TesseTalks Tesse Akpeki

Mountains and valleys, ordinary to extraordinary is a theme that thrills anthropologist Erik Seversen. Erikspotlights the essence of feeling fulfilled and purposeful. Describing himself as ordinary he admits doing extraordinary things, especially after being told he would not be able to do something. He learned to confront his fears and embrace the possibilities and gifts in less than ideal situations. “Challenges are what makes life good. Challenges do make us who we are. Fear is a team effort. Faith wins over fear every time, whether we are in the valley or the mountain top”.
“Mountains and valleys are both stepping stones to shape our lives. Movement in our lives and achieving paradigm shifts is very much related to our mindset. Whenever something bad happens, I always ask myself, what's the positive? What do I see that's the positive, where is the gift? “

Says David Taylor-Klaus , “Vulnerability is a human gem. It's a core part of who we are and it doesn't have to be hard. It just has to be conscious. And when you bring it up to conscious awareness, when you invite it, when you lean into it, it's not hard, it's a practice. Being attentive to your frame and your energy as you're creating something, whether that's your presentation to your board or something other activity”. 
" Leaders who don't bring themselves and their full selves to their leadership are experienced as not genuine, and a disingenuous leader is one that people won't follow".
“Failure is part of the path towards vulnerability”.

People are less familiar with, feedforward which inspires quality performance. That’s because there really isn't any point pointing out to people what they're really bad at, because they probably already know. The brilliant thing about feedforward is that people at the receiving end of feedforward see aspects of their performance that they are less good at - start becoming better! This is because people feel good and are not trying to undo what they are not good at. In pursuit of excellence Two themes emerge - excellence and empathy. Feedforward is a totally different way of talking about performance.

Debra Allcock Tyler reflects on the power of feedback “What is the point of saying something to somebody that they are not going to do anything about? Instinctively as a human being we assume feedback is going to be bad. As managers and as leaders, we have an enormous amount of power of other people. The biggest power we've got is over their emotional state. “Feedback is about the person who gives it and the person who receives it, and both have got to be in the right space. We can wield feedback so inappropriately. We forget how much power we have over those we lead. We can make our staff utterly miserable without thinking about the context of feedback or the support required for it to land well.

“Working with a coach is lovely. In that space a coach can really push and prod and poke, just like the journalist would, but in a much more supportive way. You can't think your way into a career change, because at some point you get stuck. So much is shifting. This isn't a kind of one and you're done. It's not like you decide and you're stuck forever”, says Rachel Schofield.
Rachel Schofield worked for the BBC for 20 years as a journalist and news presenter before training as career and . She has turned her journalist’s passion for asking awkward questions onto the world of work, helping individuals think creatively, embrace the discomfort of change, and figure out what fulfilling and impactful careers look like in our rapidly changing world.

TesseTalks review "Boundary Boss", written by Terri Cole - The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free, with special guest Erin Randall who is all about happy people doing great work. Boundaries really matter. In Boundary Boss, Cole models how people can connect with the appropriateness and benefits of putting boundaries in place and begin to apply this understanding to their individual situations. She gives you exercises and scripts to follow so that you can model it first. You can try it out, in your own sand pitted home before you go take this out for spin in the real world. She gives people the steps to practice, to gain confidence and the reader is able to take that forward. With practice, I can in my own words, learn it and put in place appropriate boundaries that serve me. The mantra is try, fail, forgive, repeat. Cole invites the reader to release the old reaction and choose a response that is in your highest good – the 3 Rs (Recognise, Release – Respond)