How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

Dr Maryhan
  • 4.9 (8)
  • Parenting
  • Updated Semiweekly

Hello, I'm psychologist and parenting expert Dr Maryhan and this is How Not To Screw Up Your Kids, the podcast for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone else who wants to be part of a movement to raise confident children who grow up believing in themselves. Follow now for twice weekly episodes - on Monday's you'll find shorter Bucket Emptying episodes, with longer episodes each Thursday. The greatest gift we can give our children is self-belief. It will get them further in life than any qualification and is absolutely possible for each and every child; we just need the right information and support around us to teach them. The old saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child” couldn’t be more true than now. Parenting has got a whole lot harder; not just because we are busier than ever but because our children are growing up in an ever changing, fast-paced world, which is so different to the one we grew up in. Our children have more pressure to be better, look better, do better, and in a world where lives are so publicly scrutinised and commented on through social media it’s really no wonder we’re seeing mental health problems sky rocketing amongst children, teens, and young adults. What you can expect from this podcast are honest conversations about parenting. We’ll talk confidence resilience, anxiety, managing tech, and all the topics you’d expect as well blowing the lid off the widely help misconception that children are innately resilient. They’re not! This podcast is for people who want to get real about parenting. You understand it can get messy sometimes and aren’t afraid to admit it. I have had more than my fair share of messy and I will no doubt share these with you along the way. I won’t dress things up but I will always give you something practical to take away and use in each and every episode. My guests and experts will be real people who have overcome their own adversities and bring with them a message to us as parents, as well as inspiring stories. So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation... We'd love to hear from you! We want to hear what you love and what you don't love about the podcast, so we can keep making it better: https://podcastsurvey.typeform.com/to/SEyYrxGB Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  1. 1d ago

    Bucket Emptying: 5 Questions to Ask Your Child Instead of 'How Was School?'

    If you’ve ever asked your children “How was school?” and received “Fine”, “I don’t know”, or total silence, you’re not alone. Our children walk through the door with a full emotional bucket, tired from holding themselves together all day, so the usual questions just don’t work. In today’s bucket emptying episode, I give you five simple questions you can start using today that help your kids open and help you connect deeper and communicate better. If you want to strengthen your relationship with your child, reduce after‑school battles, and finally hear what their day was really like, this episode gives you the exact language and structure to do it. These five questions are so much more than ice-breakers. So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 00:55 - Stop asking impossible questions 04:09 - Talking is not the same as being ready to connect 08:09 - Consistency is safe 10:26 - Plant the seeds 12:40 - The 5 questions 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Bucket Emptying: 5 Questions to Ask Your Child Instead of 'How Was School?'

  2. 5d ago

    Raising Children Who Love Learning

    What’s the real key to raising a child who genuinely loves learning - not because of school pressure, grades, or how much homework they do, but because curiosity and resilience have been built from the inside out? As a psychologist and parent, I’ve seen again and again that children do the best academically and emotionally when we stop focusing on homework battles, reading resistance, or low motivation, and instead think about the deeper skills that make learning fun and self‑driven. In today’s episode, I walk you through the two main skills every child needs - curiosity and resilience - and give you five practical ways you can start strengthening them today. From following your child’s natural spark, to praising the process instead of the outcome, to letting them see you get things wrong, protecting unstructured time, and resisting the urge to rescue them too quickly… these are the tools that build lifelong learners who don’t need pushing, bribing or nagging. This episode will help your child become more confident, capable, motivated and engaged, at school and beyond. So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 00:47 - Playing the long game 05:39 - 2 skill gaps you need to know 08:41 - Failing is how you learn 13:19 - Identity and outcome 15:55 - Get things wrong 18:30 - Teach your kids to be curious 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Raising Children Who Love Learning

  3. Aug 30

    Bucket Emptying - REFILL: First Day at School Jitters - Top Ten Tips

    The first day at a new school can be a scary experience for many children, as well as us parents! But what do you do if your kid is super nervous? We often feel like the bad guy making them go in when they clearly don’t want to, even when we know it’s the best thing for them, so in this week’s bucket emptying episode, I give you my ten top tips for managing those first day jitters. So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 01:21 - It’s normal to feel nervous 05:33 - Active listening 09:28 - Pulling back bedtime 13:28 - Role play problem solving 14:55 - Prep ourselves 18:03 - Protect their energy 21:35 - A happy child is more likely to learn 24:51 - Pulling everything together 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Bucket Emptying - REFILL: First Day at School Jitters - Top Ten Tips

  4. Aug 26

    The One Conversation Every Parent Should Have With Their Child Before September

    Whether your child is starting reception, moving into secondary school, returning to a familiar classroom, or stepping into a brand‑new environment like college or university, there is one important conversation you should be having, but most parents miss it. In today’s episode, I walk you through exactly how I approach this conversation in my own family and with the families I support: how to choose the right moment, how to open the discussion without triggering anxiety, how to validate their feelings, how to widen the emotional picture, and how to end with the kind of certainty that genuinely steadies a child’s nervous system. I’m going to give you the practical steps to help your children feel safe, prepared and connected, without the overwhelm. So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 00:49 - Ch-ch-ch-changes 04:00 - How to know when your child is ready 08:06 - Worst case scenarios 10:49 - What to ask… and what not to ask 13:29 - Validate whatever they say 17:03 - This is what certainty sounds like 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    The One Conversation Every Parent Should Have With Their Child Before September

  5. Aug 23

    3 Conversation to Have with Your Child After Results (For Any Grade)

    Results week doesn’t end on results day - in fact, the days and weeks following results day is where the real emotional work happens. In today’s bucket emptying episode, I give you three precise, ready‑to‑use conversation starters that help your child feel seen, steady and supported, regardless of whether they’re celebrating, disappointed, confused or quietly struggling. As a parent, your words shape how your child processes their results, how they rebuild their confidence, and how they move forward. These conversation starters work for GCSEs, A‑levels and any moment where your child is facing uncertainty, shame, pride or a changed plan. If you want to be the supportive presence your child needs, reduce overwhelm, and strengthen their emotional resilience, this episode gives you the exact language to do it. So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 00:41 - What about afterwards? 02:23 - No pressure 05:03 - Resist reassurance 08:02 - Love is not conditional 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    3 Conversation to Have with Your Child After Results (For Any Grade)

  6. Aug 19

    GCSE Results Day: What Your Child Needs From You in the Next 24 Hours

    GCSE results day isn’t really about grades - it’s about emotions. Everyone is feeling a lot of things, from the moment you wake up, to opening that envelope, and then processing whatever is inside. In this episode, I explain why teens react so differently to results, and how your own exam memories resurface to influence your parenting. Remember: this day belongs to our children. Let them lead and be there to help them navigate whatever they’re feeling. To help you get through results day, I am giving you five tools you can use today that help your child feel safe, supported, and seen, because a calm parent changes everything. So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 00:40 - Results day stays with us 05:08 - Signs to look for 08:33 - Why does our response matter so much 12:11 - 5 things you need to do 14:47 - Do not compare 17:05 - You don’t need to talk about the future today 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  ☀️ NEW — The Summer Reset. My seven-week summer programme for parents of anxious children (5–16) — whatever sets the worry off: five live group coaching calls + two private 1:1 sessions with me + every tool, all summer. 18 families only, starts 23 July. Details & enrolment: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/the-summer-reset   DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    GCSE Results Day: What Your Child Needs From You in the Next 24 Hours

  7. Aug 16

    Bucket Emptying: 5 Ways to Support Your Teenager When Plans Change

    If your teenager’s exam results were not what you expected, your plans might be making some sudden changes. That’s ok, and this episode is for you. Whether your child didn’t get the grades they hoped for, is suddenly unsure about university, or is facing a future that looks different from what they imagined, I will walk you through the five things I want you to do this week to help them move forward. Disappointing results can trigger shock, anxiety and fear, because teenagers aren’t just losing a plan, they’re losing the version of themselves they thought they were becoming. I show you how to name the loss, how to slow the decision‑making process so your teen isn’t making life choices in a state of distress, and how to help them build a new story that feels hopeful rather than catastrophic. I also give you the exact language to separate their identity from their grades, and the questions that help them lead the next step with confidence rather than panic. If your teenager is hurting, overwhelmed or unsure what comes next, this episode will give you the guidance you need to support them in the weeks and months ahead. So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 00:50 - Grieving your imagined future 02:21 - How to acknowledge your child 05:35 - Help them write a new story 09:11 - Let them lead 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  ☀️ NEW — The Summer Reset. My seven-week summer programme for parents of anxious children (5–16) — whatever sets the worry off: five live group coaching calls + two private 1:1 sessions with me + every tool, all summer. 18 families only, starts 23 July. Details & enrolment: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/the-summer-reset   DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Bucket Emptying: 5 Ways to Support Your Teenager When Plans Change

  8. Aug 12

    What to Say to Your Teenager on Results Day (Whatever the Grades)

    Results Day is one of the most emotionally-charged moments in your teenager’s life, and what you say in the first hours after they open that envelope can shape their confidence, their resilience, and their future selves. No pressure 😂 Today I am going to give you the exact sentences to use on A‑level Results Day, GCSE Results Day, or any high‑stakes academic moment. No clichés, no “at least” statements, no accidental pressure, just clear, grounded language that helps your teen feel seen, supported and safe. You’ll learn why teens process results so intensely, how to avoid the most common parental mistakes, what to say before they open their grades, how to respond if they’re devastated, and how to hold the emotional space so they can think clearly again. If you’re stressed about how to help your child through results day, this episode is exactly what you need! So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 00:40 - Your role on results day 05:04 - 4 things to do before they open the envelope 10:34 - What to do on the day 14:45 - Follow their lead 18:10 - It’s their news to tell 20:09 - Avoid these things 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  ☀️ NEW — The Summer Reset. My seven-week summer programme for parents of anxious children (5–16) — whatever sets the worry off: five live group coaching calls + two private 1:1 sessions with me + every tool, all summer. 18 families only, starts 23 July. Details & enrolment: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/the-summer-reset   DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    What to Say to Your Teenager on Results Day (Whatever the Grades)
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4.9
out of 5
8 Ratings

About

Hello, I'm psychologist and parenting expert Dr Maryhan and this is How Not To Screw Up Your Kids, the podcast for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone else who wants to be part of a movement to raise confident children who grow up believing in themselves. Follow now for twice weekly episodes - on Monday's you'll find shorter Bucket Emptying episodes, with longer episodes each Thursday. The greatest gift we can give our children is self-belief. It will get them further in life than any qualification and is absolutely possible for each and every child; we just need the right information and support around us to teach them. The old saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child” couldn’t be more true than now. Parenting has got a whole lot harder; not just because we are busier than ever but because our children are growing up in an ever changing, fast-paced world, which is so different to the one we grew up in. Our children have more pressure to be better, look better, do better, and in a world where lives are so publicly scrutinised and commented on through social media it’s really no wonder we’re seeing mental health problems sky rocketing amongst children, teens, and young adults. What you can expect from this podcast are honest conversations about parenting. We’ll talk confidence resilience, anxiety, managing tech, and all the topics you’d expect as well blowing the lid off the widely help misconception that children are innately resilient. They’re not! This podcast is for people who want to get real about parenting. You understand it can get messy sometimes and aren’t afraid to admit it. I have had more than my fair share of messy and I will no doubt share these with you along the way. I won’t dress things up but I will always give you something practical to take away and use in each and every episode. My guests and experts will be real people who have overcome their own adversities and bring with them a message to us as parents, as well as inspiring stories. So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation... We'd love to hear from you! We want to hear what you love and what you don't love about the podcast, so we can keep making it better: https://podcastsurvey.typeform.com/to/SEyYrxGB Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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