Gay Men Going Deeper

Michael DiIorio & Matt Landsiedel | Gay Men’s Brotherhood
  • 4.5 (401)
  • Relationships
  • Biweekly

Gay Men Going Deeper is a podcast about gay relationships, identity, sexuality, and personal growth for gay men navigating modern life. Hosted by Michael DiIorio and Matt Landsiedel, the show dives into topics like dating, shame, masculinity, confidence, emotional intimacy, and the pressures of modern gay culture. Expect raw conversations, psychological insight, and the kind of honest discussions that challenge assumptions and invite deeper reflection about what it means to live authentically as a gay man.

EARLY ACCESS

Get ad-free, early access episodes!

$1.99/month

  1. Dec 10 · Early Access Early Access

    Why Vulnerability Is So Hard, and How to Overcome It

    Being vulnerable sounds simple enough: open up, share your feelings, and let people see the real you. So why can it feel so terrifying? In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we're exploring what makes vulnerability so difficult, especially for gay men who may have spent years learning to hide parts of themselves, avoid rejection, or keep their guard up. We're also getting personal about the areas where vulnerability still challenges us, because even when you've done a lot of personal growth, there are always new edges to explore. In this episode, we discuss: - Why vulnerability feels so uncomfortable and the different fears that hold us back - How growing up gay can shape our willingness to open up and be seen - The ways we protect ourselves from rejection, judgment, and emotional discomfort - Our own personal growth edges and where we still struggle with vulnerability - Practical ways to build the courage and self-trust to be more vulnerable Vulnerability doesn't mean sharing everything with everyone or waiting until you feel completely safe. It's about learning to take emotional risks, even when you can't control how someone else will respond.

    Why Vulnerability Is So Hard, and How to Overcome It

  2. Nov 26 · Early Access Early Access

    Are You Actually Ready for Love, or Just Lonely?

    You want a partner. But do you want him, or do you just want someone to text, someone to spend your nights with, and make you feel less alone? In this episode, we unpack the blurry line between genuinely wanting a relationship and wanting one to escape loneliness. We explore: - What emotional readiness for a relationship actually looks like - How loneliness can influence who we date and what we tolerate - The different types of loneliness and what they’re actually asking for - Why gay men can experience loneliness differently - How to navigate loneliness without making it mean something is wrong with you or your life The goal isn’t to become so good at being single that you stop wanting love. It’s to make sure loneliness isn’t choosing your partner for you.

    Are You Actually Ready for Love, or Just Lonely?

  3. Nov 12 · Early Access Early Access

    Who’s In Your Corner? How to Build a Better Support System

    Having people in your life and actually letting them support you are two different things. In this episode, Matt and Michael talk about what it means to have a strong support system, why asking for support can feel surprisingly difficult, and how to get clearer about what we actually need from the people in our lives. We explore the difference between healthy independence and handling everything alone, why support doesn’t have to be reserved for a crisis, and how giving and receiving support builds greater trust, intimacy, and connection. In this episode: - Who we actually turn to when life gets difficult - Why asking for and receiving support can feel uncomfortable - How to ask clearly for the kind of support you need - The difference between supporting someone and trying to fix them - How everyday support builds stronger, deeper relationships Want to discuss this topic with fellow podcast listeners? Join our Connection Circle on November 19: https://gaymensbrotherhood.com/events/whos-in-your-corner-giving-getting-asking-for-support/

    Who’s In Your Corner? How to Build a Better Support System

  4. Oct 29

    300 Episodes Later: Growing, Changing & Still Figuring It Out

    300 episodes over six years. A lot has changed. For our 300th episode, Michael, Matt, and Reno are back together at the mic for the first time in three months to look back at where Gay Men Going Deeper started, how we’ve changed along the way, and what we’re still figuring out. We’re revisiting some of those early days (including the things that make us cringe now), sharing beliefs we once held strongly that we see very differently today, and getting honest about the areas in our own lives where we’re still learning and growing. Whether you’ve been with us since the beginning or this is your first episode, thanks for going deeper with us. Today's Hosts: Matt Landsiedel Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

    300 Episodes Later: Growing, Changing & Still Figuring It Out

  5. Oct 15

    The Gay Man’s Healing Journey: What Is The Inner Work And How Do We Actually Do It

    Growing up gay shapes you. Even if you had a relatively good experience, many of us learned to hide parts of ourselves, seek approval, stay guarded, or adapt in order to feel safe, accepted, or lovable. Over time, those survival strategies can quietly shape our relationships, confidence, intimacy, and sense of self. In this episode, we’re talking about the “inner work” many gay men find themselves doing as adults: unpacking old conditioning, unlearning shame, building self-trust, and learning how to live more honestly and fully as ourselves. We also share parts of our own journeys, the patterns we see in our clients, and what real growth actually looks like in practice. We get into: How growing up gay can shape your self-esteem, relationships, and identity The difference between healing, self-awareness, and staying stuck in the past Common coping strategies gay men develop to feel safe, desired, or accepted What meaningful personal growth actually looks like in everyday life The balance between understanding your past without making it your identity This is a grounded conversation about growth, self-awareness, and becoming more fully yourself — not perfectly healed, but more conscious, honest, and free. Today's Hosts: Matt Landsiedel Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifeti... Chapters (00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deep: The Gay Man's Healing Journey(00:03:47) - Unlearning the Shame of Being Gay(00:09:34) - The inner work of shame(00:10:50) - Healing Emotional Wounds and Protective Strategies(00:13:41) - Why Does Being Gay Need to Be Healed?(00:16:01) - What are the pain points people come to you for?(00:17:38) - What is Self-Confidence and Self Worth?(00:22:10) - Six things we're actually healing in our gay relationships(00:26:53) - How to Heal From Trauma (Gay Men)(00:32:04) - How to Get Back On Your Path(00:32:27) - What's The Secret to Being the Man You Want to Be(00:33:44) - How To Become The Man You Want To Be(00:37:30) - Gay Men's Brotherhood

    The Gay Man’s Healing Journey: What Is The Inner Work And How Do We Actually Do It

  6. Oct 1

    Growing Up Different: The Impact on Belonging

    Growing up different can leave a lasting impact on how we see ourselves, our relationships, and our sense of belonging. Even years later, many gay men still carry the feeling of being on the outside looking in—surrounded by people, yet not truly known. In this episode, we're exploring the roots of belonging, why so many gay men struggle with deep loneliness, and what it actually takes to find meaningful connection. We get into: The difference between fitting in and truly belonging Why you can have friends and still feel profoundly lonely How shame and abandonment wounds shape our relationships The role authenticity plays in creating real connection Why belonging isn't about everyone agreeing with you—and what it actually requires Practical ways to cultivate a deeper sense of belonging in your life If you've ever felt like you don't quite fit, this conversation is a reminder that belonging isn't about becoming someone else—it's about finding the courage to let yourself be known. Today's Hosts: Matt Landsiedel Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report. Chapters (00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deep: How Did Growing Up Gay Affect My Sense(00:04:52) - How Growing Gay Affected My Sense of Belonging Today(00:10:57) - Gay Men Talking About Being Gay(00:15:28) - Michael on Being Gay and Growing Up(00:18:56) - How to Belong as a Child(00:20:50) - The Shame of Being Gay(00:24:31) - What It's Like To Be Gay(00:28:32) - How Did Growing Up Gay Affect My Sense of Belonging?(00:29:22) - What Does Belonging Mean to You?(00:31:26) - You Talk About Belonging To Your Sexual Pleasure(00:35:42) - The Importance of Belonging(00:37:57) - What Does Belonging Mean To You? Part 2(00:39:30) - How do you find belonging in your life?(00:42:24) - Are Gay Spaces Necessary For Dating?(00:46:36) - A Couple's Surprise(00:47:28) - What Does Belonging Mean To You?(00:48:57) - Michael On The Importance Of Self-(00:51:25) - What's the space that you feel most comfortable being yourself in?(00:52:36) - Gay Men's Brotherhood: The Coaching Collection

    Growing Up Different: The Impact on Belonging

  7. Sep 17

    When To Get Off the Apps (And When to Go Back On)

    Apps are a huge part of modern gay life. We delete them, reinstall them, swear them off, go back on, and keep trying to figure out whether they’re helping us connect or quietly getting in the way. In this episode, we’re talking about app seasonality: that on-again, off-again relationship many gay men have with the apps, and the skill of knowing when they’re serving you, when they’re draining you, when to use them…and when to lose them. We’re getting into: Why apps can be the right choice in one season and the wrong choice in another How to know when it’s time for a break or hiatus When getting back on the apps can actually be the healthy choice The difference between using apps intentionally vs. compulsively How the apps can reveal your patterns around rejection, desire, sex, dating, and self-worth Whether you’re on the apps, off the apps, or currently “just checking who’s nearby,” this conversation will help you bring more honesty, agency, and self-trust to the way you use them. Today's Hosts: Matt Landsiedel Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report. Chapters (00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deep: Grindr On-Off-Again(00:01:31) - Apps' On-Again, Off-Again Cycle(00:02:14) - Matt on Why He Joined Grindr(00:06:03) - Michael Jackson on 'Both'(00:06:14) - On The Difference Between Grindr and Hinge(00:08:28) - Gay Dating: Compulsivity vs Intentionality(00:11:37) - Scruff's 'What's Behind the Paywall'(00:13:10) - When It's Time To Take a Break From Grindr(00:16:59) - Marriage on Grindr When You're Traveling(00:19:23) - Gay Men on Dating Apps(00:22:48) - Both Apps and No Apps(00:23:17) - "No Response Is a Response" on Grindr, Hinge(00:26:45) - When Do You Know You're Ready to Go Back On?(00:28:15) - What Are You Looking To Experience With Your Gay Guy?(00:32:16) - What is Your Ideal Pace of Connection?(00:34:07) - Amino and Matt on Gay Men's Brotherhood

    When To Get Off the Apps (And When to Go Back On)

  8. Sep 3

    Why Bad Boys Feel So Good

    Why do the guys who are a little distant, a little edgy, and a little hard to get feel so magnetic? Is it actually attraction…or is a deeper pattern being activated? In this episode, we unpack what’s going on underneath the pull toward “bad boys” and why it can feel so intense, compelling, and hard to walk away from. We talk about: What exactly is it about “bad boys” that makes them so attractive What we’re really responding to beneath the surface  Why intensity can feel like chemistry, but isn’t always compatibility What “bad boys” do well that “nice guys” can learn from How to take those traits into your own dating life—without the chaos If you’ve ever found yourself drawn to someone who felt exciting but hard to reach, this episode will help you understand why—and what to do differently. Today's Hosts: Matt Landsiedel Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report. Chapters (00:00:00) - Why Bad Boys Feel So Good(00:01:38) - Are Bad Boy Guys Hot?(00:03:19) - What Are We Actually Attracting To Bad Boys?(00:07:24) - Good Boy vs Bad Boy(00:11:08) - Good Boy Or Bad Boy?(00:15:05) - Queer as Folk on Michael(00:16:00) - A Neil Gaiman's Brotherhood(00:16:43) - What Can We Learn From Bad Boys?(00:20:36) - Is Your Bad Boy Unafraid Of Getting Cancelled?(00:22:00) - Do Bad Boys Get Attracted To Women?(00:24:28) - I'm The Bad Boy(00:27:39) - Good Boy vs. Bad Boy(00:30:45) - Good Boy vs. Nice Guy(00:32:13) - The Gay Man Going Deeper: Nice Guys

    Why Bad Boys Feel So Good
See All (304)

4.5
out of 5
401 Ratings

About

Gay Men Going Deeper is a podcast about gay relationships, identity, sexuality, and personal growth for gay men navigating modern life. Hosted by Michael DiIorio and Matt Landsiedel, the show dives into topics like dating, shame, masculinity, confidence, emotional intimacy, and the pressures of modern gay culture. Expect raw conversations, psychological insight, and the kind of honest discussions that challenge assumptions and invite deeper reflection about what it means to live authentically as a gay man.

Information

You Might Also Like