The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast

Gary McFarlane
  • 3.7 (9)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Gary McFarlane helps you understand Sex, Porn & Love Addiction. This podcast dives into the neuroscience behind these issues, guiding you on the path to recovery. For more resources, visit: www.kairos-centre.com.  Helping you better understand the neuroscience of the brain and sharing what we now better understand about the brain's involvement, from childhood development. To help you effect change; find the real authentic you (whose truth self went off at a tangent in childhood); so that as you discover and become re-acquainted with the real you, having learnt to like yourself, you are equipped to be the best that you can be. Maximise the living of an increased quality of life; and on the journey, achieve recovery and sobriety from Sex, Porn & Love Addiction using The Kairos Centre Changement Recovery Online Webinar programme; bringing colour back to life - without shame.What may be the world's first fully comprehensive Video-on-Demand Webinar Programme to help you gain sobriety and Recover from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction patterns of behaviour.First address the unresolved past uncomfortable events and then go after the Compulsive/Addiction activities.

  1. 6d ago ·  Video

    How Your Attachment Style Shapes Your Sex Life — And Why It Goes Wrong (Part 2)

    Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre In an article by Christina Stefanou, BA (Hons) Marita P. McCabe, PhD - in The Journal of Sexual Medicine 2012, the association between adult Attachment and sexual functioning was the subject of an important research. The results demonstrated that higher levels of anxious and Avoidant Attachment were related to less satisfying sexual relationships, higher levels of sexual dysfunction, and different sexual intercourse frequencies and motivations for sex. "....Two independent dimensions explain individual differences in adult attachment. Attachment-related anxiety reflects the degree to which individuals fear rejection and abandonment. Attachment-related avoidance reflects the degree to which individuals experience discomfort with closeness and independence......early interactions with significant others instill expectations and beliefs subsequently shaping cognitions and behaviors with romantic partners in adulthood....." "...one theorectical framework that is particularly relevant to relationships and has been extended to sexuality research is attachment theory..." Gary trained under Thaddeus Birchard, founder of ATSAC (The Association for the Treatment of Sex Addiction and Compulsivity) — the body that shaped how sex and porn addiction is treated clinically in the UK. He works with both addicts and their partners through separate, specialist pathways, trains and supervises other therapists in this field, and hosts The Sex Addiction Podcast (66K+ downloads, 187 episodes). TAGS: Core/broad: insecure attachment, attachment styles, sex and intimacy, sexual intimacy problems, relationship psychology Specific/technical: attachment style and sex life, anxious attachment and sex, avoidant attachment and intimacy, disorganized attachment sexuality, attachment trauma and intimacy Intent-based: why is my sex life struggling, why do I avoid intimacy, why do I feel anxious during sex, how attachment affects sex, why can't I connect with my partner sexually Credibility/framework tie-in: trained by Thaddeus Birchard, ATSAC therapist, sex addiction specialist UK, accredited sex addiction therapist Long-tail: how insecure attachment ruins intimacy, attachment style and sexual dysfunction in relationships, signs insecure attachment is affecting your sex life Support the show

    How Your Attachment Style Shapes Your Sex Life — And Why It Goes Wrong (Part 2)

  2. Oct 14 ·  Video

    Why Insecure Attachment is Silently Ruining Your Sex Life

    Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre How Your Attachment Style Shapes Your Sex Life — And Why It Goes Wrong Why Intimacy Feels Impossible With Insecure Attachment (Trained by Thaddeus Birchard, Founder of ATSAC) Insecure Attachment Is Silently Ruining Your Sex Life (Sex Addiction Specialist Explains) If sex feels like a performance, a source of anxiety, or something you pull away from — or something you use to avoid feeling anything at all — the problem may not be your partner or your body. It may be your Attachment Style. In this video, Gary explains how Insecure Attachment (Anxious, Avoidant, and Disorganized) quietly shapes sexual intimacy: why closeness and desire can feel like opposing forces, how fear of rejection or engulfment plays out in the bedroom, and why many couples never connect the dots between a struggling sex life and the patterns formed in childhood. Gary trained under Thaddeus Birchard, founder of ATSAC (The Association for the Treatment of Sex Addiction and Compulsivity) — the body that shaped how sex and porn addiction is treated clinically in the UK. He works with both addicts and their partners through separate, specialist pathways, trains and supervises other therapists in this field, and hosts The Sex Addiction Podcast (66K+ downloads, 187 episodes). TAGS: Core/broad: insecure attachment, attachment styles, sex and intimacy, sexual intimacy problems, relationship psychology Specific/technical: attachment style and sex life, anxious attachment and sex, avoidant attachment and intimacy, disorganized attachment sexuality, attachment trauma and intimacy Intent-based: why is my sex life struggling, why do I avoid intimacy, why do I feel anxious during sex, how attachment affects sex, why can't I connect with my partner sexually Credibility/framework tie-in: trained by Thaddeus Birchard, ATSAC therapist, sex addiction specialist UK, accredited sex addiction therapist Long-tail: how insecure attachment ruins intimacy, attachment style and sexual dysfunction in relationships, signs insecure attachment is affecting your sex life Support the show

    Why Insecure Attachment is Silently Ruining Your Sex Life

  3. Oct 6 ·  Video

    Why You Panic When Someone Pulls Away (Attachment Expert Explains)

    Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre If you cling when someone pulls away, panic when a text goes unanswered, or want closeness and fear it at the same time, you're not "too much" — you're likely running an Attachment pattern formed long before the relationship you're in now.  In this video, Gary explains Anxious and Disorganized Attachment: where the terror of being abandoned comes from, why the two styles feel so different from the inside, and how early experiences of unreliable or frightening caregivers wire the nervous system to expect loss. Gary trained under Thaddeus Birchard, founder of ATSAC (The Association for the Treatment of Sex Addiction and Compulsivity) — the body that shaped how sex and porn addiction is treated clinically in the UK. He works with both addicts and their partners through separate, specialist pathways, trains and supervises other therapists in this field, and hosts The Sex Addiction Podcast (66K+ downloads, 187 episodes). TAGS: Core/broad: fear of abandonment, anxious attachment, disorganized attachment, attachment styles, attachment trauma Specific/technical: anxious attachment style, disorganized attachment style, abandonment issues, fearful avoidant attachment, attachment and childhood trauma Intent-based: why am I afraid of being abandoned, why do I panic when someone pulls away, signs of abandonment issues, why am I so clingy in relationships, how to heal abandonment fears Credibility/framework tie-in: trained by Thaddeus Birchard, ATSAC therapist, sex addiction specialist UK, accredited sex addiction therapist Long-tail: anxious vs disorganized attachment difference, signs of fear of abandonment in relationships, how childhood causes abandonment fear Support the show

    Why You Panic When Someone Pulls Away (Attachment Expert Explains)

  4. Sep 29 ·  Video

    Why "I Don't Need Anyone" Is Usually a Trauma Response, Not Strength

    Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre "I don't need anyone" often sounds like strength — but it's frequently a trauma response, not a personality trait. In this video, Gary breaks down hyper-independence: why it develops (usually from learning early on that relying on others wasn't safe or reliable), how it quietly damages relationships by keeping partners, friends, and family at arm's length, and why the people who most need connection are often the ones most convinced they don't. Gary trained under Thaddeus Birchard, founder of ATSAC (The Association for the Treatment of Sex Addiction and Compulsivity) — the body that shaped how sex and porn addiction is treated clinically in the UK. He works with both addicts and their partners through separate, specialist pathways, trains and supervises other therapists in this field, and hosts The Sex Addiction Podcast (66K+ downloads, 187 episodes). TAGS: Core/broad: hyper independence, trauma response, self reliance, emotional trauma, relationship psychology Specific/technical: hyper independence trauma, why I don't need anyone, avoidant coping, childhood trauma and independence, fear of relying on others Intent-based: why can't I ask for help, why do I push people away, is hyper independence a trauma response, why do I refuse help from others Credibility/framework tie-in: trained by Thaddeus Birchard, ATSAC therapist, sex addiction specialist UK, accredited sex addiction therapist Long-tail: signs of hyper independence, hyper independence and childhood trauma, how to unlearn hyper independence Support the show

    Why "I Don't Need Anyone" Is Usually a Trauma Response, Not Strength

  5. Sep 22 ·  Video

    Which of the 4 Attachment Styles Are You? (Secure vs. Insecure)

    Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Most relationship patterns — the ones you keep repeating without meaning to — trace back to one thing: your Attachment Style. In this video, Gary breaks down the four Attachment Styles (secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized), what drives each one, and why understanding yours is often the missing piece in relationships that keep hitting the same wall. This isn't about labelling yourself — it's about recognising the pattern so you can actually change it. Gary trained under Thaddeus Birchard, founder of ATSAC (The Association for the Treatment of Sex Addiction and Compulsivity) — the body that shaped how sex and porn addiction is treated clinically in the UK. He works with both addicts and their partners through separate, specialist pathways, trains and supervises other therapists in this field, and hosts The Sex Addiction Podcast (68K+ downloads, 192 episodes). TAGS: Core/broad: attachment styles, attachment theory, secure attachment, insecure attachment, relationship psychology Specific/technical: anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment, attachment style quiz, attachment and relationships Intent-based: what is my attachment style, why do I push people away, why am I so anxious in relationships, how to fix insecure attachment Credibility/framework tie-in: trained by Thaddeus Birchard, ATSAC therapist, sex addiction specialist UK, accredited sex addiction therapist Long-tail: signs of anxious attachment style, signs of avoidant attachment style, how attachment style affects relationships Support the show

    Which of the 4 Attachment Styles Are You? (Secure vs. Insecure)

  6. Sep 16 ·  Video

    Why "Attachment" Is Actually Detachment (The Hidden Psychology)

    Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre The Attachment That's Really Avoidance — Why Closeness Can Feel Like a Threat Why Some People Feel Closest When They're Actually Furthest Away  DESCRIPTION: What looks like attachment — staying, showing up, saying the right things — can actually be a form of detachment. Many people in relationships with addiction stay closely tied to the routine and the role, while emotionally checking out from the relationship itself. In this video, Gary unpacks the hidden psychology behind this pattern: why intense involvement in a relationship doesn't always mean genuine emotional connection, and how addiction, trauma, and self-protection can produce something that looks like closeness but functions as distance. Gary trained under Thaddeus Birchard, founder of ATSAC (The Association for the Treatment of Sex Addiction and Compulsivity) — the body that shaped how sex and porn addiction is treated clinically in the UK. He works with both addicts and their partners through separate, specialist pathways, trains and supervises other therapists in this field, and hosts The Sex Addiction Podcast (66K+ downloads, 189 episodes). TAGS: Core/broad: attachment vs detachment, relationship psychology, emotional detachment, addiction and relationships, betrayal trauma Specific/technical: attachment styles, avoidant attachment, emotional unavailability, detachment in relationships, addiction and emotional distance Intent-based: why do I feel disconnected in my relationship, signs of emotional detachment, why does closeness feel threatening, attachment vs avoidance Credibility/framework tie-in: trained by Thaddeus Birchard, ATSAC therapist, sex addiction specialist UK, accredited sex addiction therapist Long-tail: why attachment can look like detachment, hidden psychology of emotional distance, addiction and attachment issues Support the show

    Why "Attachment" Is Actually Detachment (The Hidden Psychology)

  7. Sep 11 ·  Video

    "What's Wrong With Me?" — The Question Every Sex Addict Asks

    Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Shame and self-criticism are often the real barrier to recovery — not the addiction itself, but the belief underneath it that you're not worth the work of healing. In today's video, trained sex and porn addiction specialist [Gary] walks through a practical 30-day self-compassion exercise designed to rebuild the distorted self-perception that years of shame and self-chastisement can create.   Gary trained under Thaddeus Birchard, founder of ATSAC (The Association for the Treatment of Sex Addiction and Compulsivity) — often described as the UK's foundational figure in the field. He works with both addicts and their partners through separate, specialist pathways, and hosts The Sex Addiction Podcast (66K+ downloads, 187 episodes). If shame is keeping you stuck, this exercise is where to start. TAGS: Core/broad:  sex addiction, porn addiction, sex addiction expert, sex addiction recovery, betrayal trauma Specific/technical:  why sex addiction is destructive, sex addiction and the brain, dopamine addiction, neurochemical addiction, sex addiction trauma, compulsive sexual behaviour Intent-based:  signs of sex addiction, how sex addiction affects relationships, is sex addiction real, sex addiction help, effects of porn addiction on relationships Credibility/framework tie-in:  ATSAC therapist, trained by Thaddeus Birchard, sex addiction specialist UK, accredited sex addiction therapist Support the show

  8. Sep 4 ·  Video

    Relapsed Again? Here's How to Get Back Up (Sex Addiction Expert Explains)

    Send us Fan Mail On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Let's look at Episode 189 recording from another perspective. Sobriety rarely happens in a straight line — and if you've relapsed and feel like you're back at square one, you're not failing at recovery, you're likely missing a piece of it. In this video, Gary explains why "white-knuckling" and willpower alone tend to collapse under pressure, and why lasting sobriety depends on treating the trauma underneath the addiction — not just managing the behaviour. If you've fallen down, this is how you get back in the fight. Shame and self-criticism are often the real barrier to recovery — not the addiction itself, but the belief underneath it that you're not worth the work of healing. Trained sex and porn addiction specialist [Gary] walks through a practical 30-day self-compassion exercise designed to rebuild the distorted self-perception that years of shame and self-chastisement can create.   Gary trained under Thaddeus Birchard, founder of ATSAC (The Association for the Treatment of Sex Addiction and Compulsivity) — often described as the UK's foundational figure in the field. ATSAC is the body that shaped how sex and porn addiction is treated clinically in the UK. Gary works with both addicts and their partners through separate, specialist pathways, and hosts The Sex Addiction Podcast (67K+ downloads, 189 episodes). If shame is keeping you stuck, this exercise is where to start. TAGS: Core/broad: Sex addiction, porn addiction, Love Addiction, sex addiction expert, sex addiction recovery, betrayal trauma Specific/technical: Why sex addiction is destructive, sex addiction and the brain, dopamine addiction, neurochemical addiction, sex addiction trauma, compulsive sexual behaviour Intent-based: Signs of sex addiction, how sex addiction affects relationships, is sex addiction real, sex addiction help, effects of porn addiction on relationships Credibility/framework tie-in: ATSAC Therapist, trained by Thaddeus Birchard, sex addiction specialist UK, accredited sex addiction therapist  Long-tail: Why sobriety feels impossible, relapse doesn't mean failure, how to recover from a relapse in sex addiction Support the show

    Relapsed Again? Here's How to Get Back Up (Sex Addiction Expert Explains)
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3.7
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About

Gary McFarlane helps you understand Sex, Porn & Love Addiction. This podcast dives into the neuroscience behind these issues, guiding you on the path to recovery. For more resources, visit: www.kairos-centre.com.  Helping you better understand the neuroscience of the brain and sharing what we now better understand about the brain's involvement, from childhood development. To help you effect change; find the real authentic you (whose truth self went off at a tangent in childhood); so that as you discover and become re-acquainted with the real you, having learnt to like yourself, you are equipped to be the best that you can be. Maximise the living of an increased quality of life; and on the journey, achieve recovery and sobriety from Sex, Porn & Love Addiction using The Kairos Centre Changement Recovery Online Webinar programme; bringing colour back to life - without shame.What may be the world's first fully comprehensive Video-on-Demand Webinar Programme to help you gain sobriety and Recover from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction patterns of behaviour.First address the unresolved past uncomfortable events and then go after the Compulsive/Addiction activities.

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