The RM podcast (Return Missionary) Podcast

Achilles Benjamin
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For future LDS missionaries, soon to be and returning missionaries. Let’s get real!

  1. 07/11/2025

    You’re Not Losing your Faith—It’s Just Getting Real

    Those not totally in the perfect white light on keeping the commandments and those not completely in the dark abyss. Those in the middle ground, light grey, grey, and dark gray. This is for you! You come home from the mission thinking the fire will last forever… But then real life hits. The Spirit feels distant. Your prayers go quiet. Porn slips in. Shame creeps in. Doubt? Loneliness? Confusion? Sin. All of it. This episode is for every RM who’s ever thought: “What the H, E, double Hockey stick, is wrong with me?” Spoiler: Nothing’s wrong. You’re just stepping into real faith and Testimony. The messy kind. We talk about why your testimony might be shifting, what parts of the gospel may fade or evolve after the mission, and why God doesn’t want a perfect robot. He wants a warrior, a Moroni, David, Esther, Ruth etc. Plus: An awesome Mike Tyson’s quote

    11 min

  2. 06/18/2025

    What I wish I knew 2 months after my mission- Pt2 I fell apart

    You came home. You did everything right. But why do you feel so lost, alone, or broken inside and maybe out. If you don’t then lucky for you, but you probably will later. This is normal and you’re not alone. In this raw episode, I open up about the emotional crash that hit me two months after my mission—and the truth both men and women need to hear about identity, faith, sex, shame, and healing. Whether you’re fresh off the field or still silently struggling years later, this one’s for you. -What I wish I had done differently -The dark spiral no one talks about -Dating, intimacy, and post-mission pressure -Rebuilding faith, confidence, and self-worth You’re not alone. And you’re not broken. You’re just rebuilding and this is where it starts. Here are my 5 tips I wish I would have done right after the mission.

    18 min

  3. 06/09/2025

    Marriage Didn’t Fix Me-It Broke Me (But Here’s What It Taught Me)

    I Thought Marriage Would Save Me… It Almost Destroyed Me Instead” I went into marriage thinking it would fix everything. My lust. My loneliness. My shame. Instead, it cracked me open. In this raw solo episode, I share the truth I never said out loud while I was married: • How I gave up who I was to try and “keep” someone • Why love without healing becomes silent resentment • The exact questions I wish we asked before we said “I do” Whether you’re dating, engaged, divorced, or in the thick of marriage— This is for every return missionary who’s ever felt like forever came too fast. 💬 This one’s not for the perfect. It’s for the ones still bleeding but still believing. 🎧 Hit play now. And send it to the couple that needs it most.

    24 min

  4. 06/07/2025

    Return Missionary Struggling

    You served your mission. You gave everything. So why do you still feel broken? In this no-BS episode, I open up about my experience with masturbation, porn, and sex after the mission—and the shame spiral that almost destroyed me. If you’ve ever thought: “Why do I still mess up?” • “Am I addicted… or just lonely?” • “Is God still with me after all this?” This episode is for you. I break down: ✅ What sexual urges are actually trying to tell you ✅ Why suppression never works long term ✅ How to start forgiving yourself without giving up your values This isn’t for the perfect RM. It’s for the one still searching for peace. 🎧 Listen now. You’re not alone. And you’re not broken.

    14 min

  5. 05/27/2025

    From Mission to Meaning, what’s next?

    You finished your mission. The badge is off, but the questions are louder than ever. Why am I home? What now? Where do I go from here? In this episode, we talk about what no one tells you: how to go from mission mode to a meaningful life full of passion, freedom, and authentic purpose. If you feel stuck, lost, or like you’re just surviving—this one’s for you. We break down: • Why identity feels fragile after the mission • How to reawaken your gifts and explore your real interests • Why purpose isn’t one destination, but a living direction • Action steps to stop drifting and start building You had a calling on the mission. Now it’s time to discover your calling at home. Hit play. Your new chapter starts here.

    11 min

  6. 05/10/2025

    Part 3-The Love you’ve always wanted: How to become Securely Attached

    Time to become the loving person you wish you had. This is the love you’ve always wanted. Calm. Confident. Safe. Real. No more chasing. No more running. No more games. This is what happens when you heal your attachment wounds—and finally become secure. In the final part of this breakthrough series, we dive into: ​- What secure attachment actually looks and feels like ​- Why secure people attract healthier, long-lasting relationships ​- How to become securely attached (even if you grew up anxious or avoidant) ​- The daily habits, boundaries, and emotional tools of secure people ​- What to look for in a securely attached partner If you’re tired of the chaos and ready to build a love that lasts—this is your blueprint. Because secure love isn’t boring. It’s peaceful. It’s powerful. And it changes your life. This is Part 3 of the series that’s helping thousands heal the way they love—and love themselves. Listen now. Your healthy relationship starts here.

    25 min

  7. 05/09/2025

    Part 2-Why do you Push Love Away, even when you Crave it: Avoidant Attachment explained

    Ever feel smothered the moment things get too close? If Love Scares You More Than Loneliness? You Might Be an Avoidant in relationships. Like you want connection—but when it shows up, you pull away, shut down, or vanish? You’re not cold. You’re not broken. You might be avoidant attached—and there’s a deep reason for that. In this powerful episode, we expose: ​- How avoidant attachment forms from childhood emotional neglect ​- The 2 avoidant types: Dismissive (cool and distant) and Fearful (hot and cold) ​- The silent heartbreak of being hyper-independent ​- Why avoidants struggle to trust, commit, or open up emotionally ​- How to heal without losing your freedom or identity If you’ve ever said, “I don’t need anyone,” or been told, “You’re emotionally unavailable”— this episode will hit home. Because behind every wall is a heart that’s scared to be seen. This is Part 2 of a raw 3-part series on Attachment Styles that’s flipping relationship patterns on their head. No fluff. Just real truth—and real healing

    18 min

  8. 05/09/2025

    Part 1-Why you Love so Hard & so Fast- Anxious Attachment

    Why do you chase love that hurts?? Mostly for ladies but many men who were overly mothered are this way too. Like you’re always overthinking, chasing, or begging for reassurance? You’re not needy—you’re anxious attached. And there’s a reason for that. In this raw and eye-opening episode, we break down: ​ How anxious attachment is formed in childhood​ The 5 toxic patterns it creates in dating and love​ Why you attract avoidants—and how to break the cycle​ How to stop chasing love and start feeling secure If you’ve ever felt like you’re too much, this episode will show you: You were never too much. You just learned to survive love the wrong way. Start healing now. This is Part 1 of a 3-part series on Attachment Styles that will change how you see yourself—and your relationships—forever.

    17 min
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For future LDS missionaries, soon to be and returning missionaries. Let’s get real!

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