The Communicate & Connect Podcast for Military Relationships

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Military Marriage Counselor and Educator
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In The Communicate and Connect Podcast for Military Relationships, marriage counselor Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky explains relationship science and discusses educational tips for improving your relationship and navigating military family life.

  1. 3D AGO

    One Phrase That Can Stop a Fight in Its Tracks

    We've all been there…that moment in a conversation where your heart starts pounding, your voice gets a little louder, and suddenly you're saying things you know you'll regret the second they leave your lips. It's a heavy, lonely feeling when a simple disagreement turns into a "communication crossfire". If this sounds familiar, I want you to know you're not alone. These moments are often less about the bill that didn't get paid and more about a defensive cycle that pulls us away from the person we love most. In today's episode, I'm sharing one powerful, simple phrase that acts as an anchor to help you hit pause, lower the emotional temperature, and move back toward the same team What You'll Learn: When Conversations Go Off the Rails The Physiology of a Fight: Why We Lose Control The Power of a Shared Goal De-escalation in Action: A Practical Example Building Muscle Memory for Connection Moving from "Enemy" to "Teammate" >>> Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most. You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here. Read the show notes for this episode here.

    8 min

  2. FEB 2

    Rethinking Resilience: How Military Families Are Affected by the Resilience Narrative with Jennifer Barnhill

    Have you ever felt like you had to put on your "brave face" even when everything inside was crumbling? Many of us in the military community wear our resilience like a badge of honor, but sometimes that badge can start to feel quite heavy. You might notice that while everyone else is praising your strength, you're actually feeling more disconnected and alone than ever. In this episode, I'm joined by Jennifer Barnhill, military family reporter and the 2025 Navy Spouse of the Year, to talk about her new book, The Military Stories You've Been Told and the Ones You Need to Hear. We explore how the word "resilience" has morphed from a clinical term into a cultural expectation that can sometimes leave us feeling gaslit or dismissed . What You'll Learn: The Origin and Evolution of "Resilience" The "Performance" of Strength The Impact on the "Home Front How the Narrative Affects Your Relationship Moving Toward Authentic Connection The Hidden Reality of "Presenting" Resiliently The Role of Nonprofits and Community Systems A New Perspective on "Dependents" The Truth About Systemic Gaps Why There's "Always More to the Story"   >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here.

    26 min

  3. JAN 19

    How to Argue Without Hurting Each Other

    Arguments don't have to damage your relationship. In fact, how we navigate those moments of friction can actually become a bridge to deeper intimacy. In this episode of the Communicate and Connect Podcast, I'm sharing some "mini-tips" on the difference between healthy and unhealthy conflict and why building emotional safety matters so much more than winning an argument. What You'll Learn in This Episode: Arguments Don't Have to Damage Relationships Healthy vs. Unhealthy Conflict: Recognizing the Patterns The Impact of Criticism and Name-Calling Understanding Defensiveness and Dismissiveness Why We Avoid Money, Sex, and Kids Skill 1: Using I-Statements for Vulnerability My Personal Story: A Lesson in Loud Restaurants Skill 2: The Importance of Taking a Strategic Break Skill 3: Why Repair Attempts Build Confidence Building Long-Term Emotional Safety >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here.

    13 min

  4. JAN 5

    Navigating Erectile Dysfunction Together: Insights from Physical Therapist Eve Hall

    Has physical intimacy in your relationship started to feel like a source of anxiety rather than connection? You are not alone. In this episode of the Communicate and Connect Podcast, I'm joined by physical therapist Eve Hall to discuss a topic that many couples struggle with in silence: Erectile Dysfunction (ED). We often see a pattern where a physical struggle leads to emotional withdrawal. One partner feels shame, the other feels rejected, and suddenly, a "blockage" in the body becomes a blockage in the relationship cycle. Today, we're slowing down and getting curious about the physical, emotional, and relational sides of sexual health. What You'll Learn in This Episode: [00:00] - Why Men Hide Erectile Dysfunction [00:31] - Introducing Eve Hall: Physical Therapy for Sexual Health [2:24] - How Common is ED? (The Surprising Statistics) [2:58] - Physical vs. Psychological Causes of Erectile Dysfunction [4:52] - The Connection Between Sexual Health and Heart Disease [6:10] - Acoustic Wave Therapy and Dry Needling for ED [10:06] - How to Tell if ED is Caused by Anxiety or Relationship Conflict [13:30] - How to Talk to Your Partner About Erectile Dysfunction [15:48] - Why Penetration Isn't the Only Way to Have Great Sex [18:07] - Can Erectile Dysfunction Be Reversed? (Nutrition & Health Tips)   >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here.

    23 min

  5. 12/01/2025

    Why You Keep Having the Same Fight with Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky

    Have you ever wondered why you and your partner keep having the same argument — even when you both promise it won't happen again? In this episode, I dive into one of the most common patterns I see in couples therapy: the repetitive relationship fight. Whether it's about the dishes, money, parenting, or communication, couples often find themselves caught in a loop that feels impossible to break. But there's a reason these cycles repeat — and understanding them is the first step to changing them. I'll walk you through the three most common communication patterns couples get stuck in — pursue-withdraw pattern, attack-attack pattern, and withdraw-withdraw pattern— and show you how to recognize your own version. These patterns aren't signs of failure; they're simply part of the developmental process every relationship goes through as you learn to connect in deeper, more secure ways. You'll also learn how to start identifying and naming your cycle so you and your partner can begin interrupting it together — before it turns into another fight. In This Episode, You'll Learn: Why couples tend to repeat the same fights over and over The three main relationship patterns How unmet emotional needs drive recurring conflict Why these patterns are normal developmental tasks in relationships How to identify and name your specific relationship cycle A simple first step to pause the fight before it escalates If you've ever thought, "We're just stuck," this episode will help you understand what's really happening beneath the surface and how to take small, meaningful steps toward connection again. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here.

    12 min

  6. 11/03/2025

    68: How the Stories We Tell Ourselves Can Make or Break Our Relationship with Lindsey Carnick

    We all tell ourselves stories — about our partners, our relationships, and even about who we are. But what happens when those stories start to hurt our connection instead of helping it? In this episode, I sit down with Lindsey Carnick to talk about something that shapes every relationship — the stories we tell ourselves. As humans, we are meaning-making creatures. Our brains are constantly trying to connect dots, fill in blanks, and make sense of what's happening around us — especially in our closest relationships. But sometimes, the stories we tell ourselves aren't accurate, and they can quietly erode trust, intimacy, and emotional safety. Lindsey and I explore how these stories form, how they impact our reactions, and what we can do to change them. We also talk about what it really means to slow down, respond with intention, and remember that you and your partner are on the same team. In This Episode, You'll Learn: Why our brains are "meaning-making machines" and how that affects relationships How assumptions and quick judgments can fuel conflict The difference between reactions and responses — and why slowing down matters How to recognize your body's early warning signs of escalation Tools like the RLT Timeout to create space and safety during conflict The power of clear communication: setting your partner up for success Why remembering you're on the same team can transform your perspective If you've ever found yourself overthinking, assuming, or feeling misunderstood, this conversation will help you slow down, get curious, and reconnect with what's actually true. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here.

    44 min

  7. 10/06/2025

    67: Married to an Entrepreneur? 5 Relationship Survival Hacks You Need Now with Heather Jones

    Being married to an entrepreneur, especially within the unique context of military life, comes with a distinct set of challenges and rewards. How do you balance supporting your partner's dream while pursuing your own? What happens when household roles need to shift, and how do you navigate the difficult conversations about finances, time, and personal identity? In this episode "Married to an Entrepreneur? 5 Relationship Survival Hacks You Need to Know", Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky sits down with Heather Jones, a life coach for military spouse entrepreneurs, to have an honest conversation about the realities of being married to an entrepreneur. Heather shares her personal journey of transitioning from a military career and government work to becoming a stay-at-home mom and, eventually, a business owner.  Together, they explore the emotional hurdles, the internal battles with guilt and independence, and the practical strategies needed to make both the business and the relationship thrive. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here.

    29 min

  8. 09/01/2025

    How To Deal With Sibling Rivalry With Parenting Coach DJ Stutz

    Sibling rivalry is one of the most common challenges parents face, but did you know it can also be an opportunity for growth? In this episode, parenting coach DJ Stutz shares practical strategies on how to deal with sibling rivalry while fostering lifelong skills in your children. From creating weekly family meetings to teaching negotiation through playful roleplay, DJ explains how small, intentional actions can transform sibling conflict into valuable lessons in communication, boundaries, and empathy. She also reveals why giving children ownership over certain belongings, offering one-on-one time, and modeling healthy relationships can significantly reduce tension at home. Whether you're dealing with constant bickering, managing strong personalities, or simply want to encourage a healthier sibling bond, this episode offers actionable tips you can start using today. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here.

    31 min
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In The Communicate and Connect Podcast for Military Relationships, marriage counselor Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky explains relationship science and discusses educational tips for improving your relationship and navigating military family life.

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