Returning to Us

Lauren Spigelmyer & Jessica Doering
  • 4.7 (12)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

To help people who help people, the organization needs to be healthy and have practices in place that consider the trauma of those they serve. Lauren Spigelmyer and Jessica Doering have helped thousands of people who help people all over the world. Each week they'll explore tools, insights, and stories to help you lead and live with more clarity, calm, and connection. If you’re looking for support as you grow your organization’s capacity for caring for staff and the community, we would love to be part of that journey.

  1. MAR 10

    Why Accountability Feels Threatening

    Lauren begins a new series on maintaining authority without escalation, focusing on why accountability can feel threatening in high-stress or trauma-exposed systems. When teams are already carrying chronic stress, even small moments of correction can activate the nervous system and trigger defensiveness, avoidance, or shutdown. Rather than avoiding hard conversations, Lauren encourages leaders to understand these reactions as stress responses and approach accountability with clarity and compassion. When done well, accountability reduces ambiguity, strengthens trust, and supports healthier, more sustainable teams. Sign up for the University of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited Course Learn about the Staff Sustainability System a proven system to reduce burnout at the root Other related resources from Five Ives:  Blog Post:  Why Traditional Employee Wellness Programs Fail (And What Works Instead)Survive Mode: Recognizing When Your Organization is in CrisisWhat are the Five Ives?Podcast: How Regulated Leaders Make Better Decisions in High-Stress SystemsLeading Through Conflict Without EscalationA Fresh Look at the Five Ives Framework in the WorkplaceBoundaries as Leadership InfrastructureClarity as a Safety CueWhen Leaders Become the StressorEpisode 2: Authority Without FearEpisode 1: What Stress Does to Decision MakingThe Pause Between Now and NextLeading From a Regulated CoreWhen Culture DysregulatesGrowth & Feedback Without FearOnboarding as Co-RegulationThe Regulated Organization: What it Means to be a Regulated OrganizationOur Online Programs:  Behavior BreakthroughPolicing Under PressureBoard Governance TrainingUniversity of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited Course Subscribe to our mailing list and find out more about Stress, Trauma, Behavior and the Brain! Check out our Facebook Group – Five Ives!Five Ives WebsiteThe Behavior Hub blogIf you’re looking for support as you grow your organization’s capacity for caring for staff and the community, we would love to be part of that journey.  Schedule a free discovery call and let us be your guide As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

    17 min

  2. MAR 3

    How Regulated Leaders Make Better Decisions in High-Stress Systems

    In this final episode of the Leading Under Pressure series, Lauren reframes authority as nervous system stability rather than intensity or control. She explains how regulated leaders build trust through emotional predictability, consistency, and co-regulation instead of urgency and reactivity. Sustainable authority, she argues, is not about being the strongest personality in the room, but the most steady, creating resilient teams where people can perform, speak honestly, and thrive long term. Sign up for the University of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited Course Learn about the Staff Sustainability System a proven system to reduce burnout at the root Other related resources from Five Ives:  Blog Post:  Why Traditional Employee Wellness Programs Fail (And What Works Instead)Survive Mode: Recognizing When Your Organization is in CrisisWhat are the Five Ives?Podcast: Leading Through Conflict Without EscalationA Fresh Look at the Five Ives Framework in the WorkplaceBoundaries as Leadership InfrastructureClarity as a Safety CueWhen Leaders Become the StressorEpisode 2: Authority Without FearEpisode 1: What Stress Does to Decision MakingThe Pause Between Now and NextLeading From a Regulated CoreWhen Culture DysregulatesGrowth & Feedback Without FearOnboarding as Co-RegulationPolicy as a Nervous SystemThe Regulated Organization: What it Means to be a Regulated OrganizationOur Online Programs:  Behavior BreakthroughPolicing Under PressureBoard Governance TrainingUniversity of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited Course Subscribe to our mailing list and find out more about Stress, Trauma, Behavior and the Brain! Check out our Facebook Group – Five Ives!Five Ives WebsiteThe Behavior Hub blogIf you’re looking for support as you grow your organization’s capacity for caring for staff and the community, we would love to be part of that journey.  Schedule a free discovery call and let us be your guide As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

    23 min

  3. FEB 24

    Leading Through Conflict Without Escalation

    After taking a week off to tend to personal matters, Lauren returns to the series on leading under pressure with a focus on navigating conflict without escalation. She reframes conflict as a nervous system event rather than simply a communication issue, explaining how stress activates threat responses around control, safety, and belonging. When leaders become dysregulated, they lose access to clarity and often default to avoidance, control, or appeasement. She also explores what it looks like to stay grounded in tense moments through steady tone, clear boundaries, defined next steps, and meaningful repair when needed. Conflict is inevitable, but escalation is not when leaders choose regulation over urgency. Sign up for the University of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited Course Learn about the Staff Sustainability System a proven system to reduce burnout at the root Resources:  The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel A. van der Kolk, M.D. Other related resources from Five Ives:  Blog Post:  Why Traditional Employee Wellness Programs Fail (And What Works Instead)Survive Mode: Recognizing When Your Organization is in CrisisWhat are the Five Ives?Podcast: A Fresh Look at the Five Ives Framework in the WorkplaceClarity as a Safety CueWhen Leaders Become the StressorEpisode 2: Authority Without FearEpisode 1: What Stress Does to Decision MakingThe Pause Between Now and NextLeading From a Regulated CoreWhen Culture DysregulatesGrowth & Feedback Without FearOnboarding as Co-RegulationPolicy as a Nervous SystemThe Regulated Organization: What it Means to be a Regulated OrganizationOur Online Programs:  Behavior BreakthroughPolicing Under PressureBoard Governance TrainingUniversity of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited Course Subscribe to our mailing list and find out more about Stress, Trauma, Behavior and the Brain! Check out our Facebook Group – Five Ives!Five Ives WebsiteThe Behavior Hub blogIf you’re looking for support as you grow your organization’s capacity for caring for staff and the community, we would love to be part of that journey.  Schedule a free discovery call and let us be your guide As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

    34 min

  4. FEB 17

    A Fresh Look at the Five Ives Framework in the Workplace

    In this earlier episode from Returning to Us, Lauren introduces the foundations of what would become the Five Ives framework, including the Five Ives continuum and the 4Ps (Policy, Practice, Practitioner, and People). Listening back now, this conversation serves as a helpful reminder of how workplace culture, leadership, and environment all play a role in regulation and healing. Today, the 4Ps remain a core part of the Five Ives framework, supporting organizations in building awareness, strengthening culture, and creating trauma informed change. This episode offers a timely reminder of how these tools continue to guide meaningful, system wide impact.  Sign up for the University of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited Course Learn about the Staff Sustainability System a proven system to reduce burnout at the root Other related resources from Five Ives:  Blog Post:  Why Traditional Employee Wellness Programs Fail (And What Works Instead)Survive Mode: Recognizing When Your Organization is in CrisisWhat are the Five Ives?Podcast: A 5-Category Regulation Framework - Five Ives!Boundaries as Leadership InfrastructureClarity as a Safety CueWhen Leaders Become the StressorEpisode 2: Authority Without FearEpisode 1: What Stress Does to Decision MakingThe Pause Between Now and NextLeading From a Regulated CoreDesigning Rhythms that RegulateWhen Culture DysregulatesGrowth & Feedback Without FearOnboarding as Co-RegulationPolicy as a Nervous SystemThe Regulated Organization: What it Means to be a Regulated OrganizationOur Online Programs:  Behavior BreakthroughPolicing Under PressureBoard Governance TrainingUniversity of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited Course Subscribe to our mailing list and find out more about Stress, Trauma, Behavior and the Brain! Check out our Facebook Group – Five Ives!Five Ives WebsiteThe Behavior Hub blogIf you’re looking for support as you grow your organization’s capacity for caring for staff and the community, we would love to be part of that journey.  Schedule a free discovery call and let us be your guide As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

    19 min

  5. FEB 10

    Boundaries as Leadership Infrastructure

    Lauren shares how clear boundaries serve as vital leadership infrastructure, helping regulate teams, reduce anxiety, and prevent burnout. She explains how predictable limits build psychological safety and support creativity and sustainable performance, while unclear boundaries lead to over-availability, resentment, and exhaustion. She also offers practical guidance on system-level boundaries like response times, recovery periods, escalation protocols, and shared agreements, encouraging leaders to start by tightening just one boundary to support long-term sustainability for both themselves and their organizations. Sign up for the University of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited Course Learn about the Staff Sustainability System a proven system to reduce burnout at the root Resources:  Clockwork by Mike Michalowicz Gino Wickman Other related resources from Five Ives:  Blog Post:  Why Traditional Employee Wellness Programs Fail (And What Works Instead)Survive Mode: Recognizing When Your Organization is in CrisisWhat are the Five Ives?Podcast: Clarity as a Safety CueWhen Leaders Become the StressorEpisode 2: Authority Without FearEpisode 1: What Stress Does to Decision MakingThe Pause Between Now and NextLeading From a Regulated CoreDesigning Rhythms that RegulateWhen Culture DysregulatesGrowth & Feedback Without FearOnboarding as Co-RegulationPolicy as a Nervous SystemWhy Women in Leadership MicromanageThe Regulated Organization: What it Means to be a Regulated OrganizationOur Online Programs:  Behavior BreakthroughPolicing Under PressureBoard Governance TrainingUniversity of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited Course Subscribe to our mailing list and find out more about Stress, Trauma, Behavior and the Brain! Check out our Facebook Group – Five Ives!Five Ives WebsiteThe Behavior Hub blogIf you’re looking for support as you grow your organization’s capacity for caring for staff and the community, we would love to be part of that journey.  Schedule a free discovery call and let us be your guide As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

    19 min

  6. FEB 9

    Clarity as a Safety Cue

    Lauren explores why clarity is one of the most powerful safety cues a leader can offer in high-pressure systems. Rather than micromanagement, clear expectations help regulate the nervous system by creating predictability, reducing rumination, and allowing people to think, decide, and perform more effectively. This episode also examines the cost of ambiguity, from burnout to disengagement, and offers guidance on providing clarity without over-detailing. Lauren invites leaders to reflect on where clearer structure could support greater psychological safety and sustainability at work.  Sign up for the University of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited Course Learn about the Staff Sustainability System a proven system to reduce burnout at the root Other related resources from Five Ives:  Blog Post:  Why Traditional Employee Wellness Programs Fail (And What Works Instead)Survive Mode: Recognizing When Your Organization is in CrisisWhat are the Five Ives?Podcast: When Leaders Become the StressorEpisode 2: Authority Without FearEpisode 1: What Stress Does to Decision MakingThe Pause Between Now and NextLeading From a Regulated CoreDesigning Rhythms that RegulateWhen Culture DysregulatesGrowth & Feedback Without FearOnboarding as Co-RegulationPolicy as a Nervous SystemWhy Women in Leadership MicromanageThe Regulated Organization: What it Means to be a Regulated OrganizationRetain: Sustaining Staff, Culture, and CapacityReset: Moving from Relief to Real Transformation Our Online Programs:  Behavior BreakthroughPolicing Under PressureBoard Governance TrainingUniversity of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited Course Subscribe to our mailing list and find out more about Stress, Trauma, Behavior and the Brain! Check out our Facebook Group – Five Ives!Five Ives Website websiteThe Behavior Hub blogIf you’re looking for support as you grow your organization’s capacity for caring for staff and the community, we would love to be part of that journey.  Schedule a free discovery call and let us be your guide As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

    19 min

  7. JAN 27

    When Leaders Become the Stressor

    In this episode, Lauren explores how leadership stress can quickly spread through a team and shape trust, communication, and performance. She reflects on how awareness of your own regulation is a core leadership skill and why noticing tension early can change the entire direction of a meeting or organization. Lauren also shares practical guidance on repair as a leadership strength. By naming impact, taking responsibility, and restoring clarity and predictability, leaders can rebuild trust without losing authority and create steadier, healthier teams even under pressure. Sign up for the University of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited Course Learn about the Staff Sustainability System a proven system to reduce burnout at the root Resources:  Rising Strong by Brene Brown Other related resources from Five Ives:  Blog Post:  Why Traditional Employee Wellness Programs Fail (And What Works Instead)Survive Mode: Recognizing When Your Organization is in CrisisWhat are the Five Ives?Podcast: Episode 2: Authority Without FearEpisode 1: What Stress Does to Decision MakingThe Pause Between Now and NextLeading From a Regulated CoreDesigning Rhythms that RegulateWhen Culture DysregulatesGrowth & Feedback Without FearOnboarding as Co-RegulationPolicy as a Nervous SystemWhy Women in Leadership MicromanageThe Regulated Organization: What it Means to be a Regulated OrganizationRetain: Sustaining Staff, Culture, and CapacityReset: Moving from Relief to Real Transformation Our Online Programs:  Behavior BreakthroughPolicing Under PressureBoard Governance TrainingUniversity of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited Course Subscribe to our mailing list and find out more about Stress, Trauma, Behavior and the Brain! Check out our Facebook Group – Five Ives!Five Ives Website websiteThe Behavior Hub blogIf you’re looking for support as you grow your organization’s capacity for caring for staff and the community, we would love to be part of that journey.  Schedule a free discovery call and let us be your guide As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

    24 min

  8. JAN 20

    Episode 2: Authority Without Fear

    In this episode, Lauren continues the Leading Under Pressure series by exploring how authority and power shape the nervous system and why leadership is never neutral. She unpacks how fear based practices drive compliance, silence, and burnout, while regulated authority builds safety, clarity, and trust.  This episode offers insight into shifting from control to connection, showing how presence, tone, and timing shape safety more than policy. Lauren closes with a simple reminder to pause before you release and lead with intention.  Sign up for the University of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited Course Learn about the Staff Sustainability System a proven system to reduce burnout at the root Other related resources from Five Ives:  Blog Post:  Why Traditional Employee Wellness Programs Fail (And What Works Instead)Survive Mode: Recognizing When Your Organization is in CrisisWhat are the Five Ives?Podcast: Episode 1: What Stress Does to Decision MakingThe Pause Between Now and NextLeading From a Regulated CoreDesigning Rhythms that RegulateWhen Culture DysregulatesGrowth & Feedback Without FearOnboarding as Co-RegulationPolicy as a Nervous SystemWhy Women in Leadership MicromanageThe Regulated Organization: What it Means to be a Regulated OrganizationRetain: Sustaining Staff, Culture, and CapacityReset: Moving from Relief to Real TransformationHive- The Last Stage of the Five IvesThrive- The Fourth Stage of the Five Ives Our Online Programs:  Behavior BreakthroughPolicing Under PressureBoard Governance TrainingUniversity of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited Course Subscribe to our mailing list and find out more about Stress, Trauma, Behavior and the Brain! Check out our Facebook Group – Five Ives!Five Ives Website websiteThe Behavior Hub blogIf you’re looking for support as you grow your organization’s capacity for caring for staff and the community, we would love to be part of that journey.  Schedule a free discovery call and let us be your guide As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

    25 min
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Trailer

4.7
out of 5
12 Ratings

About

To help people who help people, the organization needs to be healthy and have practices in place that consider the trauma of those they serve. Lauren Spigelmyer and Jessica Doering have helped thousands of people who help people all over the world. Each week they'll explore tools, insights, and stories to help you lead and live with more clarity, calm, and connection. If you’re looking for support as you grow your organization’s capacity for caring for staff and the community, we would love to be part of that journey.

Information

  • Creator
    Lauren Spigelmyer & Jessica Doering
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    234
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 The Behavior Hub
  • Show Website
    Returning to Us