The Inner Work Conversation

Nikki Cross
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The Inner Work Conversation podcast offers straightforward, no-nonsense insights into the inner workings that drive business success. Join me as I delve into the world of personal development and coaching, unlocking the true potential of your inner leadership so you can thrive in both life and business. Get ready for real talk that goes beyond the surface, revealing the essential elements that empower you to reach new heights. nikkicross.substack.com

  1. 326. Stop making decisions when you're emotionally rattled (do THIS instead)

    1D AGO

    326. Stop making decisions when you're emotionally rattled (do THIS instead)

    Related episodes: 271 - How I got better at handling uncertainty 319 - The Messy Middle: where most people quit, and what to do instead 181 - Learning how to trust yourself is a profitable skill 280 - Powerful assumptions that will help you win in business 124 - How your assumptions are holding you back 105 - HERE is how to build self assurance If you’ve been questioning everything lately … your business, career, money, or direction… because you feel overwhelmed, uncertain, or emotionally rattled… this episode is for you. In Episode 326 of The Inner Work Conversation, I talk about something I see constantly (in myself and in the people I work with): Trying to action away uncomfortable feelings. This is a short, honest listen about emotional dysregulation, fear-based decisions, and how to stop making big moves just to escape how you feel. If you’ve ever thought: * “I need to fix this NOW.” * “I can’t cope with this feeling. I must do something.” …this episode is for you The pattern You feel something uncomfortable: Fear.Pressure.Uncertainty.Overwhelm. And almost immediately your system goes: I need to do something. NOW. So you start: * comparing your offers / CV / website * redoing your strategy (again) * questioning your direction… your future… your LIFE You reshuffle. Reorganise. Make big decisions. Burn things down. Not from clarity.From dysregulation. From trying to escape how you feel. As I say in the episode: none of this action comes from strategy – it comes from trying to escape the inner experience. That’s the real pattern. Fear-based decisions feel different They usually feel: Urgent.Mentally loud.Heavy.Rushed.Pressured. With thoughts like: “I just need to fix / figure this out right now…” That’s not intuition.That’s your nervous system in distress. One of the biggest reminders I share: Feeling unsafe does not mean something needs to be fixed (right now). Grounded decisions don’t come from panic They feel quieter.They don’t arrive with chaos. They come after you’ve allowed yourself to feel what you’re feeling instead of trying to action it away. Your inner dialogue starts to sound more like: “I don’t need to solve this today.”“I’ve handled hard things before.”“I don’t need to dismantle everything right now.” Getting yourself to that place?That’s self-leadership. Here’s the rule I now live by: I act when I’m calm. I don’t make big decisions when I feel overwhelmed, scared, or desperate for certainty. Because the thing you’re obsessing over is rarely the real problem. Usually, it’s how you feel that needs tending to - not the external situation. A few lines from the episode “Please stop trying to action away your inner experience. Because when you do that, you are not making good decisions on behalf of yourself.” (05:21) “The situation hasn’t changed. It’s just suddenly urgent because now I’m uncomfortable – and my nervous system wants out.” (08:19) “I’ve learnt to recognise when I’m in that place because it feels like I’m scratching around to find a decision, not receiving one – forcing one.” (07:56) “Although it feels like the end of the world if I don’t fix it right now, I’ve learnt I don’t need to solve this today. I’ve handled hard things before.” (10:29) If you’ve been in “I must do something” mode lately, this episode might be exactly what helps you slow down, reconnect with yourself, and make decisions from clarity instead of fear. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nikkicross.substack.com

    36 min
  2. 325. How to turn comparison into confidence (really)

    FEB 11

    325. How to turn comparison into confidence (really)

    …But the most damaging comparison isn’t external - it’s internal. It’s you vs the version of you in your head who: * Never struggles * Always feels motivated * Copes better * Finds things easier That version doesn’t ...even ...exist. But we still use it as the benchmark. And then we wonder why everything feels heavier than it needs to. Why do you find it so hard? Ermmm maybe because it’s (objectively) hard... One of the most important reminders from this episode: When you’re wondering “what’s wrong with me ... .Why am I finding it so hard??” Remember: Some things are hard because they are objectively hard. Not because you’re weak. Not because you’re behind. Not because you’re incapable. But when you’re in the messy middle - the discomfort, the part when you don’t know if it’s all working ... your brain will often turn struggle into a personal failing. This episode is about catching that moment ...and choosing not to be another voice in your own head tearing you down. A BETTER way to use comparison (that actually builds confidence) Here’s the realisation that changed everything for me: Instead of comparing yourself to the version of you who never struggles…compare yourself to the version of you who didn’t even show up. The version who: * Didn’t send the proposal in the first place * Didn’t put themselves forward for that thing * Didn’t go to the class / networking event / interview * Didn’t try Suddenly, everything you’re doing becomes bonus effort, not evidence that you’re failing. That’s how comparison starts to build confidence instead of erode it. Because let’s not forget - YOU HAVE A CHOICE... Let your effort count Your 100% won’t look the same every day. Comparing yourself to fantasy standards disconnects you from reality ...and from your own progress. Episode 325 is about: * How to stay grounded when you want to self-doubt-spiral * How to use comparison in a healthier way * How to stop the inner critic mid-effort * How to let your effort count ... not in a ‘toxic positivity’ kind of way, but in a balanced way. ...Especially on days when you feel tired, hormonal, stretched, or off-form. Quotes from episode 325: “Most comparison isn’t to other people. It’s comparing yourself to the perfect version of you that doesn’t even exist.” (~16:20) “There are enough people in the world who will put you down. I don’t need to be another voice in my own head doing that to myself.” (~17:42) “Our brains naturally focus on where we’re behind. But every book I read comes back to the same thing: you’ve got to let your progress count.” (~27:24) Loved this? Here’s more episodes linked to this topic: * Episode 323 – Self Sabotage * Episode 203 – The Costs of Dodging Disapproval in Business * Episode 80 – Unhooking from Praise & Criticism This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nikkicross.substack.com

    29 min
  3. 324. Not everyone who's watching you is judging you (part 2 to episode 321)

    FEB 4

    324. Not everyone who's watching you is judging you (part 2 to episode 321)

    This episode is a direct follow up to episode 321 linked HERE. Other linked episodes: 280: Powerful assumptions that’ll help you win in business 132: Let’s talk about visibility - are you hiding? 247: “they don’t like me” and other ideas that are screwing you over 212: Building the emotional capacity you need to do business well This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nikkicross.substack.com

    21 min
  4. 323. Self sabotage: 3 sneaky ways capable people hold themselves back

    JAN 28

    323. Self sabotage: 3 sneaky ways capable people hold themselves back

    Join the book club HERE : https://www.theinnerwork.co.uk/bookclub Mentioned episodes: Sarah Nolan’s “the Wellness Brief” podcast - episode 37 linked HERE * Your brain is sabotaging you * Are YOU secretly sabotaging? * Why overcomplicating things is ACTUALLY self sabotage * Self sabotaging? Fix: assume the opposite * Grit, grace, adversity & acceptance * I self sabotage, you self sabotage - we ALL self sabotage This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nikkicross.substack.com

    36 min
  5. 322. You don't need more thinking...you need a place to think

    JAN 21

    322. You don't need more thinking...you need a place to think

    JOIN HERE: https://www.theinnerwork.co.uk/theinnerworkclub - DOORS CLOSE 26th Jan. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nikkicross.substack.com

    28 min
  6. 321. When you let yourself be seen ...and people have opinions (a personal share on visibility, authenticity & judgement)

    JAN 19

    321. When you let yourself be seen ...and people have opinions (a personal share on visibility, authenticity & judgement)

    Join the Inner Work Club here: https://www.theinnerwork.co.uk/theinnerworkclub Linked episodes: 297 - Are you( ready for the Inner Work? 280 - Powerful assumptions that will help you win in business 320 - three things I do to keep myself on track 234 - when you just want to know it’ll all be ok, listen to this 271 - How I got better at handling uncertainty This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nikkicross.substack.com

    29 min
  7. 320. How I turn doubt to determination

    JAN 17

    320. How I turn doubt to determination

    Join the Inner Work Club here: https://www.theinnerwork.co.uk/theinnerworkclub More episodes on doubt: 280 - Powerful assumptions that will help you win in business 320 - three things I do to keep myself on track 234 - when you just want to know it’ll all be ok, listen to this 271 - How I got better at handling uncertainty This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nikkicross.substack.com

    22 min
  8. 319. The Messy Middle: Where most people quit (and what to do instead)

    JAN 15

    319. The Messy Middle: Where most people quit (and what to do instead)

    Join the Inner Work Club HERE: https://www.theinnerwork.co.uk/theinnerworkclub Episodes linked: 260 - the power of backing yourself in business 240 - the messy middle we need to normalise 264 - the reason you’re stuck & what to do about it 275 - Handling your inner critic 272 - about your self doubt This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nikkicross.substack.com

    28 min
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About

The Inner Work Conversation podcast offers straightforward, no-nonsense insights into the inner workings that drive business success. Join me as I delve into the world of personal development and coaching, unlocking the true potential of your inner leadership so you can thrive in both life and business. Get ready for real talk that goes beyond the surface, revealing the essential elements that empower you to reach new heights. nikkicross.substack.com

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