Mormon patriarchy, Heavenly Mother, and the lived experience of LDS women take center stage as Meghan Farner welcomes Amy McPhie Allebest, founder of Breaking Down Patriarchy and author of “Dear Mormon Man, Tell Me What You Would Do.” Together, they explore Mormon feminism, faith transitions, and how inherited gender roles shape our relationships, spiritual identities, and sense of possibility. Amy shares the personal experiences behind her viral essay, including her struggle with gendered temple language and her desire to help men understand women’s experiences. She explains the difference between benevolent patriarchy and misogyny, why women sometimes defend patriarchal systems, and how rigid expectations can limit both women’s individual development and men’s emotional connection. The conversation also explores motherhood, meaningful work, biblical interpretation, and the relationship between images of God and women’s understanding of their own worth. Meghan and Amy share distinct perspectives on Heavenly Mother while considering what equality and partnership could make possible. For listeners navigating faith expansion, questioning religious authority, or seeking language for experiences they have struggled to name, this episode offers compassionate conversation and resources for reflection. Amy closes with feminist theology recommendations for those who want to challenge patriarchy while remaining connected to their own faith traditions. In this episode: How Amy’s personal questions became Breaking Down PatriarchyWhat distinguishes benevolent patriarchy from misogynyWhy loving intentions and unequal authority can coexistHow inherited gender roles affect women and menMotherhood, personal gifts, and the freedom to develop bothPatriarchy, biblical context, and earlier egalitarian societiesHeavenly Mother and the influence of exclusively masculine God imageryResources for reclaiming your place within your faith Timestamps (00:00) Introduction to Amy McPhie Allebest and her work on patriarchy (01:18) Amy’s upbringing, BYU years, marriage, and early motherhood (03:45) The unnamed pain of confinement and losing individuality (04:45) Temple language, spiritual injury, and years of wrestling (06:36) Writing Dear Mormon Man and the viral response (07:59) Stanford, self-teaching patriarchy, and starting the podcast (09:20) Breaking Down Patriarchy as a public learning project (12:17) Meghan’s own faith journey and why the topic matters now (13:53) Feminist awakening without political motivation (15:06) Patriarchy as the water Western civilization swims in (16:32) Defining patriarchy through etymology and hierarchy (18:19) Misogynistic patriarchy versus benevolent patriarchy (20:04) Hierarchy, power, and why women can still benefit inside patriarchy (22:01) Race, class, disability, and how patriarchy intersects with other harms (23:37) Pyramid structure, elite men, and women as enforcers (26:44) Why patriarchy is hard to see from inside culture and religion (29:06) Why the LDS Church is patriarchal by definition (31:09) Utah, church demographics, and women’s awakening (35:05) The soul-level harms of patriarchy for women and men (38:25) Women’s self-actualization versus men’s relational loss (40:33) Divine feminine and divine masculine as balance, not roles (43:29) Women, education, birth rates, and the false feminist stereotype (45:03) Motherhood, joy, and rejecting the demeaning of caregiving (46:46) Biblical patriarchy and why the written record is male-centered (48:31) Egalitarian societies, hunter-gatherers, and the rise of agriculture (54:38) Why a Mother God matters for self-concept and divine balance (58:59) Amy’s personal view of Heavenly Mother and spiritual mystery (62:58) Staying in faith while reclaiming women’s voices (64:50) Where to find Breaking Down Patriarchy and Amy’s work Amy McPhie Allebest is a writer, speaker, and educator, and the founder and host of the Breaking Down Patriarchy podcast and YouTube channel. She is the author of the widely shared essay Dear Mormon Man, Tell Me What You Would Do. As introduced in this episode, Amy holds a master’s degree in liberal arts from Stanford University and is pursuing a PhD in education, culture, and society at the University of Utah. She and her husband have four children. Connect with Amy: Explore Breaking Down Patriarchy, watch the project’s videos, and read Dear Mormon Man, Tell Me What You Would Do. Find Amy’s work on Instagram at @bdownpatriarchy. The essay’s official website confirms this spelling of the Instagram handle. Essay by Amy McPhie Allebest Join the conversation: What expectations about gender have you reconsidered in your own spiritual journey? Subscribe to Hidden Wisdom for more conversations about faith expansion, divine identity, and spiritual growth. Reclaim your spiritual authority, practice discernment, and develop your spiritual gifts at the Sacred Knowing Workshop on November 13th in Huntsville UT. Learn more at: https://meghanfarner.com Connect with us: • Instagram: @hiddenwisdompod • YouTube: @hiddenwisdomldd