Your Secret Is Safe With Me

Dr. Marie Murphy
  • 4.7 (102)
  • SEXUALITY
  • UPDATED BIWEEKLY

Dr. Marie Murphy talks about infidelity and other challenging relationship situations from a non-judgmental perspective. She shares practical tools and advice from her own coaching practice to help you make changes in your love life, and interviews professionals with complementary expertise, such as family law attorneys, mediators, non-violent communication specialists, and more. In addition, Marie discusses the social and historical context of romantic relationships to provide perspective on our taken-for-granted assumptions about how relationships are supposed to be. To learn more, visit mariemurphyphd.com.

  1. MAR 26

    230: When Your Infidelity Situation Takes Over Your Life

    When your infidelity situation starts to take over everything, it can feel like it's the only thing that matters, the only thing worth thinking about, and the only thing that will determine whether you're okay.   But what if the problem isn't just the situation itself, but how much space it's taking up in your life?   If you've been feeling consumed, stuck, or like your life is on hold, this episode will help you widen your lens and start making choices from a more grounded and intentional place.   Join me this week as I explore what happens when you become fixated on your infidelity situation and how that fixation can quietly shrink your world and distort your perspective. You'll learn why staying stuck in that mental loop often leads to more confusion and suffering, and why stepping back to look at your whole life can be one of the most powerful things you can do. I also introduce a simple but meaningful way to reconnect with yourself by asking what it's important for you to be, do, and have right now, rather than getting lost in the past or trying to predict the future.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/230   If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

    35 min

  2. MAR 12

    229: Radical Un-Shaming with David Bedrick

    Radical un-shaming sounds lovely in theory, but what does it actually look like when you are dealing with desires, behaviors, or parts of yourself that other people insist are unacceptable?    In this episode, I'm joined by author, teacher, and counselor David Bedrick to talk about shame, morality, psychology, and the limits of a therapeutic model that divides people into victims and perpetrators, good people and bad people.   Together, we explore how infidelity and other taboo experiences are so often approached through judgment rather than curiosity, and why that leaves so much of our humanity unseen.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/229   If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

    55 min

  3. FEB 26

    228: Podcast Greatest Hits: When You Love Your Partner and You Still Want to Cheat

    Is it possible to deeply love your partner and still want to have sex or romantic experiences with someone else?   If you're in a committed relationship that was supposed to be monogamous, and you find yourself wanting more than that, you may feel confused, ashamed, or worried about what that says about you. You may wonder if something is wrong with you, your partner, or your relationship.   In this episode, we'll explore the reality that desire for more than one person is not inherently a problem and does not automatically mean your relationship is broken.   Tune in this week as I unpack how our ideas about monogamy are shaped by social and historical forces, why wanting something outside the bounds of monogamy doesn't make you defective, and why your first priority is figuring out what you actually want. You'll also learn how to examine the reasons behind wanting to cheat or open your relationship, and how to think more consciously about the consequences you're willing to tolerate.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/228   If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

    27 min

  4. FEB 12

    227: Love, Sex, and Romance: What Do You Really Want?

    Have you been so immersed in your infidelity situation that it feels impossible to think clearly about anything else, let alone what you actually want from your love life?   When emotions run high and the drama feels all-consuming, it can be hard to step back and ask bigger, more honest questions about desire, fulfillment, and the life you're trying to build.   In this episode, I invite you to take a step back from the immediacy of your infidelity situation so you can reconnect with what truly matters to you.   Tune in to learn how gaining clarity about your own desires can shift how you see your infidelity situation and the choices in front of you. You'll hear why so many of us never define what love, sex, or romance actually mean to us, how unconscious assumptions can drive painful dynamics, and how stepping out of tunnel vision can help you make decisions that align with the life you want now, not the one shaped by drama or fear.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/227   If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

    28 min

  5. JAN 29

    226: Recovering From a "Bad Decision"

    Have you ever been paralyzed by the fear of making a "bad decision" about your infidelity situation?   Maybe you're terrified that you'll leave a good-enough marriage to pursue your affair partner, only to have that relationship fall apart. Or perhaps you're scared that any choice you make will doom you to eternal misery.   Here's what I want you to know: You are never doomed by any single decision you make. In fact, I have real-time proof of this truth, and I'm sharing it with you on this episode.   Tune in this week to hear why you're never doomed by any single decision or set of decisions you make, and how making decisions for clear reasons you like prevents regret, even when the outcomes might surprise you. If you're stuck in analysis paralysis about your infidelity situation, this episode will help you understand that bold decisions aren't irreversible sentences.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/226   If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

    36 min

  6. JAN 15

    225: Drunken One-Night Stands

    You had a drunken one-night stand while in a committed relationship, and now you're out of sorts about it.   Maybe you're torturing yourself with questions like: "Do I have to tell my partner?" "What does this mean about my relationship?" "How could I have done this?"   Here's the truth. Sometimes a one-night stand is simply a reflection of the fact that humans can be attracted to multiple people, but sometimes it's a way to distract yourself from dealing with dissatisfaction in your committed relationship.   Join me on this episode as I help you cut through the confusion by addressing the most common questions I receive about this topic. You'll learn how to examine your orientation to your committed relationship honestly, why you need to figure out where you stand before deciding whether to disclose anything to your partner, and how to stop letting this consume your precious time and energy.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/225   If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

    29 min

  7. JAN 1

    224: Going All-In On Your Desires

    Do you want to be lying on your deathbed saying, "Oh yeah, I'm really glad I didn't take that risk"?Or would you rather say, "Thank God I went all in on my desires"?   I'm asking because I just made a massive life change - I moved to Costa Rica two weeks ago. And let me tell you, it's been HARD. We've dealt with so many hurdles that within days, my spouse was ready to reevaluate. Within hours, I was asking myself "What have we done?!"   But here's what I know after coaching hundreds of people through infidelity situations: The bigger your dreams are, the more likely you'll have to go all-in to get what you want.   And going all-in? It's uncomfortable. It's not instantly rewarding. But if we hadn't done it, we'd still be sitting on our couch in San Francisco, wondering when the adventure would begin.   Whether you're considering leaving your marriage, coming clean about an affair, or making any other big life change, this episode will help you understand what it really takes to go all-in on your desires.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/224   If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

    39 min

  8. 12/18/2025

    223: Whose Job Is It to Change the Conversation About Infidelity?

    Have you ever found yourself keeping silent when someone makes a sweeping judgment about infidelity?   Maybe you've sat through conversations where people say things like "all cheaters are damaged people" or "once a cheater, always a cheater," and you've felt your stomach twist into knots.   You wanted to speak up, but you didn't. The fear of being found out or judged kept you silent. I get it. The stigma around infidelity can feel overwhelming and isolating.   But here's the thing: if you want to see the dominant conversation about infidelity become more nuanced and less stigmatized, you might need to participate in changing it yourself.   Join me this week as I explore why changing the dominant narrative about infidelity isn't someone else's job - it's yours, mine, and everybody else's. You'll discover why your voice matters in changing these conversations, how to respond to judgmental comments without defending infidelity, and why speaking up about your experiences might educate people in ways you never expected.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/223   If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

    38 min
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4.7
out of 5
102 Ratings

About

Dr. Marie Murphy talks about infidelity and other challenging relationship situations from a non-judgmental perspective. She shares practical tools and advice from her own coaching practice to help you make changes in your love life, and interviews professionals with complementary expertise, such as family law attorneys, mediators, non-violent communication specialists, and more. In addition, Marie discusses the social and historical context of romantic relationships to provide perspective on our taken-for-granted assumptions about how relationships are supposed to be. To learn more, visit mariemurphyphd.com.

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Marie Murphy
  • Years Active
    2020 - 2026
  • Episodes
    230
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 MARIE MURPHY, PH.D.
  • Show Website
    Your Secret Is Safe With Me

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