// 3 Steps to diffuse an argument today!

    In this episode, I give you some tips on how you can put defensiveness aside and respond with grace when a situation gets challenging! We explore the emotions behind defensiveness and how to navigate them effectively by learning the three key steps to deescalate an argument. I also share how validating feelings and communicating from a place of understanding can make a huge difference in your relationships.  00:00 Introduction and Welcome Back 01:13 A Personal Story of Defensiveness 02:28 Reflecting on Emotional Reactions 05:52 Practical Steps to Deescalate Arguments 09:15 Final Thoughts and Announcements   Wait!!! Before you go!  Here are some ways you can work with me or become a part of my community! Work with me: Schedule a 45 min 1:1 coaching call: thegracefueledwife.com/coaching Not ready to work with me yet? These are some ways to learn about me for free.  Join my community on Facebook - The Grace Fueled Wives Club https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraceFueledWifeCommunity Become an Insider and get updates on all the podcast news.  Thegracefueledwife.com/insider

    11 min
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4.9
out of 5
184 Ratings

About

Are you sitting in a marriage that feels empty? Struggling to connect with your husband? Maybe you’re telling yourself you’re just sticking it out for the kids, and what really keeps you in the marriage is God. If this is you, I’ve been there. My story is your story. I want to help you reconnect in marriage and feel cherished again. Hey, I’m Beatriz, a Jesus loving wife and mom I’ve been married for 15 years, but for the past 10, I’ve actually had the affectionate and connected marriage I’ve always dreamed of! What happened the first five years? Well, I was busy telling my husband all the things he was doing wrong, like how he needed Jesus and he needed to do to make me happy. We tried marriage counseling, small groups, and all the things we were told would make our marriage better. Nothing worked and we separated. How did I turn it around? That’s what you’ll learn in this podcast - proven to communicate better, create more intimacy, and feel reconnected in your marriage again.  So if you’re ready to finally communicate effectively with your husband, so you can stop fighting and be on the same team again, this podcast is for you. Now grab that journal and let’s jump right in.

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