The Small Bow Podcast

thesmallbow.com
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Welcome to the Small Bow Podcast. I’m your host, A.J. Daulerio. This is a show about expanding the definition of recovery, where we talk to writers, entertainers, recovering addicts, recovering jerks, and even the occasional normal person — about their struggles with love, sex, money, loneliness, shame, grief, drugs, alcohol, ego, identity, fame, and other fun things. Whatever is bringing you down, you might find something here that you didn’t know you needed. In addition to this podcast, the Small Bow is also a newsletter and recovery community that I started in 2018 to chronicle my own path toward sobriety and sanity following multiple rehab stints and a very public ordeal in which I was a co-defendant in Gawker's groundbreaking legal trial against professional wrestler Hulk Hogan for publishing a portion of his sex tape. A Florida jury voted in favor of Hogan and awarded him $115 million, which bankrupted the company and torched my former life. But out of the ashes of that ordeal grew the Small Bow. If you like what we do, consider subscribing to our newsletter and joining our community. We publish essays, interviews and other musings on recovery, and have online recovery support meetings seven days a week. Sign up for the Small Bow newsletter & community at: http://www.thesmallbow.com IG: @smallbowmedia

  1. 3d ago

    I Spent My Sober Anniversary Avoiding a Video of Perez Hilton | Carey O’Donnell

    Carey O’Donnell celebrated 10 years of continuous sobriety on the same day Perez Hilton bloodied himself on TikTok Live. Perfect time to come on this show and talk about anniversaries, celebrities and the gnarlier side of addiction. Carey and I both experienced our darkest moments in New York and this episode is full of those memories: 42 minute train delays, yelling your opinion at book club and hoping no one notices, the shame of taking folded laundry back to the laundromat… Plus, hamburger costumes, peeing in elevators and spending hours at the DSW in Union Square. There’s a lot of gross stuff in this episode and also a lot of laughter. Here's Carey on Perez: https://careyodonnell.substack.com/p/pereznnial-horror 00:00:00 Early addiction chaos and Halloween memories 00:03:18 Reflecting on nostalgia and living in New York 00:05:30 Court cases, early recovery, and wild habits 00:10:37 Funny meth stories and extreme behavior 00:14:36 Unpacking viral pop culture media moments 00:18:23 Navigating ego, empathy, and public drama 00:22:18 Pandemic struggles and virtual meetings 00:26:18 Disaster benchmarks and fear of hangovers 00:30:39 The reality of messy lifestyle habits 00:35:05 Late nights, shameful moments, and growth 00:39:40 Sleep routines, career stress, and anxiety 00:43:30 Spiritual rock bottom and recommitting #CareyODonnell #12Step #AddictionStory #RelapseRecovery #SoberStories#Y2KInternet #PerezHIltonEssay #Deadspin #Gawker #WriterInterview #LongTermRecovery #RecoveryMonth Topics Carey O'Donnell on ten years of sobriety Transitioning from New York to Los Angeles Early recovery struggles and program chaos Unpacking viral media and pop culture drama Relapse experiences and dark summer phases The reality of chaotic lifestyle habits Overcoming isolation during the pandemic Facing spiritual rock bottom on Halloween Recommitting to 12-step recovery programs Finding peace, clarity, and personal growth New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098

    I Spent My Sober Anniversary Avoiding a Video of Perez Hilton | Carey O’Donnell

  2. Sep 2

    Tough Love Would Have Killed Me | Erin Khar on Parenting in Recovery

    This is an episode about parenting and recovery. How do I talk to my kids about my own story? How do I protect them from repeating my mistakes? How do I give them the feeling of safety that I didn’t have when I was young? What do I do if I recognize patterns of behavior in them, that I’ve tried to fix in myself? Erin Khar is a writer and advocate. She’s the author of the memoir Strung Out and the advice column Ask Erin. She’s thought a lot about these questions and I think she’s got a lot of smart things to say. We talk about the problem with “tough love,” the difficulty of not projecting onto your kids and how to model communication, not perfection. Oh, and accidentally becoming addicted to baseball cards. 00:00:00 Parenting in recovery and honest communication 00:05:00 Early warning signs and childhood anxiety 00:10:00 Separating parental trauma from your child's reality 00:15:00 Breaking intergenerational cycles of family guilt 00:20:00 Challenging tough love with compassionate boundaries 00:25:00 Overcoming shame and the fear of being seen 00:30:00 Processing maternal relationships and inherited pain 00:35:00 Early mental health struggles and childhood abuse 00:40:00 Addiction as emotional control rather than escape 00:45:00 Unresolved adolescent wounds and relationship patterns 00:50:00 Modeling imperfection and accepting parental flaws 00:55:00 Unconditional love and building safe environments #ErinKhar #ParentingSober #LongTermRecovery #EmotionalRegulation #BreakingCycles #ParentingTips #FamilyDynamics #RecoveryMonth #MentalHealth #EmpatheticParenting Topics: Parenting in recovery and emotional growth Inoculating children against trauma Giving up the illusion of parental control Separating your past from your child Open communication and building trust Breaking intergenerational family cycles Reframing addiction and mental health Emotional control versus escape mechanisms Modeling imperfection and vulnerability Creating safe environments for children September recovery month content New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098

    Tough Love Would Have Killed Me | Erin Khar on Parenting in Recovery

  3. Aug 26

    Tommy Rosen on the Alignment Between Yoga and 12-Step

    Sometimes I think I either want to join a cult or start a cult. Tommy Rosen definitely has cult leader charisma, but if you peel back that air of authority, you realize he’s just a guy that’s been seriously kicked around by life and arrived at a place where he wants to help as many people as possible. Tommy is the founder of Recovery 2.0, an organization that hosts Yoga-informed Recovery workshops and retreats all over the world. He’s helped me in private conversation and this episode is really practical — we talk about meditation techniques, prayers that work, what to do when your mom moves in with you and how to ease your 1 AM craving for Captain Crunch. Recovery 2.0 has programming every day during Recovery Month (which is September in case you didn’t know.) Check out their website for more info: https://r20.com/. 00:00:00 Defining baseline anxiety and portals to addiction 00:06:14 Navigating family triggers and setting healthier dynamics 00:12:22 The science of fun, movement, and daily routines 00:18:26 Transcending cultural influence and avoiding manipulation 00:24:36 Morning prayers, setting intentions, and spiritual practices 00:30:47 Shifting perspective on gratitude and finding beauty in presence 00:36:58 Building discipline, consistency, and devotion in life 00:43:02 Moving from simple abstinence to true recovery 00:49:12 Understanding codependency and healing the lost self 00:55:22 Overcoming ego attachment and accepting the present moment 01:01:32 Integrating meditation and yoga to change your mental state 01:07:42 Practical sleep strategies and breathwork for insomnia #TommyRosen #Recovery #TheSmallBow #AddictionRecovery #YogaInRecovery #12StepProgram #PracticalSpirituality #NervousSystemRegulation #SobrietyJourney #MindfulLiving Topics: Defining recovery beyond drug and alcohol addiction Addressing childhood roots of anxiety and fixations Applying yoga practices and principles to 12 steps Navigating societal influences and cultivating free thought Balancing personal recovery with ambition and platform Using daily prayer and devotion for grounded living Navigating the codependency portal in long-term sobriety Managing ego, public status, and financial backlash Utilizing yoga and breathwork for nervous system regulation Building sustainable discipline to transform daily habits New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098

    Tommy Rosen on the Alignment Between Yoga and 12-Step

  4. Aug 19

    How do I stay in the moment when my phone is addictive?

    This week, Kathryn Jezer-Morton joins the show to talk about emotional sobriety and the internet. Kathryn writes about digital culture and parenting for many publications, including her fantastic biweekly column for The Cut called “Brooding.” Her new book on social media is called The Story of Your Life. Emotional sobriety is this term that gets used to describe how we manage and regulate difficult emotions without our substance-of-choice. For me, the internet (and social media in particular) challenges my emotional sobriety on a regular basis. Luckily, I’ve got Kathryn to help me manage the temptations and pitfalls of being alive, online. Join us as we talk portals, friction-maxxing and meditation and try our best to go viral, without losing our way. 00:00:00 Self-promotion realities and writing for dad00:02:18 Defining emotional sobriety in the digital age00:04:03 Storytelling vs. social media in the story of your life00:05:30 Navigating self-promotion without getting lost00:10:15 Writing about social media vs. storytelling00:11:39 How photo sharing changed in the carousel era00:31:26 Entering uncomfortable rooms in recovery and writing00:35:55 Checking launch day book sales in the publisher portal00:37:00 Unlearning academic training and handling critiques00:38:53 Zooming in on personal history and commune childhoods00:50:30 The brand trap of crafting a public persona00:57:57 Writing without a master plan#KathrynJezerMorton #TheStoryOfYourLife #EmotionalSobriety #BroodingColumn #DigitalDetox #SocialMediaCulture #ScreenTimeBoundaries #ActiveGrieving #ParentingInTheDigitalAge #AuthorInterview #Sociology #Mindfulness Topics:Emotional sobriety in the digital age Managing your ego's inner bureaucrat The sickness of author self-promotion Why social media is like a drugBook launch reality and sales portals How grief enhances sensory noticing Escaping the New York media bubble Parenting rules for phone meditation Rejecting the redemption narrative Writing memoirs vs academic sociologyNew episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098

    How do I stay in the moment when my phone is addictive?

  5. Aug 12

    Latex, Throwing Bacon and Bad Corpse Makeup with Anna Holmes

    Anna Holmes could walk into any newsroom and immediately run the show. She created and ran Jezebel while I was at Gawker and her writing has appeared in The Atlantic, The New Yorker and The New York Times, where she formerly wrote the weekly “Work Friend” column for the Sunday Business Section. But as we discuss in this interview, she still struggles with feelings of inadequacy. In this conversation, we discuss Anna’s foray into dating apps and the ways that later-in-life sexual exploration helped her grieve both the death of her ex-husband and the loss of her mother, including the bizarre moment her Apple Watch recorded the moment of her mother’s death. Plus, rage bacon, corpse makeup and learning lessons from other peoples’ kids. Anna’s new book The Power of No is out September 15. 00:00:00 The Feeld App & Latex Story 00:04:15 Apple Watch Tracked Heart Rate During Loss 00:08:40 Writing the New Yorker Piece & Middle-Aged Celibacy 00:13:00 Processing Divorce & Ex-Husband’s Sudden Death 00:17:15 High Career Achievement vs Internal Insecurity 00:21:20 Facing Parental Illness & Emotional Avoidance 00:25:30 Grief, Family Tension, & Attending End-of-Life 00:30:00 Final Moments With Mom & The Physiology of Loss 00:34:30 The Apple Watch Alert at the Moment of Death 00:38:40 Holding Grudges, Resentment, & Anger at Self 00:43:00 Accessing Joy, Gratitude, & Curiosity 00:47:10 Overcoming Writer's Block & Writing The Power of No #AnnaHolmes #NYTWriter #Columnist #ThePowerOfNo #DatingInYour50s #WritingProcess #SelfDoubt #Jezebel #WorkFriend #ImposterSyndrome #Grief #DatingAfterLoss #Reinvention Topics: Living a double life in media Trashing 300 pages of a book High accomplishment vs low worth Unlearning adolescent insecurity Overcoming fear of being a phony Shame, divorce, and self-worth Breaking destructive habit loops Finding freedom through truth Navigating grief and tech data Cutting tethers and moving on New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098

    Latex, Throwing Bacon and Bad Corpse Makeup with Anna Holmes

  6. Aug 5

    God Can’t Help You Until You Get Out of the Way

    Queen Conny is 96 years old and not afraid to die. She gets angry, she holds onto grudges and she has no tolerance for liars. She’s also got 18 virtual reality boyfriends and killer style. She’s been sober for 48 years and while she hasn’t always loved AA, she credits it with changing her relationship with God. This is NOT a conversation about aging gracefully. It’s a conversation about getting older and accepting that even at 96, you may still yell at someone at the grocery store. 00:00:00 Connie Caruso is 96 years old, 48 years sober 00:04:10 Forgiving past relationships, letting go of grudges, and personal boundaries 00:08:05 Accepting love, and the power of recovery 00:12:30 Why pain is a teacher and navigating relationships 00:16:30 The practice of humility, staying useful, and accepting help 00:20:50 Dealing with a short temper, controlling impulsive rage 00:25:00 Reconnecting with faith, daily prayer, and releasing ego 00:29:15 Accepting physical limitations, and staying mentally active 00:33:30 12-step, sponsorship, and real honesty in recovery 00:37:45 Building emotional resilience and continuous growth 00:42:00 Spiritual surrender and learning to get out of God's way 00:46:15 Finding peace, gratitude, and lasting transformation #SpiritualSurrender #12StepWisdom #LongTermSobriety #OvercomingRage #AgingWithGrace #AcceptingLove #Gratitude #PainIsGood #TheSmallBow #ContinuousSobriety #48YearsSober Topics: Overcoming rage and impulsive anger 48 years of continuous sobriety Living without fear of death Forgiving past resentments Learning how pain is a teacher Finding spiritual surrender Managing aging and physical limits The practice of true humility Being of service in recovery Learning to like yourself New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098

    God Can’t Help You Until You Get Out of the Way

  7. Jul 29

    Opening the Doors on a Real Recovery Meeting

    This week on The Small Bow Podcast, you’re invited to join us for a Small Bow Meeting. A Small Bow Meeting is not a 12-step meeting, but we rip off most of their format. It is not necessary for participants to identify as an alcoholic or addict. This meeting is open to people who suffer from issues related to mental illness, drugs, love, sex, food, debt, codependency, inadequacy, or anything else that’s bringing you down. I want to extend a special note of thanks to everyone who participated in this meeting with the knowledge that their voice and likeness would be aired publicly, including our featured speaker, Emily Gould. Small Bow Meetings are typically anonymous, but today’s participants agreed, in the spirit of service, to share this meeting with you. Thanks to them, and thanks for being here. Small Bow Meetings happen seven days a week, over zoom. For info and to join, go to: www.thesmallbow.com/meetings 00:00:00 How non-denominational recovery works 00:03:16 Introducing guest speaker Emily Gould 00:08:09 Emily Gould on late-night scrolling, caffeine, and self-sabotage 00:22:21 Finding community when traditional 12-step isn't enough 00:28:30 Rebuilding self-worth and letting go of perfectionism 00:33:17 Learning to forgive yourself for past mistakes 00:35:31 Surviving public shame and quiet line-crossing 00:40:27 Reclaiming identity and daily peace after treatment 00:44:21 Vulnerability, fear of failure, and breaking isolation 00:51:33 Unlearning people pleasing and emotional defense mechanisms 01:00:29 Reflecting on 10 years of continuous sobriety 01:01:37 Closing the meeting with clear eyes and full hearts #EmilyGould #EMDRTherapy #EmotionalSobriety #Non12Step #SelfForgiveness #PublicShame #RecoveryMeeting #OpenMeeting #SpeakerMeeting #SoberCurious #AddictionRecovery Topics: The ""Being Sober"" Problem Emily Gould on EMDR Therapy Reframing Alcohol as a Solution Why Connection Cures Addiction Overcoming Public Shaming & Guilt Actionable Self-Forgiveness Tools Non-Denominational Recovery Rooms How EMDR Speed-Runs Trauma Emotional Sobriety Explained Healing After the Gawker Era New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098

    Opening the Doors on a Real Recovery Meeting

  8. Jul 22

    If You’re Searching For Heaven, Go Home | Swamp Dogg on the Afterlife

    Swamp Dogg is a country, soul and R&B singer, musician, songwriter and record producer. He has influenced multiple generations of musicians with his defiantly idiosyncratic discography and has been described by Pitchfork as one of “pop’s great cult acts.” He also happens to sing The Small Bow theme song. He stopped by the studio to discuss his long career, his lifelong search for happiness, and his new album Swamp Dogg Contemplates the Afterlife. I tried to get him to contemplate the afterlife in this conversation, but he wasn’t in the mood. That said, it’s always a pleasure to spend time with a true original— when you get in the room with Swamp Dogg, you never know where you’ll wind up. 00:00:00 Finding true happiness beyond material things 00:01:21 How a random email turned into a 12-year friendship 00:02:00 Behind the new album Swamp Dogg Contemplates the Afterlife 00:05:54 Personal views on God, heaven, and eternal punishment 00:07:26 The story behind writing the podcast theme song 00:09:26 Debunking the famous LSD origin story 00:10:58 Comparing music legends John Prine, Bob Dylan, and Bon Iver 00:13:42 The realities of touring and redefining true success 00:18:01 Facing a childhood curse and surviving past age 21 00:22:20 Learning to ask for help while living your dreams 00:25:39 Why cursing is a family tradition and catching up to Samuel L. Jackson 00:37:00 Clarifying the Jane Fonda movie rumors and future collaboration ideas #SwampDogg #TheAfterLife #NewAlbum #SoulMusicLegend #BonIverCollab IfYouKillItCookbook #AcidStory #MTVLegacy #RadicalThinker #ThoughtsOnGod #JaneFonda#SwampDoggContemplatesTheAfterlife Topics: Recording a new album The afterlife, God, heaven and hell Working with Bon Iver Loving John Prine's music Playing records for Bob Dylan Meeting Jane Fonda Reaching age 84 in the music industry Writing the podcast theme Performing at the Grammys Tour life and live success Redefining success as a star Publishing a cookbook New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098

    If You’re Searching For Heaven, Go Home | Swamp Dogg on the Afterlife
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About

Welcome to the Small Bow Podcast. I’m your host, A.J. Daulerio. This is a show about expanding the definition of recovery, where we talk to writers, entertainers, recovering addicts, recovering jerks, and even the occasional normal person — about their struggles with love, sex, money, loneliness, shame, grief, drugs, alcohol, ego, identity, fame, and other fun things. Whatever is bringing you down, you might find something here that you didn’t know you needed. In addition to this podcast, the Small Bow is also a newsletter and recovery community that I started in 2018 to chronicle my own path toward sobriety and sanity following multiple rehab stints and a very public ordeal in which I was a co-defendant in Gawker's groundbreaking legal trial against professional wrestler Hulk Hogan for publishing a portion of his sex tape. A Florida jury voted in favor of Hogan and awarded him $115 million, which bankrupted the company and torched my former life. But out of the ashes of that ordeal grew the Small Bow. If you like what we do, consider subscribing to our newsletter and joining our community. We publish essays, interviews and other musings on recovery, and have online recovery support meetings seven days a week. Sign up for the Small Bow newsletter & community at: http://www.thesmallbow.com IG: @smallbowmedia

Information

  • Creator
    thesmallbow.com
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    88
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    2024 The Small Bow © Any use of this intellectual property for text and data mining or computational analysis including as training material for artificial intelligence systems is strictly prohibited without express written consent from The Small Bow
  • Show Website
    The Small Bow Podcast