A HOLY MESS | Nervous System, Somatic, Regret, Exhausted, Burnout, Boundaries, Emotional Healing, Christian Mindset, Recovery

Dani Sumner | Christian Life Coach, Spiritual Director, Spiritual Transformation Coach
  • 5.0 (181)
  • Christianity
  • Updated Weekly

Do you ever feel stuck, emotionally drained, or like you’re constantly striving but never “enough”? You’re in the right place! Welcome to A HOLY MESS Podcast (ranked in the top 1% globally🎉), a podcast designed for you if you’re ready to break free and heal from self-doubt, burnout, and overgiving—so you can step into confidence, peace, God’s grace and purpose with clarity. Each week, I share biblical wisdom, mindset shifts, and real conversations to help you: ✨ Overcome self-doubt and fear with faith-based confidence. ✨ Let go of striving and perfectionism and embrace God’s grace. ✨ Set healthy boundaries and stop people-pleasing without guilt. ✨ Heal from burnout, shame, regret, and emotional exhaustion. ✨ Renew your mind with God’s truth and step into your purpose. There’s no magic wand to find more freedom, but there are practical tools that can help. Even as Christians who sometimes feel unworthy and shame about our past, anxious about our future, or feel like we are not enough. There is so much more for us! There’s hope, joy, peace, fun, purpose, and a reason that YOU are on this planet. If you’re ready to rediscover your worth, reconnect with God, and finally feel at peace, you’re in the right place. We can have fun and laugh while trudging through our messes; this stuff doesn’t need to be dry and boring. I can’t wait to journey with you. Your new friend, Dani Learn -＞ www.danisumner.com Connect -＞ hello@danisumner.com Facebook -＞ https://www.facebook.com/DaniSumnerCoaching Instagram -＞ https://www.instagram.com/danisumner/

  1. 5d ago

    233. It's All About Perspective: Finding the Gift Inside the Hard Season

    📞 Ready to do the deeper work? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner   📋 Free Perspective Finder worksheet → https://www.danisumner.com/233 It's All About Perspective: Finding the Gift Inside the Hard Season You know that spiral. The one where you're stuck in your own mess, comparing yourself to everyone who seems to have it together, and your brain keeps dragging you back to every hard thing on the list. That's not a character flaw. That's the negativity bias, and your brain is just doing its job. But here's what Dani heard from her dog groomer this week, and what a stranger on a plane said to her friend mid-rough-day: it's all about perspective. In this episode, Dani shares a story that will stop you cold (the one with a blind girl and a woman with one arm on an airplane), explains why your brain is wired to go negative and how to actually rewire it, and makes the case that contentment is available to you even in the hardest season. Not Pollyanna pretending. Real perspective. She also shares the time a kink in her neck led to the best massage of her life, and why finding the gift inside the hard thing is how you bridge the gap out of the rut faster. Joel 2:25 is threaded throughout: God renews the years the locusts have eaten, and sometimes He does it in an instant. If you're ready to do that work with someone who is in the weeds right alongside you, 1:1 coaching with Dani starts at aholymess.com.   In this episode, Dani talks about: The airplane story: what a woman with one arm said to a struggling businessman that stopped him cold and reset everything The negativity bias — the science behind why your brain defaults to hard and how to condition yourself out of it Why contentment can coexist with hard circumstances, and what it means when it can't The kink in the neck that led to the best massage Dani's had in years (and what that has to do with finding God in the middle of the mess) Joel 2:25: God renewing the years the locusts have eaten, and why He can do it in an instant What it actually looks like to come back home to yourself when you've abandoned your own soul Glad you're here, Dani Want to Go Deeper? 💫 Grab the free Perspective Finder worksheet → https://www.danisumner.com/233 Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone.   If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who's stuck in the spiral. 🤍

    17 min

  2. Jun 25

    232. Made for More: A Reset for the Healing Journey with Guided Meditation

    📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner You've been doing the work for years. The healing, the therapy, the journaling, the prayer, the "why am I still like this" spiral. And sometimes the most honest thing anyone can say is: it takes time. It takes repetition. It takes patience. And it takes someone to remind you that the joy is actually in the journey, not sitting at the finish line waiting. In this episode, Dani opens a community call with exactly that kind of recalibration. She talks about what it really looks like to take care of your whole system (physically, emotionally, spiritually), why Romans 8:28 isn't just a nice saying but a daily strategy, and what to do when you inherited someone else's negativity without ever signing up for it. She also shares a client story that will land if you've ever thought "I didn't have it that bad" while still feeling like something's off. And she closes with a guided white light visualization and prayer to help you get present, get grounded, and reconnect with the God who designed you on purpose. If you're ready to stop just circling the mountain and start doing the deeper work, 1:1 coaching with Dani is one conversation away. Start at aholymess.com. In this episode, Dani talks about: Why healing takes longer than you want it to, and why that's actually part of the design The white light visualization Dani guides you through to reset your nervous system and reconnect with God What inherited negativity looks like when your childhood wasn't obviously traumatic Romans 8:28 as a daily strategy, not just a comfort verse, and what it looks like to actually put God to the test Why your overactive brain is a superpower once you aim it at how good things can get Glad you're here, Dani Want to Go Deeper? 💫 Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone. If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're made for more. 🤍

    13 min

  3. Jun 13

    231. The Real Reason You're Burned Out: Your Soul Wants a Seat at the Table

    📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner The Real Reason You're Burned Out: Your Soul Wants a Seat at the Table You've achieved. You've raised the family. You've done right by God. And somewhere along the way you woke up feeling numb, lost, like you've been a passenger in your own life. In this episode (recorded mid-walk in Dani's backyard), she gets real about waking your soul back up, giving her a seat at the table, and becoming the main character of your own life again. In this episode, Dani talks about: Why striver-women lose themselves while doing all the right things The difference between your soul's voice and your s****y committee's voice A guided soul check-in you can do right now (breathing + "soul, what do you need?") "Everything is awkward until it's elegant": permission to be new at this Glad you're here, Dani 🎙️ Mentioned in the Episode The "couple drinks on accident" episode Dani referenced: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-holy-mess-nervous-system-somatic-regret-exhausted/id1593131576?i=1000649031720  Want to Go Deeper? 💫 Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others (or just to become a better human). No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone. If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're not where they used to be. 🤍

    17 min

  4. Jun 10

    230. 7 Practical Tools to Regulate Your Nervous System When You're Triggered

    You've done the deep work. The therapy. The books. The journaling. And you still get triggered, you still slip into the s****y committee, you still reach for the chips or the wine or the doom scroll before your brain catches up. In this episode (a peek inside one of Dani's group sessions), she gives you 7 practical tools to calm the storm so you can actually do the deeper identity shift work and step into your next level. She shares the thesis that "practical isn't sexy, but it's very, very needed," the client story about Jane who learned to giggle at her own s****y committee instead of crucifying herself, and the reframe that will change how you think about the hard people in your life: honor your allergies. In this episode, Dani talks about: Why root work alone keeps you circling the same mountain The "house on fire inside the house" chaos most of us are actually fighting 7 practical tools to reach for the moment a trigger hits (walking, classical music, air lunges, box breathing, calling a friend, dancing, ping pong or a tennis ball) The "honor your allergies" reframe for the people who keep triggering you A simple boundary that saved a friend's sleep (no calls with her daughter past noon) Joel 2:25 and the years the locusts have eaten If your s****y committee has been running you ragged and you're ready to do the deeper identity shift work, this is what I do with my 1:1 clients (and what I train inside the Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this work for others). Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com, or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner if you're ready to grab a spot right now. And if you're not ready yet, this episode will hit like a deep breath and a hug and a kick in the ass all at once. Glad you're here, Dani 🎵 From the Episode Dani's classical music playlist for nervous system regulation: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2AIyLES2xJfPa6EOxmKySl?si=YA5K4BzPTmCWiyrxucOrQg&pi=0GwGP2rIRnOWV Want to Go Deeper? 💫 Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone. If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're not where they used to be. 🤍 🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/ 🌟 Follow me on YouTube 🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram

    27 min

  5. Jun 6

    229. How to Stop the Overthinking Spiral: 4 Body-Based Practices to Calm Your Monkey Brain

    Your brain is doing the thing again. Spinning every scenario, asking every question, mapping every worst case. You can feel the anxiety climbing and you cannot think your way out of it. In this episode, Dani gets real about the overthinking spiral, the gift hiding inside your monkey brain, and the one line that changes everything: overthinking is not healed by more thinking. She shares the box breathing pattern she uses with clients, the truth that your s****y committee does not get to run the rest of your day, and why getting out of your head and into your body is how the Holy Spirit actually speaks to you. In this episode, Dani talks about: Why your overthinking brain is a gift, not a curse The one-line reframe: overthinking is not healed by more thinking How to name the spiral out loud so it loses its grip Box breathing (4-4-4) for when your nervous system is racing Getting back into your body so you can actually hear your intuition How to shut down the s****y committee and the critic upstairs If your s****y committee has been running you ragged and you're ready to actually become friends with your brain instead of being attacked by it, this is exactly the work I do with my 1:1 clients. Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com and let's figure out your next right step. And if you're not ready for that yet, this episode will hit like a deep breath and a hug and a kick in the tail all at once. Glad you're here, Dani Ready to Go to Your Next Level? 💫 Friend, if you're feeling the tug, that stirring inside that says there's MORE for you, I want to talk to you. Whether you're ready to do the deep life transformation work or you feel called to help OTHER people transform their lives, I've got something for you. 🌟 1:1 Life Coaching & Transformation Programs If you're craving more peace, more joy, more purpose, and you're ready to stop just surviving and start THRIVING! Let's connect. Book a free discovery call and let's figure out together if one of my programs is your next right step. 🌟 "Messy Life Transformation Life Coach Certification" --Do you feel called to help people? Are you someone who's been through the hard stuff and now wants to turn that pain into purpose? Getting certified as a life coach through my program is one of the most holy, rich, and powerful things you can do; not just for your clients, but for YOU. It changed my life. And it can change yours. ➡️ Book Your FREE Discovery Call Today to schedule your call with Dani. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone. If This Episode Spoke to You… Would you do me a favor and leave a review? It helps so many more people find this community. And share this episode with a friend who needs to hear that they're not where they used to be, and that's WORTH celebrating. 🤍 🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/ 🌟 Follow me on YouTube 🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram

    20 min

  6. Jun 2

    228. Stop Waiting for Motivation. 5 Daily Practices to Prioritize Yourself and Regulate Your Nervous System.

    Life keeps lifing. You know what you need to do for yourself, but somewhere between the to-do list and the people who need you, you keep landing at the bottom of your own priority list. In this episode, Dani gets real about the foundational practices she comes back to every time she starts to drift, and the mantra that rewired everything. She shares the magical moment in Paris where she thanked the past version of herself for the work that set her up to be on that solo trip, the line that has changed her mornings ("I'm unavailable to put Dani on the back burner"), and why she thinks motivation is, in her words, a crock of shit. In this episode, Dani talks about: - Why prioritizing yourself is the opposite of selfish (and how to spot the lie) - The 5 non-negotiable morning practices that keep her grounded - The alarm clock trick that gets you out of bed every time - Why burnout heals in the middle of life, not on a six-month sabbatical - Gentle somatic practices to wake up a fried nervous system - The Serenity Prayer as a daily reset button If you've been carrying everyone else and you keep landing last on your own list, this episode will hit like a deep breath and a hug and a kick in the ass all at once. When you're ready to stop putting yourself on the back burner for real, book a free discovery call and let's figure out your next right step together. Glad you're here, Dani Ready to Go to Your Next Level? 💫 Friend, if you're feeling the tug, that stirring inside that says there's MORE for you, I want to talk to you. Whether you're ready to do the deep life transformation work or you feel called to help OTHER people transform their lives, I've got something for you. 🌟 1:1 Life Coaching & Transformation Programs If you're craving more peace, more joy, more purpose, and you're ready to stop just surviving and start THRIVING! Let's connect. Book a free discovery call and let's figure out together if one of my programs is your next right step. 🌟 "Messy Life Transformation Life Coach Certification" --Do you feel called to help people? Are you someone who's been through the hard stuff and now wants to turn that pain into purpose? Getting certified as a life coach through my program is one of the most holy, rich, and powerful things you can do; not just for your clients, but for YOU. It changed my life. And it can change yours. ➡️ Book Your FREE Discovery Call Today ➡️ Visit https://calendly.com/danisumner to schedule your call with Dani. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone. If This Episode Spoke to You… Would you do me a favor and leave a review? It helps so many more people find this community. And share this episode with a friend who needs to hear that they're not where they used to be, and that's WORTH celebrating. 🤍 🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/ 🌟 Follow me on YouTube 🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram

    26 min

  7. May 28

    227. You've Done the Work. Now What? Jim Beebe on Turning Your Pain Into Your Purpose

    You've done the inner work. So why does it still feel like you're circling the same mountain? In this episode, Dani gets real with her longtime therapist Jim Beebe about what's next when the healing work starts asking to become something bigger. She shares the moment Jim called her "a trauma looking for a drama," the Richard Rohr line that changed her ("those who don't transform their pain will transmit their pain"), and the reframe that landed hardest: the past becomes a story you own, not an experience you keep living.   In this episode, Dani and Jim talk about: - Why some of us get addicted to our own trauma - The shift from "what then" work to "what now" work - The wounded healer paradox: you grow by giving it away - How to tell when you're ready to coach others (and when you're not) - The difference between business coaching and transformational coaching - What it feels like to move from reactive to responsive   If you've felt the tug to turn what you've walked through into something that helps other people walk through their own mess, the Messy Life Transformation Life Coach Certification was built for this season. Book a free discovery call at https://calendly.com/danisumner and let's see if it's your next right step. And if you're not there yet, this episode will still hit like a deep breath and a hug and a kick in the ass all at once.   Glad you're here, Dani   Ready to Go to Your Next Level? 💫 Friend, if you're feeling the tug, that stirring inside that says there's MORE for you, I want to talk to you. Whether you're ready to do the deep life transformation work or you feel called to help OTHER people transform their lives, I've got something for you. 🌟 1:1 Life Coaching & Transformation Programs If you're craving more peace, more joy, more purpose, and you're ready to stop just surviving and start THRIVING! Let's connect. Book a free discovery call and let's figure out together if one of my programs is your next right step. 🌟 "Messy Life Transformation Life Coach Certification" --Do you feel called to help people? Are you someone who's been through the hard stuff and now wants to turn that pain into purpose? Getting certified as a life coach through my program is one of the most holy, rich, and powerful things you can do; not just for your clients, but for YOU. It changed my life. And it can change yours. ➡️ Book Your FREE Discovery Call Today ➡️ Visit https://calendly.com/danisumner to schedule your call with Dani. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone. If This Episode Spoke to You… Would you do me a favor and leave a review? It helps so many more people find this community. And share this episode with a friend who needs to hear that they're not where they used to be, and that's WORTH celebrating. 🤍 🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/ 🌟 Follow me on YouTube 🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram

    21 min

  8. May 23

    226. Encore: A Christian's Journey Through Stage Four Cancer (with Dani's Dear Friend Deb Schultz)

    What do you do when life hands you a diagnosis you never saw coming, and the future you'd been quietly building gets stripped away one loss at a time? In this encore episode (originally episode 160), Dani sits down with one of her dearest friends, Deborah Schultz, who was diagnosed with stage four ovarian cancer over five years ago and was told she had maybe five years to live. Spoiler: she's still here, still standing, and just finished her 105th chemo infusion. In this episode, Dani gets real about what it looks like to walk through the unthinkable with grit, honesty, humor, and Jesus. She shares Deb's stunning story of being prayed over for her health by a fellow board member before she even knew anything was wrong, the brutal honesty of "the red devil" chemo and the agony of 30 mouth blisters, the line that's going to stick with you long after this episode ends ("pull on your big girl panties and just do it"), and Deb's quiet refusal to be a victim even after a lifetime of reasons she could have been one. In this episode, Dani and Deb talk about getting a stage four diagnosis and the grief work that has to come before acceptance can show up, why you have to actively mourn the loss of who you used to be so you can build a new normal, why being victimized in your past does not mean you have to live as a victim now, how to spot the red flag of isolating yourself when you're struggling, the truth that pity parties are okay as long as they have an end time, the way God shows up most often in the small subtle moments, and what it looks like to carry stage four cancer and still ooze joy because you're not carrying it alone. If you're walking through any kind of "this is not the life I planned" season, whether it's a diagnosis, a loss, a career ending, a body that doesn't work the way it used to, or just the slow ache of becoming someone new because the old version of you doesn't fit anymore, this episode will feel like a deep breath and a hug and a kick in the ass all at once. Deb is the real deal. And she's living proof that joy and suffering can live in the same body at the same time. Glad you're here, Dani Ready to Go to Your Next Level? 💫 Friend, if you're feeling the tug, that stirring inside that says there's MORE for you, I want to talk to you. Whether you're ready to do the deep life transformation work or you feel called to help OTHER people transform their lives, I've got something for you. 🌟 1:1 Life Coaching & Transformation Programs If you're craving more peace, more joy, more purpose, and you're ready to stop just surviving and start THRIVING! Let's connect. Book a free discovery call and let's figure out together if one of my programs is your next right step. 🌟 "Messy Life Transformation Life Coach Certification" --Do you feel called to help people? Are you someone who's been through the hard stuff and now wants to turn that pain into purpose? Getting certified as a life coach through my program is one of the most holy, rich, and powerful things you can do; not just for your clients, but for YOU. It changed my life. And it can change yours. ➡️ Book Your FREE Discovery Call Today ➡️ Visit https://calendly.com/danisumner to schedule your call with Dani. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone. If This Episode Spoke to You… Would you do me a favor and leave a review? It helps so many more people find this community. And share this episode with a friend who needs to hear that they're not where they used to be, and that's WORTH celebrating. 🤍 🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/ 🌟 Follow me on YouTube 🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram

    52 min
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About

Do you ever feel stuck, emotionally drained, or like you’re constantly striving but never “enough”? You’re in the right place! Welcome to A HOLY MESS Podcast (ranked in the top 1% globally🎉), a podcast designed for you if you’re ready to break free and heal from self-doubt, burnout, and overgiving—so you can step into confidence, peace, God’s grace and purpose with clarity. Each week, I share biblical wisdom, mindset shifts, and real conversations to help you: ✨ Overcome self-doubt and fear with faith-based confidence. ✨ Let go of striving and perfectionism and embrace God’s grace. ✨ Set healthy boundaries and stop people-pleasing without guilt. ✨ Heal from burnout, shame, regret, and emotional exhaustion. ✨ Renew your mind with God’s truth and step into your purpose. There’s no magic wand to find more freedom, but there are practical tools that can help. Even as Christians who sometimes feel unworthy and shame about our past, anxious about our future, or feel like we are not enough. There is so much more for us! There’s hope, joy, peace, fun, purpose, and a reason that YOU are on this planet. If you’re ready to rediscover your worth, reconnect with God, and finally feel at peace, you’re in the right place. We can have fun and laugh while trudging through our messes; this stuff doesn’t need to be dry and boring. I can’t wait to journey with you. Your new friend, Dani Learn -＞ www.danisumner.com Connect -＞ hello@danisumner.com Facebook -＞ https://www.facebook.com/DaniSumnerCoaching Instagram -＞ https://www.instagram.com/danisumner/

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