How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

Dr Maryhan

Hello, I'm psychologist and parenting expert Dr Maryhan and this is How Not To Screw Up Your Kids, the podcast for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone else who wants to be part of a movement to raise confident children who grow up believing in themselves. Follow now for twice weekly episodes - on Monday's you'll find shorter Bucket Emptying episodes, with longer episodes each Thursday. The greatest gift we can give our children is self-belief. It will get them further in life than any qualification and is absolutely possible for each and every child; we just need the right information and support around us to teach them. The old saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child” couldn’t be more true than now. Parenting has got a whole lot harder; not just because we are busier than ever but because our children are growing up in an ever changing, fast-paced world, which is so different to the one we grew up in. Our children have more pressure to be better, look better, do better, and in a world where lives are so publicly scrutinised and commented on through social media it’s really no wonder we’re seeing mental health problems sky rocketing amongst children, teens, and young adults. What you can expect from this podcast are honest conversations about parenting. We’ll talk confidence resilience, anxiety, managing tech, and all the topics you’d expect as well blowing the lid off the widely help misconception that children are innately resilient. They’re not! This podcast is for people who want to get real about parenting. You understand it can get messy sometimes and aren’t afraid to admit it. I have had more than my fair share of messy and I will no doubt share these with you along the way. I won’t dress things up but I will always give you something practical to take away and use in each and every episode. My guests and experts will be real people who have overcome their own adversities and bring with them a message to us as parents, as well as inspiring stories. So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation... We'd love to hear from you! We want to hear what you love and what you don't love about the podcast, so we can keep making it better: https://podcastsurvey.typeform.com/to/SEyYrxGB Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  1. Back-Chat, Boundaries, and What Your Child is Really Trying to Tell You

    2D AGO

    Back-Chat, Boundaries, and What Your Child is Really Trying to Tell You

    Back‑chat isn’t your child being “difficult” - it’s a message. And in this episode, I’m going to show you how to finally hear it. If you’re dealing with eye‑rolls, snappy comebacks, or that sudden surge of attitude that leaves you wondering what on earth is happening, you’re not alone. So I’m going to unpack what back‑chat really means, why it shows up at any age, and the psychological needs sitting underneath it… especially your child’s deep drive for autonomy, agency and connection. You’ll learn the five hidden triggers that often fuel back‑chat (including stress, developmental leaps and inconsistent boundaries), and I’ll walk you through the five strategies I use with families every day to reduce defiance and rebuild cooperation. From offering meaningful choices, to shifting the power dynamic without losing authority, to creating daily connection time that transforms behaviour, you’ll come away with practical tools you can use immediately. If you’re ready to turn back‑chat from a battle into a breakthrough, this episode is for you. So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 00:53 - Back-chat is not just a teen thing 03:04 - The biggest symptoms 10:22 - 5 strategies for coping with back-chat 13:20 - The Three Cs 17:07 - How are you doing? 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    20 min
  2. The Meals That Carry Us Through Hard Seasons with Helen Hopkins

    6D AGO

    The Meals That Carry Us Through Hard Seasons with Helen Hopkins

    In this episode, you’ll discover a completely different way to think about feeding your family - one that saves you time, money, stress, and emotional bandwidth, and joining me is Helen Hopkins, better known as The Meal Time Maverick, whose viral batch‑cooking method has transformed kitchens across the UK. Instead of filling your freezer with meals you forget to defrost, Helen shows you how to batch‑cook fresh dishes that live in your fridge and reheat in minutes. You’ll learn her simple “1–2–3” system, why it works for even the busiest families, and how it can stop the nightly dinner‑time chaos in its tracks. You’ll also hear how to build batching into your weekly habits, involve your children in food prep, and create healthier, calmer mealtimes for everyone. If you’re exhausted by cooking from scratch every night, this episode will feel like a lifeline. So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 00:04 - Intro to Helen Hopkins 02:45 - Going viral 09:18 - The mix and match batch method 14:54 - Cooking fresh isn’t easy 17:18 - New habits always have resistance 22:08 - Building a healthy relationship with food 26:52 - Writing a book is cruel 31:21 - Everyone else comes first 34:34 - A frictionless society 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    41 min
  3. Good Parents Doubt Themselves Too

    MAY 10

    Good Parents Doubt Themselves Too

    We all have an inner critic. Even us parents. In today’s episode, I explore one of the most overlooked but powerful ways to lighten your emotional load and quieten your inner critic. Modern parenting gives that critical voice endless opportunities to speak up - especially when we compare our behind‑the‑scenes chaos to everyone else’s curated highlight reel. I unpack why we’re so much kinder to our children than to ourselves, and why questioning your parenting isn’t a sign of failure but a sign that you care. Drawing on the concept of ‘good enough parenting’ and the growing research on self‑compassion, I share four practical things you can do to help shift your internal dialogue, regulate your nervous system, and reconnect with the parent you want to be. If you’re tired of feeling like you’re falling short, this episode will help you breathe, reset, and treat yourself with the same kindness you give your children.  So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 00:29 - I’ve had enough of not enough 02:03 - Comparison culture 04:24 - Connection over perfection 05:48 - 5 minutes of guilt free time 07:28 - Change your mental soundtrack 09:54 - Find your people 11:12 - Sleep matters 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    14 min
  4. Homework: Building Persistence, Resilience & Independence

    MAY 6

    Homework: Building Persistence, Resilience & Independence

    Hands up if you like homework… Me neither. But homework isn’t just a task to be completed. It’s a powerful opportunity to build persistence, resilience and independence in your children. Homework can so easily become a battleground filled with tears, avoidance and frustration, yet when we shift our focus from performance to process, everything changes. In today’s episode, I explore why the “how” of our support matters far more than the worksheets themselves, and why our job isn’t to rescue our children from discomfort but to create the conditions that help them start, stick with it and feel capable. You are going to learn how to tailor homework routines to your child’s needs, how to spot when avoidance is really anxiety or perfectionism, and how to use five practical strategies to transform homework from a nightly fight into a long‑term skill‑building habit. If homework has become a source of stress in your home, this episode will help you reset the dynamic with clarity and confidence. So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 00:33 - Not just about the work 03:52 - Focus on the how 05:17 - Who’s homework is it? 09:50 - How to support your child 12:03 - Homework avoidance 14:05 - Connection over correction 17:09 - Praise the process 20:49 - The bigger goal 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    23 min
  5. Bucket Emptying: Living with Parental Guilt

    MAY 3

    Bucket Emptying: Living with Parental Guilt

    In today’s bucket‑emptying episode, I explore what it really means to live with parental guilt - that ever‑present tug that arrives the moment we become parents and never fully disappears. I talk about why guilt isn’t a sign that you’re failing, but a natural by‑product of caring deeply across multiple roles: parent, professional, partner, friend, adult child. Instead of treating guilt as a performance metric, I walk you through how to reframe it, define what “good enough” looks like, and create small proof‑points that remind you you’re showing up where it matters. I also unpack why work‑life balance is a myth, how to be fully present where you are, and how to avoid the comparison traps that intensify guilt. By the end of this episode, you will have a kinder, more grounded way to navigate the emotional weight of parenting, and a handy blueprint you can return to whenever guilt tries to take over.  So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 00:44 - Parental guilt happens all the time 02:51 - Guilt is not a reliable metric 05:28 - You can’t be in two places at once 09:43 - Replace balance with presence 12:39 - Build small proof moments 15:55 - The uncomfortable truth 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    19 min
  6. What Every Parent Needs to Know About Siblings

    APR 29

    What Every Parent Needs to Know About Siblings

    Do you have more than one child? Are they constantly fighting for your time and energy? So how do you parent siblings? In today’s episode, I explore how birth order shapes your children’s development, behaviour, and long‑term identity. You’ll learn why research consistently shows firstborn advantages in earnings, IQ, and academic outcomes, and what sits beneath those patterns - from early illness exposure to diluted parental attention to the powerful “teaching effect” between siblings. I also help you unpack the hidden family roles your children adopt - the helper, the funny one, the responsible one - and how these labels quietly shape their confidence, conflict style, friendships, and even their future workplace behaviour. Most importantly, you will understand why each of your children is growing up in a completely different childhood, and how being aware of this helps you reduce friction, avoid unhelpful comparisons, and support healthier sibling relationships at home. With the tools and tips I share in this episode, you can start making meaningful changes today. So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 02:00 - First borns outperform their younger siblings 05:38 - Germ theory 10:48 - The teaching effect 12:59 - Siblings find their niche 15:52 - Birth order impacts adult relationships 19:07 - Family roles impact self-image 22:04 - Every sibling has a different childhood 26:27 - We compare ourselves all the time 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    30 min
  7. Bucket Emptying: Does Distraction Tame a Tantrum?

    APR 26

    Bucket Emptying: Does Distraction Tame a Tantrum?

    In this episode, I will explain the viral “Where’s Jessica?” distraction trend and discover whether it truly helps your child manage big emotions. I am going to show you why distraction can work in the moment - the novelty, the shift in attention, and the calm, curious tone that naturally regulates your child’s nervous system, and you’ll see why relying on distraction long‑term can backfire, teaching your child to avoid uncomfortable feelings rather than build emotional resilience. I want you to come away from today’s bucket emptying episode understanding the difference between a quick win and a meaningful skill, and feel clearer about when distraction is appropriate… and when it prevents your child from developing the confidence and coping strategies they genuinely need. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re helping or accidentally hindering your child’s emotional growth, this episode gives you the clarity, compassion, and practical insight you’ve been looking for. So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 00:38 - Where’s Jessica? 03:15 - Emotional cues 06:48 - The novelty factor 09:44 - Trading emotions 12:36 - A friction free world 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    16 min
  8. Helping Children Manage Uncertainty

    APR 22

    Helping Children Manage Uncertainty

    In today’s episode, we will explore how to help your child navigate life’s inevitable uncertainties, from exam results and friendship turbulence to school transitions and family change. You’ll learn why shielding your child from uncertainty actually weakens resilience, and how simple shifts in the way you listen, respond, and structure daily life can dramatically improve their ability to cope. I will walk you through practical tools you can use today: active listening that uncovers what your child really means, honest reassurance without false promises, emotional validation that calms the nervous system, and routines that restore a sense of safety when everything feels up in the air. You’ll also discover how to fact‑check the stories your child picks up from peers or online. and why managing your own emotional barometer is one of the most powerful supports you can offer, so that you feel equipped to guide your child through uncertainty with confidence, clarity, and compassion. So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 01:01 - Uncertainty is a natural part of life 03:55 - Listen first 07:03 - Honest reassurance 10:31 - Validate emotions 12:30 - Acknowledge the challenge 15:23 - Brains have a negative bias 18:09 - Routine is important 22:56 - Fact check 26:21 - Help yourself to help your kids 29:02 - Pay attention 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    33 min

Ratings & Reviews

4.9
out of 5
8 Ratings

About

Hello, I'm psychologist and parenting expert Dr Maryhan and this is How Not To Screw Up Your Kids, the podcast for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone else who wants to be part of a movement to raise confident children who grow up believing in themselves. Follow now for twice weekly episodes - on Monday's you'll find shorter Bucket Emptying episodes, with longer episodes each Thursday. The greatest gift we can give our children is self-belief. It will get them further in life than any qualification and is absolutely possible for each and every child; we just need the right information and support around us to teach them. The old saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child” couldn’t be more true than now. Parenting has got a whole lot harder; not just because we are busier than ever but because our children are growing up in an ever changing, fast-paced world, which is so different to the one we grew up in. Our children have more pressure to be better, look better, do better, and in a world where lives are so publicly scrutinised and commented on through social media it’s really no wonder we’re seeing mental health problems sky rocketing amongst children, teens, and young adults. What you can expect from this podcast are honest conversations about parenting. We’ll talk confidence resilience, anxiety, managing tech, and all the topics you’d expect as well blowing the lid off the widely help misconception that children are innately resilient. They’re not! This podcast is for people who want to get real about parenting. You understand it can get messy sometimes and aren’t afraid to admit it. I have had more than my fair share of messy and I will no doubt share these with you along the way. I won’t dress things up but I will always give you something practical to take away and use in each and every episode. My guests and experts will be real people who have overcome their own adversities and bring with them a message to us as parents, as well as inspiring stories. So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation... We'd love to hear from you! We want to hear what you love and what you don't love about the podcast, so we can keep making it better: https://podcastsurvey.typeform.com/to/SEyYrxGB Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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