A HOLY MESS | Nervous System, Somatic, Regret, Exhausted, Burnout, Boundaries, Emotional Healing, Christian Mindset, Recovery

Dani Sumner | Christian Life Coach, Spiritual Director, Spiritual Transformation Coach
  • 5.0 (181)
  • Christianity
  • Updated Weekly

Do you ever feel stuck, emotionally drained, or like you’re constantly striving but never “enough”? You’re in the right place! Welcome to A HOLY MESS Podcast (ranked in the top 1% globally🎉), a podcast designed for you if you’re ready to break free and heal from self-doubt, burnout, and overgiving—so you can step into confidence, peace, God’s grace and purpose with clarity. Each week, I share biblical wisdom, mindset shifts, and real conversations to help you: ✨ Overcome self-doubt and fear with faith-based confidence. ✨ Let go of striving and perfectionism and embrace God’s grace. ✨ Set healthy boundaries and stop people-pleasing without guilt. ✨ Heal from burnout, shame, regret, and emotional exhaustion. ✨ Renew your mind with God’s truth and step into your purpose. There’s no magic wand to find more freedom, but there are practical tools that can help. Even as Christians who sometimes feel unworthy and shame about our past, anxious about our future, or feel like we are not enough. There is so much more for us! There’s hope, joy, peace, fun, purpose, and a reason that YOU are on this planet. If you’re ready to rediscover your worth, reconnect with God, and finally feel at peace, you’re in the right place. We can have fun and laugh while trudging through our messes; this stuff doesn’t need to be dry and boring. I can’t wait to journey with you. Your new friend, Dani Learn -＞ www.danisumner.com Connect -＞ hello@danisumner.com Facebook -＞ https://www.facebook.com/DaniSumnerCoaching Instagram -＞ https://www.instagram.com/danisumner/

  1. 1d ago

    240. I'm Unavailable for That Chaos: Permission to Stop Stepping Into the Storm

    📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner I'm Unavailable for That Chaos: Permission to Stop Stepping Into the Storm Life is lifing. Hard in multiple directions at once. Parents, friendships, grief, the mess you didn't sign up for and the mess you created yourself. Dani recorded this one in the middle of her own intense season and didn't pretend otherwise. She's navigating her parents needing more support, two friends with stage four cancer, and a s****y committee that would love nothing more than to drag her into every storm. Her response? "I'm unavailable for that chaos." Not because things aren't hard. Because she knows you can only do what you can do, and emotionally stepping into what you can't control is just another way to abandon yourself. This is the kind of work 1:1 coaching with Dani is built around: getting your nervous system right, your vision clear, and your permission to believe that better is still coming. She closes with a guided white light meditation, a Habakkuk 2:2 vision exercise, and a C.S. Lewis quote that lands like a deep breath. Book a discovery call at aholymess.com, or grab a spot right now at calendly.com/danisumner. In this episode, Dani talks about: The difference between external chaos and internal chaos (and why you're probably stepping into both) Permission to be "unavailable" for the storms you can't actually change The vagus nerve breath reset you can do in under 60 seconds A guided white light body scan meditation to get present and regulated The Habakkuk 2:2 vision exercise: write it big enough to read on the run Why reading your goals morning and night changes everything Glad you're here, Dani Want to Go Deeper? 💫 Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone. If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're not where they used to be. 🤍

  2. 5d ago

    239. The Love Language Nobody Talks About (Applying It to Yourself)

    📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner Love Yourself in Your Language You know your husband's love language. You know your best friend's. But when's the last time you actually used one on yourself? Gary Chapman's five love languages (quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, physical touch, acts of service) were built to help you understand how people feel loved. Somewhere along the way we started applying them to everyone except the one person who needed them most. You've been loving everybody else in their language while running on empty -- and that's exactly why you're depleted. Dani's been teaching this inside her coaching groups for years and finally brought it to the podcast: figure out your top two love languages, then do those things for yourself. Quality time? 30 minutes of solitude, not errand-running. Physical touch? A massage with intention, not just obligation. Acts of service? Clean out the drawer that's been hanging over you. Gifts? Buy yourself the flowers. It's not selfish. It's the opposite of self-abandonment. And if words of affirmation is your language and your s****y committee is out of control -- that's not a coincidence. You're getting hit hardest in the exact place you need the most love. That's the work. And if you want to go deeper on it with someone in your corner, 1:1 coaching with Dani or the Life Coach Certification is where that happens. In this episode, Dani talks about: Why we apply the five love languages to everyone but ourselves How each love language can be practiced as self-care (with real, specific examples) The link between your love language and why you feel chronically depleted Why words of affirmation + a loud s****y committee is a specific kind of soul wound The one-week challenge: do two love languages for yourself before the week is out How loving yourself well is a spiritual responsibility, not a trend Glad you're here, Dani Want to Go Deeper? 💫 Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone. If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're not where they used to be. 🤍

  3. Jul 22

    238. God Doesn't Waste a Thing: How to Use Your Mess for Good

    📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner 238. God Doesn't Waste a Thing: How to Use Your Mess for Good You have a story. And if you're honest, parts of it still have a grip on you. The childhood stuff you thought you processed. The religious conditioning that told you you'd never be enough. The way your business tanks when your inner world is a mess. Dani recorded this one right after getting off the phone with a client who knew she was the bottleneck in her own business but couldn't figure out why. The answer wasn't a strategy. It was the same thing Dani sees over and over: unprocessed stuff left to run the show. Here's the truth: your history doesn't disqualify you. It qualifies you. But only if you deal with it instead of dragging it behind you like an anchor. If you've done the therapy, read the books, tried the groups, and still feel stuck, the missing piece might be learning to use your story to help others. That's what the Life Coach Certification is built for: taking what you've lived and turning it into something that actually helps people. Because when you help others, you heal yourself. Book a discovery call at aholymess.com and let's find out what God can do with your mess. In this episode, Dani talks about: Why your story is your most powerful coaching tool, not your biggest liability How unprocessed religious conditioning bleeds into your business and relationships The client call that sparked this episode and what it revealed about inner work Why helping others is one of the fastest paths to healing yourself What the Life Coach Certification is actually designed to do (and who it's for) Glad you're here, Dani Want to Go Deeper? 💫 Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone. If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're not where they used to be. 🤍

  4. Jul 18

    237. You Are Known: A Psalm 139 Meditation

    📞 Ready to go deeper? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner You Are Known: A Psalm 139 Meditation If scripture has ever been used against you, as a weapon or a warning, this one is for you. Psalm 139 is one of the most intimate passages in the Bible, and Dani reads it here the way it was always meant to land: as a reminder that you are fully known, fully seen, and held in grace from before you were born. This is a brief scripture meditation, about four minutes, designed to slow you down and let the words do their work. Dani has been on her own journey of redeeming scripture for years, and this kind of quiet, restorative practice is at the heart of the work she does with her coaching clients and inside her programs. If this speaks to something you've been longing for, a free discovery call at aholymess.com is a beautiful place to start. In this episode: A brief intro on why redeeming scripture matters (especially if church hurt is part of your story) Dani reads Psalm 139 as a meditation, inviting you to hear it in your own name A closing prayer anchored in grace, presence, and permission to return to yourself Glad you're here, Dani Want to Go Deeper? 💫 Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone. If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're not where they used to be. 🤍

  5. Jul 15

    236. A Win Is a Win - Stop Deflecting the Good

    📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner You're the doer. The one carrying everybody else's stuff. You can name your blind spots and recite your weaknesses on command, and somewhere along the way you got so practiced at being self-critical that celebrating yourself feels almost wrong. Which means you're an empty well, waiting on somebody else to come along and fill you up. In this episode, Dani gets real about why celebrating your wins is the holy work you keep skipping, and what it actually unlocks when you stop deflecting the good. She tells the story of her solo walk through Paris where she thanked previous Dani for setting her up, and met future Dani for a sneak peek of what's coming. She teaches why loving kindness, not self-judgment, is what leads to the change you actually want. And she names two client wins from this week, including a woman who shifted a 25-year mother-daughter dynamic in one trip, as proof that anchoring into a holy moment can rewrite your reality faster than you think. If you're ready to do this work with real support, 1:1 coaching is open and the next discovery call is yours when you book it. In this episode, Dani talks about: Why your gratitude list is not the same as celebrating yourself, and why the second one is the work The Paris walk where she thanked previous Dani and met future Dani in the same two hours Why "loving kindness leads to repentance" means self-judgment will not get you to your next level How to grow your fantasy life when visualization feels like a setup for disappointment The boundaries you need around the negative Nellies, even the ones in Christian culture Two client wins this week that prove anchoring into a holy moment can rewrite your reality Glad you're here, Dani Want to Go Deeper? 💫 Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone. If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're not where they used to be. 🤍

  6. Jul 11

    235. Be Still. A Guided Meditation for When Your Brain Won't Quit

    📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner Your brain is loud. Your to-do list is longer than your faith feels right now. And somewhere in the middle of all that noise, God is just asking you to be still. In this special episode, Dani guides you through a short white light body scan meditation — the kind of practice she uses with her 1:1 coaching clients and inside her groups to help you get out of your head and back into your body, your spirit, and your sense of being held by God. Meditation isn't woo. It's biblical. And it doesn't have to take 30 minutes. This one is brief, powerful, and designed to bring you back to center when the world is spinning. If this kind of deep inner work is what you've been missing, that's exactly what 1:1 coaching with Dani is built around. Book a discovery call at aholymess.com and let's go deeper together. In this episode, Dani talks about: Why meditation is biblical and why Christians should stop being afraid of it The triune being framework: how this practice works on your mind, body, and spirit at once A guided white light body scan meditation you can do in under 10 minutes How to return to this practice anytime you need to come back to center What 1:1 coaching with Dani actually looks like and who it's for Glad you're here, Dani Want to Go Deeper? 💫 Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone. If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're not where they used to be. 🤍

  7. Jul 8

    234. Shared Joy Is Double Joy: How to Find Your People and Protect Your Peace

    📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner Shared Joy Is Double Joy: How to Find Your People and Protect Your Peace Shared joy is doubled. Shared sorrow is halved. That Swedish proverb sounds simple until you realize how many people you've been keeping your struggle, and your good news, from. Maybe you learned early that sharing your wins invites criticism. Maybe the people closest to you can't handle it when things are finally going well. Misery loves company, and Dani is naming it directly: not everyone deserves a seat at your joy. But the right community, one that can actually double your good and carry half your hard, that changes everything. In this episode, Dani tells the story of six flight delays at the Denver airport and the moment her 17-year-old son Zac quoted her own coaching back at her. What started as a long night turned into one of the richest conversations she's had about agency, community, and what it actually means to carry one another's burdens (Galatians 6:2). She also names the Joel 2:25 era, God renewing the years the locusts have eaten, and closes with a guided Psalm 139 meditation to anchor you in being fully known. If you've been doing this alone, or sharing with the wrong people, 1:1 coaching with Dani is where that changes. And if you're feeling called to do this work for others, the Life Coach Certification is open too. In this episode, Dani talks about: The Swedish proverb she shared with her 17-year-old at 1 a.m. in the Denver airport, and why it changed the night Why misery loves company, and how to protect your joy from the people who can't hold it The "it's not a conference call" principle: your calling between you and God doesn't need their approval Why over-explaining yourself is a sign you were never really heard, and what to do instead The Joel 2:25 era: God renewing the years the locusts have eaten, one day at a time A guided Psalm 139 meditation to close ("You have searched me, Lord, and you know me") Glad you're here, Dani Want to Go Deeper? 💫 Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone. If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who needs permission to stop doing life alone. 🤍

  8. Jul 1

    233. It's All About Perspective: Finding the Gift Inside the Hard Season

    📞 Ready to do the deeper work? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner   📋 Free Perspective Finder worksheet → https://www.danisumner.com/233 It's All About Perspective: Finding the Gift Inside the Hard Season You know that spiral. The one where you're stuck in your own mess, comparing yourself to everyone who seems to have it together, and your brain keeps dragging you back to every hard thing on the list. That's not a character flaw. That's the negativity bias, and your brain is just doing its job. But here's what Dani heard from her dog groomer this week, and what a stranger on a plane said to her friend mid-rough-day: it's all about perspective. In this episode, Dani shares a story that will stop you cold (the one with a blind girl and a woman with one arm on an airplane), explains why your brain is wired to go negative and how to actually rewire it, and makes the case that contentment is available to you even in the hardest season. Not Pollyanna pretending. Real perspective. She also shares the time a kink in her neck led to the best massage of her life, and why finding the gift inside the hard thing is how you bridge the gap out of the rut faster. Joel 2:25 is threaded throughout: God renews the years the locusts have eaten, and sometimes He does it in an instant. If you're ready to do that work with someone who is in the weeds right alongside you, 1:1 coaching with Dani starts at aholymess.com.   In this episode, Dani talks about: The airplane story: what a woman with one arm said to a struggling businessman that stopped him cold and reset everything The negativity bias — the science behind why your brain defaults to hard and how to condition yourself out of it Why contentment can coexist with hard circumstances, and what it means when it can't The kink in the neck that led to the best massage Dani's had in years (and what that has to do with finding God in the middle of the mess) Joel 2:25: God renewing the years the locusts have eaten, and why He can do it in an instant What it actually looks like to come back home to yourself when you've abandoned your own soul Glad you're here, Dani Want to Go Deeper? 💫 Grab the free Perspective Finder worksheet → https://www.danisumner.com/233 Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone.   If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who's stuck in the spiral. 🤍

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Do you ever feel stuck, emotionally drained, or like you’re constantly striving but never “enough”? You’re in the right place! Welcome to A HOLY MESS Podcast (ranked in the top 1% globally🎉), a podcast designed for you if you’re ready to break free and heal from self-doubt, burnout, and overgiving—so you can step into confidence, peace, God’s grace and purpose with clarity. Each week, I share biblical wisdom, mindset shifts, and real conversations to help you: ✨ Overcome self-doubt and fear with faith-based confidence. ✨ Let go of striving and perfectionism and embrace God’s grace. ✨ Set healthy boundaries and stop people-pleasing without guilt. ✨ Heal from burnout, shame, regret, and emotional exhaustion. ✨ Renew your mind with God’s truth and step into your purpose. There’s no magic wand to find more freedom, but there are practical tools that can help. Even as Christians who sometimes feel unworthy and shame about our past, anxious about our future, or feel like we are not enough. There is so much more for us! There’s hope, joy, peace, fun, purpose, and a reason that YOU are on this planet. If you’re ready to rediscover your worth, reconnect with God, and finally feel at peace, you’re in the right place. We can have fun and laugh while trudging through our messes; this stuff doesn’t need to be dry and boring. I can’t wait to journey with you. Your new friend, Dani Learn -＞ www.danisumner.com Connect -＞ hello@danisumner.com Facebook -＞ https://www.facebook.com/DaniSumnerCoaching Instagram -＞ https://www.instagram.com/danisumner/

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