20 THINGS ADOPTION PODCAST with Sherrie Eldridge

Copyright, @SherrieEldridge2025
  • 5.0 (3)
  • Parenting
  • Updated Monthly

Many adoptive, foster, stepmoms, and grandmothers are suffering in silence. No one in the world of adoption is giving them the tools for recovery. No one is teaching them how to handle adoptee pushback and rejection. No one is wrapping arms around them and praying when all they can do is cry. When moms realize the unknown depth of their child’s trauma, a common reaction is self-doubt. If she doesn’t know what happened, how can she find words to help her child process it? It’s terrifying, like climbing Everest without ropes. She's so self-doubting that she almost always concludes that she doesn't have what it takes to parent her child. Truth be known, she looks over the cliffs of depression more times than she'd care to admit. I’m a loser mom.I can’t self-regulate, let alone teach my child to do the same.I can’t attach with my child...and I never will have it.I am inept as a mom.I can’t even decide whether to have a peanut butter sandwich.I’m a mess.I don’t have what it takes.I’m a lousy mom.I hate myself.I’ll never be able to meet my child’s need for mothering.  The good news is that the dream can be reshaped, and in that painful space, God does His most sacred work by meeting us in our brokenness, holding our hearts, and gently replanting hope.   Stay tuned for upcoming podcasts and updates about my upcoming book. 

  1. May 9

    Adoptees Share the Honest Reality of Having Two Moms

    Send us Fan Mail Mother's Day is such a difficult day for everyone in the adoption triad. Adoptees, adoptive mothers, birth mothers, stepmothers, all kinds of mothers. It's a difficult day. And we're going to talk about this this morning. Today, Pam Kroske, my sidekick, and I are going to be doing a lot more podcasts. I apologize that It's taken us a while to get back to you, but thank you for following us on the last one. But Pam, Pam, tell us a little bit about you and how difficult you perceive this day to be. You say it so well. Well, I say it well. But, you know, having... Pam (00:49.72) What? Well, I don't know if I say it well. But you know, having two moms, I think, is always difficult. One of my moms isn't here anymore. She passed away from breast cancer, and it was way too soon. And then. Sherrie Eldridge (01:00.301) To moms, I think it's always difficult. One of my moms isn't here anymore. She passed away from breast cancer, and it was way too soon. And then my adoptive mother has dementia. So that's difficult. Very difficult. Yeah, yeah. So I think it's always been terrible, no matter what. Pam (01:19.694) My adoptive mother has dementia. So that's difficult. So yeah, yeah. So I think it's always been a struggle, no matter what. And trying to get both of them into my life all this time has been difficult. Sherrie Eldridge (01:38.477) And trying to get both of them to come into my life all this time has been difficult. Yes. So they always try to find warm memories, even if they're not with you. You try to find a warm memory? Is that what you said? Yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah. I think you try to find that good space. Yeah, that safe space. Well, yeah. Pam (01:44.973) So, you know, always try to find them even if they're not with you. Pam (01:54.314) Yeah, yeah, I think you try to find that good space. Pam (02:01.399) Yeah. Sherrie Eldridge (02:02.666) You know, what may adoptive moms experience? I've got pushback, rejection, and abandonment. Some of them, your kids won't even talk to you. They've just said, you know, I forgot you, you're out of my life. Yeah, rejection. What would be some examples of rejection? Pam (02:29.453) Well, you mean from... I mean... Sherrie Eldridge (02:29.728) Well, the meaning for any age adoptee can be. When we go searching, we don't always find what we want. Yeah. Mean, that part of our lives can be so difficult. I mean, we don't find every warm space we want. And it's Pam (02:36.813) Yeah, I mean, when we go searching, we don't always find what we want. I mean, that part of our lives can be so difficult. I mean, we don't find every warm space we want. It can be so difficult. And then we sit with that rejection. And then our adopted Sherrie Eldridge (02:57.9) It can be a service. And then we sit with that rejection. And then our adoptive moms aren't always, you know, good with that sourcing we did. So they have a little bit of rejection. And they're upset with us for that. So I don't know, like, it's almost like a hardness feeling. Pam (03:05.153) Moms aren't always good with that sourcing we did. So they have a bit of rejection, and they're upset with guys about it. So there's this, I don't know, like it's almost like a hardness feeling, and we all hurt. Yeah. Sherrie Eldridge (03:28.086) And we all hurt. Yeah. And so those three things, pushback, rejection, abandonment, we all have them, right? We've all got it. Yeah, and yet in the midst of all that, for an adoptee, I must say that, like you mentioned, reunion and, you know, searching and everything, I still find it. Pam (03:38.442) Yeah. yeah. Yeah. Pam (03:54.635) Right. Sherrie Eldridge (03:56.705) Very helpful to look back on my search because I found some very cool things, like, you know, I found out who the granddaughter of the doctor who delivered me was. All Rights Reserved.  @sherrieeldridge

    33 min

  2. May 8

    Navigating As A Trans-Racial Adoptee

    Send us Fan Mail All Rights Reserved.  @sherrieeldridge

    42 min

  3. Mar 17

    Isaac Etter Teaches About Trans-Racial Adoption & Parenting

    Send us Fan Mail All Rights Reserved.  @sherrieeldridge

    42 min

  4. Mar 5

    Strengths of Fellow-Adoptee Friendship, with Pam Kroskie

    Send us Fan Mail All Rights Reserved.  @sherrieeldridge

    27 min

  5. 06/22/2025

    Praying for the Wounded Child: A Conversation with Virginia Wells

    Send us Fan Mail In this episode, we sit down with Virginia Wells—author, licensed social worker, and adoptive mom—to explore the intersection of faith, adoption, and healing. Virginia shares wisdom from her powerful book Praying for a Wounded Child, offering real-life encouragement and deeply spiritual insights for parents navigating trauma, loss, and complex family journeys. Through personal stories, scriptural guidance, and practical tools like journaling and prayer, Virginia invites us to embrace God's presence in our brokenness and to discover healing for both ourselves and the children we love. Whether you're a parent, caregiver, or simply someone longing for hope, this episode is for you. Key Takeaways Purpose Revealed Through Play: Pay attention to what feels natural and joyful—this can reveal God's calling.God Is Enough: In pain and confusion, God's presence is steady, even when we can’t feel it.Prayer Doesn't Have to Be Perfect: Honest, simple prayers matter. Use Psalms or prayer books if you're stuck.Journaling Heals: Writing or drawing helps release emotions and clarify thoughts—for both adults and kids.Adoption Brings Complex Emotions: Kinship and trauma-related adoption require deep compassion and understanding.Gratitude Changes Perspective: Practicing thankfulness, even in crisis, brings peace and hope.Lean on Community: When you can't pray, reach out—prayer lines and supportive friends can carry you.Honesty Welcomes Healing: God values raw, real prayers over polished ones—He meets us in our truth.A Needed Resource: Virginia’s book fills a gap with faith-based prayers for parents of children from hard places.All Rights Reserved.  @sherrieeldridge

    27 min
  6. Speaking the Heart Language of Adopted and Foster Children

    05/28/2025

    Speaking the Heart Language of Adopted and Foster Children

    Send us Fan Mail In this heartfelt episode, adoption author Sherrie Eldridge shares deeply personal insights and practical advice for adoptive and foster parents seeking to connect with their children truly. Drawing from her book 20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed, Sherrie explores how well-intentioned words can be misinterpreted by adopted children—and offers better ways to communicate that honor both the child and their birth family. From reframing statements like “You were chosen” to understanding the primal wound of adoption, this episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to build stronger, more empathetic relationships within adoptive families. ✅ Key Takeaways: Abandonment is primal: Adopted and foster children often carry deep feelings of abandonment, no matter how young they were at the time of placement.Well-intentioned words can hurt: Phrases like “You were chosen” or “Your birth mom loved you so much she gave you away” may be misunderstood and cause emotional pain.Honor both families: Speaking respectfully about birth parents helps build a child’s sense of identity and self-worth.Speak the heart language: Use empathetic, shame-reducing language that acknowledges both the joy and grief of adoption.Create safety through honesty: Children who feel emotionally safe are more likely to open up about complicated feelings.🔗 Related Links: 20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed by Sherrie Eldridge View on AmazonForever Fingerprints: An Amazing Discovery for Adopted Children View on AmazonLittle Branch Gets Adopted View on AmazonSherrie Eldridge’s Adoption Blog  https://sherrieeldridgeadoption.bloghttps://familytofamilynetwork.org All Rights Reserved.  @sherrieeldridge

    18 min

  7. 05/22/2025

    Becoming Yourself in the Middle of Motherhood with Emma Fulenwider

    Send us Fan Mail On this episode, we sit down with Emma Fulenwider—author, literary agent, TEDx speaker, and mother navigating the complexities of modern parenting—to explore what it truly means to belong in a world full of pressure, perfectionism, and plastic toys. Emma shares her personal journey from being an "odd kid" who learned to mimic others to fit in, to rediscovering herself in her thirties by embracing authenticity. She opens up about the quiet crisis many moms face today: the loss of mentorship, the overwhelming culture of parenting schools of thought, and the isolating experience of raising kids in a world ruled by algorithms and Amazon wishlists. Most compellingly, Emma discusses her controversial but life-giving decision to remove almost all toys from her home—a move that not only reset her children’s creativity and well-being but also brought her own mental health back into balance. It's a bold conversation about motherhood, minimalism, and meaning in the digital age. Whether you're a parent, a writer, or just someone trying to find your place in the chaos, this episode offers both challenge and comfort. Key Takeaways: Authenticity Beats Assimilation Emma's journey reveals the cost of muting your uniqueness to fit in. After years of trying to be "normal," she found freedom in embracing who she truly is—and encourages others to do the same.Belonging Isn’t Sameness Real belonging, Emma says, comes not from being like everyone else but from being accepted as yourself. It's a powerful distinction for moms navigating identity, expectations, and community.Modern Motherhood Is Isolated Many mothers today lack real-time mentorship. Generational shifts, geographic distance, and career demands have disrupted the chain of caregiving wisdom that once passed naturally between women.Parenting Has Become Academic and Divisive From sleep training to screen time, today’s moms often choose parenting "schools of thought" and defend them like ideologies. This has made parenting feel more competitive and isolating than collaborative.Toys Aren’t Always Tools Emma’s decision to remove most toys from her home wasn’t just about clutter—it was about reclaiming creativity, space, and calm. The result? Better play, better sleep, better family dynamics. Kids Don't Need More Stuff—They Need More Space to Imagine With fewer distractions, children often become more independent, creative, and emotionally regulated. Emma’s own kids began playing deeper, longer, and more imaginatively without excess toys.Moms Need Support—Not Just More Advice From a “Target pit stop” fantasy to real talk about mental overload, Emma emphasizes that exhausted moms don't need another task. They need presence, compassion, and permission to rest.Instincts Are Learned Through Mentorship Emma challenges the myth of “mother’s instinct,” arguing that it’s not innate but built through experience and modeling—something many moms today are forced to do alone or via Google.Gift-Giving Can Be Reimagined Her work on gift guides and intentional consumption encourages parents to rethink the culture of materialism and choose gifts that are useful, creative, or consumable—rather than defaulting to toys.Storytelling Is Legacy Work Emma’s TED Talk and publishing work underscore the importance of preserving life stories—not just for reflection, but for generational wisdom. In a world with fewer shared dinners, writing becomes remembrance.https://www.wordserveliterary.com https://patreon.com/toyfree https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B09KVM4G5Q All Rights Reserved.  @sherrieeldridge

    32 min

  8. 04/29/2025

    When Love Isn’t Enough: Amy VanTine on Parenting Through RAD

    Send us Fan Mail In this deeply moving episode, Sherrie Eldridge welcomes Amy Vantine, a mother, educator, and co-founder of RAD Advocates, to share her harrowing and inspiring journey of parenting a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). From her early dreams of motherhood to the trauma, confusion, and eventual heartbreak of dissolving an adoption, Amy opens up about the realities few talk about—and the healing mission she’s now embraced to support other families walking a similar path. Key Takeaways: Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) Is Often Misunderstood: Children with RAD may appear well-behaved in public or clinical settings but exhibit severe behavioral challenges at home, leading to parental confusion and blame.Love Alone Isn’t Always Enough: Amy shared that her nurturing and affection, while well-intentioned, often triggered her daughter’s trauma response instead of helping, highlighting the unique complexities of RAD.Caregivers Are Frequently Unsupported—and Blamed: Many parents of children with RAD are dismissed or seen as the problem by professionals, intensifying their isolation and mental health strain.Parenting Children with RAD Can Severely Impact the Entire Family: Amy candidly described the toll on her marriage, her other children, and her own mental health, including PTSD, due to constant hypervigilance and emotional trauma.There’s No One-Size-Fits-All Therapy: Despite trying every recommended therapy and intervention, Amy found that conventional approaches failed, often making things worse rather than better.RAD Advocates Was Born Out of Necessity: Amy co-founded RAD Advocates to fill a critical gap, offering tailored support to families, educating professionals, and advocating for systemic change.It’s Okay to Make Hard Decisions: Ultimately, Amy made the painful decision to dissolve the adoption to protect her daughter, her family, and herself—a choice many struggle to understand or talk about.Empowering Parents Is Key to Helping Children: RAD Advocates focuses on parent well-being first, believing that healthy, informed caregivers are the foundation for better outcomes.All Rights Reserved.  @sherrieeldridge

    39 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
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About

Many adoptive, foster, stepmoms, and grandmothers are suffering in silence. No one in the world of adoption is giving them the tools for recovery. No one is teaching them how to handle adoptee pushback and rejection. No one is wrapping arms around them and praying when all they can do is cry. When moms realize the unknown depth of their child’s trauma, a common reaction is self-doubt. If she doesn’t know what happened, how can she find words to help her child process it? It’s terrifying, like climbing Everest without ropes. She's so self-doubting that she almost always concludes that she doesn't have what it takes to parent her child. Truth be known, she looks over the cliffs of depression more times than she'd care to admit. I’m a loser mom.I can’t self-regulate, let alone teach my child to do the same.I can’t attach with my child...and I never will have it.I am inept as a mom.I can’t even decide whether to have a peanut butter sandwich.I’m a mess.I don’t have what it takes.I’m a lousy mom.I hate myself.I’ll never be able to meet my child’s need for mothering.  The good news is that the dream can be reshaped, and in that painful space, God does His most sacred work by meeting us in our brokenness, holding our hearts, and gently replanting hope.   Stay tuned for upcoming podcasts and updates about my upcoming book. 

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