When They Were Young: Amplifying Voices of Adoptees

Lanise Antoine Shelley
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 What happens when the adoptee is centered as the hero in their own story? These are whole-hearted conversations with adoptees and adoption experts who are at the forefront of alchemizing adoption trauma into positive impact for you and the rest of the world. Each episode is designed to make you feel empowered, informed and fortified with a variety of methods, healing modalities and expert advice.This is for the adoptee, parents, and the adoption-curious. 

  1. 03/02/2025

    Ep. 80 Sara Easterly: Co-Author of Adoption Unfiltered & founder of Adoptee Voices

    Today we have  an adoptee who was a guest on episode 50 where we discussed the dangers of calling adoption a blessing. Sara Easterly is an adoptee, essayist, and author of books that include Adoption Unfiltered: Revelations from Adoptees, Birth Parents, Adoptive Parents, and Allies, and award-winning spiritual memoir, Searching for Mom. She is the founder of Adoptee Voices, which supports adoptees in their storytelling. She is also a trained course facilitator with the Neufeld Institute, with special interest in the intersection of attachment, child development, brain science, and adoption. We discuss: Check in on her book tours for Adoption Unfiltered (I make a cameo in this book!)The feeling of rejection for adopteesHow she found her book collaboratorsSara’s reunion with her biological familyThe corruption in adoptionThe new excuse to hold onto adoption narrativeBooks cited: Author Gabor Mate  "Addicted to Drama" by Dr Scott Lyons Daniel Nayeri the author of "Everthing Sad and Untrue" Gretchen Sisson the author of "Relinquished" (Guest on Episode 71) GUEST: www.saraeasterly.com https://www.instagram.com/saraeasterlyauthor/ https://www.facebook.com/saraeasterlyauthor https://x/saraeasterly Photo credit for bio pic: Adoptee Eileen Skahill Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here! JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”: NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC": RESOURCES ON ...

    37 min

  2. 02/22/2025

    Ep. 79 Rae "Adoptee Reclaimed" & 5 Tips For a Better Life

    Hi again! The idea of adoptees reclaiming themselves have perplexed certain people for awhile now. If you aren’t adopted or haven’t had an in-depth conversation with someone who is adopted you might wonder “What do they need to reclaim?” Today’s guest is Rae from Adoptee Reclaimed.  Rae is trauma-informed and versed in child development, brain-body integration, and addiction and abuse recovery coaching. Rae borrows somatic methods and Internal Family Systems which she customizes for adoptees. I stumbled across Rae from her Poetry contest. We discuss: Using our voice in a Poetic formWhy I’ve named the  podcast “When they were young”The silent assignment of adopteesRecognition of before the fogHistory of adoption with native AmericansReunion SupportHow we can best receive joyAnd 5 tips for quality of life (The 3rd tip will change the course of how you approach dating)Guest: Rae Adopteereclaimed.com Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here! JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”: NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC": RESOURCES ON ...

    42 min

  3. 01/11/2025

    Ep. 78 Eunnuri Lee: The power of content creating & Operation Olive Branch

    Happy New Year! This conversation is a great inspiration for this next chapter. Eunnuri Lee is a Korean-American activist, visual artist, and adoptee who I stumbled across on Tik Tok. I was instantly intrigued by her multidimensional content, her whimsical makeup and Megan thee Stallion commentary.  And the fact that she is an adoptee as well was sprinkles on the top.  This conversation covers just about everything. We discuss the importance of sex education and her partners app that he’s developing around conscious coupling. We talk about:  Eunnuri's visual artworkWhy transparency around influencers is importantHer journey to confidence as a beauty creatorAnd her work with Operation Olive BranchBooks mentioned: All about love by Bell Hooks Esther Perel Dating in Captivity Addicted to Drama by Dr. Scott Lyons GUEST: Eunnuri Lee Instagram - @eunnuri_lee / @oori_nuri TIktok - @eunnuri_lee Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here! JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”: NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC": RESOURCES ON ...

    56 min

  4. 12/21/2024

    Ep. 77 Shania Ives : The Dunbar Project & Family Preservation

    Hey there, love! Today we have Shania Ives as a guest! Shania is an adult adoptee from the UK, the Founding Director of The Dunbar Project, and a trainee integrative psychotherapist. Her mission is to create spaces for empowerment and growth within marginalized communities. Shania is the very first adoptee I’ve met whose adoptive parents strove to preserve Shania’s connection with her biological family. The story on how her Adoptive parents understood and organized themselves around  her trauma is breathtaking.  We discuss: The atmosphere of adoption in the UKShania's biological father’s struggle to keep her How she founded the Dunbar ProjectWhat Shania's philosophy to RECLAIM. REFRAME looks likeWe also unpack a variety of resources for extraordinary organizations and initiative for adoptees in the UK and beyondAnd Shania breakdown why is important to have Trauma informed caregivers. GUEST: Shania Ives @thedunbarproject www.thedunbarproject.org.uk Article on the Dunbar Project Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here! JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”: NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC": RESOURCES ON ...

    57 min

  5. 12/08/2024

    Ep. 76 Becca Flatt: An Expert on Estrangement & What is Forced Empathy

    Today I chat with Becca Flatt, who is a therapist and advocate specializing in adoption-related trauma, grief, and estrangement. A queer, Black, interracial biracial adoptee, she provides therapy exclusively for adoptees and consultations for both adoptees and adoptive parents. Becca facilitates an estrangement support group for adoptees with Adoption Mosaic and teaches an estrangement course for adoptive parents, helping clients navigate relational challenges with compassion, boundaries, and clarity. We discuss: -How she found the balance between accountability and understanding.  - How she defines what “Forced Empathy” looks like -What accountability looks like when you burn it to the ground - How she dealt with self hatred stemming from racism.  - Why adoptees forgo their comfort to support their adoptive parents.  - Misogynoir--what is it? -And Becca does touch on but does not go into detail how she is a sexual abuse survivor. GUEST: Becca Flatt @mending_the_adopted_heart www.mendedheart.org Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here! JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”: NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC": RESOURCES ON ...

    1h 21m

  6. 12/01/2024

    Ep. 75 SOLO 3 Things to help close out the year!

    Hey, loves! Today I give you three actionables (including a book) that will shift the way you react to people and the situations around you. As well as a tip to release expectations. The holiday season can be disappointing with unmet expectations, I think I know something that will help :) BOOK: Addicted to Drama by Dr. Scott Lyons Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here! JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”: NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC": RESOURCES ON ...

    20 min

  7. 11/23/2024

    Episode 74. Tara Nolan: Adoptees Born in China Podcast & The Chinese adoption laws

    Today I sit with Tara Nolan who is the co-hosts of the podcast (ABC) Adoptees Born in China show, where adoptees from China can listen to and share their adoption stories. This is a deeply thought provoking conversation around the Chinese laws to abolish international adoption and the emotional outcry of the Chinese adoptees who are the last adoptees from that region of the world.  We discuss: - Art and its impact on our lives  - The timeline of Chinese laws from the 1982 one child Nation Mandate - Tara's insights on the change in Chinese laws and what she thinks this means for adoptees here in the states. Guest: Tara Nolan @adopteesborninchinapodcast https://open.spotify.com/show/63VPA3IiyDrYN1XyS2bjiE Resources mention: Nanchang Project Chinese Adoptee Alliance Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here! JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”: NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC": RESOURCES ON ...

    1h 18m

  8. 11/16/2024

    Ep. 73 Ryan Jafar Artes: Afrofuturism and how to be walking poetry

    Today I have the pleasure of chatting with Ryan Jafar Artes, the host of adoptee Open Mic Tuesday zoom events and an award winning poet. We discuss:  The act of Reparenting ourselvesAnd how through the clear lens of sobriety, Ryan chose the community that poured into him. We touch on the imperative of supporting younger generations of adoptees, Afrofuturism and endofuturism that has inspired a more authentic existence where we can make mistakes and explore numerous outcomes. And we talk about what communities make us feel safe. Ryan also teaches us how to put our stories down with each other not in each other. And we finish with a course on how to give yourself the love language you desire. GUEST: linktr.ee/ryanartes  @ryanartespoet   @theadopteeopenmic on IG Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here! JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”: NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC": RESOURCES ON ...

    1h 9m
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 What happens when the adoptee is centered as the hero in their own story? These are whole-hearted conversations with adoptees and adoption experts who are at the forefront of alchemizing adoption trauma into positive impact for you and the rest of the world. Each episode is designed to make you feel empowered, informed and fortified with a variety of methods, healing modalities and expert advice.This is for the adoptee, parents, and the adoption-curious. 

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