The Communicate & Connect Podcast for Military Relationships

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Military Marriage Counselor and Educator
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In The Communicate and Connect Podcast for Military Relationships, marriage counselor Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky explains relationship science and discusses educational tips for improving your relationship and navigating military family life.

  1. 4d ago ·  Video

    How to Support Neurodivergent Teens Without Trying to "Fix" Them with Jamie Roberts

    When our kids are struggling, our natural instinct as parents is often to jump right into problem-solving mode . We want to push harder, structure tighter, or fix whatever is going wrong . But what if the more you try to fix, the less safe they actually feel on the inside? In this episode of the Communicate & Connect Podcast, I sit down with Jamie Roberts, a licensed marriage and family therapist and author who specializes in working with neurodivergent and neuroqueer teenagers . Jamie courageously shares her own journey as a late-diagnosed adult with ADHD, autism, and dyslexia, explaining how different life looks when a teen is met with curious connection instead of high-pressure compliance demands . We unpack the intense tug-and-pull of the teenage years—where kids crave independence but still deeply need to be taken care of . Jamie introduces the beautiful metaphor of "bowling alley bumpers" to describe healthy parental boundaries and explains how to shift from viewing a child's behavior as "defiance" to seeing it as a cry for nervous system regulation . Whether your teen has a formal diagnostic label or simply thinks a little outside the box, this episode will help you slow down, drop the blame, and build a bridge of authentic emotional safety .   Read the show notes for this episode here.   >>>Are you having the same conversation over and over? Many couples assume they have a communication problem when they're actually stuck in a relationship pattern that keeps creating the same conflict. Take the free Relationship Pattern Assessment to identify the pattern that may be keeping you disconnected and learn what to focus on next . Free Relationship Pattern Assessment

  2. Jul 13

    How to Handle Different Conflict Styles

    Have you ever noticed that during a disagreement, one of you always wants to talk things through right away, while the other desperately needs space ? Somehow, this difference in timing often turns into a much bigger fight than the original issue ever was . When one person says, "Can we talk about this?" and the other says, "Not right now," it doesn't just impact the relationship as a simple preference . It impacts the nervous system as a message that you don't care or you're too much . In this episode, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky breaks down the two most common conflict styles: the let's-talk-about-it-now person and the I-need-space person . Moving away from traditional, high-pressure advice to "just compromise," Elizabeth shares a gentle, attachment-focused re-frame . These roles aren't character flaws or bad habits; they are instinctual ways your nervous system tries to stay safe under stress . One moves toward connection to soothe anxiety, while the other pulls back to regain a sense of control and prevent emotional damage . Tune in to discover how to stop fighting about timing, drop the negative character stories, and create compassionate "fight rules" that protect your emotional connection so you can stay on the same team—even when you disagree . >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Download the free Fair Fight Agreement Template Read the show notes for this episode here.    Free Relationship Pattern Assessment Are you having the same conversation over and over? Many couples assume they have a communication problem when they're actually stuck in a relationship pattern that keeps creating the same conflict. Take the free Relationship Pattern Assessment to identify the pattern that may be keeping you disconnected and learn what to focus on next. 👉 https://pages.communicateandconnect.com/relationship-quiz

  3. Jul 6

    Caring for Aging Parents from a Distance - Preventing Caregiver Burnout with Janice Goldmintz

    Navigating the care of our aging parents is one of the most profound, yet least talked about, transitions we face as adults. This is really common—we rarely sit down to discuss end-of-life wishes or logistics until a sudden medical crisis throws us into an emotional whirlwind. When you are managing this transition from a distance—whether due to life circumstances or the unique demands of military deployment and relocation—the weight can easily ripple into your marriage, leading to invisible strain and emotional disconnection. In this episode, I sit down with gerontologist Janice Goldmintz to explore how couples can navigate these heavy role reversals, manage complex family dynamics, and protect their relationship bond while honoring their parents' autonomy. What this really means is that you don't have to carry this heavy weight alone. You'll walk away with small, practical tools to stay on the same team with your partner, lean on external resources safely, and build your own emotional resilience toolkit so you can thrive, not just survive. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Read the show notes for this episode here.    Free Relationship Pattern Assessment Are you having the same conversation over and over? Many couples assume they have a communication problem when they're actually stuck in a relationship pattern that keeps creating the same conflict. Take the free Relationship Pattern Assessment to identify the pattern that may be keeping you disconnected and learn what to focus on next. 👉 https://pages.communicateandconnect.com/relationship-quiz

  4. Jun 15

    Introvert Married to an Extrovert? Here's What Works.

    Have you ever looked at your partner and wondered, "How did we end up so completely different?" In this episode, we are pulling back the rug on the typical introvert-extrovert clash. We'll explore why this isn't actually a personality flaw or a sign of incompatibility, but a beautiful, natural difference in how your nervous systems get regulated. You'll learn how to stop tracking who "wins" the argument and start creating win-win compromises, establishing healthy time apart, and injecting intentional structure into your relationship so that both of your attachment needs feel honored. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Read the show notes for this episode here.    Free Relationship Pattern Assessment Are you having the same conversation over and over? Many couples assume they have a communication problem when they're actually stuck in a relationship pattern that keeps creating the same conflict. Take the free Relationship Pattern Assessment to identify the pattern that may be keeping you disconnected and learn what to focus on next. 👉 https://pages.communicateandconnect.com/relationship-quiz

  5. Jun 1

    Loneliness in Relationships - Why Stress, Busyness, and Disconnection Keep Us Feeling Alone with Dr. Sylvia Kalicinski

    Have you ever sat right next to your partner on the couch, completely silent, and realized you felt entirely alone? It is a heartbreaking sensation, but I want you to take a deep breath: you are not alone in this experience, and it doesn't mean your relationship is broken. This is really common, especially in military families where the pressure to keep everything looking fine is so high. In this episode, I sit down with the wonderful Dr. Sylvia Kalicinski, a licensed marriage and family therapist and author of Lonely AF: A Therapist's No BS Guide to Feeling Less Alone. Together, we explore how our fast-paced lives, childhood emotional survival strategies, and systemic pressures keep us trapped in an artificial "busyness" just to avoid the painful ache of loneliness. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Read the show notes for this episode here.    Free Relationship Pattern Assessment Are you having the same conversation over and over? Many couples assume they have a communication problem when they're actually stuck in a relationship pattern that keeps creating the same conflict. Take the free Relationship Pattern Assessment to identify the pattern that may be keeping you disconnected and learn what to focus on next. 👉 https://pages.communicateandconnect.com/relationship-quiz

  6. May 18

    79: Opposites Attract—Until They Don't. What Your Differences Are Really About

    Being different is so exciting—until it isn't. At first, it feels like a beautiful balance. One of you plans everything, and the other just goes with the flow. It evens you out. But over time, those exact same qualities can start to feel irritating, exhausting, or like you're constantly missing each other. If you've ever wondered why things feel so hard when you're both truly good people who love each other, you are definitely not alone. In this episode, we are pulling back the curtain on why we are drawn to our opposites and what those differences are actually trying to tell us when life gets stressful. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Read the show notes for this episode here.    Free Relationship Pattern Assessment Are you having the same conversation over and over? Many couples assume they have a communication problem when they're actually stuck in a relationship pattern that keeps creating the same conflict. Take the free Relationship Pattern Assessment to identify the pattern that may be keeping you disconnected and learn what to focus on next. 👉 https://pages.communicateandconnect.com/relationship-quiz

  7. May 4

    78: How Understanding Your Dreams Can Support Healing in Military Relationships with Ara Trembly

    Have you ever woken up from a vivid dream and wondered, "What was that all about?"  We often dismiss our dreams as "just dreams," but what if they were actually a window into the parts of ourselves we aren't yet seeing? In this episode, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky sits down with psychotherapist Ara Trembley to explore how paying attention to your dreams can reveal deep emotional patterns, solve life problems, and even support healing in military relationships. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Read the show notes for this episode here.    Free Relationship Pattern Assessment Are you having the same conversation over and over? Many couples assume they have a communication problem when they're actually stuck in a relationship pattern that keeps creating the same conflict. Take the free Relationship Pattern Assessment to identify the pattern that may be keeping you disconnected and learn what to focus on next. 👉 https://pages.communicateandconnect.com/relationship-quiz

  8. Apr 20

    77: The Real Reason Small Things Turn Into Big Fights

    If you've ever felt like you're having the same argument over and over again—just in different "costumes"—you are definitely not alone. Whether it's the laundry, a misinterpreted text, or the way the dishwasher is loaded, these small triggers often spiral into big explosions. In this episode, I'm walking you through why these "small things" feel so heavy and how to look beneath the surface to find the real emotional need that's crying out to be heard. In this episode, you'll learn: Why small triggers lead to huge explosions. The story of the socks and dishes. The Iceberg Metaphor: Surface topics vs. Emotional meaning. Attachment Fears: Why "forgetting" feels like "not caring." Breaking the Cycle: Why surface fixes don't last. Journal Exercise: Identifying the story you tell yourself. Awareness is the first step to change.   >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Read the show notes for this episode here.    Free Relationship Pattern Assessment Are you having the same conversation over and over? Many couples assume they have a communication problem when they're actually stuck in a relationship pattern that keeps creating the same conflict. Take the free Relationship Pattern Assessment to identify the pattern that may be keeping you disconnected and learn what to focus on next. 👉 https://pages.communicateandconnect.com/relationship-quiz

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In The Communicate and Connect Podcast for Military Relationships, marriage counselor Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky explains relationship science and discusses educational tips for improving your relationship and navigating military family life.

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