The Jar Podcast | Marriage Counseling, Communication Skills, Conflict Resolution, Heal Your Marriage

Lydia Santos - Christian Wife Coach, Marriage Ministry Leader, Boymom
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If you’re done feeling alone, discouraged, hopeless, exhausted + unheard, this is for you. Welcome to The Jar Podcast where we battle shame, reclaim our identity in Christ, walk in obedience to begin the healing process. Join me each week for personal stories, biblical truths, inspiration and practical tools to equip you to heal from the inside out, navigate hard parts in your marriage and partner with God in whatever plan He has for your life, your spouse’s life, your children’s life, and generations to come. Gather your broken pieces, Girl, it’s time to reclaim wholeness.

  1. 08/27/2023

    A Break for The Jar Podcast: A Season of Rest and... What's Next?

    You may or may not have noticed there wasn’t a new episode last week. Maybe you’ve been around long enough to know I haven’t missed a week in over 2.5 years, really, 3 years at least if you count the FB lives I did each Saturday before the podcast came along. There’s been a shift in my heart, and I wanna talk about that today and what that means for The Jar Podcast, for you, and for me. Resources mentioned by Dr. Carol: Sexpectations course: Learn how to address your sexual story with honesty and compassion and write the next chapter with hope. Having the Sex Talk with Your Spouse Find a local Re|engage group near you! Loads of Love, Lydia --> FOLLOW so you don't miss a show! --> Leave a 5-star rating & written review --> Leave me a ⁠SpeakPipe⁠ question! --> Join the ⁠Christian Wife and Marriage ⁠Facebook community

    13 min

  2. 08/13/2023

    #132 - Are You Going Through Some Painful Circumstances in Your Marriage Right Now? The Surprising GIFT of Pain and How to Use Pain to Heal!

    I don’t think anybody goes through a painful experience in their life and thinks, “Wow, this is a good thing I”m going through right now” or “Wow, this pain is really serving a purpose.”  I don’t think that perspective is often a first instinct, but it doesn’t mean that the pain that you’re going through right now in your marriage or in your heart is for no reason. In fact, pain can be a gift that we can actually use to start healing. Loads of Love, Lydia --> FOLLOW so you don't miss a show! --> Leave a 5-star rating & written review --> Leave me a SpeakPipe question! --> Join the Christian Wife and Marriage Facebook community

    16 min

  3. 08/05/2023

    #131 - Working Hard on Your Marriage but Not Seeing Results? 3 Biblical Lessons for When You’re Discouraged

    Have you felt like you’ve worked really hard to be a good wife? You take care of all the things.  You keep up the house.  You read marriage books. You listen to podcasts. You check the boxes and set more goals. But you feel like all your hard work is for nothing, like a deficit or you've overdrawn your relationship bank account. And it’s left you feeling pretty discouraged…  Piggy backing off of last week’s episode about how to cultivate contentment, this episode will get a little bit deeper, to more of the the root behind WHY there may be discontentment and offer 3 biblical lessons to apply to your marriage and battle your discouragement. Loads of Love, Lydia --> FOLLOW so you don't miss a show! --> Leave a 5-star rating & written review --> Leave me a ⁠SpeakPipe⁠ question! --> Join the ⁠Christian Wife and Marriage ⁠Facebook community

    23 min

  4. 07/29/2023

    #130 - 4 Ways to Cultivate Contentment in Your Marriage

    Last week I went mountain biking for the first time. I was visiting my boss for a midyear work retreat and after a full morning of working, we put the bikes on the back of the car and headed to the trail. In between some iffy moments, some bumps and scrapes and pauses to catch our breath, she’d say at every sharp turn or near any ledge “where you look is where you steer, so look ahead, not right in front of you.”Which got me thinking… where is your focus in your marriage and where is it steering you? When things get rocky or steep, sometimes it’s easy to focus on each obstacle, get discouraged by each slip, get impatient when you have to slow down, wish you were already to the downhill portion. Discontentment can begin to creep in and skew the beauty around us. It’s hard to be content when things are precarious, when circumstances or behaviors are disruptive, or our relationships are rocky. But it’s possible. Here are 4 ways to cultivate contentment in your marriage. Loads of Love, Lydia --> FOLLOW so you don't miss a show! --> Leave a 5-star rating & written review --> Leave me a SpeakPipe question! --> Join the Christian Wife and Marriage Facebook community

    32 min

  5. 07/22/2023

    #129 - Is Your Anger Affecting Your Marriage? Regulate Your Emotions to Calmly Communicate Even When You’re Angry

    Some call it sassy. Some say it’s strong-willed. Others call it normal. When a wife purses her lips and puts her hands on her hips and corrects, finger shakes, eye-rolls, bites back with a comeback, or gives “the look.” The husband appeases, sits back, gives in, or avoids. She throws her hands up and exasperation.  Society can take this behavior and even create comedy routines out of it. Social media pokes fun with Reels and calls it #relatable. But is it excusable? If something is so normal… is it wrong? Don’t all wives get upset, get a little snippy, or sassy?  How’s that workin' for you, friend? Are these attitudes and angry moments making your marriage stronger? Are you ok with your words, thoughts, and actions in those moments or do you often feel guilty or wish you knew a better way to communicate?  Take a deep breath– let’s talk about where your anger’s really coming from, understand it, and then learn how to regulate your emotions so you can calmly communicate with your husband. Loads of Love, Lydia --> FOLLOW so you don't miss a show! --> Leave a 5-star rating & written review --> Leave me a SpeakPipe question! --> Join the Christian Wife and Marriage Facebook community

    17 min

  6. 07/15/2023

    #128 - Is Sex a Problem in Your Marriage? How to Communicate to Increase Intimacy with Your Husband with Guest: Dr. Carol Tanksley

    Does Your Husband Expect Sex Even When You Don’t Want It? Have you experienced trauma in you past that makes intimacy difficult for you? You want him to feel fulfilled but you just don’t enjoy it? You WANT this area of your marriage to be healthy, strong and comfortable, but there’s a lot to unpack. You WANT to open up to your husband about it, but you also don’t want to make him feel bad… plus, it’s just plain embarrassing sometimes! Whether it’s a phase of life, low libido, damage or baggage from past relationships, or your own past sin, this is NOT what you expected for your sex life in marriage. Whether you’re an exhausted mom of littles just trying to make it to bedtime with nothing left over, a newlywed just trying to figure this out, or a busy mom of teens chauffering everyone all over the place and managing all the schedules… this is for you. Let’s hear from Dr. Carol Tanksley today on this one super important factor that can lead to healing and a healthier intimacy with your husband.  Resources mentioned by Dr. Carol: Sexpectations course: Learn how to address your sexual story with honesty and compassion and write the next chapter with hope. Having the Sex Talk with Your Spouse Loads of Love, Lydia --> FOLLOW so you don't miss a show! --> Leave a 5-star rating & written review --> Leave me a ⁠SpeakPipe⁠ question! --> Join the ⁠Christian Wife and Marriage ⁠Facebook community

    28 min

  7. 07/09/2023

    #127 - Are You Measuring Your Husband’s Sins Against Your Own (and You’re Not As Bad)? 3 Steps to Taking Responsibility for Your Own Sin

    You think you’ve gotten away with it… maybe he didn’t notice how you side-skirted the truth. He was so focused on getting his point across that he ignored the eye roll you just gave him. Man, he sure gets angry. Did you hear what he said?! He knows his actions were hurtful but he keeps doing them! You walk away from the conversation and around the house the rest of the day quietly fuming about what he did wrong. But girl, aren’t you tired of your own reactions? Aren’t you sick of your outbursts or your attitude? Caught in a cycle of pitting your sins against his and keeping tabs on who’s better? You keep a running list and his is pages long, while yours could apparently fit on a post-it note. Last week we talked about how to make an effective apology, and today’s topic is along the same lines, but perhaps even a precursor to making an apology or… an apology at a deeper level, on a broader scale. This goes beyond the in-the-moment or minor mistakes or mean words to say you’re sorry for, but zooms out a bit to an overall view of the issue really going on… and spoiler alert: the record shows the score’s a little closer than you might’ve thought.  But this ONE thing we’re talking about today will help you begin to put an end to or slow down the tit-for-tat, the record-keeping, finger-pointing, and blaming. Loads of Love, Lydia --> FOLLOW so you don't miss a show! --> Leave a 5-star rating & written review --> Leave me a SpeakPipe question! --> Join the Christian Wife and Marriage Facebook community

    24 min

  8. 07/01/2023

    #126 - Are You too Embarrassed or Ashamed to Admit a Fault or Sin to Your Husband? 3 Steps to Making an Effective Apology

    You and your husband have just been fighting or you did or said something that was unkind. Maybe you’re keeping something from him. Either way, you’re feeling the tension, the space between you, and the guilt is getting heavy. You know you need to apologize. You think you understand your part in the conflict. You’re willing to take ownership, and you recognize the wrong on your end.  You want to say you’re sorry and get rid of the weight of the guilt and work toward a resolution… but you’re nervous. You’re scared to apologize. You’re worried about feeling rejected by your husband and maybe a little embarrassed. You’re not sure he’ll forgive you and actually, HE needs to apologize too!  Today we’re gonna talk about 3 steps you can take to make an effective apology, from a place of strength instead of shame. Loads of Love, Lydia --> FOLLOW so you don't miss a show! --> Leave a 5-star rating & written review --> Leave me a SpeakPipe question! --> Join the Christian Wife and Marriage Facebook community

    20 min
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About

If you’re done feeling alone, discouraged, hopeless, exhausted + unheard, this is for you. Welcome to The Jar Podcast where we battle shame, reclaim our identity in Christ, walk in obedience to begin the healing process. Join me each week for personal stories, biblical truths, inspiration and practical tools to equip you to heal from the inside out, navigate hard parts in your marriage and partner with God in whatever plan He has for your life, your spouse’s life, your children’s life, and generations to come. Gather your broken pieces, Girl, it’s time to reclaim wholeness.

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