Musings with Maliquea

Maliquea Starnes

Lately it seems like doing it perfectly and doing it all is a prerequisite to starting a business. It's time to call it quits! Host Maliquea Starnes, Wedding Planner and Venue Owner turned Business Strategist and Mindset Coach, shares thoughtful moments of reflection (also known as musings) on how she's showing up more intentionally in this season of life and business. Whether it’s setting more boundaries, growing a team and delegating, or sharing tips on how to pursue LESS. This is the place to be if you’re seeking real and honest conversations about the tough stuff, find a place where you can lay it all down, and rest in knowing you were never meant to carry it all. We’re creating space for women to abandon the chaos, shed the need to do it perfectly, and find their power through only doing what matters. Each week we'll explore the trade off that happens when we pursue less to create room for more, through authentic conversations with your favorite Muses in the industry! Freedom and Grace frequently show up here, and I hope you will too! maliquea.substack.com

  1. 18. Common mistakes to avoid as a wedding and event pro

    07/07/2021

    18. Common mistakes to avoid as a wedding and event pro

    Are you not scheduling days off for yourself? Are you working a schedule you don't like? Are you a people pleaser who can't say 'no'? Are you ignoring yourself in order to focus on your business? Well, you're in luck because I'm going to walk you through each of these points and give you tips on how to get past them! In this episode, I'm sharing the common mistakes I've made over and over again so that you can hopefully avoid them as you continue to grow your event business.  We discuss:  What to do when you realize you keep making the same mistakes over and over again...Why not having boundaries can often hurt you as well as your clients...The reason you shouldn’t sacrifice self care at any time...How to be intentional about scheduling down times and breaks...How being intentional with your work will always show up in your business...… and more! Here are some highlights... We can make things perfect, right? "I'm a perfectionist and I'm super organized and I just love all the details that also makes me a control freak and I want my hands on every single thing. I think that's a limiting belief that we kind of take on. I think that as event professionals, we really pride ourselves on this idea that we can make things perfect, right? The perfect day, the best day ever. But one of my favorite mindset shifts I've had to grasp as a perfectionist is excellence over perfection, because excellence leaves room for grace and perfection does not. Perfection has no room for error, there's no grace in that. And if there's no grace, then there's no opportunity for you to allow someone else to help you."   Events are a people pleasing industry. "After spending the last five years at countless events, I can name lots of mistakes that I made. However, the funny thing about looking back on your mistakes is that you realize you kept making the same mistakes over and over. Such as being in a people pleasing industry. If you are a person who tends to lean on the side of being a people pleaser, you know that it's not really something that's unique to the work that you do, it kind of just permeates all up in your whole life. I have always been the person who prefers to politely just do what I think will make someone happy and it's something that I even struggle with to this day. You create a lot of space to not have boundaries and to not be able to say no. And to not be willing to enforce boundaries that could potentially result in someone being upset."   Build in break times for you and your company. "I started to make the mistake of believing at a certain point that I am off during the week, and I work on the weekends. And that is the way it goes. Well, let me tell you something about that real quick, that gets really old really fast. And I honestly stopped even thinking about the possibility that there could be weddings for my business happening on the weekend. Every year that I did a wedding on the weekend of my birthday was crazy. And I truly believe that I wasn't fully present and fully there, and it took so much out of me. Build in some days that you're absolutely not going to take events. You create some time for sabbaticals, and extended breaks to really be intentional about the downtime. Be intentional about what you are going to do as a company with the time that you do take off." This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit maliquea.substack.com

    22 min
  2. 17. How to fall in love with your business again

    07/07/2021

    17. How to fall in love with your business again

    Have you become frustrated and unhappy with your business? Is a break up imminent? Let me walk you through how to find your way back to the spark that initially drove you to start your business. Back to your initial love story that inspired you to take the leap into love and entrepreneurship. In this episode we’re giving you a few tips on how to find that spark again. Whether you’re just not attracting the clients you want or you’re realizing your systems are not working for you anymore, we’ve got you covered. It’s time to fall in love again.  We discuss:  How our business often feels like such a huge part of us, almost like it's our baby...Quick tips for when your business is causing resentment in you...How to check in with your goals to see if they still align with your purpose. What is really happening if your ideal client no longer fits your goals? Why you need some sexier systems...… and more! Here are some highlights... The interesting dynamic we have with our business "It truly just feels like such a huge part of us. I've heard people say ‘my business is like my baby’ or they feel married to the money. And I started to have this thought that it really does feel like we're in relationship with our business sometimes. Because let's face it, it really is an intimate thing. And it’s our hard work, blood, sweat and tears that we pour into it. It’s something that is so special to us. We cherish it.” One of the most challenging aspects of entrepreneurship "I was giving so much to my business, and I just wasn't getting anything in return. I was spending money on marketing, staying up super late at night and not booking clients, putting in all the work and just doing all the things and it's just not giving it back to me. And I started to think about this idea, you know, how to fall in love with your business again. I think that we all know that a one sided relationship is not sustainable. And I think that just like you would do with your boo or your bestie, when you are ready to really say ‘you know what, I am not getting out of this what my original intention was to get out of this,’ you may have to take a step back and figure out if you are ready to give it your all. Or if there are some parts of this situation that are no longer serving you." Go on a date with your goals and ask hard questions "When you go on a date with someone you ask questions like, 'what do you do for a living? Where are you from? Are you a psycho?' So many questions, right? Essentially, what you're doing is you are trying to get to the bottom of who this person is, and see if they're a good fit. And I think that going on a date with your goals is the best thing that you can do when you are just feeling out of whack and to help you to get back in alignment. You can pour yourself a glass of wine just like you're going on a real date, sit down, think about your goals, and literally just ask yourself some hard questions. Why am I trying so hard to accomplish this goal? Where did this goal come from? etc." Learn how to have fun again.  "We get our head down, we start working and we literally get in the weeds of just the day to day life. Sometimes when we're in relationship with others we start to go through the motions, you know, the fun and the joy somehow it doesn't disappear, but it becomes few and far between. And I think business can be that way as well. I think a lot of times we take business so seriously because it's our livelihood and it's our bread and butter. I feel like the same way that childlike joy and playfulness and creativity shows up in relationships, it can show up that exact same way in the relationship with your business." This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit maliquea.substack.com

    18 min
  3. 16. Why exhaustion is so common in the wedding and event industry

    06/16/2021

    16. Why exhaustion is so common in the wedding and event industry

    It’s no secret that working in the event industry can be tiring. While you DO make your own hours, a lot of times you end up working even more than if you’d just stayed at your full time job. Not to mention the unique experiences in the wedding and event industry that can make it even harder to find downtime and manage your energy.  In this episode, I’m sharing the big reasons why people in our industry end up feeling exhausted and ways to avoid these issues so you don’t end up in burn out. You need to understand there are unique challenges event pro's face specifically that can be different from other service providers so that you can prepare yourself to be proactive about these things. We discuss:  How the high volume of leads and inquiries can be overwhelming...  The way that limited availability for events can cause issues...Why sales consultations can take up too much time... How revisions can become excessive...The stress of having ONE day to pull off such a huge event can be stressful… Here are some highlights... The high volume of leads and inquiries combined with limited availability at venues “One of the first things that comes to mind for wedding and event professionals specifically is you have a high volume of leads and inquiries coming in. So with your average service provider, you definitely are looking to get more leads, get more traction. Maybe you're running Facebook ads, maybe you're doing a bigger push for marketing. But when we're thinking about wedding and event professionals, whether it be the area that you live in, or maybe there's a lot of popular venues where you're from, or beautiful scenery and it's a very popular place for weddings and events. A lot of times wedding and event professionals are getting inquiry on inquiry, they're getting leads for dates. Whether you're a photographer, a florist, a venue, you can only facilitate so many events per day, and so I think that the first place of friction for wedding and event professionals specifically comes from you having this high volume of leads and inquiries competing with limited availability, because really, there’s only 52 weekends in a year.” The need for sales consultations “A lot of service providers may be able to take out the sales consultation piece of their business. Maybe they are doing evergreen programs or maybe they're able to remove sales calls completely, and you book me and I provide service, and that's it. For event and wedding professionals, 9 times out of 10, a bride and a groom or a couple who is hosting an event, wants to talk to this person that is going to be super hands-on in bringing this event to fruition.” The amount of revisions can eat up time “Once you book the client, there are revisions on revisions, so that's something else that's very unique for wedding and event professionals. With web designers, you usually can say, ‘Hey, we're gonna do three rounds of revisions, if I send you over a logo and you don't like it, you've got two more times after that, I'm gonna charge you extra.’ Well, with weddings, events, people are constantly changing their minds and rightfully so, because there's so many options out there. They decide they want these kinds of dishes for dinner, and then as we get closer, they find some different ones that they like better. Or they decide that they actually wanna have it in this room instead of the other room at the venue because there's more people coming now. There's so many different variables, and so I think that those revisions constantly being brought in and added is another thing that's really unique and specific to those of us in the wedding and event industry.” This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit maliquea.substack.com

    17 min
  4. 15. Bringing On Your First Hire

    06/10/2021

    15. Bringing On Your First Hire

    Bringing on your first hire can be stressful. What happens if you make the wrong choice? What if you end up having to fire someone? It can feel overwhelming and scary, but to grow your business, you have to do it.  In this episode, I’m sharing 4 tips you need to consider before you make your first hire. Knowing and implementing these steps will help you get clear on what you need, who to hire and how to make it smooth for everyone involved.  We discuss:  How to prepare yourself financially...  Why having a lawyer review your contracts is important...Creating systems and documenting everything to make it easier for your new hire... Why it’s important to invest in leadership training...Different assessments you can use to gain insights on potential staff... Here are some highlights... The importance of preparing financially.  “The number one thing that you don't wanna do is put yourself in a position where you only have enough money to pay your team and not pay yourself. You need to make sure that you are planning for profitability and you're planning in a way where you actually can become compensated. This is a big shift that I see a lot of entrepreneurs make the mistake of not thinking about before they bring on a team member.  A lot of times, that comes from that place of desperation. You’re so desperate because you're tired, they're doing all the work. And now you’re thinking ‘forget my salary, I just need to pay someone and hire someone because I need to go on vacation or I need the weekend off.’ So make sure that you prepare financially so that you can feel good about this hire and that you're not sacrificing yourself and your lifestyle for the sake of having help immediately.” Why getting operations in place is vital.  “Getting prepared operationally means creating standard operating procedures and documenting everything before you bring someone on to your team. I cannot tell you during my days of being a virtual assistant for wedding and event planners, how many times people hired me and brought me in because they were so overwhelmed, and then when I started, they had no idea what they wanted me to do. This was really, really hard for me as a virtual assistant, because as a person who wants to help and show up to support people in their business, I could think of a million things that I could do to help them, but they honestly had no idea what they wanted me to help them with. Essentially what happens here is you become burnt out from training someone before they have even got to the place where they can support you, because everything's in your head, it's not on paper, it's not in a system.” How assessments can help you build a strong team. “One of the best things that I ever did in my business was incorporate things like the Enneagram. There are a lot of different tools out there that help you get to know the learning style and the communication style of the person that you want on your team. Before they join your team, but also once they're on your team, tools like the Enneagram and some of the other assessments out there, Strengthsfinder is another great one, these tools are gonna help you to not only be able to show up as the best leader possible, but to be able to create an environment where your employees and your new team members can thrive. Once I started to incorporate the Enneagram into my business, it allowed me to see not only how I show up in things like conflict, but how I show up as a leader.”  This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit maliquea.substack.com

    21 min
  5. 14. The Importance of Automation

    05/28/2021

    14. The Importance of Automation

    Are you using automations in your business yet? If you answered no, why not? We hear a lot of fears around using this amazing tool to make your life and business easier, and we want to squash them for you right now! In this episode, I’m sharing all the reasons why using automations is SUCH an important part of running a successful business, and why it’s NOT going to make you stale. I promise.   We discuss:  How automations won’t make your voice seem robotic...  That the fear you may have around it has a lot to do with your control issues...How using automations will actually free up your time for other parts of your business... How to use things like GIFs and great copy to keep it fun... Why your fear of automations breaking is actually holding you back... Here are some highlights... Automation Doesn’t Have to Be Impersonal  “Don't think about automation as this thing that's gonna take your business away from you. It's going to allow you to step away from your business to be able to do other things, but it's not going to be this thing that takes your business and changes it into something it's not. Your Fear of Something Breaking is Just a Control Issue “When you say: ‘I can't use automations because if something breaks, that would just be the end of the world,’ this is deeply rooted in a need for control and need for perfectionism. You’re having a hard time letting go and trusting a system to support you. These are some of those limiting rooted fears that keep us from growing as entrepreneurs, especially in the service-based industry. A way to reframe this is to consider: if you don’t implement automation and systems somewhere along the line, things are already broken.” Fear of What You Don’t Know. “A huge part of the reason that people hired me to help them with their systems and setting up their business to be more streamlined, is this fear that ‘if I implement a system or an automation that I don't know how to use right now, that learning curve will prevent that system from supporting me.’ Listen, this is where you have to trust that hiring the right person or outsourcing to the right person can be a game changer for you as it relates to automation and systems.” This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit maliquea.substack.com

    18 min
  6. 13. Vacation is Vital to Your Success

    05/12/2021

    13. Vacation is Vital to Your Success

    More often than not, entrepreneurs think that the path to success has to involve working endless hours, and burning out. They take pride in their ability to work 7 days a week, and succumb to ‘hustle culture’ even when it’s to their own detriment.  In this episode, I’m sharing all the reasons why taking a vacation is not only an important part of running your business, it's actually VITAL in its success.  We discuss:  Why taking a vacation and resting will actually INCREASE your output...How taking a vacation helps you tap into your intuition and make better decisions...How it can help you test your systems and your team...Why it’s so important to operate from a place of rest and joy...How your inability to take a break is actually harmful for your success... Here are some highlights... Limiting Beliefs. “We have this limiting belief as service providers that in order for us to rest or to take time off, it has to be earned. But you do not work a nine to five anymore where you have to accrue time off. Okay? You get to take time off whatever you want. You get to decide, maybe I don't respond to clients on Fridays or Mondays. This is your business, you get to design it however you want!” Working from a Place of Rest & Joy.  “When you start having fun again in your business, it starts to really get you in that high vibe, it helps you remember your why so clearly. And this is where you start to get some of those really fresh ideas when you are operating from a place of rest and joy. I'm telling you, it is like a switch.  So many things will come to you. You'll be like: “You know what, I'm not feeling that anymore. I don't wanna do that anymore.” It's not until we rest and until we are having fun where we go “you know what? These are the feelings that I wanna feel all the time, and this is what's gonna have to shift in my business in order for that to happen.” Those creative juices really start flowing, and I think that it's so powerful.” Tapping into your intuition. “Sometimes when people say, you know, trust your gut, listen to your intuition, they don't realize that intuition is just the ability to hear yourself.  [Being on vacation in London]  was the first time that I had been able to hear myself in a long time. I had so many revelations during that trip about what I actually wanted for my life as well as for my business. Going on vacation affords you the opportunity to get clarity! We fork out a ton of cash on little products and little things to help us get clarity, when sometimes it's just that sense of that inner knowing [that we truly need].”   Resources Mentioned in this episode: Untamed by Glennon Doyle,  https://untamedbook.com/ Run Like Clockwork by Mike Michalowicz and Adrienne Dorison, https://www.runlikeclockwork.com/ Book a VIP Day with Maliquea, https://www.maliqueastarnes.com/vipday This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit maliquea.substack.com

    21 min
  7. 12. Define Your Why

    05/05/2021

    12. Define Your Why

    Today I'm going to be sharing the one part of your business that needs to start and stay personal, and that is your why. I believe that when we ground down and connect to the purpose of our mission, we can create and sustain a truly successful business. But how do you identify that?  In this episode, I’m sharing five tips to help you define your why, so that you can truly have the business of your dreams.  We discuss:  Going deep and getting vulnerable...Considering the long haul...Sharing your why with your audience...Why you need to have grace...Giving it everything you’ve got... Here are some highlights... Deep Roots. “We want you to be able to say: I am so deeply rooted in this why and I have defined it and made it so super clear that it doesn't matter if this is a tough month. It doesn't matter if I'm not booking as many clients as I would like to book, I cannot be shaken. This metaphorical storm in your business is not going to take you out because those roots run deep. This allows you to get anchored in something that you deeply care about and that you're super passionate about.”  The Long Haul. “I want you to think about the long haul. Get really really sustainable with this and think about how long can I get behind this why? Is this a random thing that I feel really passionate about right now? Because if that's the case then maybe this is more of a hobby, maybe this is more of a side hustle, maybe this is something that you're just getting curious about. But when you're really serious about something and you want to do it for years and years to come, that's how it becomes sustainable. And that is one way that you can identify if you're in it for the long haul, but also if your why is sustainable.” Going All In. “When you decide that you're going to go all in on something, it is no longer about the numbers. It becomes about the transformation and the change that your clients are going to experience because you've committed to this with your full self, your mind, your heart, your soul is aligned with this why, and you know for a fact that this is the thing that you are meant to do in this world.” This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit maliquea.substack.com

    24 min

Ratings & Reviews

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out of 5
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About

Lately it seems like doing it perfectly and doing it all is a prerequisite to starting a business. It's time to call it quits! Host Maliquea Starnes, Wedding Planner and Venue Owner turned Business Strategist and Mindset Coach, shares thoughtful moments of reflection (also known as musings) on how she's showing up more intentionally in this season of life and business. Whether it’s setting more boundaries, growing a team and delegating, or sharing tips on how to pursue LESS. This is the place to be if you’re seeking real and honest conversations about the tough stuff, find a place where you can lay it all down, and rest in knowing you were never meant to carry it all. We’re creating space for women to abandon the chaos, shed the need to do it perfectly, and find their power through only doing what matters. Each week we'll explore the trade off that happens when we pursue less to create room for more, through authentic conversations with your favorite Muses in the industry! Freedom and Grace frequently show up here, and I hope you will too! maliquea.substack.com