How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

Dr Maryhan
  • 4.9 (8)
  • Parenting
  • Updated Semiweekly

Hello, I'm psychologist and parenting expert Dr Maryhan and this is How Not To Screw Up Your Kids, the podcast for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone else who wants to be part of a movement to raise confident children who grow up believing in themselves. Follow now for twice weekly episodes - on Monday's you'll find shorter Bucket Emptying episodes, with longer episodes each Thursday. The greatest gift we can give our children is self-belief. It will get them further in life than any qualification and is absolutely possible for each and every child; we just need the right information and support around us to teach them. The old saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child” couldn’t be more true than now. Parenting has got a whole lot harder; not just because we are busier than ever but because our children are growing up in an ever changing, fast-paced world, which is so different to the one we grew up in. Our children have more pressure to be better, look better, do better, and in a world where lives are so publicly scrutinised and commented on through social media it’s really no wonder we’re seeing mental health problems sky rocketing amongst children, teens, and young adults. What you can expect from this podcast are honest conversations about parenting. We’ll talk confidence resilience, anxiety, managing tech, and all the topics you’d expect as well blowing the lid off the widely help misconception that children are innately resilient. They’re not! This podcast is for people who want to get real about parenting. You understand it can get messy sometimes and aren’t afraid to admit it. I have had more than my fair share of messy and I will no doubt share these with you along the way. I won’t dress things up but I will always give you something practical to take away and use in each and every episode. My guests and experts will be real people who have overcome their own adversities and bring with them a message to us as parents, as well as inspiring stories. So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation... We'd love to hear from you! We want to hear what you love and what you don't love about the podcast, so we can keep making it better: https://podcastsurvey.typeform.com/to/SEyYrxGB Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  1. 3d ago

    Highly Sensitive Children: Is It Anxiety, Neurodivergence or Just Who They Are?

    In this episode, I’m diving into one of the most misunderstood traits I see in children every single week: high sensitivity. If your child feels everything deeply - the loud places, the scratchy clothes, the emotional intensity of a birthday party they actually enjoyed - you may have wondered whether it’s anxiety, ADHD, autism, or something you’ve somehow caused. So let’s clear it up. I explain the difference between high sensitivity, anxiety, and neurodivergence, why they overlap, and how to tell what you’re really looking at. You’ll learn the five patterns that reliably show up in highly sensitive children, why their nervous system processes the world more deeply, and how this trait can be a profound strength when it’s understood rather than pathologised. Most importantly, I will give you five practical tools you can start using today. If you’ve ever been told your child is “too sensitive”, or you’ve quietly wondered whether something is wrong, this episode will help you see what’s actually happening, and what your child truly needs. Highlights from this episode: 01:21 - Can labels be limiting? 03:13 - Highly sensitive is not a diagnosis 06:26 - 5 signs of high sensitivity 13:41 - Sensitivity versus neurodivergence 19:36 - What you can do right now 26:07 - Sensitivity is a superpower 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  ☀️ NEW — The Summer Reset. My seven-week summer programme for parents of anxious children (5–16) — whatever sets the worry off: five live group coaching calls + two private 1:1 sessions with me + every tool, all summer. 18 families only, starts 23 July. Details & enrolment: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/the-summer-reset   DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Highly Sensitive Children: Is It Anxiety, Neurodivergence or Just Who They Are?

  2. 6d ago

    How to Survive the First Week of the Holidays

    In this episode, I will walk you through the real first week of the school holidays - the meltdowns, the boredom, the clinginess, the explosions over nothing - and why this week is always the hardest for anxious children. I explain exactly what’s happening in your child’s nervous system when the school‑day scaffolding disappears, why their bucket fills before lunchtime, and the three practical tools you can use immediately to stabilise the week. So if you’re standing in your kitchen wondering how you’re going to survive six weeks, this episode gives you what you need to get through the first seven days without losing yourself! Highlights from this episode: 01:11 - When the scaffolding comes down 03:00 - What is the bucket? 05:09 - Name the state, not the behaviour 08:50 - Predictable moments 11:01 - Lower your expectations 14:33 - Holiday rhythm card 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  ☀️ NEW — The Summer Reset. My seven-week summer programme for parents of anxious children (5–16) — whatever sets the worry off: five live group coaching calls + two private 1:1 sessions with me + every tool, all summer. 18 families only, starts 23 July. Details & enrolment: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/the-summer-reset   DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    How to Survive the First Week of the Holidays

  3. Jul 15

    Why Anxious Children Struggle in the Holidays (and What Actually Helps)

    Summer holidays are tough for parents, but it can be a hidden superpower! In this episode, I explain exactly why anxious children struggle the moment school ends, why the holidays bring out their anxiety, and the five practical tools that genuinely help. I walk you through the real reason behind the meltdowns, the boredom‑to‑explosion cycle, the clinginess, and the screen‑time battles. You’ll learn how predictability, scaffolding, social structure and nervous‑system load change dramatically once term ends - and why this shift hits anxious children harder than anyone expects. I also break down the three groups of children who improve in the holidays: separation‑anxious childrenschool‑specific anxious children, andchildren who monitor family safety. By the end of this episode, you’ll have a clear, compassionate framework for understanding your child’s behaviour, plus five actionable tools you can start right now. Highlights from this episode: 01:22 - Anxiety is information 04:45 - How to spot anxiety 09:23 - Social comparison 12:19 - The trigger has left the building 16:54 - Contrast is the signal 20:57 - Where does overwhelm come from? 23:18 - 5 tools to use now 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  ☀️ NEW — The Summer Reset. My seven-week summer programme for parents of anxious children (5–16) — whatever sets the worry off: five live group coaching calls + two private 1:1 sessions with me + every tool, all summer. 18 families only, starts 23 July. Details & enrolment: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/the-summer-reset   DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Why Anxious Children Struggle in the Holidays (and What Actually Helps)

  4. Jul 12

    What to Say When Your Child Says "I Give Up"

    In today’s bucket‑emptying episode, I’m giving you the exact words to use in one of the hardest parenting moments: when your child looks at you and says “I’m not good enough.” If you’ve ever watched your child crumble after a mistake, a test, a football practice, or a moment that didn’t go their way, and your reassurance only made things worse, you need this episode. I walk you through three specific tools that work with an overwhelmed nervous system, not against it. You’ll learn why reassurance backfires, what’s actually happening inside your child’s emotional bucket, and how to respond in a way that builds resilience, emotional regulation, and self‑worth. If your child struggles with perfectionism, anxiety, low confidence, big feelings, or shutdowns, this episode is your secret weapon. Highlights from this episode: 02:12 - This is what your child really means 04:31 - Do this before anything else 07:16 - Permanence is terrifying 09:24 - Empty the bucket 11:48 - My give to you 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  ☀️ NEW — The Summer Reset. My seven-week summer programme for parents of anxious children (5–16) — whatever sets the worry off: five live group coaching calls + two private 1:1 sessions with me + every tool, all summer. 18 families only, starts 23 July. Details & enrolment: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/the-summer-reset  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    What to Say When Your Child Says "I Give Up"

  5. Jul 8

    Why I'm Only Just Being Diagnosed: Neurodivergence, Perimenopause and Parenting

    If you’re a woman in your 40s or 50s who feels like everything has suddenly become harder - the brain fog, the overwhelm, the burnout, the emotional crashes, the sense that you’re “failing” at things you used to manage - this episode may explain more than you realise. I’m joined again by Jessie Hewitson to talk about a phenomenon we’re seeing everywhere: women in peri‑ and post‑menopause receiving an ADHD or autism diagnosis for the very first time. Jessie shares her own story, how supporting her neurodivergent son led her to recognise lifelong patterns in herself, and how the hormonal shifts of perimenopause made previously manageable struggles suddenly impossible to ignore. We talk about why so many women were missed as children, how inattentive ADHD presents completely differently in girls and women, why masking works until it doesn’t, and how executive function collapses under hormonal change. We also dive into rejection sensitivity dysphoria, people‑pleasing, burnout, the “good girl” conditioning so many women carry, and why the perfect storm of midlife - teenagers, aging parents, senior roles, and hormonal upheaval - pushes long‑standing neurodivergence to the surface. If you’ve ever wondered why you’re suddenly overwhelmed by tasks you used to juggle, why anxiety has spiked, why your coping strategies have stopped working, or why menopause feels like more than menopause, this conversation will give you clarity, and help you understand what might really be going on. Highlights from this episode: 01:44 - Neurotypical strategies don’t work! 04:43 - Inattentive versus hyperactive 10:25 - Executive function 16:43 - ADHD and burnout 19:25 - Rejection sensitivity 25:17 - Anxiety of falling short 28:59 - The shame of ADHD 32:51 - Task initiation 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Why I'm Only Just Being Diagnosed: Neurodivergence, Perimenopause and Parenting

  6. Jul 5

    Three Signs Your Daughter Needs an ADHD Test

    If your daughter is “fine at school” but falling apart at home - the meltdowns, the morning battles, the homework explosions, the constant need for you to narrate every step - this episode may be the missing piece you’ve been searching for. Because none of this is about attitude, defiance or bad parenting. It may be ADHD, and in girls it looks nothing like the stereotype. In this episode, I walk you through three signs of ADHD in girls that are missed for years sometimes decades. You’ll learn why your daughter’s bucket fills faster than anyone realises, why she can hold it together all day only to unravel the moment she feels safe, why she can’t sequence tasks her peers manage easily, and why her emotional reactions seem so out of proportion to the trigger. I’ll show you how masking works, why teachers often see a completely different child, and why girls are diagnosed three to four years later than boys… if they’re diagnosed at all. And most importantly, I’ll give you the language and the framework to recognise these signs in your daughter and know exactly what to do next. If you’ve been quietly wondering whether something deeper is going on, if anxiety treatment hasn’t shifted the core problem, if the worry keeps coming back, if the restlessness never quite makes sense, this episode will help you see your daughter clearly, compassionately, and accurately. You know your child. If something has felt “off” for a long time, trust that. And let this episode be your starting point. Highlights from this episode: 02:14 - The stuff nobody else sees 04:48 - This is why your daughter is not diagnosed 07:11 - Executive dysfunction 10:07 - It’s not bad behaviour 12:09 - Why do girls get missed? 14:20 - Treatment is more than medication 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Three Signs Your Daughter Needs an ADHD Test

  7. Jul 1

    ADHD in Girls: Why It's So Often Missed and What Parents Need to Know

    If you’re parenting a girl who is anxious, overwhelmed, explosive at home, masking at school, or constantly burning out, this episode will give you answers you may have been searching for for years. I’m joined by Dr Olivia Kesel, whose new book Beyond the Label: Empowering Parents of ADHD Girls is one I believe every parent of a daughter should read. Olivia shares her story of years of chaos, shame, confusion and exhaustion, and the moment everything changed when she finally understood what was happening inside her daughter’s brain. We talk openly about the behaviours parents blame themselves for: the violent outbursts, the school‑morning battles, the sleepless nights, the homework meltdowns, the “she’s fine at school but falling apart at home” pattern. And we unpack why girls with ADHD are so often missed, misdiagnosed, or treated for the wrong thing entirely. You’ll learn the signs of ADHD in girls that parents and teachers overlook, why masking is a red flag rather than reassurance, how estrogen amplifies symptoms during puberty and perimenopause, why anxiety and depression treatments often fail when ADHD is the root cause, and what to do if you suspect your daughter’s struggles go deeper than anyone has realised. If you’ve ever felt alone, ashamed, or convinced you’re “failing” as a parent because nothing seems to work, this conversation will give you clarity, compassion, and a roadmap. You are not imagining it. You are not alone. And there is a way forward. More from Olivia: Beyond the Label - https://a.co/d/0c1d9ou4  SEND Parenting Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/send-parenting-podcast/id1655677210  Website - https://www.droliviakessel.com/  Highlights from this episode: 04:23 - Chaos and crap 08:52 - The biggest myth about ADHD 13:31 - Symptoms of ADHD in girls 19:58 - Dopamine and masking explained 23:52 - Treating the symptom over the cause 29:03 - Everyone has ADHD 32:55 - What can parents do? 38:20 - Diagnosis pros and cons 42:26 - To medicate or not to medicate 48:01 - Don’t listen to social media 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    ADHD in Girls: Why It's So Often Missed and What Parents Need to Know

  8. Jun 28

    My Child Won't Stop Comparing Themselves to Their Sibling

    If your child is constantly shouting “It’s not fair!”, measuring every biscuit, bedtime or privilege against their sibling, and turning every moment into a competition, this episode will help you breathe again. None of this is really about fairness; it’s about belonging. When children compare, they’re not asking about portions. They’re asking, do I matter as much as they do? In this episode, I’ll show you exactly what’s happening underneath the comparison and why logic never works when your child’s emotional bucket is full. You’ll learn the three tools that actually shift the dynamic: how to name the feeling beneath the argument, how to reframe fairness as equity rather than equality, and how to help your child build their own yardstick so they stop measuring themselves against their sibling. If you’re exhausted by the constant battles, or worried that your child will always be stuck in comparison mode, this episode will give you clarity, language and practical steps you can use today. They’re not fighting about the biscuit - they’re asking if they matter. And you can answer that question in a way that changes everything. Highlights from this episode: 01:11 - It’s not about the biscuit 04:29 - Name what they’re actually asking 06:40 - Equity over quality 09:14 - Give them their own yardstick 12:13 - It’s not you, it’s me 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/  💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library  💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    My Child Won't Stop Comparing Themselves to Their Sibling
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4.9
out of 5
8 Ratings

About

Hello, I'm psychologist and parenting expert Dr Maryhan and this is How Not To Screw Up Your Kids, the podcast for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone else who wants to be part of a movement to raise confident children who grow up believing in themselves. Follow now for twice weekly episodes - on Monday's you'll find shorter Bucket Emptying episodes, with longer episodes each Thursday. The greatest gift we can give our children is self-belief. It will get them further in life than any qualification and is absolutely possible for each and every child; we just need the right information and support around us to teach them. The old saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child” couldn’t be more true than now. Parenting has got a whole lot harder; not just because we are busier than ever but because our children are growing up in an ever changing, fast-paced world, which is so different to the one we grew up in. Our children have more pressure to be better, look better, do better, and in a world where lives are so publicly scrutinised and commented on through social media it’s really no wonder we’re seeing mental health problems sky rocketing amongst children, teens, and young adults. What you can expect from this podcast are honest conversations about parenting. We’ll talk confidence resilience, anxiety, managing tech, and all the topics you’d expect as well blowing the lid off the widely help misconception that children are innately resilient. They’re not! This podcast is for people who want to get real about parenting. You understand it can get messy sometimes and aren’t afraid to admit it. I have had more than my fair share of messy and I will no doubt share these with you along the way. I won’t dress things up but I will always give you something practical to take away and use in each and every episode. My guests and experts will be real people who have overcome their own adversities and bring with them a message to us as parents, as well as inspiring stories. So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation... We'd love to hear from you! We want to hear what you love and what you don't love about the podcast, so we can keep making it better: https://podcastsurvey.typeform.com/to/SEyYrxGB Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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