” I am finished with this trying to figure it out on my own. I am tired of not being able to find the answers.” An episode of “The He(art) and Science of Transformation” series on the Renew Your Mind podcast. I reached a point where I had to admit that I was tired of not finding answers and exhausted from trying to be the “strong, supportive, courageous one” for everyone else. In this episode, we explore the mental architecture that keeps us stuck and the specific moment of transformation that shifted me from a state of powerless grief to a life of abundant grace. Admitting you don’t have all the answers is the first step toward healing. I call it “Self-sourcing”. It is the the exhausting hustle of trying to manage life through your own strength rather than living out of the grace of God. I’ve discovered self-sourcing is born out of fear. It’s that voice that says, ‘No one is coming to my rescue, so I’ll have to protect myself.’ Oh, we don’t think that’s what it is. In fact, we call it self-sufficiency and resilience, and being low-maintenance. And for many, especially women who have endured some soft of life-altering trauma or experience like death, betrayal, or abandonment, it becomes the fuel we burn to simply make it through the day. But at night, when no one is around, we define “the truth”; we feel alone and vulnerable. These thoughts and responses are born out of the mental filter we have created throughout our entire life; usually beginning at about age 4. I call it The Reasoning Box. And in our safe Reasoning Box, our brain has created meaning out of our life experiences. And these filters dictate our responses. Science calls it homeostasis: the mechanism which maintains balance. Our experiences create a mental filter that dictates our responses. Our brain uses homeostasis to keep us “safe,” even if our current normal is dark or disturbing. “This, this, and this happened before, and it meant this, so when something feels the same, it must mean that, too.” Maybe you had a disapproving family member or teacher, and their comments caused you to feel that no matter what you did, you were never good enough. Now, as an adult, any form of critique feels like criticism, and you respond by retreating or retaliating. (Whatever your life experience has shown you to do.) And without some kind of intervention, we will continue to respond and react the same way, without even knowing why. I call that process of intervention, The Revelation Switch. And it isn’t about just getting more information from Google, or Bing, or Chat. Because information will never create transformation. Natural thought processes cannot give us the victory we hunger for. Scripture tells us that without revelation we will perish. And that revelation switch is flipped when we trade our routine, practiced, and life-make-sense beliefs for a renewed mind. We all come to a point when we must choose what kind of life we will live. We can stay in autopilot and at the end of our days feel like we’ve missed it all. Or, we can choose to let the power of God’s word and life clear out the garbage and live. What choice will you make? Timestamps[00:00] – Admitting the exhaustion of trying to be the “strong one”.[03:37] – Identifying the struggle of trying to find your own answers.[04:12] – How your brain keeps you stuck in dark places.[12:37] – The prayer: “God, why am I believing what is hurting me?”.[15:41] – The “Kitchen Moment”: Choosing to live after loss. Resources for the JourneyBooks: https://DonnaWoolam.com/BooksLearn More: https://DonnaWoolam.comSupport Donna: https://buymeacoffee.com/donnawoolam The content provided in this podcast is for educational and spiritual enrichment purposes as part of my work as an Author and Teacher. This series is not a substitute for professional counseling or medical advice, and I no longer offer one-on-one coaching services.
