Dr. Nicole on abuse and trauma: "Can you imagine if the people who harmed us said - 'I'm harming you? This is not about you. This is about me. I have a significant problem that I'm unable to handle. And so it's landing on you. I should get help, but I don't want to. So I'm going to keep abusing you'-But let me tell you, the fact that you feel scared and overwhelmed is because you're healthy and normal, and that's what a body does when it's being abused." In this episode, award-winning author Jenney Clark, sits down with Dr. Nicole Wordlaw—Stanford honors graduate, UC Berkeley clinical psychologist, Buddhist meditation practitioner, and author of Waking Up Alone. Dr Nicole talks about Trauma, Oppression, and Self-Trust. What if the fear and hypervigilance you felt after trauma weren't signs that you were broken—but proof that your body was healthy and functioning exactly as it should? In this deeply moving and intellectually rigorous conversation, Dr. Nicole unpacks how trauma and inherited oppression shape human identity, why compliance becomes a generational survival pattern, and how to spot the crucial difference between harmful authority and true inner guidance. Drawing from both clinical practice and her own lived experience, she reveals how healing begins not with self-blame, but with clear seeing, body awareness, and radical self-compassion. In this episode, we explore: Dr. Nicole Wordlaw’s background as a clinical psychologist, Buddhist practitioner, and author of Waking Up AloneHow childhood sexual abuse created a before and after in her life and shaped her healing pathWhy being Black, female, biracial, and raised in a white family deepened her awareness of othernessHow trauma lives in the nervous system as sensation, hypervigilance, and survival patternsWhy survival strategies like compliance and invisibility can get passed down across generationsThe idea that the voice you can trust always sounds like love inside your headWhy privilege does not equal wellness, and how oppression can produce trauma symptomsHow power and vulnerability intersect in abuse, exploitation, and predator behaviorWhat mindfulness retreat practice taught her about thoughts as noise rather than truthWhy pain can be treated as a door toward what needs care, compassion, and attentionHow self-trust develops by noticing whether your actions toward yourself are honest and non-harmingWhy community helps, but why self-support matters when safe community is unavailableStart with tiny mindfulness practices, not long intense sessionsChoose trauma-sensitive teachers who understand flashbacks and dissociationIf a practice feels overwhelming, stop and trust your bodyUse body-based grounding like feeling your feet, breath, or a body scanTreat self-doubt as a cue to listen for the voice that sounds like care, not fear Notable quotes by Dr. Nicole Wordlaw “The voice you can trust always sounds like love inside your head.”“Pain is a door.”“There is nothing wrong with you, who you essentially are.”Action items* Start with tiny mindfulness practices, not long intense sessions* Choose trauma-sensitive teachers who understand flashbacks and dissociation* If a practice feels overwhelming, stop and trust your body* Use body-based grounding like feeling your feet, breath, or a body scan* Treat self-doubt as a cue to listen for the voice that sounds like care, not fear Links and Resources to follow: 🌐 Connect with Nicole Wordlaw & join her community: https://www.nicolewordlaw.comDr. Nicole Wordlaw on Substack: https://nicolewordlaw.substack.com/p/when-our-teachers-need-us-to-stay🎙️ Buy Dr Nicole Wordlaw’s Book here: Book: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Waking-Up-Alone/Nicole-Wordlaw/9781591813736 📚 Jenney Clark’s Website & Books: jenneyclark.com🎧 Subscribe to Awakened Souls: Available on Spotify,Apple Podcasts, and Audible
