Not Your Average Autism Mom

Shannon Urquiola

This podcast was started for parents and caregivers raising autistic children, but has evolved, and we have listeners across the world who are relatives of someone with autism, special education teachers, and other professionals. My son Jordan was diagnosed with autism when he was 5 years old, now 30. I have been where you are. Jordan will likely never live independently. I am in the trenches every day, just like you. Each week, for 20 minutes or less (most episodes), I discuss topics that directly impact your life on this unique parenting journey. info@notyouraverageautismmom.com

  1. 5d ago

    274. Impulsive or Oppositional? Why Knowing Better Doesn’t Always Mean Doing Better

    Your child knows the rule. You’ve explained it, practiced it, reminded them—and they may even be able to tell you exactly what they’re supposed to do. So why do they keep doing the thing they KNOW they shouldn’t? It’s easy to assume they’re being defiant, refusing to listen, or deliberately pushing back. But knowing what to do and being able to access that information quickly enough to stop an impulse are two very different skills. In this episode, Shannon talks about why impulsivity in autistic children can look a lot like opposition, and why the difference matters. She shares a memorable story from Jordan’s childhood, explains how executive functioning, processing, regulation, and impulse control can affect behavior in real time, and gives you practical questions to ask before deciding your child is simply choosing not to listen. You’ll also hear why understanding what’s driving a behavior does not mean excusing it or removing boundaries and expectations. Instead, it helps you figure out what your child may actually need to learn, practice, or be supported with. If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “But they KNOW better!” this episode will help you look at those frustrating moments differently—and ask one important question: They may know better...but can they USE what they know in this moment? Looking for support beyond a weekly podcast?  Join our FREE WEBINAR, Helping Your Autistic Child When Everything Feels Like Too Much —save your spot here. And whenever you're ready for more: Explore all the ways we can support you by visiting   www.notyouraverageautismmom.com .   Join our FREE FB Group, The Not Your Average Autism Mom MOVEMENT (NOTE: You must answer the questions or you won't be let in) Click HERE

    274. Impulsive or Oppositional? Why Knowing Better Doesn’t Always Mean Doing Better
  2. Sep 3

    273. Before You Ask Again: Give Them Time to Process

    You ask your child a question. You wait a beat. Then you ask again, explain it differently, or add another direction. But what if your child is still processing the first thing you said? We’re back with brand-new episodes after our BEST OF Summer series! I’m sharing a quick update on my recovery from hand surgery and basal cell removal on my nose, then getting into a conversation that’s especially useful as school routines begin. In this episode, we’re talking about slow processing and what happens between your question and your child’s response. As a fast processor raising Jordan, who needs more time, this is something I continue to practice myself. You’ll hear about: Why getting your child’s attention and allowing processing time are different. How repeating questions can add more for your child to sort through. Making room for spoken responses, gestures, typing, and AAC. Practical ways to approach rushed mornings and school conversations. What you tell yourself while you’re waiting—and how that affects your response. You’ll leave with one simple practice to try this week: before you ask again, leave a little room for the answer. Looking for support beyond this weekly podcast? Join our webinar, Helping Your Autistic Child When Everything Feels Like Too Much—save your spot here. You can also visit NotYourAverageAutismMom.com to explore all the ways we can help. Whether you’re looking for practical guidance, help navigating a challenge, or connection with moms who understand, you deserve support for your part of this parenting journey, too. That’s what we’re here for, and we’d love to help. Has this podcast helped you feel a little less alone? Leave a rating or review wherever you listen, and share an episode with another mom. Your words could be what encourages her to press play. YOU, Mama, are doing AMAZING at this MOM thing.

    273. Before You Ask Again: Give Them Time to Process
  3. Aug 13

    BEST OF Summer Series - Back to School Pep Talk

    ☀️ BEST of Summer Series This episode is part of our BEST of Summer Series, where I'm revisiting some of the most impactful, most downloaded, and most shared episodes from the Not Your Average Autism Mom podcast. Originally released as Episode 233, The Back-to-School Parent Pep Talk: What Every Autism Parent Needs to Know couldn't be more timely. School has already started for some of our families, and for others, that first day is right around the corner. Whether you're listening for the first time or coming back for a refresher, this is one I want every mom raising an autistic child with an IEP to hear as we head into another school year. Because back-to-school isn't just new backpacks, school supplies, and first-day pictures when your child has an IEP. It's wondering whether the new teacher has actually read it. It's hoping accommodations will be followed. It's worrying about transitions, new expectations, new staff, and whether you're going to have to explain your child all over again. And it's figuring out when to wait and see... and when it's time to speak up. In this episode of the Not Your Average Autism Mom podcast, Shannon breaks the beginning of the school year into 5 Big Back-to-School IEP Buckets: 💙 Know What's Actually in the IEP — Don't assume you remember it. Pull it out, read it again, and make sure it still reflects your child. 💙 Prompts Are Not the Plan — Support matters, but so does building independence. What's the plan for fading those prompts? 💙 Communicate in Writing — Carline conversations and phone calls are great, but when it comes to your child's education, documentation matters. 💙 Your Child's IEP Is Not Set in Stone — You do NOT have to wait until the annual meeting if something isn't working. 💙 Evaluation Drives Services — Current, comprehensive data matters when determining what your child actually needs. Shannon also shares important back-to-school reminders about early IEP changes, accommodations across different environments, updated evaluations, diploma tracks, and some of the most common special education misconceptions parents still hear. Most importantly, this episode is your reminder: You don't have to know everything to be a strong advocate for your child. You can learn. You can ask questions. You can request clarification. And you can speak up when something doesn't feel right. 🎥 This BEST of Summer episode is available on video! Watch on Spotify or listen wherever you normally enjoy the podcast. 🌟 Leave a Review: If this episode helps you feel more prepared for the school year ahead, please consider leaving a review and share it with another autism mom navigating an IEP. Helping another parent find this information matters. 💙 And if you feel like you're constantly holding everything together, but inside you're exhausted, overwhelmed, or stuck in survival mode… I created something specifically for you. The Stepping Out of Survival Mode RESET Workshop is a coaching experience designed for moms raising autistic children who feel like their nervous system is always "on." If that sounds familiar, take a few minutes to read about it here: 👉 https://www.notyouraverageautismmom.com/coachingreset 🎧 And don't forget—with more than 270 episodes of the Not Your Average Autism Mom podcast, there is an entire library waiting for you. Search for the topic you're struggling with right now, revisit an old favorite, or simply scroll until something speaks to where you are today. Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, Audible, iHeart Radio, and wherever you enjoy podcasts.

    BEST OF Summer Series - Back to School Pep Talk
  4. Aug 6

    BEST OF Summer Series — Unlocking the Mystery: Decoding Splinter Skills

    ☀️ BEST of Summer Series This episode is part of our BEST of Summer Series, where I'm revisiting some of the most impactful, most downloaded, and most shared episodes from the Not Your Average Autism Mom podcast. Originally released as Episode 191, Unlocking the Mystery: Decoding Splinter Skills is one of those episodes that helps parents understand one of the most fascinating—and often misunderstood—aspects of autism. Whether you're listening for the first time or coming back for a refresher, I hope this episode gives you exactly what you need today. Have you ever wondered how your child can do something incredibly advanced in one area... yet struggle with something that seems much simpler? Maybe they can recite every line from their favorite movie but struggle to have a conversation. Maybe they can solve complex puzzles but have difficulty following everyday directions. Or perhaps they can read fluently but don't understand what they've just read. These are often called splinter skills, and understanding them can completely change how you support your child. Summer is the perfect time to notice these unique strengths and intentionally help your child connect them to everyday life through real-world experiences. In this episode, Shannon explains: • What splinter skills are and why they occur • Why autistic children often have an uneven or "spiky" skills profile • Real-life examples of splinter skills you may recognize in your own child • Practical strategies for building on your child's strengths while supporting areas of challenge • Why celebrating progress matters just as much as teaching new skills • How to help your child generalize their amazing abilities into everyday life One of the most important reminders from this episode is this: Every child has strengths. Our job isn't to change who they are. Our job is to help them connect the pieces. 🌟 Leave a Review: If this episode resonates with you, please consider leaving a review. Your feedback helps other autism parents discover the podcast and reminds them they aren't alone. 💙 And if you feel like you're constantly holding everything together, but inside you're exhausted, overwhelmed, or stuck in survival mode… I created something specifically for you. The Stepping Out of Survival Mode RESET Workshop is a coaching experience designed for moms raising autistic children who feel like their nervous system is always "on." If you're ready to move out of survival mode and start feeling more like yourself again, take a few minutes to learn more here: 👉 https://www.notyouraverageautismmom.com/coachingreset 💚 Looking for coaching, practical strategies, and a community of moms who truly understand this journey? Visit www.notyouraverageautismmom.com to learn more about our private membership. 🎧 With more than 270 podcast episodes, summer is the perfect time to explore the podcast library and discover conversations that meet you exactly where you are today. ☀️ BEST of Summer Series Note: This episode was originally recorded before the Not Your Average Autism Mom podcast moved to video format, so it is available on audio podcast platforms only.

    BEST OF Summer Series — Unlocking the Mystery: Decoding Splinter Skills
  5. Jul 30

    BEST OF Summer Series— They're Noy Ignoring You: It's A Skill Gap

    ☀️ BEST of Summer Series This episode is part of our BEST of Summer Series, where I'm revisiting some of the most impactful, most downloaded, and most shared episodes from the Not Your Average Autism Mom podcast. Originally released as Episode 227, They're Not Ignoring You: It's a Skill Gap is one of those episodes that changes how parents see one of autism's most misunderstood challenges. Whether you're listening for the first time or coming back for a refresher, I hope this episode gives you exactly what you need today. Summer gives us something we don't always have during the school year... Time. Time to slow down, connect, and intentionally build the skills our children need most. If you've ever felt like your child ignores you, doesn't respond when you call their name, or seems completely focused on objects, screens, or their own interests, this episode is for you. Because here's the truth: They're not ignoring you. They're missing a skill. Attention to people is a foundational skill that many autistic children need to be intentionally taught. And the wonderful news is... skills can be built. In this episode, Shannon explains why attention to people is so challenging for many autistic children and shares practical, age-specific strategies you can begin using today. You'll learn: • Why attention to people is a learned skill—not a behavior problem • Why many autistic children naturally attend to objects before people • How autism and ADHD together can make attention even more challenging • Practical strategies for toddlers, school-age children, teens, and young adults • Everyday ways to build connection without pressure or power struggles • Why meeting your child where they are is always the best place to begin One of the biggest takeaways from this episode is this: Connection comes before correction. When we understand the "why" behind our child's behavior, we stop taking it personally and start teaching the skills they need to succeed. 🌟 Leave a Review: If this episode resonates with you, please consider leaving a review. Your feedback helps other autism parents discover the podcast and reminds them they aren't alone. 💙 And if you feel like you're constantly holding everything together, but inside you're exhausted, overwhelmed, or stuck in survival mode… I created something specifically for you. The Stepping Out of Survival Mode RESET Workshop is a coaching experience designed for moms raising autistic children who feel like their nervous system is always "on." If you're ready to move out of survival mode and start feeling more like yourself again, take a few minutes to learn more here: 👉 https://www.notyouraverageautismmom.com/coachingreset 💚 Looking for coaching, practical strategies, and a community of moms who truly understand this journey? Visit www.notyouraverageautismmom.com to learn more about our private membership. 🎧 With more than 270 podcast episodes available, summer is the perfect time to explore the podcast library and discover conversations that meet you exactly where you are today. BEST of Summer Series Note: This episode was originally recorded before the Not Your Average Autism Mom podcast moved to video format, so it is available on audio podcast platforms only. You can listen to this episode—and explore our library of more than 270 episodes—on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, Audible, iHeart Radio, and wherever you enjoy podcasts.

    BEST OF Summer Series— They're Noy Ignoring You: It's A Skill Gap
  6. Jul 23

    BEST OF Summer Series — Pragmatic Language: Why It Matters and How to Help Your Child Build It

    ☀️ BEST of Summer Series This episode is part of our BEST of Summer Series, where I'm revisiting some of the most impactful, most downloaded, and most shared episodes from the Not Your Average Autism Mom podcast. Originally released as Episode 240, Pragmatic Language: Why It Matters and How to Help Your Child Build It continues to be one of the episodes parents tell me changed the way they think about communication. Whether you're listening for the first time or coming back for a refresher, I hope this episode gives you exactly what you need today. Summer is one of the best times to help your child build pragmatic language skills. From ordering at a restaurant and greeting neighbors to taking turns in conversations and navigating family gatherings, everyday summer moments create opportunities to practice the social side of communication in real life. Pragmatic language is about so much more than talking. It's the invisible set of social rules that help conversations flow, friendships grow, and relationships develop. And for many autistic children, it's one of the biggest communication challenges they face. In this episode, Shannon explains what pragmatic language really is, why it matters so much, and how you can help your child strengthen these skills without making it feel like therapy. You'll learn: • What pragmatic language is and why it matters • Why many autistic children struggle with the social side of communication • Practical ways to build these skills during everyday activities • How to use summer outings as natural teaching opportunities • Simple strategies to help your child gain confidence in conversations • Why connection—not perfection—is always the goal Communication isn't just about words. It's about understanding people, building relationships, and feeling connected to the world around us. And every conversation is an opportunity to grow. 🌟 Leave a Review: If this episode resonates with you, please consider leaving a review. Your feedback helps other autism parents discover the podcast and reminds them they aren't alone. 💙 And if you feel like you're constantly holding everything together, but inside you're exhausted, overwhelmed, or stuck in survival mode… I created something specifically for you. The Stepping Out of Survival Mode RESET Workshop is a coaching experience designed for moms raising autistic children who feel like their nervous system is always "on." If you're ready to move out of survival mode and start feeling more like yourself again, take a few minutes to learn more here: 👉 https://www.notyouraverageautismmom.com/coachingreset 💚 Looking for additional support on this parenting journey none of us planned? Visit ⁠www.notyouraverageautismmom.com⁠ to find resources designed specifically for moms raising autistic children. 🎧 With more than 270 episodes available, summer is the perfect time to explore the podcast library and discover conversations that meet you exactly where you are today.

    BEST OF Summer Series — Pragmatic Language: Why It Matters and How to Help Your Child Build It
  7. Jul 16

    BEST OF Summer Series —When Behavior Speaks: Medical Insights into Autism Aggression

    ☀️ BEST of Summer Series This episode is part of our BEST of Summer Series, where we're revisiting some of the most impactful, most downloaded, and most shared episodes from the Not Your Average Autism Mom podcast. Originally released as Episode 221, When Behavior Speaks: Medical Insights into Autism Aggression continues to be one of the conversations that has helped parents look beyond behavior and ask a different question: "What if my child's behavior is trying to tell me something?" Whether you're listening for the first time or coming back for a refresher, I hope this episode gives you exactly what you need today. Summer often brings changes in routine, sleep schedules, travel, heat, different foods, and increased sensory demands. For many autistic children, those changes can lead to an increase in challenging behaviors—including aggression. But what if aggression isn't simply "bad behavior"? What if it's communication? In this episode, Shannon explores the often-overlooked medical factors that can contribute to aggressive behavior and why it's so important to look for the why before assuming it's purely behavioral. You'll learn: • Why aggression is often a form of communication • Medical issues that may contribute to challenging behaviors, including gastrointestinal concerns, hidden pain, vitamin deficiencies, hormonal changes, and more • Why "it's just autism" isn't always the complete answer • How to advocate for further medical evaluation when something doesn't feel right • Practical strategies for working with healthcare providers to uncover potential root causes • Why understanding the "why" behind behavior changes everything This episode is a reminder that behavior always has meaning. Sometimes the answer is behavioral. Sometimes it's medical. And sometimes it's both. When we stay curious instead of making assumptions, we become better advocates for our children. 🌟 Leave a Review: If this episode resonates with you, please consider leaving a review. Your feedback helps other autism parents discover the podcast and reminds them they aren't alone. 💙 And if you feel like you're constantly holding everything together, but inside you're exhausted, overwhelmed, or stuck in survival mode... I created something specifically for you. The Stepping Out of Survival Mode RESET Workshop is a coaching experience designed for moms raising autistic children who feel like their nervous system is always "on." If you're ready to move out of survival mode and start feeling more like yourself again, learn more here: 👉 https://www.notyouraverageautismmom.com/coachingreset 💚 Looking for additional support on this parenting journey none of us planned? Visit www.notyouraverageautismmom.com to find resources designed specifically for moms raising autistic children. 🎧 With more than 270 episodes available, summer is the perfect time to explore the podcast library and discover conversations that meet you exactly where you are today. BEST of Summer Series Note: This episode was originally recorded before the Not Your Average Autism Mom podcast moved to video format, so it is available on audio podcast platforms only. You can listen to this episode—and explore our library of more than 270 episodes wherever you enjoy podcasts.

    BEST OF Summer Series —When Behavior Speaks: Medical Insights into Autism Aggression
  8. Jul 9

    BEST OF Summer Series - Unwrapping the Rule Book: Strategies for Discipline

    ☀️ BEST of Summer Series This episode is part of our BEST of Summer Series, where we're revisiting some of the most impactful, most downloaded, and most shared episodes from the Not Your Average Autism Mom podcast. Originally released as Episode 174, Unwrapping the Rule Book: Strategies for Discipline continues to be one of the conversations that resonates most with moms raising autistic children. Whether you're listening for the first time or coming back for a refresher, I hope it gives you exactly what you need today. Summer has a way of testing even the best parenting strategies. Routines change, expectations become less structured, and our children often have more downtime, more transitions, and more opportunities to push boundaries. If you've found yourself wondering whether you're being too strict, too lenient, or simply inconsistent, this episode is for you. In this episode, Shannon dives into one of the biggest questions autism parents ask: "How do I discipline my autistic child in a way that actually teaches instead of simply punishes?" You'll learn: • Why clear expectations help children feel safer and more successful • How boundaries and consistency build confidence—not fear • Practical discipline strategies that teach instead of shame • Why visual supports and predictable consequences can make such a difference • Real-life examples of handling public meltdowns, homework battles, and everyday parenting challenges • How to respond with confidence, compassion, and consistency—even when it's hard Discipline isn't about punishment. It's about teaching. It's about preparing our children for the world while meeting them where they are today. This episode will encourage you to stop second-guessing yourself and begin seeing discipline as one of the greatest gifts we can give our children. 🌟 Leave a Review: If this episode resonates with you, please consider leaving a review. Your feedback helps other autism parents discover the podcast and reminds them they aren't alone. 💙 And if you feel like you're constantly holding everything together, but inside you're exhausted, overwhelmed, or stuck in survival mode... I created something specifically for you. The Stepping Out of Survival Mode RESET Workshop is a coaching experience designed for moms raising autistic children who feel like their nervous system is always "on." If you're ready to move out of survival mode and start feeling more like yourself again, take a few minutes to learn more here: 👉 https://www.notyouraverageautismmom.com/coachingreset 💚 Looking for additional support, coaching, and connection with moms who truly understand this journey? Visit www.notyouraverageautismmom.com to learn more about other ways we can support you on this parenting journey none of us planned. 🎧 With more than 270 episodes available, summer is the perfect time to explore the podcast library and discover conversations that meet you exactly where you are today. ☀️ BEST of Summer Series Note: This episode was originally recorded before the Not Your Average Autism Mom podcast moved to video format, so it is available on audio podcast platforms only.

    BEST OF Summer Series - Unwrapping the Rule Book: Strategies for Discipline
4.8
out of 5
48 Ratings

About

This podcast was started for parents and caregivers raising autistic children, but has evolved, and we have listeners across the world who are relatives of someone with autism, special education teachers, and other professionals. My son Jordan was diagnosed with autism when he was 5 years old, now 30. I have been where you are. Jordan will likely never live independently. I am in the trenches every day, just like you. Each week, for 20 minutes or less (most episodes), I discuss topics that directly impact your life on this unique parenting journey. info@notyouraverageautismmom.com

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