How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

Dr Maryhan
  • 4.9 (8)
  • Parenting
  • Updated Semiweekly

Hello, I'm psychologist and parenting expert Dr Maryhan and this is How Not To Screw Up Your Kids, the podcast for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone else who wants to be part of a movement to raise confident children who grow up believing in themselves. Follow now for twice weekly episodes - on Monday's you'll find shorter Bucket Emptying episodes, with longer episodes each Thursday. The greatest gift we can give our children is self-belief. It will get them further in life than any qualification and is absolutely possible for each and every child; we just need the right information and support around us to teach them. The old saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child” couldn’t be more true than now. Parenting has got a whole lot harder; not just because we are busier than ever but because our children are growing up in an ever changing, fast-paced world, which is so different to the one we grew up in. Our children have more pressure to be better, look better, do better, and in a world where lives are so publicly scrutinised and commented on through social media it’s really no wonder we’re seeing mental health problems sky rocketing amongst children, teens, and young adults. What you can expect from this podcast are honest conversations about parenting. We’ll talk confidence resilience, anxiety, managing tech, and all the topics you’d expect as well blowing the lid off the widely help misconception that children are innately resilient. They’re not! This podcast is for people who want to get real about parenting. You understand it can get messy sometimes and aren’t afraid to admit it. I have had more than my fair share of messy and I will no doubt share these with you along the way. I won’t dress things up but I will always give you something practical to take away and use in each and every episode. My guests and experts will be real people who have overcome their own adversities and bring with them a message to us as parents, as well as inspiring stories. So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation... We'd love to hear from you! We want to hear what you love and what you don't love about the podcast, so we can keep making it better: https://podcastsurvey.typeform.com/to/SEyYrxGB Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  1. Why Your Child Can't Concentrate: Focus, Distraction and ADHD with Professor Sam Wass

    5h ago

    Why Your Child Can't Concentrate: Focus, Distraction and ADHD with Professor Sam Wass

    If you’ve ever wondered why your child can spend 40 minutes talking about Minecraft but can’t concentrate for four minutes on homework, this episode explains everything. I’m joined again by Professor Sam Wass, and if you heard his previous episodes, you’ll know why parents loved them. In today’s conversation, Sam breaks down what concentration actually is from a neuroscience perspective, why young children are wired to be easily distracted, and why some children struggle far more than others in noisy classrooms, during revision, or when faced with a blank page. We dig into the two types of concentration every child needs, why the frontal cortex develops painfully slowly, how screens hijack attention, and why understanding something is the single biggest predictor of whether a child can focus on it. If you’re battling procrastination, homework refusal, or a child who “just can’t sit still,” this episode will give you the clarity you’ve been missing If you want to understand your child’s brain - and finally stop blaming them (or yourself) for something that’s biological, predictable, and fixable - you need to listen to this. Highlights from this episode: 02:40 - Concentrating through doing 09:20 - Two ways to structure learning tasks 15:46 - My name is Sam and I am a Candy Crush addict 21:53 - Build on interests 27:24 - Stress and concentration 34:39 - Screen time 38:56 - We are prediction machines 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    43 min
  2. 5 Questions to Ask Your Worried Child Tonight

    3d ago

    5 Questions to Ask Your Worried Child Tonight

    If your child is anxious, you already know how hard evenings can be. You sit beside them wanting desperately to help, but every time you try to reassure them, it backfires. Logic doesn’t land. Distraction doesn’t stick. And sometimes, despite your best intentions, the thing you say makes everything worse. This episode gives you something you can use tonight. I’ll walk you through five specific, evidence‑based questions that shift an anxious child from overwhelm into curiosity, even if they’re tired, irritable, or shutting down. These questions work because they bypass the logical brain (which is offline during anxiety) and instead help your child observe what’s happening inside them with a little more distance and a lot more safety. You’ll learn exactly why each question works, how to use them, and what to do when your child gives you nothing but a shrug or a grunt. By the end, you’ll have a simple, repeatable toolkit you can rely on every night - no scripts, no pressure, no perfect parenting required. If you’ve been searching for the right words to help your worried child, this episode gives you five you can use before bedtime. Highlights from this episode: 00:59 - What you get from this episode 03:34 - The 5 questions 06:53 - Give the worry a form 09:25 - A brutal inner demon 11:22 - Two red flags 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    15 min
  3. When Your Child Won't Stop Worrying

    Jun 3

    When Your Child Won't Stop Worrying

    If your child is melting down over homework, asking endless “what if” questions, getting mysterious tummy aches, refusing school, withdrawing from activities, or exploding the moment they walk through the door, you need this episode. I work with anxious and dysregulated children every single day, and what I want you to know is this: most of the behaviours parents struggle with aren’t actually behaviour problems - they’re anxiety in disguise. Spoiler alert: the more you reassure, explain, distract or accommodate, the worse the anxiety quietly becomes. In this episode, I’ll walk you through what childhood anxiety really is (and what it absolutely isn’t), why your child’s nervous system is behaving like a smoke alarm, and why logic and reassurance never stick. You’ll learn the skills‑gap model that changes everything about how we approach anxiety, and the first practical steps you can take today to help your child feel safer, calmer, and more capable. If you’ve ever felt helpless, confused, or guilty in the face of your child’s worry, this episode will give you clarity, direction, and a framework that finally makes sense. Mentioned in this episode: The Take 10 Technique - https://drmaryhan.com/episode/breathing-techniques-for-anxious-children/  Highlights from this episode: 00:52 - Saying “it’s fine” doesn’t work! 03:05 - It’s not your fault 08:24 - Children should feel anxious 12:25 - How to recognise anxiety 15:56 -You’re probably making it worse 18:18 - This will change everything 23:10 - When to seek additional help 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    26 min
  4. Bucket Empyting: One Thing to Say to Your Son Every Day to Build His Confidence

    May 31

    Bucket Empyting: One Thing to Say to Your Son Every Day to Build His Confidence

    If you’re raising a boy, you already know this: you can believe in him with your whole heart, and still watch him struggle to believe in himself.   You tell him he’s brilliant and he shrugs it off. You encourage him and he brushes it away. You try to have a meaningful conversation and suddenly his phone becomes the most fascinating object on earth. Meanwhile, you can see the gap widening - the gap between how you see him and how he sees himself. And nothing you say seems to close it. This episode gives you one simple, evidence‑based daily habit that will. One question that teaches your son to look inward, recognise his own effort, and build confidence from the inside out - not from praise, not from performance, not from comparison. I’ll show you exactly how to use it at every age, what to do when he rolls his eyes or gives you nothing, and how this tiny daily ritual slowly rewires the way he sees himself. If you want a practical, realistic way to strengthen your son’s confidence - one that actually sticks - this is the episode you cannot afford to skip. Highlights from this episode: 02:15 - Let’s talk about the bucket 04:17 - The only daily question you need to ask 06:56 - Every age is different 10:44 - Two flags! 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    14 min

  5. May 31

    How Not to Screw Up Your Kids - A Podcast for Parents from a Child Psychologist Who Gets You

    If your child is melting down, shutting down, refusing school, avoiding sleep, snapping back, or clinging to you because something feels “wrong” but they can’t explain what, you’re in the right place. I’m Dr Maryhan, a psychologist who works with anxious and dysregulated children every single day. And here’s what I want you to know: most of the behaviours that keep you up at night aren’t really about behaviour at all. Underneath the back‑chat, the tears, the slammed doors, the school‑morning battles, there is almost always anxiety, and a child whose emotional bucket is full and overflowing. And parents of those children? We zoom in so close, replaying conversations at 2am, questioning every decision, wondering if we’re making it worse, that we lose the wide lens. The perspective that says: your child isn’t broken... and neither are you. This podcast gives you that wide lens back. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, confused, or alone in your child’s big feelings, then listen and follow wherever you get your podcasts. Pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and let’s do this together. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    3 min
  6. Raising Confident Boys

    May 27

    Raising Confident Boys

    If you’re raising a boy right now, you already know this: the world he’s growing up in is tougher, louder, and more confusing than ever, and the cracks in his confidence can appear long before you realise what’s happening. Maybe you’ve watched your son compare himself to other boys and quietly decide he’s not good enough. Maybe he shrinks back, masks who he really is, or performs confidence he doesn’t actually feel. Maybe he’s a teenager who barely speaks to you anymore, and you’re terrified you’re losing the connection you once had. Or maybe he’s still little, and you can already see how easily the world will shape him if you don’t get ahead of it. This episode is your roadmap. I’ll show you exactly how confidence is built in boys - from babyhood to young adulthood - and the subtle ways we accidentally undermine it without ever meaning to. You’ll learn what to say, what to stop saying, the moments that matter most, and the strategies that genuinely shift a boy’s internal world. I’ll also show you how to protect him from the pressures, comparisons and online influences that quietly erode boys’ self‑belief. If you want your son to grow into a young man who knows who he is, trusts himself, and comes to you when it matters, this episode is the one you cannot afford to skip. Highlights from this episode: 02:36 - Confidence starts earlier than you think 05:38 - Are you creating emotional safety? 09:44 - Tweens and teens 14:46 - Your son is desperate to be accepted 18:46 - The confidence conversation guide  💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    20 min
  7. When Siblings Are Stuck Together

    May 24

    When Siblings Are Stuck Together

    If your children have been at each other all week, this episode will change everything. I’m diving into one of the biggest sources of family stress - sibling conflict - and why it’s almost never about the toy, the sofa, or the “look” one child gave the other, and nearly always about your children’s emotional buckets overflowing. In this bucket-emptying episode, I walk you through three powerful tools I use with families every day: • Weekly one‑to‑one special time that transforms behaviour through connection • Protected “own time” so each child can decompress and reset • Real‑time descriptive praise that rewires the emotional climate in your home You’ll learn how to stop refereeing, reduce friction, and help your children regulate themselves, even during school holidays, long weekends, or those intense indoor days when everyone is in each other’s pockets. Pick one tool this week and watch the shift. You’ve got this! So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 00:55 - Sibling conflict is not what you think 02:07 - Special time 07:19 - Time and space 09:14 - Descriptive praise 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    13 min
  8. Why Parenting Feels Harder Than Ever

    May 20

    Why Parenting Feels Harder Than Ever

    You don’t need more time with your child. You just need five intentional minutes. And in this episode, I’ll show you exactly why those tiny moments matter more than you think. If you’ve ever worried that you’re not present enough, not connected enough, or that the days are slipping by while you’re juggling work, life and everything in between, you’re not alone. I hear this from parents constantly, but the research is clear and reassuring: children don’t need perfect parenting - they need consistent, emotionally responsive moments that tell them, “You matter to me.” In this episode, I’ll walk you through the science behind connection, why guilt is not reliable data, and what children truly need to feel secure and loved. You’ll learn four powerful micro‑moments you can weave into any day, including the two‑minute reunion, naming one feeling, child‑led play, and the pause‑before‑help technique that builds resilience in real time. I’ll also share creative ways to stay connected when you can’t be physically present, from handwritten notes to voice messages to slow‑motion games played across the day. If you’re ready to feel more connected to your child without adding anything overwhelming to your plate, this episode will change the way you see your everyday moments. So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 00:28 - It only takes five minutes 02:42 - Parental guilt 07:31 - The one thing all children need 11:13 - How to support dysregulation 12:45 - The two minute reunion 14:35 - Name a feeling 18:11 - Pause before you help 19:43 - Connecting over physical distance 24:31 - Games across time and space 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    28 min
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Ratings & Reviews

4.9
out of 5
8 Ratings

About

Hello, I'm psychologist and parenting expert Dr Maryhan and this is How Not To Screw Up Your Kids, the podcast for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone else who wants to be part of a movement to raise confident children who grow up believing in themselves. Follow now for twice weekly episodes - on Monday's you'll find shorter Bucket Emptying episodes, with longer episodes each Thursday. The greatest gift we can give our children is self-belief. It will get them further in life than any qualification and is absolutely possible for each and every child; we just need the right information and support around us to teach them. The old saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child” couldn’t be more true than now. Parenting has got a whole lot harder; not just because we are busier than ever but because our children are growing up in an ever changing, fast-paced world, which is so different to the one we grew up in. Our children have more pressure to be better, look better, do better, and in a world where lives are so publicly scrutinised and commented on through social media it’s really no wonder we’re seeing mental health problems sky rocketing amongst children, teens, and young adults. What you can expect from this podcast are honest conversations about parenting. We’ll talk confidence resilience, anxiety, managing tech, and all the topics you’d expect as well blowing the lid off the widely help misconception that children are innately resilient. They’re not! This podcast is for people who want to get real about parenting. You understand it can get messy sometimes and aren’t afraid to admit it. I have had more than my fair share of messy and I will no doubt share these with you along the way. I won’t dress things up but I will always give you something practical to take away and use in each and every episode. My guests and experts will be real people who have overcome their own adversities and bring with them a message to us as parents, as well as inspiring stories. So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation... We'd love to hear from you! We want to hear what you love and what you don't love about the podcast, so we can keep making it better: https://podcastsurvey.typeform.com/to/SEyYrxGB Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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