The Essential Coaching Skills Podcast

Doug OBrien
  • 5.0 (14)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Listen to our coaching podcast for expert advice, personal development insights, and success stories. Explore NLP and hypnosis topics.

  1. 2d ago

    Sacred Listening: 50 Years With Native American Healers

    Bob Vetter is a cultural anthropologist who has spent the past five decades sitting with Native American elders, medicine people, and traditional healers, learning what they can teach us about healing, resilience, and living a meaningful life. Today he combines those insights with narrative medicine and transformational practices to help people become wiser healers, coaches, and mentors through his teaching, writing, and retreats. For more information visit his website www.bobvetter.com 0:00 What is sacred listening? 1:35 The sage ritual — and why it's just anchoring 5:20 The red bandana story — a dying healer transforms 19:00 Platika — the ancient heart-to-heart talk 27:00 Healing shrapnel — why stories heal the listener 32:00 The medicine man who slammed the door 44:30 How to use sacred listening as a coach today 53:00 Soul medicine — Bob's 12-week program ----------------------------------- BECOME AN EXTRAORDINARY COACH! JOIN THE MEMBERSHIP NOW & Get My Six-Week Storytelling Course LIVE. https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/membership-aug2025 JOIN 3K+ READERS ON THE WEEKLY ESSENTIAL COACHING SKILLS NEWSLETTER: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/newsletters/the-essential-coaching-skills-newsletter NEED DOUG AS YOUR COACH? BOOK HERE: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/coaching CONNECT ON LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dougobrien/

    Sacred Listening: 50 Years With Native American Healers

  2. Aug 1

    The Trauma Healing Technique Your Therapist Hasn't Told You About | Dr. Steve Ruden

    Learn the origins of Havening Techniques with Dr. Steve Rudin. Discover how this approach supports mental well-being and emotional regulation. In this episode, Doug O'Brien hosts a conversation with Dr. Steve Rudin, one of the co-creators of the Havening Techniques.Dr. Rudin shares his unique perspective, drawing from his background as a surgical dentist to explain how these specific methods function in practice.This discussion is designed for anyone interested in psychological wellness, coaching frameworks, and practical tools for managing emotional states. The conversation highlights the development of these techniques and offers insights into why they are used by professionals today. Whether you are a practitioner or simply curious about the science behind stress relief methods, this episode provides a clear overview of the concepts Dr. Rudin developed. You will gain a better understanding of how these tools fit into modern coaching skills and therapeutic applications. Subscribe for weekly Essential Coaching Skills breakdowns, and comment below with your questions about the Havening Techniques. 0:00 Why behavior is an expression of biology — not the problem itself 4:45 Participation and relationship — the two foundations of human life 9:00 How your biology filters reality — the four people in the forest 14:30 Why telling yourself to stop something never works 18:00 The nail-biting story — tracing behavior to its biological root 23:00 Fear of heights, a childhood slide, and what changed everything 29:00 Presence — why nothing happens in a session without it 34:00 Curiosity, listening and reflection — the coaching tools that work biologically 43:00 Touch, breathing and movement — accessing the body to create change 52:00 Future planning — why buying a new car changes what you see on the road 57:00 Wonder and biologic safety — how all communication becomes effortless ----------------------------------- BECOME AN EXTRAORDINARY COACH!JOIN THE MEMBERSHIP NOW & Get My Six-Week Storytelling Course LIVE. https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/membership-aug2025 JOIN 3K+ READERS ON THE WEEKLY ESSENTIAL COACHING SKILLS NEWSLETTER: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/newsletters/the-essential-coaching-skills-newsletter NEED DOUG AS YOUR COACH? BOOK HERE: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/coaching CONNECT ON LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dougobrien/

    The Trauma Healing Technique Your Therapist Hasn't Told You About | Dr. Steve Ruden

  3. Jul 18

    Your Brain Has an Inner Dictator — And It's Running Your Life | Owen Fitzpatrick

    Have you ever noticed that your inner voice sounds completely certain — even when it's completely wrong? That inner voice telling you there's no hope, no way out, no point in trying — Owen Fitzpatrick calls it something more accurate: inner propaganda. Owen is a social psychologist, author, and keynote speaker who has spent decades studying how the inner voice forms beliefs, why those beliefs resist change, and what it actually takes to shift them. He has conducted field research in North Korea, Rwanda, and Afghanistan — studying the inner voice and belief in places where it gets weaponized. He has worked with Google, LinkedIn, and Pfizer. And his new book Inner Propaganda makes the case that the most dangerous inner voice isn't the one other people plant in you. It's the one you've been running on yourself. In this conversation with NLP Master Trainer Doug O'Brien, Owen breaks down exactly how your inner voice decides what feels true, why your inner voice is addicted to certainty, and what coaches, therapists, and practitioners need to understand before they ever try to change someone's beliefs. 0:00 Why your inner voice might be lying to you 4:45 How your inner voice forms beliefs — feel right, fit in, make sense 10:20 Why your inner voice can't be changed with logic 16:00 When your inner voice is just a membership fee to belong 22:30 Field research in North Korea, Rwanda and Afghanistan 29:00 How to retrain your inner voice and believe better Whether you're a coach, NLP practitioner, therapist, or someone whose inner voice has been holding them back — this episode will change how you understand the voice in your head. 🔗 LINKS & RESOURCES 🌐 Inner Propaganda book + free masterclass: https://innerpropaganda.com 🌐 Owen Fitzpatrick: https://owenfitzpatrick.com 📘 The User's Guide to Storytelling: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/users-guide-to-storytelling 🎓 Essential Coaching Skills Membership: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/membership-aug2025 🌐 Website: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com 📧 Newsletter: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/newsletters/the-essential-coaching-skills-newsletter 🎙️ ABOUT DOUG O'BRIEN Doug O'Brien is an NLP Master Trainer, Ericksonian Hypnotherapist, and coach with over 35 years of experience. Certified by Tony Robbins and endorsed by Richard Bandler and Robert Dilts. He teaches coaches, therapists, and practitioners how to create lasting behavior change through NLP, Ericksonian hypnosis, storytelling, and nervous system-aligned coaching. 🎙️ ABOUT OWEN FITZPATRICK Owen Fitzpatrick is a social psychologist, author of nine books published in 21 languages, and one of the youngest NLP Master Trainers ever certified. He conducted field research in North Korea, Rwanda, and Afghanistan and has worked with Google, LinkedIn, and Pfizer. His new book Inner Propaganda is out August 4th, 2026. ---------------------------------- BECOME AN EXTRAORDINARY COACH!JOIN THE MEMBERSHIP NOW & Get My Six-Week Storytelling Course LIVE. https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/membership-aug2025 JOIN 3K+ READERS ON THE WEEKLY ESSENTIAL COACHING SKILLS NEWSLETTER: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/newsletters/the-essential-coaching-skills-newsletter NEED DOUG AS YOUR COACH? BOOK HERE: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/coaching CONNECT ON LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dougobrien/

    Your Brain Has an Inner Dictator — And It's Running Your Life | Owen Fitzpatrick

  4. Jul 3

    Can You Understand Someone Who Hates You? A Conflict Mediator Explains

    Can you actually talk to your enemies? Learn conflict resolution strategies from Larry Rosen, the founder of The Enemies Project. In this episode, we sit down with Larry Rosen to discuss his work mediating between people who view each other as political or personal enemies. After two decades of practice, he shares how to move from heated argument to genuine understanding. This conversation is for anyone who feels stuck in gridlock with family, friends, or colleagues and wants to learn how to keep the dialogue moving forward. We explore the practical side of how to mediate intense disagreements and navigate difficult conversations without escalating the tension. You will hear how Larry applies these techniques to bridge divides, helping people actually listen to one another rather than just waiting for their turn to speak. By examining the methodology behind The Enemies Project, you can apply these communication tools to your own life when faced with deep ideological conflict. FIND OUT MORE at https://www.enemiesproject.org/ Subscribe to this podcast for weekly breakdowns on navigating human connection, and let me know in the comments: what is the hardest conversation you have ever had to facilitate? ----------------------------------- BECOME AN EXTRAORDINARY COACH!JOIN THE MEMBERSHIP NOW & Get My Six-Week Storytelling Course LIVE. https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/membership-aug2025 JOIN 3K+ READERS ON THE WEEKLY ESSENTIAL COACHING SKILLS NEWSLETTER: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/newsletters/the-essential-coaching-skills-newsletter NEED DOUG AS YOUR COACH? BOOK HERE: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/coaching CONNECT ON LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dougobrien/

    Can You Understand Someone Who Hates You? A Conflict Mediator Explains

  5. Jun 12

    Never feel POWERLESS again➡️ Step Into Your Circle of Excellence in 4 Steps

    If you're a coach, NLP practitioner, or anyone who wants to access confidence, calm, or focus on demand — this short episode teaches you the Circle of Excellence, one of NLP's most practical and enduring tools for state control. JOIN 3K+ READERS ON THE WEEKLY ESSENTIAL COACHING SKILLS NEWSLETTER: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/newsletters/the-essential-coaching-skills-newsletter In this episode you'll learn: What the Circle of Excellence is and why it's been a core NLP tool since the beginning Why spatial anchoring works differently from a physical touch anchor — and when to use each The 4-step process to anchor any emotional state to a circle you can take anywhere How to choose the right color for the state you want How to test whether the anchor has set before you need it How to use it before presentations, coaching sessions, difficult conversations, or any situation where you want to show up at your best Why you can borrow confidence from one area of your life and bring it into another 0:00 Some days you're on — and some days you're not 0:39 What the Circle of Excellence is and why it works 1:50 How Doug used it on stage with his rock band in the 80s 3:36 Red circle for anger, blue circle for love — switching states mid-concert 4:36 Step 1: Choose the state you want 5:02 Step 2: Find a time you felt it before 5:54 Step 3: Pick a color and step in 6:47 Step 4: Test it — let the circle do the work 8:01 How to take your circle anywhere you go 8:47 Using it before presentations, coaching sessions, or any high-stakes moment ----------------------------------- BECOME AN EXTRAORDINARY COACH!JOIN THE MEMBERSHIP NOW & Get My Six-Week Storytelling Course LIVE. https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/membership-aug2025 JOIN 3K+ READERS ON THE WEEKLY ESSENTIAL COACHING SKILLS NEWSLETTER: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/newsletters/the-essential-coaching-skills-newsletter NEED DOUG AS YOUR COACH? BOOK HERE: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/coaching CONNECT ON LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dougobrien/ --------------------- 🎙️ ABOUT DOUG O'BRIEN Doug O'Brien is an NLP Master Trainer, Ericksonian Hypnotherapist, and coach with over 35 years of experience. Certified by Tony Robbins and endorsed by Richard Bandler and Robert Dilts. He teaches coaches, therapists, and practitioners how to create lasting behavior change through NLP, Ericksonian hypnosis, storytelling, and nervous system-aligned coaching.

    Never feel POWERLESS again➡️ Step Into Your Circle of Excellence in 4 Steps

  6. Jun 6

    Create a Confidence Anchor in Under 1 Minute — NLP Technique To Stop Being Triggered

    📩 JOIN 3K+ READERS ON THE WEEKLY ESSENTIAL COACHING SKILLS NEWSLETTER: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/newsletters/the-essential-coaching-skills-newsletter Your phone buzzes and your hand moves before your brain does.You hear a song from ten years ago and something hits you in the chest before you've even named the feeling.You walk into your childhood home and suddenly you're twelve again.None of that is random. None of it is weakness. Your nervous system is doing exactly what it learned to do — linking experiences together so fast you never see it coming. The technical term is anchoring. But what it means is this: you are being triggered, constantly, by things you didn't choose, wired in by experiences you may not even remember. 0:00 You're already being anchored — without realizing it 0:37 What NLP anchoring actually is 1:36 Music, smells, voices — triggers are everywhere3:03 Nobody can make you feel anything without your permission 4:03 Pavlov's dogs — and why you're no different 5:28 Your phone is doing it to you right now 6:24 Advertisers use this on you every day 7:22 How to create your own anchor — step by step 9:18 The exercise: anchor a feeling of confidence right now 11:01 Carol Burnett and why some of you just felt something 13:24 Smells, sounds, touch — every sense can carry an anchor 14:24 The insulin study: anchoring that worked inside the body ----------------------------------- 🔗BECOME AN EXTRAORDINARY COACH! JOIN THE MEMBERSHIP NOW & Get My Six-Week Storytelling Course LIVE.https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/membership 🔗BECOME A MASTER AT STORYTELLING: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/users-guide-to-storytelling 🔗JOIN 3K+ READERS ON THE WEEKLY ESSENTIAL COACHING SKILLS NEWSLETTER: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/newsletters/the-essential-coaching-skills-newsletter 🔗NEED DOUG AS YOUR COACH? BOOK HERE: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/coachingCONNECT ON 🔗LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dougobrien/

    Create a Confidence Anchor in Under 1 Minute — NLP Technique To Stop Being Triggered

  7. Jun 1

    That's the POINT! How a 30-Year Corporate Veteran Systemized His Coaching Business

    Most coaches who struggle to get clients aren't bad at coaching. They're just running their practice as if being good at coaching is enough. It isn't. Michael Beale is a CEO coach, NLP trainer, and Marshall Goldsmith-certified coach who spent 30 years in corporate before building a coaching practice from scratch. He's put more systematic thought into what actually makes a coaching business work than almost anyone Doug has spoken with. 🎙️ ABOUT MICHAEL BEALE Director, Global Specialist in 1:1 NLP Training and Marshall Goldsmith Leadership Coaching. Business NLP Ltd 120 Porthcawl Green, Milton Keynes MK4 3AL, United Kingdom * * michael@nlp-training.org +44 (0)1908 506563 Office +44 (0) 7944 388621 Mobile Michael's LinkedIn profile; https://www.linkedin.com/in/beale/ Michael's Zoom link is: https://us04web.zoom.us/j/7845595607?pwd=RHdzK3djUDZPQVhZbW5rZklxaWNBdz09 And his most important insight might be the one that surprises you most: the biggest factor in your coaching success isn't your skills. It's who you choose to work with. 0:00 Good coach ≠ good business 1:22 Michael's background 3:47 Corporate teaches you the wrong things 6:14 Starting a business is a hero's journey 9:11 The three things every coaching business needs 13:25 Marshall Goldsmith: choose the right clients 14:19 What a bad client really costs you 19:41 Michael's 4 client criteria 22:49 Why 3 taster sessions beats 1 25:00 Hunting, attraction, nurturing, paid 34:14 "Everyone" is a marketing disaster 43:57 The feedforward exercise ----------------------------------- 🎙️ ABOUT DOUG O'BRIEN Doug O'Brien is an NLP Master Trainer, Ericksonian Hypnotherapist, and coach with over 35 years of experience. Certified by Tony Robbins and endorsed by Richard Bandler and Robert Dilts. He teaches coaches, therapists, and practitioners how to create lasting behavior change through NLP, Ericksonian hypnosis, storytelling, and nervous system-aligned coaching. BECOME AN EXTRAORDINARY COACH!JOIN THE MEMBERSHIP NOW & Get My Six-Week Storytelling Course LIVE. https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/membership JOIN 3K+ READERS ON THE WEEKLY ESSENTIAL COACHING SKILLS NEWSLETTER: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/newsletters/the-essential-coaching-skills-newsletter NEED DOUG AS YOUR COACH? BOOK HERE: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/coaching CONNECT ON LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dougobrien/

    That's the POINT! How a 30-Year Corporate Veteran Systemized His Coaching Business

  8. May 15

    Living With Parkinson's: He built a 10-session Hypnosis Program To Manage Symptoms and Stress

    What do you do when you receive a diagnosis that has no cure? Dr. Harlan Kilstein — NLP practitioner, coach, and longtime student of Dave Dobson — was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. And instead of stopping, he did something remarkable. He built a 10-session hypnosis program — the Friday Harbor Method — to help himself and others living with Parkinson's manage symptoms, reduce stress, and reconnect with the body's own deep capacity for stillness and healing. Parkinson's has no cure. But stress makes symptoms significantly worse. And the body still knows things — how to relax, how to be still, how to sleep — that hypnosis can help it remember. In this episode, Doug O'Brien sits down with Harlan for an honest, moving, and often funny conversation about the diagnosis, the program, and what it means to apply everything you've learned when you need it most. 0:00 Dr. Harlan Kilstein and the Friday Harbor Method 1:37 The diagnosis: what Parkinson's actually feels like to live with 3:45 Michael J. Fox: 'The gift that keeps on taking' 5:13 What would Dave do? How Dave Dobson's teachings pointed the way 7:08 Why Harlan used AI to recreate his own voice for the recordings 9:10 A tour of the 10 sessions: beach, lake, master control room and more 18:55 The River of Light: gold, green, red, blue, and purple 19:55 The bonus tracks: Quiet Hands, sleep sessions, and the Spare Tire 22:49 How the 6-week program works — and how to use it out of order 25:09 Warning: the Parkinson's scam industry (what to watch out for) 28:33 Where to find the Friday Harbor Method The page for this project is https://fridayharbormethod.com/ ----------------------------------- ➡️ BECOME AN EXTRAORDINARY COACH!JOIN THE MEMBERSHIP NOW & Get My Six-Week Storytelling Course LIVE.https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/membership 📩 JOIN 3K+ READERS ON THE WEEKLY ESSENTIAL COACHING SKILLS NEWSLETTER: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/newsletters/the-essential-coaching-skills-newsletter 📕Want to MASTER Storytelling? Get the book, USER'S GUIDE TO STORYTELLING on Amazon https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/users-guide-to-storytelling ➡️ NEED DOUG AS YOUR COACH? BOOK HERE: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/coaching CONNECT ON LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dougobrien/➡️

    Living With Parkinson's: He built a 10-session Hypnosis Program To Manage Symptoms and Stress
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Listen to our coaching podcast for expert advice, personal development insights, and success stories. Explore NLP and hypnosis topics.

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