Resilient Kid: Therapy and tips for raising strong kids and teens

Ashley Costello | TEDx Speaker | Author | Psychotherapist | Award Winner
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TEDx speaker, author, and award-winning psychotherapist Ashley Costello provides therapy and tips for raising strong kids and teens. As the visionary founder of The Resilient Kid Franchise, Ashley shares professional psychotherapy and support for child mental health. Discover practical parenting strategies for every stage of your child's forming years. Access searchable expert advice for families and educators dedicated to building resilience. This show delivers vital tools for raising strong, capable young people, focusing on mental wellness, professional support, and expert-led tips.

  1. 6D AGO

    The One Who Advocated

    We often hear the phrase “It takes a village to raise a child.” And while community matters, research consistently shows something powerful: the single greatest protective factor in a child’s life is one stable, supportive adult. One person who believes in them.One person who advocates for them.One person who stays steady when life feels uncertain. This episode launches a brand-new series on The Resilient Kid Podcast called Only Takes One Person. Fresh off the stage after winning the Heart of the Community Award, Ashley reflects on the power of advocacy, connection, and the ripple effect one person can have on a life. In this opening episode, Ashley shares a deeply personal story about her Auntie Vera (Vee) — the woman who stepped in and advocated for her when she was just 21 years old. After finishing her psychology degree, Ashley had applied for a counselling course, only to be told she was too young to be accepted. While Ashley was travelling in South America, her Auntie Vee received the call from the course professor. Rather than accepting the decision quietly, Vee stood up for her niece. She explained the experiences Ashley had already navigated in life — growing up in a multi-generational family, supporting grandparents, and witnessing her father’s mental health struggles — and why those experiences had shaped her desire to help others. That moment of advocacy changed everything. Ashley became the youngest person ever accepted onto the course, beginning a journey that has now spanned 30 years of supporting children, families and schools. But this episode isn’t just about one phone call. It’s about the profound impact one person can have on a young life. Whether that person is a parent, teacher, mentor, coach or relative — a single relationship can change a child’s sense of safety, belief, and possibility. Through The Resilient Kid programme, Ashley and her team hope to be that person for many of the children and families they support. Because sometimes, the biggest changes begin with the smallest moments of belief. In this episode, we explore: Why one supportive adult is the strongest protective factor for childrenA personal story about advocacy and opportunityHow belief from others shapes confidence and resilienceWhy the work of supporting children is often about showing up consistentlyThe ripple effect one person can create across a lifetimeA reflection for listeners Who was the person who believed in you?A parent, teacher, coach, mentor, grandparent or friend who saw something in you before you fully saw it yourself?We would love to hear your story.Because resilience isn’t built in isolation.It’s built in connection.And sometimes… it only takes one person.Coming up next In the next episode of the series, Ashley will be joined by a special guest who will share the story of their one person and the impact that relationship had on their life. Time Stamps: 00:00 One Person Matters01:00 Series Kickoff01:13 Heart of Community Night02:34 Why This Series Exists03:29 Auntie V Advocates06:22 Bread as Currency08:28 Coaches and Teachers10:16 Advocacy in Schools12:36 Parents Need Allies14:17 Your Person Reflection15:44 Closing and Call In Find all the resources in our Listeners Lounge: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge Useful Links Sign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/shareGet “A Parent’s Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid”: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkidukInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkidLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkidPinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademyYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costelloWebsite: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk

    16 min

  2. FEB 25

    Dads Club with Rob Garner

    The Power of Dads, Community & Connection With Rob from Davenham & Macclesfield Dads Club What does it really mean to be a dad in 2026? In this powerful and heartfelt episode, I’m joined by Rob, founder of Davenham Dads Club and Macclesfield Dads Club, to talk about modern fatherhood, male mental health, and why community matters more than ever. This isn’t about criticising schools, families, or men. It’s about recognising the quiet pressure many fathers carry — and why safe spaces to talk are no longer optional. They’re essential. Drawing from lived experience, community work, and honest conversation, we explore what resilience really looks like for dads — and why confident, regulated adults raise confident, regulated children. In this episode, we explore: The quiet loneliness many dads carryThe stigma around men talking about emotionsMiscarriage and dads being “left behind” in griefWhy boys need love, time, and strong role modelsThe power of roughhousing, play, and presenceHow dads build confidence differentlyWhy regulated adults raise regulated childrenHow a simple “safe space to talk” is quietly changing livesKey Takeaway: Resilience isn’t built in isolation. It’s built in community. And sometimes it starts with two hours, once a month. Who This Episode Is For: Dads feeling isolated or overwhelmedPartners who want fathers to feel supportedParents raising boys who need emotionally healthy male role modelsSchool leaders thinking about community wellbeingAnyone who believes children deserve emotionally regulated adults around themIf This Episode Resonated Please consider sharing this episode. Your shares help these conversations reach the dads who may never ask for help — but deeply need it. 🎧 Share this episode with someone who quietly carries more than they show. Spotify – Listen here YouTube – Watch here Time Stamps: 00:00 What does it mean to be a dad in 2026? 00:58 Meet Rob & The Dads Club Story 02:35 The Soup Pitch & Why Humility Matters 04:12 How Dads Club Started 06:20 The Safe Space in the Pub 08:45 Building a Support Network 11:30 Why Dads Stay Silent 14:02 Miscarriage, Grief & Men Being Left Behind 17:10 Rebuilding Community for Men 19:42 WhatsApp Community Wins 22:05 What Dads Bring to Confidence Building 25:30 Roughhousing, Feral Play & Boundaries 28:40 What Boys Need Most From Dads 32:55 What Rob Hopes His Sons Will Say One Day 35:10 Where to Find Dads Club 37:00 Final Reflections Find all the resources in our Listeners Lounge: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge Rob’s Links Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61586925473953 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/davenham_dads_club/ Email: robertvgarner@hotmail.com Useful Links Sign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/share Get “A Parent’s Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid”: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkiduk Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkid LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkid Pinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademy YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957 Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costello Website: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk

    37 min

  3. FEB 19

    The Gap Between Education and Emotional Wellbeing

    As my youngest turns 16 and prepares for his final year of school, I found myself reflecting on a bigger question: Are we building systems that nurture who young people are becoming — or are we asking them to constantly adapt to pressure? In this episode, I explore the growing gap between academic performance structures and emotional wellbeing support in education. This isn’t about criticising schools — far from it. Schools are not failing. They are stretched. Drawing from our CPD work, Resilient Schools training, and research into teen brain development, I unpack: Why burnout is showing up younger than everWhy behaviour often reflects nervous system overloadHow performance pressure can narrow creativityWhy belonging is a protective factor for mental healthAnd what preventative resilience work really looks likeIn this episode, we cover: Why February fatigue is real for children and staffThe neuroscience of teen risk-taking and impulse controlEmotional containment in classroomsThe difference between reactive and preventative supportWhy disengagement from education is often a signal, not defianceThe importance of strengthening emotional scaffolding around academic systemsPractical takeaways: We don’t need to dismantle the education system.We need to strengthen the emotional scaffolding around it. Resilience isn’t a “nice to have.”It’s foundational. Key reminder: You are not burning out because you are weak. You are burning out because you care deeply inside a system that rarely slows down. The goal is not to care less. The goal is to protect yourself while you care. Who This Episode Is For: Parents navigating anxiety or school-related stressTeachers carrying emotional load in the classroomSchool leaders thinking about whole-school wellbeingTherapists, coaches, and professionals who feel the gap in supportAnyone who believes young people deserve both achievement and emotional safetyResources & Support If this episode resonated with you: Share it with a school leader or colleagueStart a conversation in your setting about preventative resilienceOr reach out to explore how The Resilient Kid framework could support your communityBecause young people don’t just need standards.They need scaffolding. Time Stamps: 00:00 Education vs Emotional Wellbeing: The Growing Gap00:14 A Personal Reflection: Watching My Son Grow Up01:13 Schools Aren’t Failing—They’re Overstretched02:14 What Teachers Are Really Doing Now (Beyond Teaching)04:12 Where’s the Emotional Scaffolding? From Rote Learning to Regulation05:20 Psychological Safety & the Shock of High School Transition06:48 Lunch on the Run: The Hidden Stressors Kids ‘Put Up With’08:05 Reactive vs Preventative: What Teen Brain Science Tells Us10:38 Creativity, Identity & Why Performance Culture Breaks Kids12:29 Disengagement & ‘School Refusal’: A Belonging and Safety Issue14:11 What Needs to Change: Shared Language, Staff Training, Prevention15:04 A Model That Worked: Preventative Wellbeing in an Abu Dhabi School16:31 The Resilient Kid Framework: Partnering With Schools to Fill the Gap17:59 Call to Educators & Helpers: The Gap Is Real—and It’s an Opportunity19:04 Closing Message: Support Builds Resilience (Not Pressure)20:07 Thanks for Listening + Get In Touch / Join the Podcast Find all the resources in our Listeners Lounge https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge Useful Links Sign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/shareGet “A Parent’s Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid”: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkidukInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkidLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkidPinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademyYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costelloWebsite: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk

    21 min

  4. FEB 12

    The Hidden Emotional Labour of School Staff (And Why It’s Breaking You)

    The Hidden Emotional Labour of School Staff (And Why It’s Breaking You)🎙️ The Hidden Emotional Labour of School Staff (And Why It’s Breaking You)Teachers and school staff are walking out of buildings every day completely exhausted — not because the day was dramatic, but because it was relentless. In this episode, Ashley explores the hidden emotional labour inside schools — the constant co-regulation, emotional containment, and nervous system management that rarely gets acknowledged but leaves staff mentally and physically depleted. If you’re a teacher, TA, SENCO, pastoral lead, or school-based professional who goes home emotionally drained and unable to switch off, this episode explains why — and what you can do about it. In this episode, we cover: What emotional labour in schools really means Why supporting dysregulated children drains your nervous system The difference between busy-tired and emotionally exhausted Why compassionate staff are most at risk of burnout The difference between empathy and absorbing Why burnout isn’t weakness — it’s sustained emotional outputWhy school staff feel so drainedSupporting children with behaviour, trauma, and regulation needs requires calm tone, steady presence, and emotional containment. Staff regulate multiple nervous systems before reaching their own. Without space to reset, this creates nervous system overload. This isn’t about resilience. It’s sustained emotional output without protection. Practical takeaways: Separate empathy from absorbing — ask “Is this mine or theirs?” Close emotional loops after difficult moments Use short nervous system resets between interactions Build one low-demand moment into your day Name the emotional load instead of suppressing it Create a transition ritual before going homeKey reminder:You are not burning out because you are weak. You are burning out because you care deeply in a system that rarely slows down. The goal isn’t to care less — it’s to protect yourself while you care. Who This Episode Is For: Teachers and teaching assistants SENCOs and pastoral leads School leaders School-based professionals working with childrenResources & SupportIf you’d like support with emotional regulation, nervous system tools, or CPD for your school, explore Ashley’s work at The Resilient Kid, including workshops, training, and the Resilient Kid Programme. Visit: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk If This Episode HelpedPlease consider sharing it with a teacher, TA, or school professional who may need to hear they’re not failing — they’re carrying a lot. 🎧 Share this episode with someone who walks out of school exhausted but still deeply cares. Spotify – YouTube – Time Stamps:00:00 Introduction and Apologies00:16 Understanding Emotional Labour in Schools02:29 The Impact on School Staff03:49 Recognising Burnout08:26 Managing Emotional Labour13:24 Transition Rituals17:57 Final Thoughts Find all the resources in our Listeners Loungehttps://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge Useful LinksSign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/shareGet “A Parent’s Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid”: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkidukInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkidLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkidPinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademyYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costelloWebsite: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk

    19 min

  5. JAN 28

    Why are so many nursery children not ready for school and what actually helps?

    More children are starting school without the skills they need to feel confident, settled, and ready to learn — and it’s not because parents don’t care. In this episode, Ashley explores why so many nursery-aged children are being described as “not school ready,” what professionals across early years and education are seeing, and how small, everyday changes at home can make a big difference. With warmth, honesty, and practical guidance, this episode covers speech and language development, independence, toileting, screen use, and the simple skills that truly prepare children for school — without panic, blame, or unrealistic expectations. In this episode, we cover: What “school readiness” really means (and what it doesn’t)Why more children are struggling with communication, regulation, and independenceThe rise in speech and language delays in nursery-aged childrenWhy toilet training is an important part of school readinessThe impact of screen use on communication and social skillsWhy iPads at the table don’t support language developmentHow independence, turn-taking, and conversation build confidenceWhat parents can do — practically and gently — to support readiness at homeWhy school readiness isn’t about pushing children faster, but building strong foundationsPractical takeaways: Create screen-free mealtimes to encourage conversationPractise turn-taking through games and everyday interactionsSupport toilet training with consistency and gentle leadershipBuild independence through everyday tasksReduce background noise and increase face-to-face interactionFocus on emotional coaching, not perfectionKey reminder: School readiness isn’t about academic ability — it’s about communication, connection, independence, and confidence. Small, consistent changes at home can make a powerful difference in helping children feel safe, capable, and ready for the transition to school. Who This Episode Is For: Parents of nursery and pre-school childrenEarly years practitioners and educatorsParents feeling unsure or worried about school readinessAnyone wanting practical, realistic guidance without judgementResources & Support If you’d like more support around emotional regulation, confidence, and helping children feel ready for big transitions, explore Ashley’s work at The Resilient Kid, including workshops, resources, and the Resilient Kid Programme for families and schools. Resources & Support If you need support, you can reach out via social media or email ashley@theresilientkid.co.uk. We have an Anxiety Workshop coming up in February for £25, which includes a 60-minute session and a 30-minute Q&A. Sign up here - https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/parent-workshop  Time Stamps: 00:00 Introduction: The School Readiness Crisis 01:31 Understanding School Readiness 02:05 Communication and Emotional Regulation 02:29 The Role of Independence and Social Skills 03:06 Challenges in School Readiness 03:33 Impact of Screen Time on Development 06:16 Practical Tips for Reducing Screen Time 07:29 Building Independence in Daily Routines 10:23 Toilet Training: Overcoming the Challenges 16:33 Enhancing Speech and Language Skills 27:26 Final Thoughts and Encouragement 31:00 Conclusion and Resources Find all the resources in our Listeners Lounge https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge Useful Links Sign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/share Get “A Parent’s Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid”: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkiduk Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkid LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkid Pinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademy YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957 Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costello Website: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk

    32 min

  6. JAN 21

    Low Mood in Kids: What Helps and What Doesn’t

    Low mood in children often shows up in ways that are easy to misinterpret — especially in January. In this Blue Monday week episode, Ashley explores what low mood can look like in children, what’s happening in the brain, and how parents and teachers can respond in ways that support recovery rather than add pressure. This episode is for anyone supporting children at home or in school. In this episode, we cover: How low mood in children often looks like irritability or withdrawal The difference between low mood and defiance How stress and reduced daylight affect children’s brains Why January increases vulnerability for many children How school and home responses can work together Practical takeaways: What genuinely helps children experiencing low mood How predictability and connection support emotional safety Why adjusting demand can be protective, not permissive What well-intentioned responses often make things harder When to keep an eye on things and seek extra support Key reminder: Low mood is information — not failure.And children recover best when the adults around them respond with steadiness, understanding, and connection. 🎧 Share this episode with a teacher or parent supporting a child who feels “not quite themselves” right now. Spotify – YouTube – Time Stamps: 00:00 Introduction to Low Mood in Kids and Teens 00:30 Understanding January Blues 02:14 Recognising Low Mood Symptoms 03:35 Brain Science Behind Low Mood 07:14 Why January Exacerbates Low Mood 09:03 Effective Strategies for Parents and Educators 16:59 What Not to Do: Common Mistakes 19:03 When to Seek Help 20:20 Conclusion and Final Thoughts Find all the resources in our Listeners Lounge https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge Useful Links Sign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/shareGet “A Parent’s Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid”: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkidukInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkidLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkidPinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademyYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costelloWebsite: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk

    23 min

  7. JAN 14

    Resilient Mornings & Calmer Bedtimes After the Holidays

    Mornings and bedtimes often take the biggest hit after the holidays — and this episode explains why. Ashley breaks down what’s happening in children’s brains during transitions, why routines fall apart before they improve, and how parents and carers can support calmer starts and smoother evenings without constant battles. This is a practical, reassuring episode for families who are feeling stretched at the bookends of the day. In this episode, we cover: Why transitions are hard for children’s nervous systems What the prefrontal cortex needs to function well in the morning Why bedtime resistance increases when children are overtired The role of safety and predictability in sleep Why “trying harder” rarely helps tired brains Practical takeaways: How to build resilience into mornings without rushing or shouting Simple changes that reduce decision-fatigue Why protecting the wind-down matters more than bedtime itself Body-based strategies that help children settle at night Language that reduces pressure and supports sleep Key reminder: You don’t need perfect mornings or peaceful bedtimes.You need predictable cues, calmer rhythms, and fewer power struggles. 🎧 This episode is especially helpful after school holidays or periods of change. Link to buy weighted blankets Ashley spoke about – Kids weight: Weighted Blanket - Kids Teen & Adult Weight: Weighted Blanket - Teens Time Stamps: 00:00 Introduction: Why Mornings and Bedtimes Go Off the Rails 00:29 Understanding the January Struggle 02:11 The Brain After the Holidays: Why Transitions Are Hard 04:31 Why Mornings Are So Hard 07:25 Building Resilient Mornings: Practical Tips 17:35 Why Bedtimes Fall Apart After the Holidays 19:25 Creating Calmer Bedtimes: Practical Tips 26:21 Final Thoughts and Encouragement for Parents Find all the resources in our Listeners Lounge https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge Useful Links Sign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/share Get “A Parent’s Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid”: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkidukInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkidLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkidPinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademyYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costello Website: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk

    30 min

  8. JAN 7

    Why January Feels Harder Than It Should

    January is often sold as a “fresh start”, but for many families it feels anything but.In this episode, Ashley explores why January can be emotionally and behaviourally challenging for children, teens, and parents — and why this doesn’t mean anything has gone wrong. Using child development and brain science, this episode reframes January as a nervous-system recovery period, not a time for pressure or perfection. In this episode, we cover: Why children’s nervous systems don’t “reset” after the holidays How stress hormones and tired brains affect behaviour Why emotions often show up before words Why January is particularly tough for teens How adult expectations can unintentionally increase pressure Practical takeaways: How to spot when behaviour is coming from overload, not defiance Why gentler routines help children settle faster Simple ways to support emotional safety during transitions What parents can do when January feels heavy for everyone Key reminder: January isn’t a failure.It’s a biologically and developmentally demanding time for growing brains. 🎧 Share this episode with a parent who feels like they’re “behind” this month — they’re not. Time Stamps: 00:00 Introduction and New Year Greetings 00:51 Why January Feels Harder 02:00 The Myth of the Fresh Start 03:57 Brain Development and January Struggles 07:13 Why January Is Harder for Teens 11:02 Behavioural Changes and Communication 13:40 Supporting Kids and Teens in January 19:37 Conclusion and Final Thoughts Find all the resources in our Listeners Lounge https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge Useful Links Sign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/shareGet “A Parent’s Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid”: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkidukInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkidLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkidPinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademyYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costelloWebsite: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk

    23 min
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TEDx speaker, author, and award-winning psychotherapist Ashley Costello provides therapy and tips for raising strong kids and teens. As the visionary founder of The Resilient Kid Franchise, Ashley shares professional psychotherapy and support for child mental health. Discover practical parenting strategies for every stage of your child's forming years. Access searchable expert advice for families and educators dedicated to building resilience. This show delivers vital tools for raising strong, capable young people, focusing on mental wellness, professional support, and expert-led tips.

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