The Small Bow Podcast

thesmallbow.com
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Welcome to the Small Bow Podcast. I’m your host, A.J. Daulerio. This is a show about expanding the definition of recovery, where we talk to writers, entertainers, recovering addicts, recovering jerks, and even the occasional normal person — about their struggles with love, sex, money, loneliness, shame, grief, drugs, alcohol, ego, identity, fame, and other fun things. Whatever is bringing you down, you might find something here that you didn’t know you needed. In addition to this podcast, the Small Bow is also a newsletter and recovery community that I started in 2018 to chronicle my own path toward sobriety and sanity following multiple rehab stints and a very public ordeal in which I was a co-defendant in Gawker's groundbreaking legal trial against professional wrestler Hulk Hogan for publishing a portion of his sex tape. A Florida jury voted in favor of Hogan and awarded him $115 million, which bankrupted the company and torched my former life. But out of the ashes of that ordeal grew the Small Bow. If you like what we do, consider subscribing to our newsletter and joining our community. We publish essays, interviews and other musings on recovery, and have online recovery support meetings seven days a week. Sign up for the Small Bow newsletter & community at: http://www.thesmallbow.com IG: @smallbowmedia

  1. 5d ago

    I Was an Oddball Who Wanted to Be Loved | Rainn Wilson

    Rainn Wilson is best-known for his role as Dwight Schrute on The Office and his Soul Boom Podcast. He’s a serious, thoughtful guy who had the strange experience of becoming an international celebrity almost overnight. We talk about how the experience of sudden fame dovetailed with his addiction and how AA and a return to his Bahai faith have helped him to find his footing again. Plus, we discuss his recent OCD diagnosis, why he’s grateful for the worst box office bomb of his career and the strangest gift he’s received from a fan. 00:00:00 From childhood loneliness to an iconic TV role 00:04:44 Pushing past surface acting into deep character work 00:09:33 Finding gratitude in the wake of box office bombs 00:14:19 Navigating hollywood perception and true movie stardom 00:19:08 Confronting fame and the Dwight Schrute identity trap 00:23:56 Unpacking late onset OCD and mental hijacking 00:28:45 Rewiring danger centers through exposure response therapy 00:33:30 Anchoring recovery through daily bahai prayer 00:38:15 Overcoming workaholism, shame, and constant pressure 00:43:02 Navigating the line of healthy creative ambition 00:47:51 Evolving from actor to modern spiritual storyteller 00:52:39 Sharing personal stories to help others heal Topics: Unpacking late onset OCD and brain loops Using exposure response therapy for ocd Managing mental hijacking and anxiety Practicing daily surrender in 12 steps Strengthening recovery with bahai prayer Balancing creative ambition and work Overcoming workaholism and high pressure Decoding the illusion of hollywood fame Evolving from actor to modern storyteller Sharing personal stories to help heal #RainnWilson #SoulBoom #MentalHijacking #ExposureResponseTherapy #LateOnsetOCD #DailySurrender #CreativeAmbition #WorkaholismRecovery #HollywoodFame #BahaiPrayer #EmotionalSobriety #storytellerlife New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098

    I Was an Oddball Who Wanted to Be Loved | Rainn Wilson

  2. Sep 23

    Jim James on Relinquishing Control and Making Peace with Death

    Please Note: This episode discusses heavy themes, including suicide and mental health struggles. If you are experiencing distress, please utilize the free, confidential resources below. United States & Canada: Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. International: Find free, immediate support lines specific to your country at https://findahelpline.com If you are in the music industry, you can contact Backline: Call 855-BLINE99 or text 254-639 Please prioritize your well-being. Help is always available. Fans like me know Jim James as the lead singer, guitarist and songwriter of My Morning Jacket, as well as through his solo work. This week, Jim stops by the show to promote his new solo album Wowed Out and for a frank conversation about mental illness, his path to sobriety and how he copes when depression derails his day. We also talk about his experience with EMDR, parts work and psychedelic therapies, and why sleep is still a challenge for both of us. September is Recovery Month as well as Suicide Prevention Month, and I’m grateful to Jim for his candor in discussing all of the above. 00:00:00 Normalizing therapy and finding the right practitioner 00:04:44 Processing trauma with EMDR and parts work 00:09:33 Unlearning control issues to become a better collaborator 00:14:19 Overcoming toxic competition in the music industry 00:19:08 Shifting from aggressive ambition to collective gratitude 00:23:56 Sitting with depression and learning to accept dark emotions 00:28:45 Mental health hotlines and building personal support networks 00:33:30 Reframing suicidal ideation as a manageable health condition 00:38:15 Generational cycles and destigmatizing therapy for children 00:43:02 Navigating depressive episodes and responsibilities 00:47:51 Chronic sleep struggles and nighttime anxiety on tour 00:52:39 Letting go of creative outcomes and surrendering to the universe Topics: Shopping for the right therapist EMDR therapy, trauma healing, and parts work Genetic predisposition to high alcohol tolerance Sitting with depression daily and treating it with compassion Understanding mental illness & how to talk about it Overcoming industry competition Open dialogue on suicidal thoughts Crisis hotlines and learning to dialogue about depression Managing chronic insomnia and sharing sleep routines Releasing creative control and surrendering to universe #JimJames #MyMorningJacket #DepressionAwareness#AlcoholismRecovery #EMDRTherapy #MentalHealthMatters #SuicidePrevention #SelfCompassion #InsomniaRelief #MusicianMentalHealth New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098

    Jim James on Relinquishing Control and Making Peace with Death

  3. Sep 16

    Yassir Lester Doesn’t Want the Phone to Ring

    Have you ever jumped when the phone rings? Yassir Lester does it every time. The writer and comedian (Girls, Black Monday, The Carmichael Show) stops by for a conversation about anxiety, success, growing up poor and how to deal with the fear of surprise. Plus, we talk about why quitting drinking made him a better comedian and the fuzzy line between being courageous and being reckless. I could talk to Yassir for hours, this is a fun one. 00:00:00 Reverse imposter syndrome and industry self-doubt 00:05:33 Comparing test scores and overcoming appearance insecurities 00:10:48 Debt culture and finding creative satisfaction 00:16:08 Balancing business growth with artistic integrity 00:21:30 Driven by competition and the clarity of sobriety 00:26:55 Aiming for perfection while staying grounded through mistakes 00:32:25 Money mindsets and changing family perspectives 00:37:49 Breaking old habits through intense self-reflection 00:43:14 Facing sudden industry success and career shifts 00:48:38 Managing schedule anxiety and coping with bad news 00:54:02 Phone call anxiety and shifting mindset 00:59:26 Finding humor in uncertainty and unpredictable disasters Topics Balancing scale with creative ambition How sobriety improved Yassir's stand-up comedy Striving to be the best like Jordan Distinguishing bravery from recklessness The asymmetric risk model for artists Overcoming fear of failure and losing Why sincere apologies count as winning Trusting personal timing for success Anxiety around phone calls and fear Living in the present and not bracing for bad news #CreativeAmbition #AsymmetricRisk #SobrietyStory #StandUpComedy #AnxietyRelief #OverthinkingAndFear #MindsetShift #FinancialAnxiety #ArtAndCommerce #YassirLester #WriterInterview New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098

    Yassir Lester Doesn’t Want the Phone to Ring

  4. Sep 9

    I Spent My Sober Anniversary Avoiding a Video of Perez Hilton | Carey O’Donnell

    Carey O’Donnell celebrated 10 years of continuous sobriety on the same day Perez Hilton bloodied himself on TikTok Live. Perfect time to come on this show and talk about anniversaries, celebrities and the gnarlier side of addiction. Carey and I both experienced our darkest moments in New York and this episode is full of those memories: 42 minute train delays, yelling your opinion at book club and hoping no one notices, the shame of taking folded laundry back to the laundromat… Plus, hamburger costumes, peeing in elevators and spending hours at the DSW in Union Square. There’s a lot of gross stuff in this episode and also a lot of laughter. Here's Carey on Perez: https://careyodonnell.substack.com/p/pereznnial-horror 00:00:00 Early addiction chaos and Halloween memories 00:03:18 Reflecting on nostalgia and living in New York 00:05:30 Court cases, early recovery, and wild habits 00:10:37 Funny meth stories and extreme behavior 00:14:36 Unpacking viral pop culture media moments 00:18:23 Navigating ego, empathy, and public drama 00:22:18 Pandemic struggles and virtual meetings 00:26:18 Disaster benchmarks and fear of hangovers 00:30:39 The reality of messy lifestyle habits 00:35:05 Late nights, shameful moments, and growth 00:39:40 Sleep routines, career stress, and anxiety 00:43:30 Spiritual rock bottom and recommitting #CareyODonnell #12Step #AddictionStory #RelapseRecovery #SoberStories#Y2KInternet #PerezHIltonEssay #Deadspin #Gawker #WriterInterview #LongTermRecovery #RecoveryMonth Topics Carey O'Donnell on ten years of sobriety Transitioning from New York to Los Angeles Early recovery struggles and program chaos Unpacking viral media and pop culture drama Relapse experiences and dark summer phases The reality of chaotic lifestyle habits Overcoming isolation during the pandemic Facing spiritual rock bottom on Halloween Recommitting to 12-step recovery programs Finding peace, clarity, and personal growth New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098

    I Spent My Sober Anniversary Avoiding a Video of Perez Hilton | Carey O’Donnell

  5. Sep 2

    Tough Love Would Have Killed Me | Erin Khar on Parenting in Recovery

    This is an episode about parenting and recovery. How do I talk to my kids about my own story? How do I protect them from repeating my mistakes? How do I give them the feeling of safety that I didn’t have when I was young? What do I do if I recognize patterns of behavior in them, that I’ve tried to fix in myself? Erin Khar is a writer and advocate. She’s the author of the memoir Strung Out and the advice column Ask Erin. She’s thought a lot about these questions and I think she’s got a lot of smart things to say. We talk about the problem with “tough love,” the difficulty of not projecting onto your kids and how to model communication, not perfection. Oh, and accidentally becoming addicted to baseball cards. 00:00:00 Parenting in recovery and honest communication 00:05:00 Early warning signs and childhood anxiety 00:10:00 Separating parental trauma from your child's reality 00:15:00 Breaking intergenerational cycles of family guilt 00:20:00 Challenging tough love with compassionate boundaries 00:25:00 Overcoming shame and the fear of being seen 00:30:00 Processing maternal relationships and inherited pain 00:35:00 Early mental health struggles and childhood abuse 00:40:00 Addiction as emotional control rather than escape 00:45:00 Unresolved adolescent wounds and relationship patterns 00:50:00 Modeling imperfection and accepting parental flaws 00:55:00 Unconditional love and building safe environments #ErinKhar #ParentingSober #LongTermRecovery #EmotionalRegulation #BreakingCycles #ParentingTips #FamilyDynamics #RecoveryMonth #MentalHealth #EmpatheticParenting Topics: Parenting in recovery and emotional growth Inoculating children against trauma Giving up the illusion of parental control Separating your past from your child Open communication and building trust Breaking intergenerational family cycles Reframing addiction and mental health Emotional control versus escape mechanisms Modeling imperfection and vulnerability Creating safe environments for children September recovery month content New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098

    Tough Love Would Have Killed Me | Erin Khar on Parenting in Recovery

  6. Aug 26

    Tommy Rosen on the Alignment Between Yoga and 12-Step

    Sometimes I think I either want to join a cult or start a cult. Tommy Rosen definitely has cult leader charisma, but if you peel back that air of authority, you realize he’s just a guy that’s been seriously kicked around by life and arrived at a place where he wants to help as many people as possible. Tommy is the founder of Recovery 2.0, an organization that hosts Yoga-informed Recovery workshops and retreats all over the world. He’s helped me in private conversation and this episode is really practical — we talk about meditation techniques, prayers that work, what to do when your mom moves in with you and how to ease your 1 AM craving for Captain Crunch. Recovery 2.0 has programming every day during Recovery Month (which is September in case you didn’t know.) Check out their website for more info: https://r20.com/. 00:00:00 Defining baseline anxiety and portals to addiction 00:06:14 Navigating family triggers and setting healthier dynamics 00:12:22 The science of fun, movement, and daily routines 00:18:26 Transcending cultural influence and avoiding manipulation 00:24:36 Morning prayers, setting intentions, and spiritual practices 00:30:47 Shifting perspective on gratitude and finding beauty in presence 00:36:58 Building discipline, consistency, and devotion in life 00:43:02 Moving from simple abstinence to true recovery 00:49:12 Understanding codependency and healing the lost self 00:55:22 Overcoming ego attachment and accepting the present moment 01:01:32 Integrating meditation and yoga to change your mental state 01:07:42 Practical sleep strategies and breathwork for insomnia #TommyRosen #Recovery #TheSmallBow #AddictionRecovery #YogaInRecovery #12StepProgram #PracticalSpirituality #NervousSystemRegulation #SobrietyJourney #MindfulLiving Topics: Defining recovery beyond drug and alcohol addiction Addressing childhood roots of anxiety and fixations Applying yoga practices and principles to 12 steps Navigating societal influences and cultivating free thought Balancing personal recovery with ambition and platform Using daily prayer and devotion for grounded living Navigating the codependency portal in long-term sobriety Managing ego, public status, and financial backlash Utilizing yoga and breathwork for nervous system regulation Building sustainable discipline to transform daily habits New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098

    Tommy Rosen on the Alignment Between Yoga and 12-Step

  7. Aug 19

    How do I stay in the moment when my phone is addictive?

    This week, Kathryn Jezer-Morton joins the show to talk about emotional sobriety and the internet. Kathryn writes about digital culture and parenting for many publications, including her fantastic biweekly column for The Cut called “Brooding.” Her new book on social media is called The Story of Your Life. Emotional sobriety is this term that gets used to describe how we manage and regulate difficult emotions without our substance-of-choice. For me, the internet (and social media in particular) challenges my emotional sobriety on a regular basis. Luckily, I’ve got Kathryn to help me manage the temptations and pitfalls of being alive, online. Join us as we talk portals, friction-maxxing and meditation and try our best to go viral, without losing our way. 00:00:00 Self-promotion realities and writing for dad00:02:18 Defining emotional sobriety in the digital age00:04:03 Storytelling vs. social media in the story of your life00:05:30 Navigating self-promotion without getting lost00:10:15 Writing about social media vs. storytelling00:11:39 How photo sharing changed in the carousel era00:31:26 Entering uncomfortable rooms in recovery and writing00:35:55 Checking launch day book sales in the publisher portal00:37:00 Unlearning academic training and handling critiques00:38:53 Zooming in on personal history and commune childhoods00:50:30 The brand trap of crafting a public persona00:57:57 Writing without a master plan#KathrynJezerMorton #TheStoryOfYourLife #EmotionalSobriety #BroodingColumn #DigitalDetox #SocialMediaCulture #ScreenTimeBoundaries #ActiveGrieving #ParentingInTheDigitalAge #AuthorInterview #Sociology #Mindfulness Topics:Emotional sobriety in the digital age Managing your ego's inner bureaucrat The sickness of author self-promotion Why social media is like a drugBook launch reality and sales portals How grief enhances sensory noticing Escaping the New York media bubble Parenting rules for phone meditation Rejecting the redemption narrative Writing memoirs vs academic sociologyNew episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098

    How do I stay in the moment when my phone is addictive?

  8. Aug 12

    Latex, Throwing Bacon and Bad Corpse Makeup with Anna Holmes

    Anna Holmes could walk into any newsroom and immediately run the show. She created and ran Jezebel while I was at Gawker and her writing has appeared in The Atlantic, The New Yorker and The New York Times, where she formerly wrote the weekly “Work Friend” column for the Sunday Business Section. But as we discuss in this interview, she still struggles with feelings of inadequacy. In this conversation, we discuss Anna’s foray into dating apps and the ways that later-in-life sexual exploration helped her grieve both the death of her ex-husband and the loss of her mother, including the bizarre moment her Apple Watch recorded the moment of her mother’s death. Plus, rage bacon, corpse makeup and learning lessons from other peoples’ kids. Anna’s new book The Power of No is out September 15. 00:00:00 The Feeld App & Latex Story 00:04:15 Apple Watch Tracked Heart Rate During Loss 00:08:40 Writing the New Yorker Piece & Middle-Aged Celibacy 00:13:00 Processing Divorce & Ex-Husband’s Sudden Death 00:17:15 High Career Achievement vs Internal Insecurity 00:21:20 Facing Parental Illness & Emotional Avoidance 00:25:30 Grief, Family Tension, & Attending End-of-Life 00:30:00 Final Moments With Mom & The Physiology of Loss 00:34:30 The Apple Watch Alert at the Moment of Death 00:38:40 Holding Grudges, Resentment, & Anger at Self 00:43:00 Accessing Joy, Gratitude, & Curiosity 00:47:10 Overcoming Writer's Block & Writing The Power of No #AnnaHolmes #NYTWriter #Columnist #ThePowerOfNo #DatingInYour50s #WritingProcess #SelfDoubt #Jezebel #WorkFriend #ImposterSyndrome #Grief #DatingAfterLoss #Reinvention Topics: Living a double life in media Trashing 300 pages of a book High accomplishment vs low worth Unlearning adolescent insecurity Overcoming fear of being a phony Shame, divorce, and self-worth Breaking destructive habit loops Finding freedom through truth Navigating grief and tech data Cutting tethers and moving on New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098

    Latex, Throwing Bacon and Bad Corpse Makeup with Anna Holmes
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About

Welcome to the Small Bow Podcast. I’m your host, A.J. Daulerio. This is a show about expanding the definition of recovery, where we talk to writers, entertainers, recovering addicts, recovering jerks, and even the occasional normal person — about their struggles with love, sex, money, loneliness, shame, grief, drugs, alcohol, ego, identity, fame, and other fun things. Whatever is bringing you down, you might find something here that you didn’t know you needed. In addition to this podcast, the Small Bow is also a newsletter and recovery community that I started in 2018 to chronicle my own path toward sobriety and sanity following multiple rehab stints and a very public ordeal in which I was a co-defendant in Gawker's groundbreaking legal trial against professional wrestler Hulk Hogan for publishing a portion of his sex tape. A Florida jury voted in favor of Hogan and awarded him $115 million, which bankrupted the company and torched my former life. But out of the ashes of that ordeal grew the Small Bow. If you like what we do, consider subscribing to our newsletter and joining our community. We publish essays, interviews and other musings on recovery, and have online recovery support meetings seven days a week. Sign up for the Small Bow newsletter & community at: http://www.thesmallbow.com IG: @smallbowmedia

Information

  • Creator
    thesmallbow.com
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    91
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    2024 The Small Bow © Any use of this intellectual property for text and data mining or computational analysis including as training material for artificial intelligence systems is strictly prohibited without express written consent from The Small Bow
  • Show Website
    The Small Bow Podcast

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