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NonMembers Only
  • 5.0 (320)
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An influencer and a civil engineer...two of the greatest minds to ever grace the planet tackle sports, entrepreneurship, and science with the confidence of people who are always right. Don’t fact-check us—just enjoy the #1 Sports Podcast in the WORLD.

  1. 2d ago

    #255 - Death Diving,Legend of Kevin’s Truck,& Sleeping on Garage Floors

    We kick off on National Thrift Shop Day with Erin literally pouring sweat after Dan opened the garage doors to unpack from six chaotic weeks away at the shore. She breaks down the disastrous end to their beach trip: after the borough removed their boat ramp, her mom Judy took a nasty tumble trying to climb the bulkhead and ended up in a packed, terrifying hallway bed in the ER. To make matters worse, Judy hobbled out of the hospital before getting her painkillers, leaving the entire extended family, 16 people and a dog, crammed into a 3 bedroom house. Erin spent the night sleeping on the garage floor next to a flashing electric car charger and a kicking toddler.  In sports news, we introduce the chaotic new street game "Don't Touch the Can," marvel at the terrifying flips and belly flops of Norwegian Death Diving, and celebrate a guy in Cleveland who just broke the world record for the fastest mile while pushing a Thule stroller clocking in at an insane 4:17 while his baby just happily kicked around inside. We also discuss the upcoming Australian Netflix documentary on the viral Olympic breakdancer Raygun, and debunk a fake viral video that falsely claimed a hiker was charged $70,000 for a helicopter rescue in Yosemite. Moving into tech and marketing, we dive into a wild conspiracy theory that AI companies are secretly paying creators massive sums to start a TikTok trend of reciting phrases with different emotions just to train their voice models. Speaking of insane tech money, we touch on a tech podcast allegedly getting a $70 million buyout, before Erin unleashes a massive rant against BMW for forcing unskippable video ads onto their cars' dashboards and the absolute misery of new CAPTCHA tests asking users to match animal environments. We then review a hilarious story out of New Jersey where police actually disguised themselves as bushes to catch 74 drivers using their cell phones. Finally, we wrap up with "No Bad, No Sad," featuring a legendary viral post from a Japanese man discovering the American phenomenon of having a “truck guy” where moving a sofa costs exactly one pizza, reminding us that Dan is officially our neighborhood's "Kevin".

  2. Aug 10

    #254 - Courtside WNBA, Ted Lasso Trip, & Dribbling Disaster

    Episode 254 opens in person at the shore on National Spoil Your Dog Day with Bucky. Before diving into recent travels, Erin and Mike preview their upcoming trip to LA for the Tinter Battles window tinting championships, where they secured media passes, and plan to interview the CEO. Erin then breaks down her whirlwind coast-to-coast trip to LA, which started with her binging all three seasons of Ted Lasso after discovering the hit Apple TV series originally evolved from a three minute Premier League commercial created by an ad agency. After enjoying United's Polaris Lounge and flying first class to LA, Erin was picked up by a chauffeur who misplaced his debit card, forgot where his car was parked, and accidentally drove to the wrong Marriott. Erin made her way trinketless to the LA Sparks WNBA courtside game held to promote Ted Lasso Season 4, where 7,000 replica "Believe" signs were handed out, and she met up with creators including Molly Markle and the Bellairs (who dressed in full Ted Lasso costumes). Before the game, Erin hit it off with a woman who turned out to be the global head of Adidas Basketball, explored the VIP courtside lounge and its marble bathrooms featuring mahogany "wet floor" signs, cried during a retired player's jersey ceremony, and accidentally caused a brief panic when she tried to dribble a ball on the court. After FaceTiming Mike and Sam from the court, Erin later spotted actor Jeremy Swift (who plays Leslie on Ted Lasso) at the airport lounge on her flight home. To close out the episode, Mike and Erin share a wholesome "No Bad, No Sad" story about NFL star JJ Watt. After a fan tweeted about being too shy to ask JJ Watt for a photo when they ate breakfast near each other in NYC, Watt saw the tweet, asked where the fan was hanging out, showed up at O'Hara's bar, and joined him for a Guinness.

  3. Aug 3

    #253 - USATF Outdoor Championships, Woodhall's Interview, & Police Standoff

    In this episode of NonMembers Only, Mike and Erin record in-person on the streets of New York City while covering the USATF Outdoor Championships at Icahn Stadium on Randall's Island. The city trip starts with typical urban adventures, from navigating packed hotel elevators and complaining about the grueling trek to Randall's Island, to picking up media credentials at an FDNY training facility where an Italian worker was completely baffled by Erin’s "Mrs. Space Cadet" persona. Trackside, they break down the major drama surrounding Hunter Woodhall, who was disqualified for his 400m final for using an "illegal technology" starting foam block, protested by racing anyway, and later won gold without the block, despite an awkward call out from the stadium announcer, before launching 15 feet in the air during Erin's interview and insisting she keep his gold medal. They also touch on the NYC Mayor's 500 ticket giveaway, Aliyah Armstrong’s bedazzled spikes and mom coach, NBC commentator Lewis Johnson remembering Erin’s cologne question from two years ago, and an exclusive interview with Tara Davis-Woodhall in her custom 1-of-1 Nike tassel outfit, where Erin skipped race questions to show off her pull up progress. Back at the hotel, Mike and Erin become hypnotized by competitive ESPN juggling from Paris, before Erin unleashes a massive "Tea Time" saga regarding a 5 hour beach standoff with police. After cops pulled her 12-year-old daughter out of the house to question her about Sunfish sailboats and told Erin to "look up the ordinance," Erin went deep into DEP public trust doctrines, drafted a formal complaint letter, suffered severe stress diarrhea, filed an OPRA request, and stood her ground against town officials attempting to clear small boats off their dead end street. To wrap up the episode, they recount getting trapped in Times Square traffic next to eight deafening, popping motorcycles, explain the sheer panic of accidentally filming a Dick's Sporting Goods brand confessional horizontally instead of vertically right before hotel checkout, and meet up with "Business Business" Regan as she arrives with London tea while Erin prepares for her upcoming trip to LA for the Ted Lasso premiere and a courtside WNBA game.

  4. Jul 27

    #252 - Surprise Ted Lasso Invite, Sailboat Rescue, & Cycle Ball

    Happy National New Jersey Day and apologizing for "winging it" while living in temporary shore chaos with random neighborhood kids wandering into the house. We recap a wild week that included breathing in Canadian wildfire smoke and surviving an unannounced flash hurricane that flooded the streets, floated shoes and bikes, and washed un-secured drywall from the controversial LBI mega house directly into the bay. The beach badge checkers are also out in full force, prompting Erin to sprint into the ocean in street clothes to evade them for 45 minutes before discovering the rules changed to require badges even for surfers. Another event of the week, however, was Dan's three hour sailboat rescue where he had to jump into the stormy bay to tie a bowline knot and fix his broken Sunfish boat while saving a beginner sailor who blew downwind. We also file a formal complaint about Dan asking Erin to fetch ambiguous tools from his five different toolboxes, recount a neighbor dropping off sourdough bread wrapped in twine mid-recording, and recap the chaos of police and fire showing up for an alarm while the homeowner's daughter was 30 seconds away from singing opera in Prague. In sports and pop culture, we discuss the "5K Guy" who faced internet backlash for running a 5K in his World Cup seat before clarifying he was safely in a brand sponsored section. Erin also drops a massive announcement about scoring an Apple TV brand invite to the Ted Lasso Season 4 premiere and a courtside WNBA game in LA. We introduce a new sport called "Cycle Ball"—aggressive indoor soccer played on bicycles—and react to a Red Bull stunt featuring a stuntwoman jumping from an extreme height into a pile of hay. We also debate a viral video of an elite runner mom waving off her clueless husband and kids when they ran onto the course 15 feet before the finish line, and we hype up the Philadelphia Parallel Parking Championship featuring an "under duress" category. Finally, we vent our frustrations over a gut health company stealing Erin's video about bloating and adding a creepy, glitchy AI spokesperson to sell their product. After reading through a list of hilarious blue collar insults, we share an update on the Cyclospora parasite outbreak. We wrap up with "No Bad, No Sad," celebrating an elite Uber driver named Rob with over 14,000 rides who ended up eating drive thru food, playing board games, and chilling in a jacuzzi with his passengers.

  5. Jul 20

    #251 - Soccer Walkout Secrets, Esquires in Session, & 12 Week Pull Up Payoff

    We kick off this loaded episode celebrating National Fortune Cookie Day by cracking open a few fortunes before dropping an announcement: we are officially heading to New York City as credentialed media for the USATF National Championships on Randall's Island! Expect plenty of athlete interviews and uncut unhinged content. Erin gives a 12 week pull up program progress report. We stack up our week 12 numbers against day one, revealing insane gains. We also vent about the discouraging social media comments claiming a pull up takes years, and recap our contrasting weekend social lives, including surviving a next door neighbor's party in "hard pants". Next up, we dive into a heavy dose of local shore chaos for "Erin's Tea Time". The controversial LBI mega house was somehow approved. The zero parking situation boiled over when contractors blocked a driveway, prompting two police cars to show up, much to the delight of our ticket obsessed seven year old. Meanwhile, Dan took on the local beach badge checkers after they called the cops on surfers, pulling out the official rule book to prove that anyone can legally "traverse" the sand to get to the water without a badge. We then put on our Esquire hats for a massive journalism and law segment, starting with a fascinating soccer history discovery: why players walk out holding hands with children. Speaking of soccer, we look at the concessions data out of Philadelphia's stadium, where 410,000 fans crushed 290,000 beers and 55,000 hot dogs, and we applaud FIFA's partnership with the nonprofit Musically Fed to donate leftover food instead of tossing it in a dumpster. We then shift to some wild court cases, covering the Troy Turkey Trot race director charged with grand larceny for stealing $114,000, the class-action lawsuit against United and Delta over "windowless" window seats, a ridiculous trademark battle between a sneaker company and Travis Kelce and Patrick Mahomes' new 1587 Prime steakhouse, and a petty cookbook author coming after a creator over a cake pop recipe. To wrap things up, we compare two totally different fitness movements: an incredibly cool, Rolling Stone approved underground calisthenics street league in New York City featuring a brutal 100 burpee and 65 pound dumbbell squat face off, versus a lame, corporate, $15 million backed CrossFit rival called Xenon that uses AI photos. Finally, we close out the episode with a health rant about the Cyclospora parasite outbreak causing weeks of explosive diarrhea across the country. Finally in our No Bad No Sad segment we talk about a kid getting advice from professional NFL players regarding his football stances.

  6. Jul 13

    #250 - Beach Badge Meltdowns, FIFA’s 7-Year Grass, & Pro Rock Skipping

    Welcome to the massive 250th episode of the NonMembers Only podcast! To celebrate the quarter-thousand milestone on National Rock Day, we discuss a Erin's son adopting a pet rock named "Rocky" and vent about our current state of exhaustion, high cortisol, and terrible Wi-Fi at the shore. We recap a chaotic 4th of July weekend that featured severe thunderstorms interrupting fireworks, boats running aground in the low tide, and a nine-year-old successfully lighting his first firework. The beach drama is also heating up, as we recount a tense situation where a 20-year-old beach badge checker was left hyperventilating and crying after a confrontation with frustrated renters. On a more positive note, Erin shares an exciting fitness update after successfully getting her chin over a painfully low doorway pull up bar. In an "Erin's Tea Time" update on the LBI mega house, we discuss rumors that the neighbor's variance lawsuit failed, prompting our new motto: "Why rules, why laws, when money". We then pivot to retail, praising Sephora for rolling out sensory friendly "quiet hours" while absolutely roasting a fancy grocery store for deciding to install loud, rough stone flooring in their aisles. Moving into sports, we discuss the Prefontaine Classic and the bizarre reality of a Team USA sprinter getting kicked off his own alumni track by security. Our FIFA segment covers two wild stories: the tragic painting over of Robert Wyland’s iconic 30 year old Dallas whale mural to make way for World Cup branding, and the insane seven year engineering process behind the tournament's grass pitches, which involves robotic cleats, vacuum powered ventilation, and artificial grow lights. Finally, we ring the "New Sport Alert" to highlight the intense world of Pro Rock Skipping at the Kentucky Invitational. We also debate if walking underwater via a pressurized diving bell ship counts as a sport, and question the authenticity of a Russian couple's viral Empire State Building climb. To wrap up with "No Bad, No Sad," we celebrate Team USA sprinter Kung Fu Kenny (Kenny Bednarek) and his incredibly humble, heartwarming reaction to being surprised by a massive Nike store mural of himself.

  7. Jul 6

    #249 - FIFA's $250M Water Breaks, Bachelor Pad Horrors & Beach Life Drama

    We kick off this episode by celebrating National Fried Chicken Day, even if Bucky the dog's health issues mean he can't partake. We dive straight into "Erin's Tea Time" to spill the drama on an alleged billionaire building a massive, rule breaking house across three bayfront lots on Long Beach Island. To help parents survive the summer, we share two elite neighborhood games: jumping over a spinning Slinky and "Petrina," which involves towing a Barbie behind a bike inside a velcro mitt. We also recount a hilarious interaction where a parent asked Dan to snitch on some unsupervised beach house teenagers. Then, we jump into a massive FIFA segment, starting with our absolute outrage over a French reporter calling Belgian player Jeremy Doku "disgusting" for leaving the tournament to attend the birth of his child. We also discuss streamer IShowSpeed securing a groundbreaking deal to broadcast World Cup matches for free on YouTube. The soccer drama continues as we expose FIFA's "medical" water breaks, which conveniently allowed Fox Sports to sell 832 new commercial slots and make a quarter of a billion dollars. We also shout out "Swimbappe," the goldfish currently holding an 8-6 record for predicting match winners, and we laugh at Cowboys owner Jerry Jones finally being forced by FIFA to use the sun blocking curtains at AT&T Stadium that he has stubbornly refused to use for NFL games. Moving into pop culture and internet trends, we review a viral Reddit thread exposing the grim, minimalist reality of bachelor pads, prompting horrifying flashbacks to living with nine guys in a disgusting college house. We applaud digital illusionist Zach King for declaring a content war against AI by relying on his incredible practical effects. We also break down the Polymarket scandal uncovered by the Wall Street Journal, where the betting site paid creators to post fake $60,000 wins using a deceptive dummy website, leading us into a deep dive on proper ad disclosures and the dark reality of influencers botting their views. Finally, we introduce a new segment called "How Do You Do It?", where we debate the best ways to politely escape a bad garage sale and how to properly apply a glue stick. We revive our "How About We Just Die" segment to discuss a horrifying Texas truck crash that released 24 million honey bees into a neighborhood. For our "New Sport Alert," we highlight the absolute insanity of extreme wheelbarrowing at the Masters of Dirt show in Europe. To wrap things up on a high note in "No Bad, No Sad," we celebrate the triumphant return of Neil the Seal, the massive, lovable Tasmanian seal who brings joy to everyone by aggressively crushing local infrastructure.

  8. Jun 29

    #248 - Wine Tasting Etiquette, Clever Stadium Marketing & The Bus Driver Championships

    We kick off the episode by celebrating National Outdoor Equipment Maintenance Day before diving into our recent weekends. Erin recaps her trip to the local Kempton Fair, complete with tractor pulls, upcoming frog jumping contests, and a ride operator broadcasting on TikTok Live. Erin then details her chaotic but ultimately amazing trip to Cellar Beast Winehouse in Andreas, Pennsylvania, where she tackled wine-tasting etiquette, judged an entitled millionaire, and discovered a phenomenal $65 bottle of wine. We also share a quick pull-up progress update, announcing Erin's new ability to hang unassisted and move around the bar, a skill she absolutely plans to show off when we attend the USATF Outdoor Championships. Finally, we give a quick merch update on our premium, sturdy NonMembers Only koozies and the Team Struggle Run shirts that Dan is actively packing and shipping. In tech news, we review Snapchat's new augmented reality Spectacles, which look so clunky they seem like a joke and apparently caused the company's stock to plummet. Moving into the running world, we review the viral antics of "The 5K Guy" running inside a fridge and an oven, another creator completing a marathon without touching the ground using lawn chairs, and Matt Planks holding an agonizing two-hour and 28-minute plank for the Aerial Recovery Group. We also touch on the Cape Town Marathon joining the World Marathon Majors, the London Marathon expanding to a massive two-day event, and our fears about private equity firm L Catterton purchasing the indoor fitness race Hyrox. We even highlight a crazy story out of the Netherlands where a marathon was postponed because organizers accidentally hired a serial fake ambulance worker. Oh, and we definitely need to secure press passes to the Estonian Bus Driver Championships. For our FIFA segment, we discuss the two lucky fans getting paid $50,000 to watch all 104 World Cup matches inside a glass cube in Times Square. We also applaud the clever marketing tactics of brands like Levi's and Gillette, who creatively covered up their stadium logos with white outlines and foam shaving cream to comply with strict FIFA rules. After sharing how heartwarming it is to see Americans welcoming international soccer fans with open arms—from the Algerian national team in Kansas to Scottish fans in Boston—we wrap up with our "No Bad, No Sad" segment. This week, we highlight an NYPD officer who brought joy to the chaotic Knicks parade by playing a massive game of tic-tac-toe with fans across the street barricades, and we send a special shoutout to Knox crushing it on the kazoo.

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5
out of 5
320 Ratings

About

An influencer and a civil engineer...two of the greatest minds to ever grace the planet tackle sports, entrepreneurship, and science with the confidence of people who are always right. Don’t fact-check us—just enjoy the #1 Sports Podcast in the WORLD.

Information

  • Creator
    NonMembers Only
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    256
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © NonMembers Only
  • Show Website
    NonMembers Only