The Fatherhood Challenge Podcast & Radio Program

Jonathan Guerrero
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The Fatherhood Challenge is a movement dedicated to encouraging fathers to engage with their children and educate society on the positive impact involved fathers have on their communities and society from generation to generation.

  1. The First Line of Defense

    3D AGO

    The First Line of Defense

    Child sexual abuse is the conversation every father wants to avoid because the mere thought of it is paralyzing. But here is the hard truth: Silence is the predator’s greatest ally. Our discomfort is their opportunity. To be the true 'Sentinel' of our homes, we have to be willing to look at the 'unthinkable' so that we can prevent the 'irreparable.' and that’s exactly what we’re going to talk about in this episode. Veronica Thompson is a leading voice in trauma-informed, faith-based advocacy. She doesn't just talk about the statistics; she provides a blueprint for dads to build a culture of safety, to recognize the subtle 'grooming' behaviors that others might miss, and to know exactly how to lead if the worst-case scenario is suspected. Find the books Veronica mentioned in this episode here: https://linktr.ee/thefatherhoodchallenge Website: https://www.veronicathompson.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61586131773904 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/veronicathompsonlcsw/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/veronica-thompson-lcsw-4509464/ Special thanks to Smile Online Course & Books for sponsoring this episode. To learn more visit: https://thefatherhoodchallenge--smileteenskills.thrivecart.com/social-career-skills-accelerator/ Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr https://zencastr.com/?via=thefatherhoodchallenge 00:03.32 Jonathan Guerrero As fathers, we are hardwired to be protectors. If a physical intruder broke into our homes tonight, most of us wouldn't hesitate to put our lives on the line to stand between that threat and our children. 00:16.31 Jonathan Guerrero We lock our doors, we check the windows, and we stay vigilant against the dangers that we can see. But there is a threat that often bypasses the looks of the the locks and the windows. 00:26.80 Veronica Thank 00:29.04 Jonathan Guerrero It's a threat that thrives in the shadows, in the silence, and painfully, often within the circles of trust that we believe are safe. 00:40.60 Jonathan Guerrero Child sexual abuse is the is the conversation every father wants to avoid because the mere thought of it is actually paralyzing. But here's the hard truth. Silence is the predator's greatest ally. 00:54.36 Jonathan Guerrero Our discomfort is their opportunity and their strength. To be the true sentinel of our homes, we have to be willing to look at the unthinkable so that we can prevent the ear so that we can prevent the irreparable. And that's exactly what we're going to do in just a moment. So don't go anywhere. 01:16.07 Jonathan Guerrero Greetings, everyone. Thank you so much for joining me in this episode called The First Line of Defense. And joining me is my guest, Veronica Thompson. Veronica is the leading voice in trauma-informed faith-based advocacy. She doesn't just talk about the statistics. She provides a blueprint for dads to build a culture of safety, to recognize the subtle grooming behaviors that often others might miss, and how to know exactly how to lead if the worst-case scenario is suspected. verona Veronica, thank you so much for being on the Fatherhood Challenge. 01:52.18 Veronica Thank you, Jonathan, for having me. I'm really excited to to talk to you and to have a conversation about how dads can support their families and their children and and keep them safe from from individuals who would like to harm them. 02:06.17 Jonathan Guerrero This really, really is a heavy lift for many men. For the dad who is listening right now and feels that immediate tightness in his chest just hearing this topic or is checking that his gun is somewhere nearby, why is his emotional presence and awareness actually the most powerful defensive weapon? 02:26.30 Veronica Yes, um and his presence most certainly is the most powerful defensive weapon. So first for that dad, I just want to say take a breath with me. Just, um you know, kind of breathe in um and take a slow breath out and exhale because It is understandable that just the mere idea of your child being sexually abused just raises up really strong defenses. 02:53.82 Veronica um But one of the things that I think a lot of dads, um what they want to do is they want to make it clear to their families, to their wives and their children, that they're there for them and they're going to defend them and that that if anyone tries to harm them, there are going to be huge consequences. 03:14.68 Veronica um And I know that that comes from a a loving place in the heart of a father. The thing about it, though, is that um I've worked with survivors and families for a very long time. 03:28.34 Veronica And one of the most common things that I hear is, I was afraid to tell my dad because I was afraid he would kill the perpetrator. I was afraid he was going to um just not be able to handle it and that something really bad was going to happen. 03:43.86 Veronica And so, again, that is a very understandable um emotional reaction to have that, you know, if somebody harms my child, there's going to be severe consequences. 03:55.86 Veronica um But that's why, you know, it's important to take a breath and to say, ah we We know we have these instincts to protect, and so what we're going to do when we engage in spiritual warfare is we're going to refer to what the Bible tells us to do. 04:13.94 Veronica um And the Bible tells us a a lot of things that are um that are really important for dads who want to protect their children. First of all, you are 100% correct that the the dad's presence is so important. 04:30.17 Veronica um one of the things that perpetrators ah look for are vulnerable children. So... um Perpetrators don't want to get caught, so so we're going to start there. 04:45.46 Veronica And maybe we can talk about this at some point um later, but there is a ah grooming process that almost always occurs. And in that grooming process, the first step is to target the victim. So they find a child and they they set their focus on that child as the child that they're going to to target to abuse. 05:07.45 Veronica um And one of the things that the perpetrator looks for, and the research tells us this, is a child who doesn't have, who they feel that they can manipulate the father in some way. 05:20.18 Veronica Now, if you are a father out there and your child has been abused, please do not take that as um as any condemnation or that you've done something wrong. what we're What we're doing as a community, a Christian community, is we're coming together to say, let's look at what's happening. Let's look at how these perpetrators are grooming families and communities um and so that we can push back. 05:46.33 Veronica And so one of the things that perpetrators look for are are dads who might... um be very strong where they feel like they can come in there and abuse the child and the child is going to be afraid to tell the parents because the parents are so protective. And so what you said before about the presence being the most important thing, I think when, for dads who really want to set that safety in the relationship, the safety is i can handle it if you tell me that somebody has harmed you. 06:21.42 Veronica i'll I'm going to be able to handle it and I'm going to be able to handle it in a way that isn't scary for you. And so one of the things that, you know, I'm a survivor of child sexual abuse. And I remember the first time um my mom found out, she had a ah very strong emotional reaction. And she was, you know, 06:44.06 Veronica And this is really understandable because it's such a it's such an assault on a parent to hear something like this has happened. But she was so angry, she punched the wall and she said, I'm not going to tell your dad. He would be he would freak out. and so But I think it's important for parents to realize the position that that puts the child in. Then they the the child can can misunderstand that to be... 07:09.66 Veronica oh my goodness, um I don't want to upset my parents. And so when we have conversations with our our kids about about potentially or about how do they can protect themselves, the most important um the most important tone to set with your child is... 07:30.68 Veronica Hey, there are bad things out there that happen. There are people who do harm children. And I want you to know that if that ever happens, it's okay. You don't have to be afraid. 07:42.36 Veronica Mom and dad can handle it. And if a child is discovered to be abused. to to address that in the moment in the calmest manner possible, and then once the child is separated, then to engage in the process of justice-seeking, which, you know, um i doesn't come from ah physical violence or or harming the perpetrator, it comes through the justice system. 08:08.15 Veronica And we do have a justice system that is based on Christian principles. And so I think, you know, Christian dads should feel really good about that, that we are seeking truth, that we're seeking justice for victims, and that the the point of our justice system is to separate predators so that they cannot harm children. And that that process, when it's played out well, is the most healing um process that the the survivor can go through after abuse has taken place. 08:37.65 Jonathan Guerrero I just want to add one thing to that, you know, and and I get that instinct. If you found out that your child was abused sexually, the very first thing you're going to want to do is go for your gun. 08:50.12 Jonathan Guerrero And especially if you suspect that it's actively happening and you just want to end it as an end the person. 08:50.88 Veronica Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 08:57.12 Jonathan Guerrero I totally, totally get that instinct. And the logic behind it makes every bit of sense, except one thing. If it's happened, The one thing that your child needs the most is your presence, your physical strong presence. 09:16.01 Jonathan Guerrero And you can't do that behind bars. And that's exactly the way it's goin

    28 min
  2. The Blueprint & The Mundane

    4D AGO

    The Blueprint & The Mundane

    In this episode we’re talking about moving from 'Passive Spectator' to 'Lead Architect.' We are diving into a movement that treats fatherhood with the same level of intentionality as a high-stakes professional venture. We will explore how to close the 'engagement gap' and build a relationship with our children that is rooted in more than just shared DNA. Joining us is Jon Hord, the founder of The Engaged Father Project. Jon is on a mission to help men reclaim their place at the center of their families, providing the tools and the blueprints necessary to build a lasting legacy. To learn more about The Engaged Father Project or get coaching visit: https://theengagedfatherproject.com/ Join me, Jon and The Engaged Fatherhood Project community on school at: https://www.skool.com/the-engaged-father-project-9143/about Special thanks to Smile Online Course & Books for sponsoring this episode. To learn more visit: https://thefatherhoodchallenge--smileteenskills.thrivecart.com/social-career-skills-accelerator/ Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr https://zencastr.com/?via=thefatherhoodchallenge 00:06.52 Jonathan Guerrero In the world of business, we wouldn't dream of launching a major initiative without a blueprint, a strategy, and a dedicated team. We track our metrics. We pivot when things aren't working and we stay engaged until the project is a success. 00:22.04 Jonathan Guerrero But for many of us, when we walk through our own front doors at the end of a long day, we go on autopilot. We become present absent dads physically in the room, but mentally we're elsewhere. 00:36.82 Jonathan Guerrero We've mastered the art of being a provider, but we've forgotten the art of being a participant. Fatherhood isn't something that should just happen to us. It's a role that requires our best thinking, our highest energy, and a relentless commitment to showing up, not just for the big moments, but for the messy, quiet, and mundane ones in between. 00:59.83 Jonathan Guerrero Today, we're talking about moving from a passive spectator to a lead architect. We are diving into a movement into a movement that treats fatherhood with the same level of intentionality as high-stakes professional ventures. 01:15.26 Jonathan Guerrero We will explore how the engagement gap, we will explore the engagement gap and build a relationship with our children that is rooted in more than just shared DNA. And we're going to explore all of this in just a moment, so don't go anywhere. 01:31.88 Jonathan Guerrero Greetings, everyone. Thank you so much for joining me. Thank you so much for joining me. And also joining us is John Horde. John is the founder of the Engage Father Project. 01:42.74 Jonathan Guerrero John is on a mission to help men reclaim their place at the center of their families, providing the tools and the blueprints necessary to build a lasting legacy. 01:53.46 Jonathan Guerrero John, welcome to the Fatherhood Challenge. 01:55.99 Jon Hord ah Thank you so much for having me on, Jonathan. I do appreciate it. 02:00.28 Jonathan Guerrero John, i got to ask, what is your favorite dad joke? 02:06.20 Jon Hord um Okay, here goes. What do you call a fish that wears bow tie? 02:12.69 Jonathan Guerrero What do you call a fish that wears a bow ti I've never heard this one. 02:18.03 Jon Hord Sophisticated. Okay. 02:19.77 Jonathan Guerrero love this one. 02:23.99 Jonathan Guerrero love this one 02:30.78 Jonathan Guerrero So good. 02:31.86 Jon Hord Yeah. 02:33.73 Jonathan Guerrero Now I got to share this one with my son. 02:38.01 Jonathan Guerrero Well, John, what is the story behind why and how you started the Engage Father Project? 02:46.58 Jon Hord Well, i i worked um in a corporate job for about 20 years. It was like 18 and a half years. And I was on this path that so many people are familiar with, right? It was sort of that American dream path. you know Go to school and get good grades and go to college and get a job and make a good living, start a family, get promoted, 03:11.77 Jon Hord make as much money as you can and then retire. Right. It was that it was on that track and, you know, had some kids, two kids along the way. And I got to a point where, you know, the material boxes were being checked. Right. 03:30.74 Jon Hord And it was like, well, I should feel really happy and fulfilled, right? Because I've been working for so long to get to this point. It was like I was running toward a finish line or like, you know, running on a rainbow looking for that pot of gold. And I got to the end where it's like, well, it should be here, right? 03:49.08 Jon Hord And not only was it not there, But my life was filled with more stress and more anxiety than I'd ever been experiencing. And it was significantly affecting, you know, not only me, but my ability to be the husband that I wanted to be for my wife and the father that I wanted to be for my kids. And so it was this really painful and jarring experience. 04:16.54 Jon Hord moment or really I refer to it now as an opportunity as hard as it was i wouldn't give that that moment in time or that crisis or whatever label you want to put on it I wouldn't give it back for anything because it allowed me to basically kind of push pause, pick my head up, look around and ask myself, like is this is this the life that i want to continue to lead? Because the the path I was on was incredibly secure. um Worked for a company, like over 600 employees. 04:52.02 Jon Hord A hundred year old business, family, privately owned. um I started there part time and made my way up to vice president. I was going on trips with the chairman of the company. like it was yeah It was as secure as anything could be. And for a long time, like I was chasing security. I thought that would make me really feel fulfilled. 05:12.82 Jon Hord And I just was able to see that it's, that wasn't the life that I wanted to continue to lead. And so I made a huge change and I left that job. I went and got certified as a life coach and then started the engaged father project. 05:30.58 Jon Hord And with the help of some really incredible people, um there's actually a really interesting story with how the idea for the engaged father project came to be. So, 05:41.28 Jonathan Guerrero I'd love to hear that. What what is the story behind that? 05:45.14 Jon Hord So this, the life coaching certification program that I went through was really intensive and transformational. It was about a 10 month process and you do a ton of work on yourself and then you kind of learn how to be a coach and how to help other people. And it was going through the transformative part of that process was, was literally life changing for me. And so um i get my certification and I'm calling myself a success coach at that point. And I want to help people, you know, not defer happiness until retirement. Right. Like if you're working toward all these things and you have these goals and how you want life to be like, let's not just wait until you're 65 or 68 to get that. Let's figure out ways that you can feel that way earlier on in life. And that was the path that I was going down. And I had some clients and it was starting to work. 06:37.91 Jon Hord But one of my peers um out of the blue, one of the one of the people that I went through this coaching certification program with, and I was very close with them, they sent me an email. 06:48.38 Jon Hord And they said, hey, John, I was vacuuming. And I had a thought that I'd like to share with you if you're open to hearing it. And I really trusted this person. And so I said, yeah, of course. And so we jumped on a call. 07:02.04 Jon Hord And she proceeds to tell me this idea. And she said, John, we spent so much time together sharing like really deep and honest and vulnerable things about ourselves. 07:14.94 Jon Hord And all along the way, you kept talking about how you wanted to improve yourself and it was for the benefit of your kids. And she's like, I don't know if you realized that common theme, but I heard it the entire time. 07:31.32 Jon Hord And she's like, I think you would be really good at helping other dads do this same type of work. And the rest is history. 07:42.71 Jon Hord i i I pivoted and I said, this is, she's right. This is the thing. It was like a, it was a lightning bolt moment where the clarity was just there. And I, and I knew, and it basically, i i tell people now that I have found my calling. It's like, I was a puzzle. ah I was a puzzle piece and i found myself. 08:08.22 Jon Hord the shape that matches me. And now the puzzle piece is in the slot. 08:13.54 Jonathan Guerrero Isn't that so cool when you finally first you figure out your identity, who you are, and then you figure out your purpose in life. And that's what lights you up. And that's what gets you out of bed in the morning. You know what you're supposed to be doing and you're excited to do it. 08:30.62 Jonathan Guerrero And you know that you're the one that's supposed to do that specific task that no one else is suited for it like you are. 08:41.62 Jonathan Guerrero And your life experience has been shaping you to fit that piece. 08:48.92 Jon Hord yeah it's ah It's remarkable, honestly. um It feels completely different than anything else that I've done in my life. And you know I keep getting very regular reminders in a good way where it's like, you are amazing. 09:05.94 Jon Hord right where you need to be. And to to have that sense of realization, yeah, like it just um it's like I've got an unlimited battery to just keep going down this path because I know this is what I'm supposed to be doing. And every time i have an interaction or I just hear a story from one of these fathers that I've worked with and they talk about the difference that they're making at home and with their families, like, um, it just, it puts me over the moon. 09:38.49 Jon Hord It's, it's, it's priceless. And, um, I had that happen, um,

    29 min
  3. Twice a Father

    FEB 15

    Twice a Father

    In this episode, we are talking about the 'grandfamilies'—the men who are doing it all over again, with more gray hair but also with a much deeper perspective on what actually matters. Joining us is Jerry Culver, a man who understands the grit and the grace required for this specific calling because he is on second watch as we call it. If you're raising your grandkids as Jerry is, he wants you to know you're not alone. Special thanks to Smile Online Course & Books for sponsoring this episode. To learn more visit: https://thefatherhoodchallenge--smileteenskills.thrivecart.com/social-career-skills-accelerator/ Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr https://zencastr.com/?via=thefatherhoodchallenge Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/thefatherhoodchallengepodcast/donations

    29 min
  4. The Silent Crisis

    FEB 11

    The Silent Crisis

    If you're a new dad and you’ve been feeling like a stranger in your own home, or if the joy you expected has been replaced by a heavy, silent struggle, this episode is for you. You aren't a 'bad dad,' and you aren't weak. You are navigating a massive neurological, hormonal, and lifestyle shift that no one warned you about. There is hope and there are answers. Dr. Shoshannah Guerrero has her PhD. in Marriage and Family Therapy and Dr Rachael Schmitz is the sole author for her first publication within the American Journal of Nursing on her dissertation work, the lived experience of fathers with paternal postpartum depression. You can contact Dr Schmitz at rschmitz@coastal.edu You can reach Dr. Guerrero at sguerrero.lmft@gmail.com Special thanks to Smile Online Course & Books for sponsoring this episode. To learn more visit: https://thefatherhoodchallenge--smileteenskills.thrivecart.com/social-career-skills-accelerator/ Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr https://zencastr.com/?via=thefatherhoodchallenge 00:05.55 Jonathan Guerrero We've all seen the commercials. the new The new dad glowing with pride, effortlessly rocking and a sleeping infant while his life... while his life feels perfectly in sync. 00:16.89 Jonathan Guerrero But for many men, the reality of the new fatherhood looks and feels very different. Instead of a glow, there's a fog. Instead of instant connection, there's a crushing sense of isolation, irritability, or the feeling that you're falling ah that you're failing a task, that you're failing a test that you didn't even know you were taking. 00:38.55 Jonathan Guerrero In our culture, we expect dads to be the rock. We are told to man up, to support the mother, to bury our own struggles under the weight of provision. But the data tells us a different story. 00:50.74 Jonathan Guerrero One in 10 fathers will experience paternal postpartum depression. And yet, because it often shows up as anger or withdrawal rather than sadness, it goes undiagnosed and untreated. 01:04.73 Jonathan Guerrero If you've been feeling like a stranger in your own home, or if the joy you expected has been replaced by a heavy, silent struggle, this episode is for you. You aren't a bad dad, and you aren't weak. 01:18.45 Jonathan Guerrero You are navigating a massive neurological, hormonal, and lifestyle shift that no one warned you about. There is hope, and there are answers in just a moment, so don't go anywhere. 01:33.18 Jonathan Guerrero Greetings, everyone. Thank you so much for joining me in this episode called The Silent Crisis. I have two guests with me. My wife, Dr. Shoshana Guerrero, who has her PhD in marriage and family therapy, and Dr. Rachel Schmitz, the sole author of her first publication within the American Journal of Nursing on her dissertation work, The Lived Experience of Fathers with Paternal Postpartum Depression. 01:59.06 Jonathan Guerrero Welcome to the Fatherhood Challenge. 02:01.75 Rachael Schmitz  Thank you. 02:03.06 Jonathan Guerrero Thanks so much. So let's talk about, Rachel, let's start with you. You've noted that for men, depression is often, it often looks like sadness. 02:13.88 Jonathan Guerrero It looks like a short fuse sometimes. Why does the male brain often funnel emotional pain into irritability or rage? And how can a dad tell the difference between new parent stress and clinical postpartum depression? Yeah. 02:30.39 Rachael Schmitz  So for fathers, um they don't often manifest in the ways that we think about when we think about depression. Most people, when you talk to them about depression, they think about sadness, crying, a lot of those very typical depressive type symptoms. In fathers, they can manifest in very different ways, like you said. The reason behind that I found in my study was that a lot of the men felt very isolated. 03:01.85 Rachael Schmitz  They felt very confused. They felt very frustrated by the um transition. They didn't really feel prepared. um a lot of them felt very helpless. 03:14.07 Rachael Schmitz  um So a lot of different things happening at the same time, causing a lot of those different symptoms. And for some of the fathers in particular, they um identified the depression because they were so irritable or they started being very angry in situations that would not normally make them very angry. 03:40.31 Jonathan Guerrero Interesting. So they did they recognize that even they basically recognize this even in themselves, they could tell when those symptoms were coming on. 03:50.01 Rachael Schmitz  They did, and oftentimes it was their partner that just said, you know, I noticed that you are not really yourself. ah Maybe you're isolating a little bit. 04:03.29 Rachael Schmitz  um So a lot of their partners did recognize some changes, whether they were able to kind of pinpoint what exactly was going on um kind of depended on the relationship. But most of the, uh, 04:20.14 Rachael Schmitz  partners did notice that something was happening. 04:25.40 Jonathan Guerrero Many dads feel a deep sense of guilt because they don't have that instant bond with their baby. How does paternal postpartum depression interfere with the bonding process? And what do you say to the dad who feels like a monster because he doesn't feel anything at all? 04:43.64 Rachael Schmitz  So that's really common. Unfortunately, the depressive symptoms, the impact of those symptoms really do take away from that new role. um And just having those episodes of irritability or anger or rage can cause somebody to feel embarrassed by how they're behaving or how they feel, especially when on the surface, um everybody else is joyful and happy with the situation. So that brings a whole new level of shame or disappointment. to a situation when the perception is you're supposed to be really happy. And if you're not, that seems really confusing. 05:28.38 Jonathan Guerrero The scary thing is even as we're talking about this, I recognize some of those symptoms myself because I could, I could feel some of those very same things, which is, well, basically nothing at all. 05:39.62 Jonathan Guerrero That's why it sounds familiar. And I often wondered as I discovered those symptoms were actual symptoms of something. I often wonder like how many other dads felt the exact same thing. And then on top of that, were aware and felt guilty for it. 05:55.77 Rachael Schmitz  Right. 05:56.02 Jonathan Guerrero So that's really fascinating. 05:57.69 Rachael Schmitz  Right. And a lot of lot of differences um just sociology-wise. You know, girls are raised to have baby dolls that they kind of carry around. They change them. They feed them. They're intentionally given things to kind of groom them in that way, so to speak, where boys are not given those same thing, toys to play with. And so some of it is just when they become a father, they don't really have that frame of reference to pull from. So they do feel really uncomfortable and they do feel almost like a fish out of water because they haven't really had any training with that when they become a parent. 06:38.68 Rachael Schmitz  Also, women just by nature of the pregnancy have many months to kind of prepare both physically and mentally. for what that looks like for that individual when they become a parent. um Fathers don't get that that length of time to prepare. For a lot of fathers, it's hard to imagine. 07:00.28 Rachael Schmitz  They know that their partner's having a baby, but it's not until the baby arrives that a lot of them start to actually feel like they can step into that role. 07:10.51 Jonathan Guerrero Sean, I'm curious too, have you seen that in your own, for example, have you seen that in your practice where ah a man has felt guilty, a a new dad has felt guilty for not feeling anything at all? 07:24.73 Jonathan Guerrero I wouldn't describe it that way. I think to Rachel's point that the cultural upbringing makes a big difference. Girls are culturally um given the opportunities to do some caregiving, to be around babies, to be aware of their needs. um I would say from a personal perspective, i still wasn't as prepared for the ongoing demands of a baby, which makes sense once you're on the other side of it. 07:56.12 Jonathan Guerrero But it's the um knowing, like, the babies are fragile, but not so fragile you can't move them around a little bit. Not so fragile you can't help with the diaper change. Not so fragile you can't sit and hold them and things like that. And so I actually have started asking people, men in general, 08:14.23 Jonathan Guerrero what their familiarity is with babies. Have they, you know, are they around toddlers even? um And that has then helped me to see that girls are given, even as teens, this the opportunity and maybe even the expectation that they will be caregiving little ones. 08:33.24 Jonathan Guerrero And so I've just tried to create opportunities for our boys so that they are around little ones and see their needs and and how fragile they can be, but also how challenging they can be just with how they have limited communication and things like that. So anyways, um those are some of the thoughts that came to mind based on what you were talking about, Rachel. 08:57.50 Rachael Schmitz  Yeah, I would definitely agree with that. And, you know, one of the things that I think was really challenging as well is just and you kind of touched on it briefly is just those limitations as far as self-care. You know, it's one of those things that nobody um can really adequately prepare you for what it's like to become a parent until you've become a parent. So you might be told a lot of things ahead of time about the sleep deprivation or just some of the limitations of the role. And it's not until you're actually living it day to day that you really understand how challenging and how demanding that role really is. 09:42.35 Jonathan Guerrero canny Give me just one second. I got somebody remo

    29 min
  5. The 24-Hour Reset

    FEB 9

    The 24-Hour Reset

    In this episode, we are exploring the ancient wisdom of the Sabbath through the lens of the modern father. We’re talking about why 'rest' is actually a high-level leadership move, and how the simple act of putting down the phone and picking up the family rhythm can heal the bond between a father and his children. We’ll be diving into the 'why' and the 'how' of creating a day that is set apart—not just as a day off, but as a day of restoration. Joining us for this incredible conversation are two people who understand this rhythm deeply. Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe, a world-renowned guide in Jewish wisdom and host of the Everyday Judaism podcast.and Reena Friedman Watts, the high-energy host of the famous Better Call Daddy podcast. To listen to the "Hey, Rabbi!" podcast with Reena Friedman Watts and Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe, visit: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOq8yL822A1EzPVQzuhxTYZdVPX3zzIKH&si=ztQKgF1roudvr4-f You can learn more or listen to Reena on the Better Call Daddy podcast here: https://bettercalldaddy.com/ or on any major podcast distributor like Apple Podcasts and Spotify. To listen to the collection of all of Rabbi Wolbe's podcasts visit: https://collection.transistor.fm/ Special thanks to Smile Online Course & Books for sponsoring this episode. To learn more visit: https://thefatherhoodchallenge--smileteenskills.thrivecart.com/social-career-skills-accelerator/ Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr https://zencastr.com/?via=thefatherhoodchallenge Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/thefatherhoodchallengepodcast/donations

    29 min
  6. The Generation Bridge

    FEB 4

    The Generation Bridge

    In this episode, we are exploring the frontlines of youth leadership and fatherhood with a man who has dedicated his life to bridging the generation gap. He is the founder of Generation Youth, an organization committed to empowering young people by equipping the adults in their lives to lead with heart and intentionality. We’re talking about how to build a legacy that outlasts your paycheck and how to unlock the hidden potential in your children by simply turning your heart toward home.  Our guest is James McLamb. James is the founder and CEO of Generation Youth Coaching. he's also an author, podcast host, and youth speaker. His passion is empowering young and strengthening families earning him a reputation as one of America’s foremost experts on youth development. To connect with James McLamb or learn more about Generation Youth Coaching and their podcast visit: https://www.generation-youth.com/ Follow Generation Youth on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/generationziglar Follow Generation Youth at: https://www.instagram.com/generation__youth/ Follow James McLamb on LinkedIn at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-mclamb-74a72746/ Special thanks to Smile Online Course & Books for sponsoring this episode. To learn more visit: https://thefatherhoodchallenge--smileteenskills.thrivecart.com/social-career-skills-accelerator/ Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr https://zencastr.com/?via=thefatherhoodchallenge 00:05.34 Jonathan Guerrero every generation Every generation faces a unique set of challenges, but the fundamental needs of a child remain unchanged. The need for a father who is not just physically present, but emotionally and spiritually engaged. 00:21.08 Jonathan Guerrero statistic tell us that a sobering so Statistics tell us a sobering story about the gap left behind when fathers are absent. But today, we aren't focused on the problem. 00:33.24 Jonathan Guerrero We are focused on restoration. There is an ancient mandate that speaks of turning the hearts of fathers to their children, it It's a beautiful image, but in a world of digital distractions and high-pressure careers, how does a modern dad actually make that turn? 00:52.25 Jonathan Guerrero How do we move from being roommates with our kids to being the mentors and teachers that they desperately need? 00:59.06 James McLamb Thank you. 01:01.30 Jonathan Guerrero Today, we are exploring the we are we are exploring the front lines of youth leadership and fatherhood with a man who has dedicated his life to bridging the generational gap. He is the founder of generational Generation Youth, an organization committed to empowering young people by equipping the adults in their lives to lead with a heart and intentional. 01:23.83 Jonathan Guerrero And intentionally, we're talking about how to build a legacy that outlasts your paycheck and how to unlock the hidden potential in your children by simply turning your heart towards home. 01:44.06 Jonathan Guerrero And we're going to explore all of this in just a moment, so don't go anywhere. 01:51.22 Jonathan Guerrero Greetings, everyone. Thank you so much for joining me and my son and co-host Isaac. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Fatherhood Challenge. The episode title is The Generation Bridge. Joining us is James McLamb. 02:03.10 Jonathan Guerrero James, your work at Generation Youth sits at the intersection of leadership and legacy. Welcome to the Fatherhood Challenge. 02:10.97 James McLamb I so appreciate the invitation to join you today, and I'm so so excited about our conversation and sharing our thoughts about fatherhood and and just you and I learning more together with your son as well. 02:24.98 Jonathan Guerrero So here's my favorite question. What is your favorite dad joke? 02:30.74 James McLamb Oh, you put me on the spot. i don't... i And I normally have a ah slew of them, but none of them come to mind because I read a an article probably a couple of years ago that said that children whose fathers tell them dad jokes, especially the really embarrassing ones, develop more resilience than those who don't have to live through that. So it's beneficial for your children for their dads to tell them those cringy, sometimes not funny dad jokes. But... 03:04.76 James McLamb I don't have the joke to come to my head right now. I wish I did, but I gave you a stat instead. 03:11.15 Jonathan Guerrero That'll work. That's just fine. All right. Well, let's start here. What's your story behind how and why you got involved with generational Generation Youth Coaching? 03:24.41 James McLamb Well, we saw a need, a desperate need for young people to have empowered adults, adults who had the skills, the understanding, the resources, tools in their toolbox to help them thrive, that could help young people thrive. 03:41.27 James McLamb We saw that there was a gap there. And that we could help feel that, that we could pour into adults who care about those who want to help coaching and that we could equip them with the skills, the resources, the mindset, the tools they needed to make this happen. 03:58.14 James McLamb So we started Generation Youth Coaching Program. Generation Youth as an organization has been around well over a decade, but the the coaching portion has really been with us the last six years. 04:12.44 Jonathan Guerrero Let's start here. what is um When you talk about... Give a sec. Isaac, it's you. Go ahead. 04:22.81 Jonathan Guerrero Okay, yeah. Sorry. you When you talk about turning the hearts of fathers, what is the biggest wall what is the biggest what is the biggest wall you see standing in the way of the... 04:39.96 Jonathan Guerrero and of that connection. Connection today. 04:45.11 James McLamb the The biggest and problem with with fathers connecting with young people today... 04:52.28 Jonathan Guerrero Yes. 04:53.91 James McLamb Well, I think a lot of it is because many fathers believe that they can have more influence later, that when their child is older, when the conversations are more rational, when the expectations that they have of their children can finally be enforced, they want to step in then. So they're missing out on the fact that you need to start building that relationship very early. Yeah. 05:17.24 James McLamb Influence doesn't start in the teenage years. It starts with a relationship that you build long before that as you're engaging with them. Because the simple truth of this is that i young people don't listen to logic. They listen to people they feel close to. 05:36.98 James McLamb So if a father is waiting until their child is in the teenage years where they start to feel comfortable to be around them, then they've lost some of that closeness that they can build, that connection they can build with it. 05:49.62 James McLamb So the biggest obstacle is really equipping those parents, those those fathers with those with that mindset of, I need to be involved with my child from day one in some capacity so that we can build this relationship. 06:06.31 Jonathan Guerrero Now, actually thinking of that, when you were talking there, I was actually kind of thinking, because, like, we have two cats back at our home. And we've had them since they were very, very little. That was actually my birthday present um last year. But actually, they're just these little, little kit cat cats back then. 06:24.38 Jonathan Guerrero And... um It just kind of reminded me because, like, you got to build a relationship with them when they're young. This way, like, now they're really dependent on us. Now they trust us. And now they're these um much bigger cats. They're still only about a year old. But that's just what they remind me of. Like, you got to build a relationship young. 06:43.25 James McLamb That's a great point. and And to be able to connect with them. Because when fathers don't participate early and don't build that connection early, the fathers may not feel emotionally close to their child. They they may not be experienced as really an authority figure in the child's life. And and sometimes they are even really liked in kind of a relational issue. So they we need to really ah pour into that that aspect of them when they're growing. 07:15.86 Jonathan Guerrero James, you work with you work with with leaders and youth on on on a global scale. Why is it that many men can can lead a boardroom or a job site or a job site with a to total confidence but feel completely out of their depth when when it comes to leading the hearts of their own children? 07:41.91 James McLamb What an interesting question, and I love the way you framed it in that talking about how men feel more competent in their careers than they do as fathers. And to think about that, the first thing that comes to mind is we most men, when they're leading in the boardroom or they're entrepreneurs, they spent years pouring into the personal development of themselves and to become better at that, whether it is through a degree or some kind of formal education related to that career, or maybe it's having a mentor that's guiding them through this, taking experience slow. You know, we don't get, we don't come out of school and then immediately become the CEO of something. We, we, we gradually build up to that. So there's a, there's a, 08:28.30 James McLamb acclimation to the role time that they have. It takes them time to get there. That doesn't happen with fatherhood. For a lot of fathers, you're thrust into this almost immediately. You really don't have any preparation unless you've been actively doing some kind of parenting classes or connecting with men through your through churches or ministry that can pour into you, most fathers do not have any kind of understanding of what's happening in their child, what does the child need from me as it c grows, and how do I do that? 09:01.14 James McLamb Most of us base our parenting style on how we were parenting. That'll influence you in a positive or

    29 min
  7. Devin Coleman on Resilience, Legacy, and Why Dads Matter Most

    FEB 2

    Devin Coleman on Resilience, Legacy, and Why Dads Matter Most

    In this episode, we are diving deep into the 'Fatherhood Cause' with a man who has made it his life’s mission to ensure no dad walks alone. He is an author, a speaker, and a relentless advocate for the comprehensive role of fathers in our communities. He’s lived through adversity, he’s navigated the hurdles, and he has emerged with a blueprint for what it means to be a 'world-class' dad in the modern age. We’re exploring how to break the chains of the past, why men’s mental health is the secret weapon of a healthy home, and why society flourishes when we stop treating fatherhood as an afterthought and start treating it as a primary solution. Our guest is Devin Coleman, known to many as 'The Fatherhood Advocate.' To lean more about Devin Coleman, visit: https://www.devindcoleman.com/ Connect with Devin on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FatherhoodNavigator/ Connect with Devin on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/devindcoleman/?hl=en Special thanks to Smile Online Course & Books for sponsoring this episode. To learn more visit: https://thefatherhoodchallenge--smileteenskills.thrivecart.com/social-career-skills-accelerator/ Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr https://zencastr.com/?via=thefatherhoodchallenge Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/thefatherhoodchallengepodcast/donations

    28 min
  8. The Present Provider

    JAN 29

    The Present Provider

    In this episode, we are talking about a role that is often misunderstood, sometimes undervalued, but arguably the most high-stakes job a man can take: The Stay-at-Home Dad. Joining us to share his journey and his 'why' is Paul Granger. Paul has navigated the highs and lows of stay-at-home fatherhood and has emerged with a powerful message for every dad who feels like he’s bucking the trend. To connect with Paul Granger or learn more about his ministry, visit: https://www.wheredidyouseegod.com/ Special thanks to Smile Online Course & Books for sponsoring this episode. To learn more visit: https://thefatherhoodchallenge--smileteenskills.thrivecart.com/social-career-skills-accelerator/ Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr https://zencastr.com/?via=thefatherhoodchallenge 00:06.07 Jonathan Guerrero At every backyard barbecue or professional networking event, the same question inevitably comes up. So what do you do? For decades, the correct masculine answer has been tied to the job title, a salary bracket, or a corporate ladder. We've been conditioned to believe that a father's primary contribution to his family is the paycheck he brings through the door. 00:29.30 Jonathan Guerrero But in 2026, the definition of a provider is shifting. Dads are realizing that while a bank account provides for a child's needs, a father's presence provides for the child's soul. 00:42.10 Jonathan Guerrero Today, we're talking about a role that is often misunderstood, sometimes undervalued, but arguably the most high stakes job that a man can take. It's the stay at home dad. 00:55.34 Jonathan Guerrero we're driving We're diving into we're dive into why being the home front leader isn't a career break. It's a strategic investment. We're exploring how to navigate the ego shift of leaving the traditional workplace, how to handle the social side eye, and why men who are home with their kids should be the proudest guys in the room. 01:16.79 Jonathan Guerrero This isn't just about childcare. It's about intentional legacy, which we will explore in just a moment. So don't go anywhere. 01:33.30 Jonathan Guerrero Greetings, everyone. Thank you so much for joining me and my son and co-host, Isaac. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Father Challenge. Joining us to share his journey and his why is Paul Granger. 01:45.78 Jonathan Guerrero Paul has navigated the highs and lows of stay-at-home fatherhood and has emerged with a powerful message for every dad who feels like he's bucking the trend. Paul, welcome to the program. 01:57.82 Paul Granger It is great to be here. 02:01.58 Jonathan Guerrero Let's start here. When you made the first transition to being at home, what was the hardest part of your old identity to let go? 02:09.78 Paul Granger That is a good question. i think The reality is, is there is this set in mindset of how life is supposed to work. And when before the transition, my wife and I were living into it. All right. We have a mortgage. We have bills. 02:27.96 Paul Granger We have to do this, that and the other. I had been working in ministry. My wife had been a teacher. So neither of us had ever made a lot of money, but we were getting by. And when I unexpectedly lost my job, I found myself in this very difficult space where people were telling me, you need to find a job right now because you need money in order to survive. And that's logical. 02:50.04 Paul Granger But i found this opportunity to lean into something very unexpected and untraditional. I've been full-time volunteer ministry since losing my job. So that was almost, that was a little over seven and a half years ago. 03:06.01 Paul Granger And when I stepped into it, there was no guidebook. And I had to own the reality that whoever I was before, however I functioned, you know, getting a paycheck every two weeks, working at nine to five, being able to tell people clearly what it is I do, what it is I don't do without any side eyes. I was going have to be willing to let that go because where we were in life, ah it was... 03:33.98 Paul Granger important for me to be there for my family. It was important for me to be flexible, particularly when my wife got back into full-time teaching. For anybody that knows teachers, you know that in order to take off for work, you have to do even more work. And so it is not easy for a teacher to be able to Be home if a kid is sick, take them to the doctors. And so for many years now, that has been the role that I've had to sit in 04:05.72 Paul Granger And what's what I found really amazing is that the hard moments are when I think about what other people might think of me, what other people might say, what they when I have had people lean into that, well, the husband's supposed to be the provider, you know you need to take care of your family. 04:25.94 Paul Granger ah but the But the reality is, I have been able to be present in my kids' lives in ways that I never thought were possible. 04:36.22 Paul Granger Because prior to the shift, eight hours of my day at least were locked out away from my kids. But I got to be there as my youngest was going through his formative formative toddler years. And Now that my kids are all three in school, I've been able to be present with them when they are sick. They don't have to have a babysitter or someone else. They can have their father with them. when they're We've had kids who are older who have had some hard times with peers in school. And one time, one of them recently had to take off a day because it just was too hard to go to school. And I was able to be there for her. Take her on a walk down the street. We went and got coffee and had a conversation. 05:19.35 Paul Granger And so the hard thing was to let go of what I'm told I'm supposed to be. The rewarding thing was realizing that is a very limited option and there are so many more. 05:35.38 Jonathan Guerrero Society often views providing strictly through a financial lens. In what ways have you discovered that your presence at home is actually a more valuable currency for your children than a second paycheck? 05:50.71 Paul Granger Yeah, so you know, 2025 was a hard year for a lot of people, particularly financially, and and we're no different. ah And we have had many conversations, practical conversations of this is where the bank account is. 06:07.29 Paul Granger This is where it isn't. This is what needs to happen. And and those conversations are still ongoing. But in that space, i started thinking looking into scenarios. Okay, if it was decided that I should get a traditional job, what would that look like? And I realized, you know, just on a very straightforward level, getting not even getting to the value piece, ah the the practical value is that I realized I don't know how much I'm going to need to make to actually 06:39.48 Paul Granger ah justify what is being lost in this around my availability, the way I'm able to, man, even serve my wife by doing the laundry. Like it's a small thing, but for her, it's huge coming home from a long day of teaching. 06:54.23 Paul Granger And so I realized there's actually practical value, but the the the value I've discovered of how I've been able to been a father to my children and a wife, a husband to my wife, I cannot put a monetary number to that. 07:15.29 Paul Granger I can't say, well, you know, if I made a job that provided this much money, then it would make it worth letting go of who I'm able to be for my family through this. 07:27.67 Paul Granger And man, it and like I said, it's those little moments that you don't expect that aren't planned or scripted when a kid is homesick and we're able to connect or I'm able to bring them peace. Like those, you know, that there's that trope of, um you know, 07:45.59 Paul Granger When your kids grow up and get older, they're not going to remember what you did for you know during the work week or how much you made on your paycheck. They're going to remember who you were with them, how you interacted with them. 07:59.00 Paul Granger And so for those fathers who find themselves in a position where they feel called to be a stay-at-home dad or they feel it thrust upon them, um yeah I would encourage you to know that there is going to be a value from that that will far outweigh the largest paycheck, that will actually plant seeds in your children, but also go with them in ways that simple provision will not. 08:27.93 Jonathan Guerrero This conversation that we're having is is very personal to me. And the reason why is because I used to be a truck driver. I pulled doubles and I was very, very good at what I do, if I do say so myself. 08:41.86 Paul Granger Yeah. 08:42.49 Jonathan Guerrero And um I enjoyed it. ah It was rough sometimes. It was a challenge, but i I really enjoy it. I mean, when you're really good, when you're good at something that you do you have a lot of freedom as you do job. 08:55.70 Jonathan Guerrero do your job And you do it really, really well at a high level and you're receiving recognition for doing your job really, really well. um it's It's really hard to leave that. 09:08.18 Jonathan Guerrero And I remember i I could hear God's voice clearly calling me out of the truck. And it was probably about the most painful experience I can remember. 09:19.19 Jonathan Guerrero My last day of work was probably one of the hardest days of my life. And the reason why is because as I was cleaning up the truck for the last time and I was climbing out of there, I knew I was not ever coming back again. 09:33.02 Paul Granger Mm-hmm. 09:33.17 Jonathan Guerrero This wasn't temporary. It's it's it this was it. This wasn't what God was calling me to do. Not now. Probably not ever. ah There was something else in mind and I still had no sight of that either. 09:47.93 Jonathan Guerrero So I was in between where this is a definite God's telling me get out of the truck. ah You're doing something else. That's very clear. But w

    29 min
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The Fatherhood Challenge is a movement dedicated to encouraging fathers to engage with their children and educate society on the positive impact involved fathers have on their communities and society from generation to generation.

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