Breaking the Silence

Rina
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i broke it lol

Episodes

  1. 12/17/2020

    Depression Insists We Stay In

    Depression Insists We Stay In By Katy Richey There’s not a single thing in your closet that should be worn after 1997. You do look fat in those pants, probably gained twenty pounds in the last thirty minutes. There’s no parking within ten blocks of the party. All the people you hate are already there. They’re miserable too, but tonight you won’t be able to tell. They’ll have green string tied around their middle fingers and you’re supposed to know why. There will be twenty-two words spoken you don’t know the meaning of. You will end all your sentences with prepositions. People will notice. People will laugh when others mention Gary Johnson. You never Googled Aleppo. You don’t know what it is either. All your “friends” will ask if you’re okay, remark that you’re always so down-to-earth. This will remind you the entire world lies. You’ll think about Lance Armstrong and Milli Vanilli and your best friend who made out with your very first boyfriend while you were home with strep. You slept with his letter jacket, had to wash the snot/drool/tear stains in the sink. You loved John Hughes movies If you stay, you can watch The Breakfast Club for the 57th time. Pinkie swear you won’t think about self-harm. Swear you won’t imagine all the ways this could end. Think of the relationships you neglect by leaving—the inanimate objects to be moved and then replaced right back where they were—the two Oreo cookies left in the package to reassure you didn’t eat them all at once. Think about the floor in the bathroom, how much more sense things make lying with your bare back on the tile. This is you.    You are the plate and the half-eaten sandwich. You’re the pile of laundry. Don’t forget how Barney-the-purple-dinosaur-meaningless it is out there. This stain on the carpet is you. These unread books—you. Don’t forget you.

    Depression Insists We Stay In
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i broke it lol

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