Midlifing

Lee Miller and Simon Ellis

Two friends Lee and Simon have serious conversations about silly things, and silly conversations about serious things. Together they dig into the pleasures, absurdities and imperfections of being human.

  1. 6d ago

    300: Oh So You Found Chocolate That You Were Denied

    Send us Fan Mail Simon and Lee catch up after a stretch apart: Simon turns 58 in Scotland, complete with a sleeper train that quietly failed to leave London and a lakeside sauna ritual, and comes home to an accepted offer on a new flat close enough to see from his window. Lee, holding down the Lisbon end of things, hosts long-time listeners Josh and Craig and finds a speakeasy behind a knitting shop. Two confessional dreams surface along the way – Simon stealing chocolate from an unimpressed houseguest, and Lee shouting at Bob over a missing cheese sandwich mid-flight. Mentioned Josh and Craig – long-time listeners of the podcast who came to Lisbon for a brief visitDahlander [?] – a Lisbon friend jokingly called "the mayor of Lisbon" for knowing everyone; name as spoken, spelling uncertainA speakeasy-style club near Rato/Campo de Ourique, Lisbon [?] – entered through a false-front knitting shop, down two flights to a small live-music venue; the venue's own name was unclear in the transcriptHarry Styles – invoked in a riff about impeccably tailored shorts and personal styleAriana Grande – named as the kind of star who, unlike Harry Styles, would not turn up to a low-key Lisbon clubDiana Ross / Barbra Streisand [?] – one of the two supposedly chartered the private jet in Lee's dream, which ended in a missed cheese sandwich and a furious wake-up; unclear which name was actually saidCadbury – chocolate brand discussed via a childhood memory of a nearby factory in Dunedin, New Zealand, and a perceived decline in qualityThe Caledonian Sleeper – the overnight London–Scotland train that was quietly towed back to the station and re-departed without waking sleeping passengersLöyly [?] – the Finnish word for the steam released when water hits the sauna stones, given per the speaker's own uncertain pronunciationGet in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. --- The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

  2. Aug 26

    299: Do You Like The Atmosphere On The Moon?

    Send us Fan Mail Simon returns from holiday with a question rather than the usual content: should there be a limit on turning your own trauma into comedy, prompted by Amanda Knox's new Edinburgh Fringe show about her wrongful imprisonment for Meredith Kercher's murder. Lee takes it somewhere more personal, tracing his low tolerance for comedy that punches down through a brutal old episode of Never Mind the Buzzcocks and an admission that even David Sedaris can be too cruel for him. It ends, unexpectedly, on two flat viewings: an estate agent he clicked with instantly through jokes, and one who won by actually listening. Mentioned Amanda Knox – wrongly convicted, later exonerated, of Meredith Kercher's murder in Perugia; now has a comedy show at the Edinburgh Fringe about the experience, prompting the episode's central question about the ethics of turning trauma into materialMeredith Kercher – the murdered student at the centre of the Knox case; her family's objection to being invoked in Knox's show is discussedEdinburgh Fringe – festival where Knox's show is currently runningNever Mind the Buzzcocks (BBC2) – music quiz show; a stretch of episodes hosted by a young Simon Amstell recalled as brutally punching down at guestsSimon Amstell – Buzzcocks host; remembered for harsh treatment of Amy Winehouse and for reading a Celebrity Big Brother contestant's memoir aloud on air to embarrass her boyfriendAmy Winehouse – an episode featuring her on Buzzcocks recalled as especially shockingCelebrity Big Brother – recalled for a series in which an ordinary person was planted in the house disguised as a minor celebrityChantelle Houghton – won that series posing as a celebrity, later mocked on Buzzcocks over lines from her memoir; name uncertain from the transcriptPreston – musician and Chantelle's boyfriend at the time, remembered walking off during the on-air mockeryThe Daily Mail – newspaper behind the mocked photoshoot line from Chantelle's memoirDavid Sedaris – essayist; his writing about his family, including his sister's suicide, discussed as sometimes tipping from painful into cruelGet in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. --- The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

  3. Aug 19

    298: The Exception That Proves The Rule, Which Makes No Sense

    Send us Fan Mail Simon and Lee start off sleepy and a little weepy, which somehow tips into a debate about the line between pornography and eroticism, sparked by the Heated Rivalry novels Bob bought Lee for his birthday (which, they discover, started life as Bucky Barnes/Captain America slash fiction). From there it's kettlebells, sarcopenia, and shirtless YouTube fitness bros neither of them can bear to watch, before Lee reports that Bob's own kettlebell-honed solidity got tested by a phone-distracted man who shoulder-checked her on a London street – and didn't move. It closes on who gets to take up space and who doesn't, from Coventry's lime bike gangs to the rarity of ever seeing a pack of women do the same. Mentioned The Empire Strikes Back (Star Wars) – Harrison Ford's sequel to the original film; invoked as a comparison for writing a hit follow-upThe Da Vinci Code / Angels & Demons (Dan Brown) – blockbuster novels; used as another sequel comparison, with mock embarrassment at picking the less-loved oneDan Lepard – baker and food writer; arrives as a punning mishearing of "Dan Brown" and becomes its own jokeDan Brown's latest novel – unnamed page-turner about consciousness, featuring his recurring Robert Langdon character (described as "the same Tom Hanks character")Heated Rivalry (Rachel Reid) – romance novel series, a birthday gift; discussed as having started life as Bucky Barnes/Captain America slash fiction before becoming an original hockey romanceStar Trek – Kirk and Spock's relationship is cited as the origin of the term "slash fiction"Swedish death cleaning – decluttering philosophy; referenced in a joke about a now-discarded handmade cassette collection Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner – actors who played Spock and Kirk; clarified that their characters never had an on-screen romanceCaptain America / Bucky Barnes / Winter Soldier (Marvel) – the fictional pairing behind Heated Rivalry's fan-fiction originsChatGPT – joked about as a possible personal trainer YouTube and Instagram – named as the real source of workout routines, alongside a complaint about shirtless fitness influencersLime – e-bike share scheme; its riders in Coventry prompt a discussion about groups occupying street spaceBack to the Future – referenced via its high school principal character while describing a run-in with a pack of e-bike ridersGet in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. --- The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

  4. Aug 12

    297: Once You Hear It, You Can't Unhear It

    Send us Fan Mail Simon and Lee open with birthday banter that spirals into scientists launching an OnlyFans-style subscription service to replace cut research funding, then a viral clip of bonobos defusing a fight with cuddles instead of violence. The real conversation catches fire when Simon reads out an AI-generated reply from a prospective PhD student, and the two dig into what gives it away (that telltale word "specifically"), whether he owes the applicant honest feedback, and how wanting AI to skip the reading is really no different from wanting it to do your weights for you at the gym. Simon closes things out nursing a sprained wrist from coming off his bike on Thursday, with a shout-out to the NHS staff who patched him up. Mentioned OnlyFans – subscription platform typically associated with adult content; raised as a tongue-in-cheek pitch after hearing scientists had lost fundingMarmosets – small primates; the animal whose research funding was cut, prompting the joke about launching an OnlyFans-style site insteadInstagram – social media platform; where a viral bonobo video turned up in the feedBonobo monkeys – primate species known for resolving conflict through physical affection rather than aggression; a clip of an older bonobo defusing a fight between two younger males prompts a wider discussion of animal behaviour versus internet contentTikTok – video platform; cited for algorithmic content moderation, including euphemisms that have replaced certain censored wordsAlice  – addressed directly mid-conversation ("I wonder if Alice is thinking, go back to the bonobos")Daily Mail – UK tabloid; invoked as the kind of outlet that wouldn't report favourably on NHS staffNHS – National Health Service; A&E staff praised for handling a high volume of patients with care and professionalismGet in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. --- The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

  5. Aug 5

    296: A Bit Of Advice Is Worth A Lot Of Sympathy

    Send us Fan Mail Simon announces two big life events on the same Saturday morning: the first day of his new role as Director of the Centre for Dance Research at Coventry University, and an offer just put in on a flat. Lee's praise for the decision (steered by Annie Duke's How to Decide) tips into a riff on downsizing, industrial ovens, and buyers' markets, before Lee's own account of a solitary seal in the river at Totnes prompts a longer meditation on living double lives and how much of the self is performance. They close on inherited wisdom: Lee's mother's mantra that a bit of advice is worth a lot of sympathy, and whether either of them would actually want to hear it. Mentioned How to Decide (Annie Duke) – book on decision-making; argues a decision's quality is separate from its outcome, cited while weighing up buying a flatGet in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. --- The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

  6. Jul 29

    295: Grace In The Meeting Of That Diagnosis

    Send us Fan Mail Simon opens with a difficult conversation from a trip to Italy, about care and dementia, and what it means to owe someone your future self – discomfort sparked by Lil telling him plainly and rightly that she'd carry on living her own life, not simply become his carer. Lee counters with the story of a friend whose husband planned his own decline with startling clarity before dementia fully took him, and admits he and Bob have made each other the same promise. They end up watching aging parents ration their energy like a strategic resource, before a stray thought about a dance-and-AI panel pulls the conversation sideways into exponential change and the folly of deciding anything for the next ten years. Mentioned Italy (Sardegna) – place Simon was visiting when he had the conversation about care, aging and dementia that opens the episodeCorbitron – a companion (not literally) present during recording, audibly prompting with the word "exponential" partway throughGet in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. --- The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

  7. Jul 22

    294: Swimming in a Cool Salad Dressing

    Send us Fan Mail Simon is back from one week in Italy (camping, farm work, and a proper test of an air-conditioning-free apartment), while Lee has rediscovered swimming in the Dart, a habit lost somewhere around COVID and indulged daily ever since. They compare the textures of different water, from a Mediterranean "like a bath" to an unforgiving Atlantic, before Lee lands on a firm conclusion (he is riverine, not oceanic) and the conversation drifts into childhood water memories: bath-time hide-and-seek, Star Wars figures drowned in the tub, a home-built pool engineered for whirlpools. It closes with Lee taking his former student and soon-to-be PhD candidate, Charlie, for a swim up the same river, still caked in dirt from a Fringe show about fathers and masculinity. Mentioned The Dart – river in Totnes, Devon; rediscovered as a swimming spot after a long hiatus stretching back to before COVID; swum in daily for a week, becomes the episode's throughlineTotnes Fringe – theatre festival spread across roughly 19 venues, including shops, gardens, and a church; prompts a riff on what counts as a "fringe" when there is no major festival for it to be fringe ofCharlie – former undergraduate student, soon to start a PhD; runs his own solo performance company; presented a piece on masculinity, fathers, and nature at the Totnes Fringe, ending caked in stage dirt and paintStar Wars (Luke Skywalker and Han Solo figurines) – bath toys from a childhood game of submerging the figures underwater and holding them by the headGet in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. --- The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

  8. Jul 15

    293: A Glitch Too Far

    Send us Fan Mail Simon and Lee are joined by Maya: an AI trained on twenty-odd episodes of Midlifing and gifted to them by a listener, Dr David Corbet (@corbetron), who built her using vibe coding. What starts as a joke tips quickly into uncanny valley territory, and from there into a shared list of words that have started to grate on them both (casted, obligated, positionality, normalcy), and their mutual discomfort with how thoroughly trauma has been worn smooth by overuse. It closes on a canoe trip past a riverbank thick with empty second homes, and the guilt of noticing them. Mentioned Maya – an AI trained on around twenty episodes of Midlifing, joining the call as a guest; her polished fluency tips the conversation into uncanny valley territory. Named as a callback to the "Maya got a job in cyber" bit from a previous episode (itself a misremembering of a UK government ad campaign whose dancer was actually named Fatima)Dr David Corbet (@corbetron) – long-time listener; built Maya using vibe coding and gave her to the show entirely unpromptedOffice for Students – UK higher education regulator; referenced in connection with a recent institutional assessment visitNotebookLM (referred to as "Google Notebook" in the transcript) – Google's AI tool for generating podcast-style "deep dives"; noted for its hosts' unbridled enthusiasm and, formerly, odd glitchy interjectionsForced Entertainment – UK experimental theatre company; cited as an example of direct-to-camera address and "showing the working"Sassari – city in Sardinia; site of Simon and Lil's apartment, recently renovated, raised in a discussion about reluctance to knock down existing wallsGet in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. --- The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

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About

Two friends Lee and Simon have serious conversations about silly things, and silly conversations about serious things. Together they dig into the pleasures, absurdities and imperfections of being human.

Information

  • Creator
    Lee Miller and Simon Ellis
  • Years Active
    2020 - 2026
  • Episodes
    302
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Midlifing
  • Show Website
    Midlifing