Don't Praise The Machine (DPTM)

Alexander Holland & John Maloney
  • 4.3 (6)
  • Comedy
  • Weekly

Al and John grew up together in the '90s. Now they live on opposite sides of the world, so once a week they log on to catch up and make sense of whatever the culture has done this time, laughing at each other along the way. The result is a funny, surreal trip through current culture, technology, trends and the mysteries of everyday life. What's it actually like to fall for an AI companion? Did Hilaria Baldwin really pretend to be Spanish? Why did movies used to explain their own plot with a rap over the credits? Get in touch at hello@dptm.org or find us on IG @dont_praise_the_machine. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  1. 2d ago

    The Melbourne Cup, Elaine’s Diaphragm & “Maxxing” Is Word of the Year

    John reports live from the Grampians, where Victoria is getting a public holiday to watch a horse race. Alex is wearing a 25-year-old Mambo shirt he never gave back. From there we get into why every ’90s sitcom acted like women used diaphragms, how “cooked” went from Aussie rave slang to global vocabulary, and how “maxxing” became word of the year just nine months after we explained looksmaxxing to you. Also covered: China maxxing, the Splinter voice, Letterboxd evangelism, and a line from Go (1999) we can’t stop quoting. It’s a different podcast. It’s a different quality of product. 🛎 Get bonus episodes, early episodes, and exclusive goodies while supporting DPTM! Patreon ➡️ https://www.patreon.com/dptm 💌 Sign up for John's famous weekly DPTM newsletter Click here ➡️ https://dptm.org/ 🔌 Connect with us! TikTok: ➡️ https://www.tiktok.com/@dontpraisethemachine Instagram ➡️ https://www.instagram.com/dont_praise_the_machine/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  2. Oct 26

    Cursed Courtroom Sketches, AI Hacking Everything & What the Hell Is a Magic Coffee?

    This week John spent two days in court in a wig and gown, forgot his pen, and used ChatGPT to find a case while the other side was talking. We also ask why courtroom sketch artists still exist in 2026, and suggest MrBeast’s thumbnail team take over. Alex ran the Amsterdam marathon and brings news from tech Twitter: people are using AI to reverse-engineer software and hardware they already own. That means cloned Adobe apps, fixed DJ software, unlocked tractors and smart TVs with the bloatware ripped out. We also design a car horn that plays fart noises. Plus: what a Melbourne “magic” is, and why John feels like a goose ordering one. 🛎 Get bonus episodes, early episodes, and exclusive goodies while supporting DPTM! Patreon ➡️ https://www.patreon.com/dptm 💌 Sign up for John's famous weekly DPTM newsletter Click here ➡️ https://dptm.org/ 🔌 Connect with us! TikTok: ➡️ https://www.tiktok.com/@dontpraisethemachine Instagram ➡️ https://www.instagram.com/dont_praise_the_machine/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  3. Oct 19

    Is YouTube the New Film School? Backrooms, Obsession & the Death of IP Slop

    Hollywood Is Out of Ideas. The Internet Kids Are Taking Over. Tom Cruise’s Digger is on track to lose around $245 million. In the same year, two horror films from people who started out on YouTube have made close to a billion dollars between them. The Backrooms cost $10 million, came from a 4chan photo of an empty furniture store, and has taken $400 million. Obsession cost $750,000 and has grossed over $500 million, the most ever for a film made on under a million. Alex and John look at how a generation raised online is getting films made without asking Hollywood first, why a meme nobody owns turns out to be great business, and whether this is cinema’s new 1970s or a short detour before the next He-Man reboot. Plus Chiwetel Ejiofor’s secret Love Actually sequel, and the question the film never answers: how come you can eat them? 🛎 Get bonus episodes, early episodes, and exclusive goodies while supporting DPTM! Patreon ➡️ https://www.patreon.com/dptm 💌 Sign up for John's famous weekly DPTM newsletter Click here ➡️ https://dptm.org/ 🔌 Connect with us! TikTok: ➡️ https://www.tiktok.com/@dontpraisethemachine Instagram ➡️ https://www.instagram.com/dont_praise_the_machine/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  4. Oct 12

    From Prosperity Gospel to Apocalypse Food Buckets: The Jim Bakker Story

    If you grew up leaving the TV on past midnight, you remember them. The stadium crowds with their hands in the air. The soft music. The man on stage who could heal your bad back, provided you called the number on screen. The death of Jim Bakker sent us back to late-night Channel 10 Australia, and we came out with a lot of questions. How did a guy with a puppet show become one of the most powerful men in American television? How did a Christian theme park with a water slide end up the third most popular in the country? And how did it all end with five years in prison and a second career selling buckets of freeze-dried food for the end times? Along the way we meet Aimee Semple McPherson, who did sermons on a motorcycle in the 1920s, Fulton Sheen, the bishop who beat Frank Sinatra in the ratings, and Oral Roberts, who told viewers God might take him if he didn’t hit his fundraising target. Then there’s Benny Hinn, whose healing technique Alex can still do from memory. We look at where televangelism lives now. Spoiler, it’s on YouTube, and the thumbnails are better than ours. 🛎 Get bonus episodes, early episodes, and exclusive goodies while supporting DPTM! Patreon ➡️ https://www.patreon.com/dptm 💌 Sign up for John's famous weekly DPTM newsletter Click here ➡️ https://dptm.org/ 🔌 Connect with us! TikTok: ➡️ https://www.tiktok.com/@dontpraisethemachine Instagram ➡️ https://www.instagram.com/dont_praise_the_machine/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  5. Oct 5

    Your iPhone Killed Your Boredom And That's Why You're Sad

    In 1989, the ABC asked a group of Australian kids what they do when they're bored. The first answer was "I ring people." Imagine asking a kid that in 2026. Alex and John were born in 1982, which makes them part of the last generation that grew up properly bored. This week they look at what happened to boredom after the iPhone arrived in 2007, and why losing it might be part of why so many of us feel flat all the time. They get into the 2014 study where people chose to give themselves electric shocks rather than sit alone with their thoughts for a few minutes. They talk about how skater kids went from a parent's nightmare to a parent's dream, and how 90s slackers turned being bored into a look. Alex explains his phone-free "key walks" and three-hour runs with no headphones. John makes the case for treating phones at the dinner table like loud farting. If you know someone who can't get through a two-minute queue without their phone, send them this. Maybe don't tell them why. 🛎 Get bonus episodes, early episodes, and exclusive goodies while supporting DPTM! Patreon ➡️ https://www.patreon.com/dptm 💌 Sign up for John's famous weekly DPTM newsletter Click here ➡️ https://dptm.org/ 🔌 Connect with us! TikTok: ➡️ https://www.tiktok.com/@dontpraisethemachine Instagram ➡️ https://www.instagram.com/dont_praise_the_machine/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  6. Sep 28

    Why Robots Can't Fix Your Sink (Yet)

    When you're 80, there's a decent chance a robot helps you out of the bath. At the recent World Humanoid Robot Games in Beijing, one robot ran the 100m faster than Usain Bolt and another couldn't work out how to stop. At a different event in China, dancing robot fell down the stairs mid-Billie Jean and got dragged offstage by the ankle, creating an instant viral moment. Right now they're still in gimmick territory but so was AI about five minutes ago. We get into why robots are built in our shape at all, why there's no "internet of movement" to teach one plumbing, whether it's okay to punch your robot butler, robot aged care, robot soldiers, and the urgent need for a robot plumber's crack. Laugh at Robots while you still can. 🛎 Get bonus episodes, early episodes, and exclusive goodies while supporting DPTM! Patreon ➡️ https://www.patreon.com/dptm 💌 Sign up for John's famous weekly DPTM newsletter Click here ➡️ https://dptm.org/ 🔌 Connect with us! TikTok: ➡️ https://www.tiktok.com/@dontpraisethemachine Instagram ➡️ https://www.instagram.com/dont_praise_the_machine/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  7. Sep 21

    Australia Taxed Cigarettes Until Violent Gangs Undercut Them

    Australia taxed cigarettes until a legal pack cost around A$40. Gangs now smuggle in cheaper ones and shops sell them for about A$17. Rival crime groups fight over territory, and there have been more than 100 documented attacks on tobacconists, some carried out by teenagers hired to throw the firebomb. Alex and John trace how a legal drug ended up with a black market that looks a lot like the one for illegal drugs. 🛎 Get bonus episodes, early episodes, and exclusive goodies while supporting DPTM! Patreon ➡️ https://www.patreon.com/dptm 💌 Sign up for John's famous weekly DPTM newsletter Click here ➡️ https://dptm.org/ 🔌 Connect with us! TikTok: ➡️ https://www.tiktok.com/@dontpraisethemachine Instagram ➡️ https://www.instagram.com/dont_praise_the_machine/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  8. Sep 14

    Everything the Raygun Documentary Conveniently Left Out

    Rachel "Raygun" Gunn is back, and this time she's brought a Netflix documentary with her. The boys watched all 72 minutes of Untold: Raygun Breaking Badly so you don't have to, and they've got thoughts. Redemption arc or re-writing history? You'll have to listen to find out. 🛎 Get bonus episodes, early episodes, and exclusive goodies while supporting DPTM! Patreon ➡️ https://www.patreon.com/dptm 💌 Sign up for John's famous weekly DPTM newsletter Click here ➡️ https://dptm.org/ 🔌 Connect with us! TikTok: ➡️ https://www.tiktok.com/@dontpraisethemachine Instagram ➡️ https://www.instagram.com/dont_praise_the_machine/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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4.3
out of 5
6 Ratings

About

Al and John grew up together in the '90s. Now they live on opposite sides of the world, so once a week they log on to catch up and make sense of whatever the culture has done this time, laughing at each other along the way. The result is a funny, surreal trip through current culture, technology, trends and the mysteries of everyday life. What's it actually like to fall for an AI companion? Did Hilaria Baldwin really pretend to be Spanish? Why did movies used to explain their own plot with a rap over the credits? Get in touch at hello@dptm.org or find us on IG @dont_praise_the_machine. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Information

  • Creator
    Alexander Holland & John Maloney
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    285
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Alexander Holland
  • Show Website
    Don't Praise The Machine (DPTM)

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