The Liquored Up Low Down: A Bizarre News Podcast

The Liquored Up Low Down
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  • NEWS COMMENTARY
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The most entertaining news stories aren't always on page one, and there's a good chance you missed the best of the best. The Liquored Up Low Down collects the finest obscure news stories, steeps them in alcohol, and passes them on to you, so you can stay informed and up to date on the most useless current events of the week.The cocktails are mixed and the Low Down is about to begin!

  1. 1D AGO

    Swearing Makes You Stronger, The Rubik's Cube Should Keep Aliens Away, Take My Wife So I Can Vacation Here, You Know . . . Lyft Tracks Their Cars, Right?

    Send a text Our 50th episode! More AI fun and no less than two Florida Man/Woman stories! The Drink: The Good Cork 1 ounce single pot still Irish whiskey1 ounce mezcal1/2 ounce Benedictine2 dashes Peychaud’s bittersGarnish: apple sliceThe Stories: Swearing makes you stronger: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2025/12/251222080123.htm AI Worst in Show: https://www.the-independent.com/tech/ces-gadget-show-samsung-amazon-b2897320.html Corvette Donuts and the Date Who Wanted It: https://www.roadandtrack.com/news/a70010512/florida-chevrolet-corvette-donuts-church-parking-lot-first-date/ Rubik's Cube Into Space: https://www.dexerto.com/entertainment/tetris-creator-wants-rubiks-cubes-launched-into-space-as-a-symbol-of-civilization-3303045/ Take My Wife, Please! https://www.irishstar.com/news/world-news/tenerife-man-dead-wife-airport-36544182 Targeted Pooping is a Thing in Florida: https://weartv.com/news/local/police-woman-defecates-toward-officers-during-arrest-at-fort-walton-beach-massage-parlor This Week in Duh: Lyft knows where its cars are: https://www.local10.com/news/local/2026/01/13/woman-accused-of-ordering-lyft-ride-in-south-miami-then-stealing-drivers-car/ Contact Info: Hate-mail, questions or topic ideas for the show, hit us up on twitter at @LiquoredUpLD or email us at liquoreduplowdown@gmail.com. Bryan can be reached on Bluesky at @realbryansullins.bsky.social.  Tom can be reached on twitter @Intelligiant2. Find more of Bryan at: https://thinkingoutcloud.org/ Find Tom as Donnie Kruger at: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_oaVG9YC-lZ9Lao50t-hzw

    48 min

  2. FEB 17

    The Frog Cop Hallucination, This Episode is a Gas, The Drunken Mermaid, The Yearly Butt Insertion Report, Hey Come Back with Our Walrus Penis Bone

    Send a text This episode is a gas! The Drink: The Dramshambo Gin Negroni: 1 oz Drumshanbo Gunpowder Irish Gin0.25 oz Gracias a Dios Mezcal Espadín1 oz Aperol1 oz Lillet BlancGarnish: orange peelOak wood chips for smoking Cop "AI's" Into a Frog: https://futurism.com/artificial-intelligence/ai-police-report-frog National Pass Gas Day: https://nationaltoday.com/national-pass-gas-day/ The Drunken Mermaid: https://www.usmagazine.com/crime-news/news/nude-louisiana-woman-attacked-cop-who-told-her-to-leave-a-private-pond-trying-to-be-a-mermaid/ The Official Anal Insertion List: https://www.vice.com/en/article/the-25-worst-items-pulled-from-peoples-butts-in-2025-according-to-the-us-government/ The Beloved Walrus Penis: https://www.nj.com/food/2026/01/beloved-walrus-penis-stolen-from-nj-cheesesteak-icon-owner-is-blubbering-mad.html The Matrix Lesson about Cloud Cover: https://www.independent.co.uk/climate-change/dim-sun-climate-change-b2894873.html This Week in Duh: The American Hero (but not the one you think): https://www.detroitnews.com/story/news/nation/2025/12/31/runaway-indiana-jones-boulder-smashes-into-disney-world-staffer/87978376007/ Contact Info: Hate-mail, questions or topic ideas for the show, hit us up on twitter at @LiquoredUpLD or email us at liquoreduplowdown@gmail.com. Bryan can be reached on Bluesky at @realbryansullins.bsky.social.  Tom can be reached on twitter @Intelligiant2. Find more of Bryan at: https://thinkingoutcloud.org/ Find Tom as Donnie Kruger at: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_oaVG9YC-lZ9Lao50t-hzw

    48 min

  3. FEB 3

    The 12 Year-Old Assassin, The Liquid Nitrogen Dare, Not a Thief: A Teleporter, Time to Smell the Donuts, There is One AI Not Good at Capitalism

    Send a text Belligerent tidings! The Drink: Egg Nog and Rum (or whatever you like), equal parts. The 12 Year Old Assassin: https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/child-assassin-aged-12-detained-36420862 Liquid Nitrogen Cocktail in Moscow: https://www.dexerto.com/food/man-ruptures-stomach-drinking-celebrity-chefs-liquid-nitrogen-cocktail-3298714/ Teleportation: https://www.clickorlando.com/traffic/2025/12/09/driver-claims-he-teleported-into-stolen-bmw-before-volusia-crash-deputies-say/ Too Much Donut Smell: https://www.scrippsnews.com/life/food-and-drink/living-here-means-breathing-in-doughnuts-all-day-and-some-have-had-enough Have All This Free Stuff I Will Order for You: https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/other/we-let-ai-run-our-office-vending-machine-it-lost-hundreds-of-dollars/ar-AA1SAlNa?ocid=msedgntphdr&cvid=452710651a8a40c4cc13a5f3acf96df9&ei=32 The Salvation Army Santa is a Bad Santa: https://www.wfla.com/news/salvation-army-bell-ringer-tries-to-impale-florida-publix-manager-with-donation-tripod-deputies-say/ This Week in Duh: https://www.ign.com/articles/i-want-my-money-back-some-marvel-fans-leave-midnight-avatar-fire-and-ash-screenings-disappointed-theres-no-avengers-doomsday-trailer-though-others-say-theyve-seen-it Contact Info: Hate-mail, questions or topic ideas for the show, hit us up on twitter at @LiquoredUpLD or email us at liquoreduplowdown@gmail.com. Bryan can be reached on Bluesky at @realbryansullins.bsky.social.  Tom can be reached on twitter @Intelligiant2. Find more of Bryan at: https://thinkingoutcloud.org/ Find Tom as Donnie Kruger at: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_oaVG9YC-lZ9Lao50t-hzw

    51 min

  4. JAN 20

    The Self Proclaimed Smartest Man in the World, It's Doubtful This Scam Will Work, Crypto Key Holder Had ONE JOB, Taylor the Wolf D.N.G.A.F

    Send a text The Drink: Stout Beer! The Stories: This Guy Proclaims He's Smart:  https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/im-worlds-smartest-man-know-36320880 Hello! I'm My Mother, See!  https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2025/11/24/son-dresses-as-dead-mother-mrs-doubtfire-pension-scam/ An Update on the Urso-Japanese War:  https://www.independent.co.uk/asia/japan/japan-bear-attack-toilet-insurance-b2874766.html You Had One Job!  https://www.nytimes.com/2025/11/21/world/cryptography-group-lost-election-results.html?unlocked_article_code=1.208._aCi.O706MR3i3l3K That's a Whole Lot of Snails!  https://www.thetimes.com/world/europe/article/thieves-90000-euros-fine-french-snails-h97xmdqb2 Taylor the Wolf D.N.G.A.F:  https://www.kob.com/new-mexico/taylor-the-wolf-keeps-returning-to-mount-taylor-despite-relocations/ This Week in Duh: Hotel that wants to be good for the environment is bad for the environment:  https://www.nbcnews.com/world/africa/ritz-carlton-safari-lodge-threatens-critical-wildlife-corridor-rcna245406 Contact Info: Hate-mail, questions or topic ideas for the show, hit us up on twitter at @LiquoredUpLD or email us at liquoreduplowdown@gmail.com. Bryan can be reached on Bluesky at @realbryansullins.bsky.social.  Tom can be reached on twitter @Intelligiant2. Find more of Bryan at: https://thinkingoutcloud.org/ Find Tom as Donnie Kruger at: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_oaVG9YC-lZ9Lao50t-hzw

    49 min

  5. JAN 6

    I Stole This Bus to Make All the Normal Stops, This Freaking Guy, ChatGPT Invents Math, The Manchurian Preschooler, Did You Know Ultra-Processed Food Will Kill You?

    Send a text We're not getting any sponsorships from sharks in this episode! The Drink: https://www.liquor.com/recipes/the-paper-plane/ 3/4 ounce bourbon3/4 ounce Aperol3/4 ounce Amaro Nonino Quintessentia3/4 ounce lemon juice, freshly squeezedThe Stories: 10 Year Old Drives Himself Home  https://local12.com/news/nation-world/wa-wright-elementary-10-year-old-drives-himself-home-from-elementary-school-mom-makes-stolen-car-report-cincinnati-parenting-drivers-seat-incidents-mt-juliet-police-department-youth-montrose-drive-confusion-reckless-driving-disagreement Man Steals Bus and then Drives the Route:  https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/hamilton/bus-theft-9.6975733 This Freaking Guy:  https://www.wafb.com/2025/11/15/man-accused-vandalizing-veterans-day-display-left-his-drivers-license-scene-investigators-say/ ChatGPT Dreams and Aspirations:  https://www.cp24.com/news/canada/2025/11/17/ontario-man-alleges-chatgpt-caused-delusions-sues-parent-company-openai/ The Manchurian Preschooler:  https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/mum-finds-out-what-really-36218778 Shark Bit Me, Doo Doo Doo Doo:  https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cj0ep00g3ydo This Week in Duh: Ultra Processed Food Will Kill You: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2025/nov/18/ultra-processed-food-linked-to-harm-in-every-major-human-organ-study-finds Contact Info: Hate-mail, questions or topic ideas for the show, hit us up on twitter at @LiquoredUpLD or email us at liquoreduplowdown@gmail.com. Bryan can be reached on Bluesky at @realbryansullins.bsky.social.  Tom can be reached on twitter @Intelligiant2. Find more of Bryan at: https://thinkingoutcloud.org/ Find Tom as Donnie Kruger at: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_oaVG9YC-lZ9Lao50t-hzw

    50 min

  6. 12/23/2025

    The Urso-Japanese War, The Fedora (Not Florida) Man at the Louvre, Rare Halloocination, Bryan Gives a Tutorial on Whip-its, There is One Kardashian Who Can't Lawyer

    Send a text This one went long, but we cut it back to include the best stuff - we hope you enjoy! The Drink: The drink: The French Martini 2 ounces vodka1/4 ounce Chambord black raspberry liqueur1 3/4 ounces pineapple juiceThe Stories: The Bear-Japanese War: https://www.denvergazette.com/outtherecolorado/2025/11/06/japan-sends-military-to-assist-with-surge-in-bear-attacks-after-12th-fatality/ The Fedora Man Story: https://www.9news.com.au/world/louvre-robbery-fedora-man-identified/5be6d26a-fd61-456f-a05e-f82a10f9911d The Crystal (Clean) Skull: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c2317drzm04o I SEE BOOBS PEOPLE: https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/i-eye-surgery-could-see-36200137 The Whipped Cream Caper: https://globalnews.ca/news/11502594/guelph-gay-lea-whipped-cream/ Haunted Dolls (Again): https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/im-tormented-haunted-doll-swears-36152475 This Week in Duh: https://www.tmz.com/2025/11/08/kim-kardashian-fails-bar-exam/ Contact Info: Hate-mail, questions or topic ideas for the show, hit us up on twitter at @LiquoredUpLD or email us at liquoreduplowdown@gmail.com. Bryan can be reached on Bluesky at @realbryansullins.bsky.social.  Tom can be reached on twitter @Intelligiant2. Find more of Bryan at: https://thinkingoutcloud.org/ Find Tom as Donnie Kruger at: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_oaVG9YC-lZ9Lao50t-hzw

    54 min

  7. 12/09/2025

    The Human Butt is a Miracle, Wow That is a lot of Porn, The Smart Bed that isn't Smart at All, Tom is Very Very Old, Conspiracies are Widespread Because Internet

    Send a text Tom is old! The Drink - The Dixie Dew: 1 2⁄3 oz | Bourbon whiskey 1⁄3 oz | Giffard Menthe Pastille white crème de menthe 1⁄3 oz | Cointreau triple sec liqueur 1⁄2 oz | Chilled water (omit if using wet ice) The Stories: Man Stages Funeral: https://obdaily.com/weird/indian-man-stages-his-own-funeral-just-to-see-who-cares/ You Can Breathe Through Your Butt: https://scienceblog.cincinnatichildrens.org/ig-nobel-prize-awarded-to-takanori-takebe-for-butt-breathing-study/ Wow That is a lot of Porn: https://www.pcgamer.com/software/ai/employee-uploads-187-000-explicit-images-to-us-department-of-energy-network-intending-to-create-robot-porn-gets-caught-and-loses-his-security-clearance-complains-hes-facing-the-spanish-inquisition/ Smart Beds are (not) Smart: https://obdaily.com/news/science-tech/aws-outage-leaves-2000-smart-beds-overheating-and-stuck-upright/ Stop Doing Pranks, Kids: https://futurism.com/artificial-intelligence/police-warning-kids-ai-prank The Lego Theft Ring: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/10/18/us/lego-theft-california-arrest.html This Week in Duh: Conspiracies and the Internet: https://www.technologyreview.com/2025/10/30/1126457/its-never-been-easier-to-be-a-conspiracy-theorist/ Contact Info: Hate-mail, questions or topic ideas for the show, hit us up on twitter at @LiquoredUpLD or email us at liquoreduplowdown@gmail.com. Bryan can be reached on Bluesky at @realbryansullins.bsky.social.  Tom can be reached on twitter @Intelligiant2. Find more of Bryan at: https://thinkingoutcloud.org/ Find Tom as Donnie Kruger at: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_oaVG9YC-lZ9Lao50t-hzw

    51 min

  8. 11/25/2025

    The Great Kindergarten Guilt Trip, There is No Way She Went 10 Years Without . . . , We Rid America of the Political Divide, Tom Wins at Trivia x 2!

    Send a text This one went a bit long because we had two Q and A bits that we couldn't cut and they won't disappoint! The Drink: The Oaxaca Old Fashioned: https://www.liquor.com/recipes/oaxacan-old-fashioned/ The Stories: This Happened Because You Wouldn't Buy My Art: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cq8ed2g95zlo Lesson: Don't Confess a Crime to ChatGPT, But You Probably Knew That Already: https://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/chatgpt-confession-196015 You Sin if You M********e: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/madison-prewett-masturbation_n_685e9ff2e4b073fdc1d58cc0 QAnon Shaman Sues Everyone: https://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/news/phoenix-qanon-shaman-files-40-trillion-lawsuit-against-trump-22763479/ Squirrel Attacks! https://apnews.com/article/aggressive-squirrel-hurt-people-43efad83aa78de39affc1b3cd3c93afe Sex Trivia Nights in Seattle: https://www.seattletimes.com/life/culture/seattles-sex-trivia-draws-crowds-%E4%B8%80-and-educates-them/ This Week in Duh: Where to Go if You Are a Gold Digger: https://nypost.com/2025/10/04/lifestyle/top-10-gold-digger-states-revealed-in-a-new-study/ Contact Info: Hate-mail, questions or topic ideas for the show, hit us up on twitter at @LiquoredUpLD or email us at liquoreduplowdown@gmail.com. Bryan can be reached on Bluesky at @realbryansullins.bsky.social.  Tom can be reached on twitter @Intelligiant2. Find more of Bryan at: https://thinkingoutcloud.org/ Find Tom as Donnie Kruger at: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_oaVG9YC-lZ9Lao50t-hzw

    58 min
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About

The most entertaining news stories aren't always on page one, and there's a good chance you missed the best of the best. The Liquored Up Low Down collects the finest obscure news stories, steeps them in alcohol, and passes them on to you, so you can stay informed and up to date on the most useless current events of the week.The cocktails are mixed and the Low Down is about to begin!

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