After living the last 30 years in my cabin crafted of hand hewn beams and delicate moss roof. I emerged slowly and hesitantly back into society. Everyone walked around staring blankly into what I could only describe as talking magic glowy rocks. I acquired one of these magic glowy rocks and discovered it to be some type of phone with no actual buttons or rotary dial. One night while confusedly screaming at the magic phone rock a thing happened. I downloaded a “podcast.” Specifically, THIS podcast. Suddenly the room filled with the sound of two men making what I assumed were jokes. I was so alarmed by this development I hid in the damp cellar of my cabin for a week. I decided courage was necessary and played a full “podcast.” There were laughs sure but at what cost? I have decided to return to my cabin and fade from the memory of society all together. Before I did, I asked a 14 year old to scribe this message to the men who live in my magic glowy rock and “podcast.” So, to them, I say in all truthfulness this is the best podcast I have ever heard. To the rest of society I say repent, not because the end is near but because this will never end and without repentance you must live forever with that which you have done.
PS I’ll miss Cinnabon.
