The Session with Tom Russell

Tom Russell & Scott Saunders

The Session is where faith and life connect. Tom Russell and Scott Saunders  explore issues facing the family and the church today. Tom’s heart is to encourage marriages and Pastors. We try to approach every issue through the lens of Scripture, with a sensitivity to the families listening, and use humor when we can. No matter what the issue, we celebrate life in Jesus, and celebrate success! Which for us, means getting through more than 2 points a week!

  1. Aug 27

    The Session: Help for Bullying - Part 2

    The Session: Help for Bullying Psalm 138:7, “Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life. You stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes; with your right hand you save me.”  First, let’s define bullying. Tom, how do you feel about this, from www.stopbullying.gov:  Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior by one person or group toward another, involving a real or perceived power imbalance, and repeated over time. In today’s world, bullying is not just physical, but psychological, and on-line.  Links to some of what we share are included in the notes below. 2019 statistics Between 1 in 4 and 1 in 3 U.S. students say they have been bullied at school. Many fewer have been cyberbullied.  In one large study, about 49% of children in grades 4–12 reported being bullied by other students at school at least once during the past month, whereas 30.8% reported bullying others during that time.Defining "frequent" involvement in bullying as occurring two or more times within the past month, 40.6% of students reported some type of frequent involvement in bullying, with 23.2% being the youth frequently bullied, 8.0% being the youth who frequently bullied others, and 9.4% playing both roles frequently.2024 statistics WHERE ARE THEY? The Monique Burr Foundation for Children is an organization that offers evidence-based bullying prevention and education programs.  They report: About 19.2% of students aged 12-18 enrolled in grades 6-12 experienced bullying nationwide during the 2021-2022 school year. 13 million students will be bullied in the US this year.  1 in 3 will be victims of cyber bullying.160,000 students miss school daily for fear of being bullied1 out of 4 children are bullied over their lifetime (US Dept. of Justice)Every 7 minutes a child is bullied on a playgroundBetween 50% and 77% of students report having been bullied Of teachers, 25% see nothing wrong with bullying and consequently intervene in only 4% of bullying incidents85% of bullying is not responded to appropriately or at allFor more info, go to https://mbfpreventioneducation.org  WHAT IS THE IMPACT OF BULLYING? Victims often suffer academically and from long-term psychological effectsBullies often go on to commit crimes – former bullies have a 4-fold increase in criminal behavior by age 24Both victims and bullies may later become depressed or even become suicidalAfter interviewing 41 school shooters in 37 incidents, the Secret Service found that 2/3 had been bullied, and their attacks were motivated by a will to seek revenge.Core Biblical Principles Inherent Worth: Recognizing that every person is made in the image of God and deserves respect.Defending Others: Encouraging children to step in safely, as standing up for the vulnerable reflects biblical justice.Healthy Boundaries: Balancing grace and forgiveness with clear limits against abusive behavior.   Practical Steps for Prevention Establish Safe Environments: Teach youth groups and schools to prioritize healthy relationships over mere rule-compliance.Empower Bystanders: Train youth to refuse to give a bully an audience, include isolated peers, and notify a trusted adult.Use Structured Programs: Implement dedicated frameworks like The Protectors Faith-Based Anti-Bullying Program or explore advice from Christian Bullying Prevention by Jeff Veley.  Do you need help addressing a specific type of bullying (verbal, physical, or cyberbullying)?How do I protect my kids from school bullies? Jeff and Terra Mattson are Christian Parenting spokespeople, and cohosts of the Living Wholehearted Podcast.  They suggest parents use the green light, yellow light and red light method. More info is at https://www.christianparenting.org Teach that friends or people are greenlight are very safe.  Yellow light just like on the highway are questionable and not totally safe. Use with caution. They are people that would be questionable. Red light would be people who are absolutely not safe and you should stop immediately. Parents should check after school if something has changed, if you can open that door, you can ask them an important question, “Is this a relationship? Is this a situation where you need some help? Scott’s “rubber meets the road” question:  What are some things parents should look for in their children to raise concerns that they might be a victim of bullying? A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey! To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at tom.hccm@gmail.com, or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com Click this link to purchase Tom’s devotional, “Seeing Yourself Through the Eyes of God: A Weekly Devotional for Improving Self-Esteem.”

  2. Aug 20

    The Session: Help for Bullying - Part 1

    The Session: Help for Bullying Psalm 138:7, “Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life. You stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes; with your right hand you save me.”  First, let’s define bullying. Tom, how do you feel about this, from www.stopbullying.gov:  Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior by one person or group toward another, involving a real or perceived power imbalance, and repeated over time. In today’s world, bullying is not just physical, but psychological, and on-line.  Links to some of what we share are included in the notes below. 2019 statistics Between 1 in 4 and 1 in 3 U.S. students say they have been bullied at school. Many fewer have been cyberbullied.  In one large study, about 49% of children in grades 4–12 reported being bullied by other students at school at least once during the past month, whereas 30.8% reported bullying others during that time.Defining "frequent" involvement in bullying as occurring two or more times within the past month, 40.6% of students reported some type of frequent involvement in bullying, with 23.2% being the youth frequently bullied, 8.0% being the youth who frequently bullied others, and 9.4% playing both roles frequently.2024 statistics WHERE ARE THEY? The Monique Burr Foundation for Children is an organization that offers evidence-based bullying prevention and education programs.  They report: About 19.2% of students aged 12-18 enrolled in grades 6-12 experienced bullying nationwide during the 2021-2022 school year. 13 million students will be bullied in the US this year.  1 in 3 will be victims of cyber bullying.160,000 students miss school daily for fear of being bullied1 out of 4 children are bullied over their lifetime (US Dept. of Justice)Every 7 minutes a child is bullied on a playgroundBetween 50% and 77% of students report having been bullied Of teachers, 25% see nothing wrong with bullying and consequently intervene in only 4% of bullying incidents85% of bullying is not responded to appropriately or at allFor more info, go to https://mbfpreventioneducation.org  WHAT IS THE IMPACT OF BULLYING? Victims often suffer academically and from long-term psychological effectsBullies often go on to commit crimes – former bullies have a 4-fold increase in criminal behavior by age 24Both victims and bullies may later become depressed or even become suicidalAfter interviewing 41 school shooters in 37 incidents, the Secret Service found that 2/3 had been bullied, and their attacks were motivated by a will to seek revenge.Core Biblical Principles Inherent Worth: Recognizing that every person is made in the image of God and deserves respect.Defending Others: Encouraging children to step in safely, as standing up for the vulnerable reflects biblical justice.Healthy Boundaries: Balancing grace and forgiveness with clear limits against abusive behavior.   Practical Steps for Prevention Establish Safe Environments: Teach youth groups and schools to prioritize healthy relationships over mere rule-compliance.Empower Bystanders: Train youth to refuse to give a bully an audience, include isolated peers, and notify a trusted adult.Use Structured Programs: Implement dedicated frameworks like The Protectors Faith-Based Anti-Bullying Program or explore advice from Christian Bullying Prevention by Jeff Veley.  Do you need help addressing a specific type of bullying (verbal, physical, or cyberbullying)?How do I protect my kids from school bullies? Jeff and Terra Mattson are Christian Parenting spokespeople, and cohosts of the Living Wholehearted Podcast.  They suggest parents use the green light, yellow light and red light method. More info is at https://www.christianparenting.org Teach that friends or people are greenlight are very safe.  Yellow light just like on the highway are questionable and not totally safe. Use with caution. They are people that would be questionable. Red light would be people who are absolutely not safe and you should stop immediately. Parents should check after school if something has changed, if you can open that door, you can ask them an important question, “Is this a relationship? Is this a situation where you need some help? Scott’s “rubber meets the road” question:  What are some things parents should look for in their children to raise concerns that they might be a victim of bullying? A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey! To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at tom.hccm@gmail.com, or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com Click this link to purchase Tom’s devotional, “Seeing Yourself Through the Eyes of God: A Weekly Devotional for Improving Self-Esteem.”

  3. Aug 13

    The Session: Helping Children Adjust to the Stress of a New Teacher or School

    The Session: The Session: Helping Children Adjust to the Stress of a New Teacher or School. Joshua 1:9 (NIV) "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Isaiah 41:10 (NIV) "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God." Take Time to Talk to Them As you help them prepare for a season of change, take time to talk with them about how messy change can be. This most certainly includes grieving the loss of past relationships. Often called peer priority, children struggle because their peers are a priority and they are losing them. Be Prepared Plan ahead some fun things they can invite others to do or talk about in order to make friends. But as they arrive at school, they may find that everyone else already seems to know each other. They might find they feel shy in the moment. Or maybe, they try to be friendly but the kids around them are shy. Tom’s Important Suggestions: Take your child to school and have them tour it if that’s possible. Or tour it as soon as it is possible.Find out if there are summer activities or extracurricular, activities like soccer, swimming, a local church, where your child can make friends before they enter the classroomPray with your child and help your children feel comforted about the changeScott’s thought: ·       Celebrate every success in the transition! Monitor Your Child’s Feeling Level Major changes like a new school can leave our children, fearful, disappointed, sad, and concerned. Coping with the new school can also cause them to be wiped out physically.  Normalize for Them This Experience Point them to Christ.  As you do so will require more patience than usual. Being willing to hear them and extend grace will reassure them you’re present, God is present, and they are loved even if they’re struggling to feel it. Normalizing it also includes telling your children when you may have struggled with a new situation when you were a child A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey! To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at tom.hccm@gmail.com, or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com Click this link to purchase Tom’s devotional, “Seeing Yourself Through the Eyes of God: A Weekly Devotional for Improving Self-Esteem.”

  4. Aug 6

    The Session: 8 Simple Steps to a Lifelong Marriage

    The Session: 8 Simple Steps to a Lifelong Marriage  Genesis 2:24 “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Housekeeping: How to become a Friend of the Session, book release update      ·  Build and maintain a solid foundation in Christ A recent Harvard study shows that attending worship weekly reduces the likelihood of divorce by 57%      ·  Spend Regular Time in Prayer Research by David Stoops found couples who pray together have less than 1 percent chance of divorce.      ·  Speak Highly of Each Other Make a regular habit of saying positive things about each other. Also avoid negative comments about each other.      ·  Enjoy Regular Time Together  Spending time together causes a natural byproduct of closeness      ·  Forge an Unrelenting Commitment to Each Other From day one, realize that divorce is not an option. A Christian marriage is a covenant between a husband, a wife, and God.      ·  Keep strong boundaries Keeping marriage intact often means needing to protect it from outside influences. This means both spouses avoid situations where integrity could be compromised.      ·  Humbly Serve Each Other Employ the “others first mentality!”      ·  Own your struggles and get help Go before the Lord asking Him for help. Help to be what He has called you to. A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey! To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at tom.hccm@gmail.com, or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com Click this link to purchase Tom’s devotional, “Seeing Yourself Through the Eyes of God: A Weekly Devotional for Improving Self-Esteem.”

  5. Jul 30

    The Session: 5 Important Fundamentals of Strong Marriages

    The Session: 5 Important Fundamentals of Strong Marriages, from The Gottman Institute     Genesis 2:24, "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." Research shows that the primary keys to staying married are not about avoiding conflict, but about building positive emotional habits, managing conflict constructively, and actively choosing the relationship.  The top five actionable things that significantly increase your probability of staying married include:  Maintaining the "Magic Ratio": Couples who experience a ratio of at least five positive interactions for every one negative interaction during normal daily life are highly likely to have lasting marriages. This means building an emotional bank account through small compliments, expressions of appreciation, and inside jokes. Turning Toward Bids for Connection: In relationships, a partner makes "bids" when they reach out for attention, connection, or a response (e.g., pointing out a bird or sharing an interesting thought). According to The Gottman Institute, couples who stay together respond positively and lean into these bids 86% of the time, compared to 33% for couples who divorce. Avoiding the "Four Horsemen": Research shows you can predict divorce with scary accuracy if you allow four toxic communication patterns to take root: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. Contempt—such as eye-rolling or mocking—is widely recognized as the single biggest predictor of relationship failure. Prioritizing Shared Time and Experiences: Research indicates that couples who engage in regular, dedicated date nights and invest in shared social and religious activities report significantly higher marital quality. Shared couple time reinforces your identity as a team rather than just two individuals co-existing. Accepting Influence and Tolerating Imperfection: Lasting relationships are built on compromise and accepting that most marital problems (about 69%) are perpetual issues rooted in personality differences. In heterosexual relationships specifically, research highlights that men who allow their wives to influence them and actively work to compromise have notably happier marriages.  A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey! To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at tom.hccm@gmail.com, or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com Click this link to purchase Tom’s devotional, “Seeing Yourself Through the Eyes of God: A Weekly Devotional for Improving Self-Esteem.”

  6. Jul 23

    The Session: The Importance of Laughter

    The Session: The Importance of Laughter Proverbs 17:22: A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Joyce Meyer writes in her article, “The Benefits of Laughter!”, “Laughter is so important! It’s the outward evidence of inward joy, and it is proven to make you feel better. The joy of the Lord can ease any emotional and physical pain and bring you a new level of satisfaction in life.” It has been said that laughter is like internal jogging, and I think that is so true. Laughter improves emotional and mental health, it lifts our spirits, and it dispels worry. It’s almost impossible to be anxious and laugh at the same time. This is why we would be wise to express joy in laughter every chance we get. Laughter helps in the battle against anxiety, fear and worry. It also helps in the battle against stress, which is the body’s response to what the mind is thinking. Therapeutic Benefits of Laughter in Mental Health: A Theoretical Review, from the National Library of Medicine  Laughter is a strategy that has physical, psychological, and social impact in relationships improving health, ultimately improving the quality of life. Laughter has a positive effect on the mental health and immune system. Laughter reduces the stress making hormones found in the blood stream. This helps the impact on your health. Laughter impacts cortisol, epinephrine, and dopamine levels. Laughter releases endorphins- happy cells.   If laughter isn’t a “normal” part of us, how do we find it?  Watch squirrels act squirrely out our office window?  (no….no, I haven’t done that….) How do we change a culture of battle or sadness to a culture of laughter in our home? A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey! To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at tom.hccm@gmail.com, or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com Click this link to purchase Tom’s devotional, “Seeing Yourself Through the Eyes of God: A Weekly Devotional for Improving Self-Esteem.”

About

The Session is where faith and life connect. Tom Russell and Scott Saunders  explore issues facing the family and the church today. Tom’s heart is to encourage marriages and Pastors. We try to approach every issue through the lens of Scripture, with a sensitivity to the families listening, and use humor when we can. No matter what the issue, we celebrate life in Jesus, and celebrate success! Which for us, means getting through more than 2 points a week!