The Essential Coaching Skills Podcast

Doug OBrien
  • 5.0 (14)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Listen to our coaching podcast for expert advice, personal development insights, and success stories. Explore NLP and hypnosis topics.

  1. Create a Confidence Anchor in Under 1 Minute — NLP Technique To Stop Being Triggered

    11h ago

    Create a Confidence Anchor in Under 1 Minute — NLP Technique To Stop Being Triggered

    📩 JOIN 3K+ READERS ON THE WEEKLY ESSENTIAL COACHING SKILLS NEWSLETTER: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/newsletters/the-essential-coaching-skills-newsletter Your phone buzzes and your hand moves before your brain does.You hear a song from ten years ago and something hits you in the chest before you've even named the feeling.You walk into your childhood home and suddenly you're twelve again.None of that is random. None of it is weakness. Your nervous system is doing exactly what it learned to do — linking experiences together so fast you never see it coming. The technical term is anchoring. But what it means is this: you are being triggered, constantly, by things you didn't choose, wired in by experiences you may not even remember. 0:00 You're already being anchored — without realizing it 0:37 What NLP anchoring actually is 1:36 Music, smells, voices — triggers are everywhere3:03 Nobody can make you feel anything without your permission 4:03 Pavlov's dogs — and why you're no different 5:28 Your phone is doing it to you right now 6:24 Advertisers use this on you every day 7:22 How to create your own anchor — step by step 9:18 The exercise: anchor a feeling of confidence right now 11:01 Carol Burnett and why some of you just felt something 13:24 Smells, sounds, touch — every sense can carry an anchor 14:24 The insulin study: anchoring that worked inside the body ----------------------------------- 🔗BECOME AN EXTRAORDINARY COACH! JOIN THE MEMBERSHIP NOW & Get My Six-Week Storytelling Course LIVE.https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/membership 🔗BECOME A MASTER AT STORYTELLING: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/users-guide-to-storytelling 🔗JOIN 3K+ READERS ON THE WEEKLY ESSENTIAL COACHING SKILLS NEWSLETTER: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/newsletters/the-essential-coaching-skills-newsletter 🔗NEED DOUG AS YOUR COACH? BOOK HERE: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/coachingCONNECT ON 🔗LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dougobrien/

    17 min
  2. That's the POINT! How a 30-Year Corporate Veteran Systemized His Coaching Business

    5d ago

    That's the POINT! How a 30-Year Corporate Veteran Systemized His Coaching Business

    Most coaches who struggle to get clients aren't bad at coaching. They're just running their practice as if being good at coaching is enough. It isn't. Michael Beale is a CEO coach, NLP trainer, and Marshall Goldsmith-certified coach who spent 30 years in corporate before building a coaching practice from scratch. He's put more systematic thought into what actually makes a coaching business work than almost anyone Doug has spoken with. 🎙️ ABOUT MICHAEL BEALE Director, Global Specialist in 1:1 NLP Training and Marshall Goldsmith Leadership Coaching. Business NLP Ltd 120 Porthcawl Green, Milton Keynes MK4 3AL, United Kingdom * * michael@nlp-training.org +44 (0)1908 506563 Office +44 (0) 7944 388621 Mobile Michael's LinkedIn profile; https://www.linkedin.com/in/beale/ Michael's Zoom link is: https://us04web.zoom.us/j/7845595607?pwd=RHdzK3djUDZPQVhZbW5rZklxaWNBdz09 And his most important insight might be the one that surprises you most: the biggest factor in your coaching success isn't your skills. It's who you choose to work with. 0:00 Good coach ≠ good business 1:22 Michael's background 3:47 Corporate teaches you the wrong things 6:14 Starting a business is a hero's journey 9:11 The three things every coaching business needs 13:25 Marshall Goldsmith: choose the right clients 14:19 What a bad client really costs you 19:41 Michael's 4 client criteria 22:49 Why 3 taster sessions beats 1 25:00 Hunting, attraction, nurturing, paid 34:14 "Everyone" is a marketing disaster 43:57 The feedforward exercise ----------------------------------- 🎙️ ABOUT DOUG O'BRIEN Doug O'Brien is an NLP Master Trainer, Ericksonian Hypnotherapist, and coach with over 35 years of experience. Certified by Tony Robbins and endorsed by Richard Bandler and Robert Dilts. He teaches coaches, therapists, and practitioners how to create lasting behavior change through NLP, Ericksonian hypnosis, storytelling, and nervous system-aligned coaching. BECOME AN EXTRAORDINARY COACH!JOIN THE MEMBERSHIP NOW & Get My Six-Week Storytelling Course LIVE. https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/membership JOIN 3K+ READERS ON THE WEEKLY ESSENTIAL COACHING SKILLS NEWSLETTER: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/newsletters/the-essential-coaching-skills-newsletter NEED DOUG AS YOUR COACH? BOOK HERE: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/coaching CONNECT ON LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dougobrien/

    1h 2m
  3. Living With Parkinson's: He built a 10-session Hypnosis Program To Manage Symptoms and Stress

    May 15

    Living With Parkinson's: He built a 10-session Hypnosis Program To Manage Symptoms and Stress

    What do you do when you receive a diagnosis that has no cure? Dr. Harlan Kilstein — NLP practitioner, coach, and longtime student of Dave Dobson — was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. And instead of stopping, he did something remarkable. He built a 10-session hypnosis program — the Friday Harbor Method — to help himself and others living with Parkinson's manage symptoms, reduce stress, and reconnect with the body's own deep capacity for stillness and healing. Parkinson's has no cure. But stress makes symptoms significantly worse. And the body still knows things — how to relax, how to be still, how to sleep — that hypnosis can help it remember. In this episode, Doug O'Brien sits down with Harlan for an honest, moving, and often funny conversation about the diagnosis, the program, and what it means to apply everything you've learned when you need it most. 0:00 Dr. Harlan Kilstein and the Friday Harbor Method 1:37 The diagnosis: what Parkinson's actually feels like to live with 3:45 Michael J. Fox: 'The gift that keeps on taking' 5:13 What would Dave do? How Dave Dobson's teachings pointed the way 7:08 Why Harlan used AI to recreate his own voice for the recordings 9:10 A tour of the 10 sessions: beach, lake, master control room and more 18:55 The River of Light: gold, green, red, blue, and purple 19:55 The bonus tracks: Quiet Hands, sleep sessions, and the Spare Tire 22:49 How the 6-week program works — and how to use it out of order 25:09 Warning: the Parkinson's scam industry (what to watch out for) 28:33 Where to find the Friday Harbor Method The page for this project is https://fridayharbormethod.com/ ----------------------------------- ➡️ BECOME AN EXTRAORDINARY COACH!JOIN THE MEMBERSHIP NOW & Get My Six-Week Storytelling Course LIVE.https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/membership 📩 JOIN 3K+ READERS ON THE WEEKLY ESSENTIAL COACHING SKILLS NEWSLETTER: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/newsletters/the-essential-coaching-skills-newsletter 📕Want to MASTER Storytelling? Get the book, USER'S GUIDE TO STORYTELLING on Amazon https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/users-guide-to-storytelling ➡️ NEED DOUG AS YOUR COACH? BOOK HERE: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/coaching CONNECT ON LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dougobrien/➡️

    33 min
  4. Fix Your Inner Voice in 5 Minutes - NLP Modal Operators Explained

    May 2

    Fix Your Inner Voice in 5 Minutes - NLP Modal Operators Explained

    Do you talk to yourself in ways that keep you stuck? Most people do. 'I should do that.' 'I can't.' 'I'll get to it someday.' These aren't just words — they're instructions to your unconscious mind. And your unconscious mind does exactly what it's told. In this solo episode, NLP Master Trainer and Ericksonian coach Doug O'Brien breaks down one of the most practical and underused tools in NLP: modal operators of necessity and possibility. These are the small words and phrases that silently run your motivation — and once you know which ones work for you, you can use them on purpose. 'I should do that.' 'I will do that.' 'I have to do that.' 'I'm doing that.' 'It's done.' Each one hits differently. One lights a fire. Another puts something on a to-do list it never leaves. Doug walks you through how to find the word that actually moves YOU — because it's different for everyone. 0:00 Why the way you talk to yourself changes everything 0:33 What NLP calls modal operators — and why they matter 1:33 Doug's own story: from 'I should' to 'I'm doing it' 3:34 The natural sequence: should → will → have to → doing it → done 5:00 You are the greatest hypnotist in the world — for yourself 6:00 The exercise: picture your goal and test each modal operator 8:32 We're in trances all the time — the question is which one 11:20 Dave Dobson: the unconscious mind is purposeful, not rational 13:13 Tony Robbins' string: if I can't, I must — if I must, I will 15:42 Words, tonality, and physiology — why 7% matters more than you think ----------------------------------- BECOME AN EXTRAORDINARY COACH!JOIN THE MEMBERSHIP NOW & Get My Six-Week Storytelling Course LIVE. https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/membership-aug2025 JOIN 3K+ READERS ON THE WEEKLY ESSENTIAL COACHING SKILLS NEWSLETTER: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/newsletters/the-essential-coaching-skills-newsletter NEED DOUG AS YOUR COACH? BOOK HERE: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/coaching CONNECT ON LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dougobrien/

    20 min
  5. Time Doesn't Exist — But Deadlines Do. Here's How to Use Them.

    Apr 18

    Time Doesn't Exist — But Deadlines Do. Here's How to Use Them.

    Time is the one thing none of us have enough of — and yet it doesn't technically exist. So how do you use it well? In this episode, NLP Master Trainer and Ericksonian coach Doug O'Brien explores the fascinating psychology of time — from astronauts orbiting the moon to a coal miner with a watch that changed everything — and lands on one of the most practical productivity insights he's ever shared: there is nothing as inspirational as a deadline. You'll hear the story of the day a young Doug O'Brien sat in the front row of a composers' conference and asked Aaron Copland what inspired Appalachian Spring. The answer had nothing to do with nature walks or artistic reverie — and everything to do with Martha Graham, 200 dollars, and next Thursday. You'll also go inside Henrik Ibsen's writing room in Oslo — with its grandfather clock, its mahogany desk, and a six-foot portrait of his mortal enemy hanging on the wall — and discover how one of history's greatest playwrights used resentment, routine, and a very deliberate stopping point to produce masterwork after masterwork. 0:00 It's about time we talked about time0:36 Why time seems to speed up as we age 1:06 Einstein, Erickson, and the relativity of a minute 1:36 Death as an advisor — Carlos Castaneda and Don Juan 2:32 What the Artemis astronauts taught us about time 3:02 Time is a measurement of change 3:31 Sundials, sand timers, and how we invented the clock 5:41 The coal mine story: time perception and survival 6:48 How time zones were invented by a random clerk in St. Louis 10:43 Using time wisely — the real goal 11:13 Aaron Copland and the phone call that changed everything 13:07 The question I asked Copland in the front row 14:37 "Nothing is as inspirational as a deadline" 15:51 Tax day and the scramble it creates every year 16:49 The kitchen timer: Doug's simplest productivity tool 18:47 How a student with 10 minutes invented a system 19:46 Setting the timer: one task, no distractions 21:12 Moving toward vs. moving away — what motivates you? 22:12 The propulsion system: using both at once 22:41 Henrik Ibsen's writing room in Oslo 24:00 Why Ibsen kept a portrait of his enemy at his desk 25:29 Ibsen's daily routine: 9am sharp, pen down at 11:30 26:38 Stopping mid-sentence — the trick that kept him going 27:09 Hemingway's bridge to the writing room 28:20 Where the EASE Method comes from ----------------------------------- BECOME AN EXTRAORDINARY COACH!JOIN THE MEMBERSHIP NOW & Get My Six-Week Storytelling Course LIVE. https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/membership-aug2025 JOIN 3K+ READERS ON THE WEEKLY ESSENTIAL COACHING SKILLS NEWSLETTER: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/newsletters/the-essential-coaching-skills-newsletter NEED DOUG AS YOUR COACH? BOOK HERE: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/coaching CONNECT ON LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dougobrien/

    33 min
  6. AI Can't Do This Yet: Why Poetry, Trance & Human Voice Still Matter - w/ Julie Flanders

    Apr 11

    AI Can't Do This Yet: Why Poetry, Trance & Human Voice Still Matter - w/ Julie Flanders

    What if poetry and hypnosis are the same thing? That's the question that opens this conversation — and the answer from Julie Flanders, award-winning lyricist and co-founder of the internationally acclaimed band October Project, might surprise you. Julie is also a transformational coach, poet, and producer whose work has reached millions worldwide. She's written three Amazon #1 bestselling poetry books, created the October Project International Poetry Contest (now in its 8th year), and built virtual choirs during COVID that drew singers from every continent. And she has a fascinating take on what makes human creativity — especially in the age of AI — so irreplaceable. 0:00 Is poetry the same as hypnosis? A lyricist's answer 1:47 Contemplation, the inner temple — and how language enters trance 3:44 Why algorithms don't write good poetry (yet) 4:44 Julie's influences: T.S. Eliot, Mary Oliver, Rumi — and why accessibility wins 8:32 Writing lyrics vs. writing poems: the surprising difference 10:02 October Project's Book of Rounds: 400 children and a mantra that loops 14:54 The COVID virtual choir: joy, bad singing, and hand-drawn missing faces 20:27 Make Music New York: 1,000 people walking and singing on the solstice 22:44 October Project Poetry Contest: how to enter (first poem is free) 31:21 From psychic to executive recruiter to coach — Julie's real origin story 35:07 Why change has to enter the body — not just the mind 43:48 The mythology of coaching (and music): what nobody tells you before you start Julie Flanders is an award-winning poet, lyricist, and producer, and the co-founder of the internationally acclaimed band October Project and the emergent new project Elle Dit Music. Her work has received Anthem, Telly, and ACDA honors, and reaches millions of listeners worldwide. Her 3 poetry books have been #1 bestsellers on Amazon. She is also the creator of the October Project International Poetry Contest, now in its eighth year, engaging poets from all over the world to celebrate April is Poetry Month by writing and submitting their own work for recognition. October Project - Return To Me - Worldwide Choir - GOLD TELLY & AMERICAN PRIZE WINNER 2023 https://youtu.be/wv9fbUHq6ks?si=qhTG1ZB4brOs9huI October Project - Virtual Choir of Joy - ANTHEM AWARD 2022, TELLY AWARD 2021 https://youtu.be/ODFsQ45yVnI?si=0Nhnzfq6WJFRrdoG October Project - Book of Rounds - Lyric Videos https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLEI3F1h2TKvadz2PVQ8G86PklJ92sqs5I http://www.octoberprojectmusic.com http://www.Elleditmusic.com www.julieflanders.com ----------------------------------- BECOME AN EXTRAORDINARY COACH!JOIN THE MEMBERSHIP NOW & Get My Six-Week Storytelling Course LIVE. https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/membership-aug2025 JOIN 3K+ READERS ON THE WEEKLY ESSENTIAL COACHING SKILLS NEWSLETTER: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/newsletters/the-essential-coaching-skills-newsletter NEED DOUG AS YOUR COACH? BOOK HERE: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/coaching CONNECT ON LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dougobrien/

    53 min
  7. What REALLY Creates Change in Coaching? (TEMENOS Principle EXPLAINED)

    Apr 8

    What REALLY Creates Change in Coaching? (TEMENOS Principle EXPLAINED)

    Have you finished your NLP training, your coaching certification, your hypnotherapy course... and now you're staring at an empty calendar wondering when you became someone who actually does this for a living? In this episode, NLP Master Trainer and Ericksonian coach Doug O'Brien explores the real psychology of making that leap. He opens with a concept from Carl Jung — Temenos — a protected vessel for transformation. And he makes the case that great coaching is not a technique applied in a single session. It's a space created over time. 🎙️ ABOUT DOUG O'BRIEN Doug O'Brien is an NLP Master Trainer, Ericksonian Hypnotherapist, and coach with over 35 years of experience. Certified by Tony Robbins and endorsed by Richard Bandler and Robert Dilts. He teaches coaches, therapists, and practitioners how to create lasting behavior change through NLP, Ericksonian hypnosis, storytelling, and nervous system-aligned coaching. 0:00 The Jungian idea of Temenos — a protected space for transformation 0:29 Why coaching is an ongoing conversation, not a one-and-done event 0:58 The disservice of 'one session fixes everything' (NLP & hypnosis culture) 1:23 The moment spring training ends and real clients begin 1:52 The office, the debt, the Zoom room — and the terror that follows 2:48 Your first real client: they have a problem and they think you can fix it 3:16 A brief history: NLP came from therapy (Perls, Satir, Erickson) 4:16 The 'watch the watch' problem and the one-session my 6:16 Thomas Leonard: coaching is a conversation 6:45 Doug's minimum: four sessions. Here's why. 7:13 The ecological ripple effects of change (quit smoking example) 7:42 The doctor/therapist model vs. a pair of equals 8:40 If you're going to coach, you should be coached 11:07 Solution-oriented coaching: listen, then actually do something 12:04 Doug's personal story: he needed it too (musician turned coach) 13:04 Stop taking more trainings. You're ready. Just start. 13:34 Temenos revisited: Jung, alchemy, and the pressure cooker of change 15:00 Why time limits create therapeutic pressure — and make sessions better ----------------------------------- BECOME AN EXTRAORDINARY COACH! JOIN THE MEMBERSHIP NOW & Get My Six-Week Storytelling Course LIVE. https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/membership-aug2025 JOIN 3K+ READERS ON THE WEEKLY ESSENTIAL COACHING SKILLS NEWSLETTER: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/newsletters/the-essential-coaching-skills-newsletter NEED DOUG AS YOUR COACH? BOOK HERE: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/coaching CONNECT ON LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dougobrien/

    17 min
  8. The Power of Questions

    Mar 14

    The Power of Questions

    The questions you ask determine what your mind focuses on—and that focus shapes your emotional state, your decisions, and ultimately your life. In this episode of the Essential Coaching Skills Podcast, Doug O’Brien explores the power of questions in coaching and personal transformation. Drawing from NLP, Tony Robbins’ work, and practical coaching experience, Doug explains how intentional questions can shift emotional states, improve problem solving, and help clients move from reactivity to empowerment. You’ll also learn Tony Robbins’ Morning Questions and Problem-Solving Questions, simple tools that can dramatically change how you approach challenges and opportunities. 00:01 – Introduction: The Power of Questions 00:29 – Questions in Coaching and NLP 01:28 – The “Imperative Question” Concept Leslie Cameron Bandler’s idea that each person carries a core question that influences their choices and behavior. 03:54 – Focus Determines State Why the questions we ask control our focus—and how focus directly affects our emotional state. 05:22 – Tony Robbins’ Morning Questions Doug introduces Tony Robbins’ structured morning questions for shaping mindset and emotional state. 07:14 – Why Questions Work Better Than Affirmations 08:50 – The Three-Step Happiness Question 18:11 – Better Questions for Difficult Situations 19:32 – The Five Problem-Solving Questions 24:09 – A Marathon Training Story 26:59 – Coaching Story: Shifting Depression with Questions A coaching story illustrating how powerful questions can shift emotional state quickly. ----------------------------------- BECOME AN EXTRAORDINARY COACH!JOIN THE MEMBERSHIP NOW & Get My Six-Week Storytelling Course LIVE. https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/membership-aug2025 JOIN 3K+ READERS ON THE WEEKLY ESSENTIAL COACHING SKILLS NEWSLETTER: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/newsletters/the-essential-coaching-skills-newsletter NEED DOUG AS YOUR COACH? BOOK HERE: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/coaching CONNECT ON LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dougobrien/

    31 min
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5
out of 5
14 Ratings

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Listen to our coaching podcast for expert advice, personal development insights, and success stories. Explore NLP and hypnosis topics.

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